Big Blog Theory

Kids On The East Side Of Town, Chapter 11, Let’s Get Ready To Rumble

{Warning, contains strong language and adult humor}

It was Wednesday 22nd of June, 1989 in Hackney. When the clock struck 9, I knew it was time to get ready, we were also really worried about Johnny because of the state that he was in, but we all stayed happy and positive for him . Johnny would hate to see us upset about tough things, he’d look at us and go ” Don’t be silly, why are you upset ?, don’t worry about that, as long as I’m ok and I’m breathing and as long as my heart is beating, then it’s fine, don’t worry yourselves, you make yourself sick like that ”, he wouldn’t abide seeing us upset, whatever happens to him, he wants to chaos of every day life carrying on back at home, you know, the hussle and bussle, he can’t stand seeing us worrying about him, so we all try our best to be in good spirits, which is hard sometimes but we try . We were all ready to knock the Rejects out of the lot . Everybody was downstairs, really pumped and excited. Kevin was sitting down, reading a newspaper. He suddenly spotted an article about Johnny, Travis and Emmett being heroes because they saved the kids from getting beaten up. It was in big bold writing, spelling out ” Three Good For Nothing Hoodlums Rescue Five Young Minors In Violent Mugging, They’re Names Were Emmett Yohanson, Johnny Branson And Travis Fisher ”.

” Hey look, it’s in the newspaper, Jamie, did you hear about this ?”, Kevin asked, as he went to go and find Jamie in the kitchen .

” Yeah, I was there, remember, we were all there at the time ”, Jamie said .

” Oh yeah, I suppose you was, hah anyway, it said that all three of them were heroes, I mean, I was there when it happened, we were all there when it happened, but now, this is as good as it gets, it’s a big deal when it makes the headlines in the newspapers and everybody knows about it, this is wicked, arrr, gor blimey, that’s made my day, that has, I highly doubt that Emmett and Johnny would give a monkees about this, but neh, whatever, Johnny, Emmett and Travis are in the newspaper, god save the fucking queen, for all fucking man kind, woooooo ”, Kevin shouted .

” Oh leave it out ”, Jamie said . ” That’s pretty cool, actually, it shows their faces, their names and everything, it’s pretty accurate, caught me by surprise, never knew that they were heroes, I just thought that they were life wasters, good for nothing layabouts, but the hatched out of their shells, managed to do the right thing for once ”, Jamie said .

” As if ”, Dominick said . Then, Kevin went to go and show Travis the newspaper article .

” Hey Travis, hey man, you wouldn’t believe what’s in the newspaper, this morning, it has the whole report on you, Johnny and Emmett saving the kids, they called you heroes ”, Kevin said . ” I don’t even believe it myself, if I ask myself ”, he added .

” Yeah, it’s cool, I guess ”, Travis said . Travis just makes me laugh sometimes. He’s like, been there, done that, no enthusiasm whatsoever, maybe he was tired though. I can’t blame him, to be honest, I’m knackered too, I may not look it, but .

” You better be proud cause this is as good as it gets ”, Kevin said . ” You guys look like fucking cow boys though, you look like you came from the bronx, I bloody love this ”, he said, as he walked off . Then we all sat down, getting ready for the big day . Emmett wasn’t in the house, he had to go and take care of something, as always, the man can’t sit down in one place, he’s always doing something . Then he turns up out of no where and wonders why we’re confused . There was a knock at the door, I thought ” Who could that be now ?”, some con man, trying to sell me something . But no, it was Emmett . I’m surprised that he found his way back home .

” Guess who ?, guess who ?, guess who, guess who ?”, Emmett said as the door opened. He stood there, acting like he hasn’t been home in years . Gotta love his sense of humor . Love him or hate him, he has a brilliant sense of humor .

” Emmett, where were you, you mug, you suddenly come now ”, I said .

” I was on the adventure of a lifetime, thought I’d come and see you, see what you’re up to ”, Emmett said .

” Alright, come on in, you git, don’t forget to hang up your jacket, yeah ?, it’s not a blizzard in here ”, I said, and Emmett went inside and he hung up his jacket .

” It’s a blizzard out there though, can’t feel my fingers, bloody freezing ”, Emmett said .

” Lovely ”, I said . ” What were doing out there, you’ve been gone for about two hours ”, I asked .

” Oh, I’ve just been round the neighborhood, I’ve bumped into Mick, he’s just out walking his dog, man’s doing his duties, a man’s gotta do what he’s gotta do, he’s a nice geezer, you know, you should stop by and say hello from time to time, he’s a bit of a loose canon but he’s alright, nice lad ”, Emmett said .

” Oh come on, Emmett, I know you weren’t in the neighborhood, what else were you doing ?”, I asked .

” Nothing, oh yeah, I was just um, burning mattresses on the streets ”, Emmett replied .

” You what ?”, I said .

” I was burning mattresses on the streets, getting the lighter and setting them alight, basically, you know, like fire, flames ”, Emmett replied .

” Yes Emmett, I know what you mean by fire, it’s just, what on earth are you doing, setting mattresses on fire ?, are you mad or something ?”, I said . ” I saw two fire brigades, this morning, I had an idea that you would be up to something ”, I said .

” Yes, but you need to try it some time, Liam, it’s a right old laugh. ” I do it all the time, there’s a fuck load of mattresses out there, people chucking them out for free, they’re not even used yet , hah ponsies ”, Emmett said . ” It’s bloody brilliant, you know, proper gang shit ”, Emmett added .

” Yeah yeah, I know, come on, come inside, shut the door when you come in, yeah ?”, I said .

And oh yeah, that’s another thing . Emmett likes setting mattresses on fire . I don’t even know what he’s thinking sometimes . He just goes out, grabs a lighter and then he finds a mattress and then he sets it alight . He runs down the street, laughing his head off like an absolute nutter . Then I wake up at one in the morning and then I see two fire brigades outside the two houses down the road . Emmett’s a fucking loose canon . That’s not the only thing he does, he also does this thing where he gets a tennis ball and then he lights up this bit of string that’s attached to the ball and then he lets it sizzle and then he walks into a cafe and he chucks it at people . Him and Kevin used to go out and do that all the time . How the fuck does he get his satisfaction from doing shit like that, almost setting fire to the house and he’s fucking laughing, por, I’m glad I have nothing to do with that .

” Oi Liam, it’s pissing out here ”, Travis said .

” Yeah I know, Travis, Emmett told me just now, can’t believe we have to fight in this weather ”, I said .

” Eh, once it’s over with, it’s fine, excuses excuses, don’t make excuses, it’s not gonna solve anything ”, Emmett said . ” Oo, you know what I fancy, I fancy a cuppa, put the kettle on, will ya, Liam ”, Emmett asked .

” Yes, I’ll put the kettle on in a bit . Ok Everyone, group meeting, now, everybody in the sitting room ”, I said .

” Oh, what’s this now ?”, Dominick asked .

” Alright lads, did everyone get good sleep ?, feeling refreshed, how are we ?”, I asked .

” Yesssssss ”, everyone screamed. Everybody was pumped .

” We have to make sure that we’re ready, we’re not gonna mess this up, we don’t wanna let Johnny down, do we now ?”, I asked .

” We are ready though ”, Dominick replied .

” Yeah, I’m ready for whatever you throw at me, I was born ready, actually, you know what I’m saying ?, I was ready since the clock struck nine ”, Jamie said .

” Yeah, we’re ready for whatever comes our way ”, Travis said .

” Yeah, I’ve had enough of those geezers, not now though, they’re gonna have to deal with the big boys now, it’s about time we actually did something, that gang war was nothing compared to this ”, Dominick said, as he passionate to nip it in the bud .

” Yeah, I’m just ready to kick some ass, I’m gonna fucking, you know what I’m gonna do, I’m gonna fucking bust those bastards, I’m gonna properly fucking fuck them up ”, Kevin said .

” What time are they gonna meet us ?”, I asked Jamie, as I was trying to keep organized with the timings .

” I arranged it at about four oclock, if that’s gonna work, I don’t know if it will though, what if they turn up at the wrong place, they’re not clued up, you know, they’re daft ”, Jamie replied .

” I think it should be fine ”, Travis said .

” Yeah anyway, we need to challenge them to a rumble, we need to get even before it’s too late ”, Jamie said. ” We’ve had enough of their shit, I think it’s time we put a stop to all this, otherwise, one of them isn’t gonna come out alive, they’re all gonna be bleeding and I’m gonna be left ”, he said .

” Hey Jamie, have you ever been in a street fight ?”, I asked .

” I don’t know, man, a few fights, here and there, I’m not really much of a fighter if I say so myself, you end up in a scrap, you’re paralyzed from the waist down ”, Jamie replied .

” Nah, he likes to show off his muscles, haha, he’s got muscle mass and body bulk, he’s grum wick, I’m telling you ”, Dominick said, as he started laughing .

” When we go, try and stay in line, I don’t want you getting hurt, same goes for you, Travis, you’re the one who I have to look out for, you haven’t been in a fight since the age of 10, don’t even get me started on that ”, Jamie said .

” Oh shut up, that was long ago, there’s no need to bring that up, anyway, I’ve gotten better at fighting over time, how do you even know about that, Jamie ?”, Travis asked .

” You told me a few months ago, remember when we were drunk off our asses, you told me that you ended up in a fight with an eleven year old school boy, you have to remember it, I remember it, and I remember it very clearly as well ”, Jamie replied .

” Oh yeah, I forgot, anyway, I had a black eye and a cut, but I was okay ”, Travis said . ” I didn’t get drunk, I drank Fanta, that doesn’t get you three sheets to the wind, doesn’t it ?”, Travis asked .

” No it doesn’t, you didn’t drink Fanta, you ordered a VAT, you silly billy ”, Jamie said .

” IT’S FUCKING FANTA !!!! ”, Travis shouted .

” Of course it wasn’t, you ordered a VAT, a big fat VAT ”, Jamie said .

” What the fuck is a vat ?”, Travis asked .

” It’s like a vodka and a G N T mixed together ”, Jamie replied. ” That’s definetely what you had, you bloody silly billy, you Jovanka ”, Jamie said .

” Oh leave it out, it wasn’t my fault, besides, that was the only thing that was two quid, the rest of the stuff on the menu were skank ”, Travis said . ” The greatest Cockney fucking rip off, what a waster, what a fucking waster ”, Travis said .

” What happened to the bully then, did he learn his lesson ?”, Dominick asked .

” Oh yeah, he learned his lesson alright, I punched him in the groin and he was bleeding for a few weeks. that’s what happens when you mess with an Eagle, you have to face the consequences ”, Travis said .

” Yes, go on Travis, we are gonna have to watch out, you’re a little smack head, aren’t ya ?, a real rebel ”, Dominick said .

” Yeah, I’m not surprised anyway, in the school where my parents applied for me to go to, there’s always a fight going on, there’s a punch up going on every few minutes and the teachers are just as worse, school was shit, I don’t wanna go back, ever ”, Travis said .

” Oh really ?, what school did you go to ?”, Dominick asked .

” I used to go to Woodbury Down, that was my secondary school, getting there was a hassle, I had to take two buses, then from there, I had to walk, I was knackered by the time I got home ”, Travis replied .

” Oh bloody hell, I don’t blame you, Woodbury Down was awful, I remember when one of my friends got beaten to death there, the teacher used a stick, it was about six inches and by the time it hit him, there was no going back, you really had to think there. ” I used to go to a different school, it was sort out of town, didn’t really wanna have any association with that place, then I went to Woodbury Down and it’s even worse, I only went there because my parents moved houses, that’s why, I didn’t choose at all ”, Dominick said .

” Yeah, I’m just lucky that I’m not in that place anymore, thank goodness for that, innit ?, good riddance, even if the students don’t go to school, they send these teachers to their houses and they like grab them by the hair and they say ” When I say get out, you get out ”, and that scared the undying shit out of the kids, can’t imagine how awful that must have been, those geezers were mad, like proper proper eccentric ”, Travis said .

” Yeah I know, it’s bloody terrible, isn’t it ?, that’s just how things were in the 70s, grim, things have changed a lot since then ”, Dominick said .

” Yeah, if I had a teacher like that, I’d run a mile, forget it ”, Travis said . ” And I did, surprisingly, but he wasn’t that melovelant ”, he added .

” What happened after your time in that school ?”, Dominick asked .

” Dropped out, completely dropped out, didn’t wanna stay there, didn’t think I was safe enough, the teachers scared me, and the kids were too violent, so what did I do ?, well, I just went to the headmaster’s office and my dad just told the teachers that I was moving to a different location, and that was the only way to go ”, Travis replied. ” You’re not gonna believe this, but me and Dominick used to go to school together, talk to him about it, he’ll tell you a few things, innit Dominick ?”, he said .

” Yeah, I’d more than happy to, I’m the one who remembers most of it anyway ”, Dominick said .

” You know, in my old school, I once pulled a prank on one of my teachers and he went into the khazie and I followed him and then I put a hose pipe into his cubical and then I turned on the tap, all I heard was a scream and then the next thing I know, he runs out of the cat and dog with a temper and it was all over his clothes, he was soaking wet. The whole class laughed at him and just took the piss, then he found out that I was involved and he pulled out his num chucks and whipped me with them, he had some mad skills, I’ll tell you that, he was like some kung fu master, like silver fox from The Bastard Swordsman, but like really shit, bloody terrifying though, I could feel the ghost coming out of me, scared the fucking living daylights out of me ”, Kevin said .

” Haha, oh geez, that must have been crazy ”, Travis said .

” Hm, yeah it was, I couldn’t shit for days ”, Kevin said .

” Hey Dominick, remember when we used to go school together ?, that was mad, wasn’t it ?”, Travis asked .

” Oh yeah, that was a weird time, he was obviously in a different year, because Travis is like 19 and I’m older then him, I’m like 20 something, but um, yeah, that was weird, remember when we sabotaged a bus driver and then he ended up leaving us ”, Dominick replied .

” Yeah, oh god, what a time, I actually had a really fast heart beat, we were like running for the bus, but he didn’t come back for us, such a disappointment, I can’t believe that, man, I should have said something ”, Travis said .

” Wait, what happened, you sabotaged a bus driver, what ?”, Kevin asked .

” Ok so basically, we were walking to school and we stopped at the bus stop and he thought that it would be funny if we pranked the bus driver, so when the bus stopped in the bus lane, we walked up to it and then he goes ” Do you wanna get on ?”, and we just said ” Nah ”, and then he just drove off and we had to chase after it, but it didn’t stop, but when we got lost and when we needed it the most, he just snuck up his middle finger at us and drove off, that was the last time where I just lost faith in humamity, I’ve just had it with people, so cruel, man, I just wanted to raise my voice and shout ” What are you fucking doing, you cunt ”, Dominick explained .

” Exactly, man, like what the fuck are you doing, come back here or I bust your head open ”, Travis said .

” Oh my god, what a story, what were you lot even thinking ? ”, Kevin asked .

” No idea, we were just stupid kids back then and we didn’t have a brain until now, I just look back at it and I laugh my head off, instead of being adament about it ”, Dominick replied. ” But yeah, nobody knows how amazing it feels to be free, no teacher bossing you around and not having the fear of turning up late and getting your ass kicked in, honestly, I’m just glad that I’m out ”, Dominick added .

” Yeah, freedom is the best thing ever, man, at least you take comfort in doing your own thing and no one’s gonna slander you for it ”, Travis said .

” Did you ever re visit the school after your departure ?, like did you go back ?”, Kevin asked .

” Well, I just left it all behind, wanted to move on, but in Jamie’s old school, he was head boy. ” Hey Jamie, tell Kevin about your school days, he’s asking for it ”, Travis said .

” Oh ok, well, I used to go to Hackney Downs school, it was kind of weird but the teachers were alright, they used to always get the hump, but other then that, it was fine, um, I was the teacher’s pet, I was head boy, so I’d always go back and visit after my university graduation, I was head boy, I was a bloody, you know, like I would always talk to my teachers and stuff, but since I moved areas, it wasn’t really at the top of my list, but I still visit from time to time, how about you, Travis ?, do you have any memories of what it was like in your school ?”, Jamie asked .

” Um, my teacher just hated kids, I just couldn’t wait to go home, I always had to keep looking over my shoulder, cause I felt breathing on my neck, it was almost as if the geezer was standing right behind me and if I turned around and looked at him the wrong way, I would see my teacher standing there with a 10 inch wooden stick, yeah, mad times, but the weight has been taken off my shoulders. ” There was one thing I learnt though, and that is, you don’t realize you’re in the good old days until you leave them, that’s exactly what it is, I just miss being a naive kid, now I’m 19, almost 20, time’s moving too fast, where has it gone wrong, Dominick ?, what’s happening to us ?”, Travis asked .

” We move on, innit, that’s life, you can’t stay young forever, that’s what life is like, I guess, you’re born and then you live and then you die, that’s just how it is ”, Dominick said .

” I know, I just wish I did it better, I wish spent more time with my mum and my dad, it’s almost like they were dust, they were here, one day and they were gone, the next, god only know how I’m gonna move on from all that ”, Travis said .

” You’re doing alright, man, really ”, I said .

” But yeah, I also heard this story, where there was this thing following an incident with my old Maths teacher, he was menacing, he used to always knock a few teeth out and what he used to do, was he used to hit you if anybody talked over him, and once, a kid sweared at him and then he said ” You’re down to the final straw, my son, one more of those and you’ll be in that window over there ”, and in that moment in time, the kid was sweating non stop and he was terrified and the kid didn’t even do anything, the teacher just lost his shit and then he ripped the dread locks out of his head, there was blood all over the floor, the kids were horrified, they were screaming and shit like that. After that, the head master just had enough, he was vexxed, I’ve seen a geezer so vexxed in my life, so he decided to step in and he did a pledge to get rid of him and firing him didn’t even do anything, so he just shot him, there and then, sent a hit man and everything, proper gun, you know, killed him with one shot, totally a gonner ”, Travis explained . ” I know, it’s fucking mad, the kid was only asking for a pen, he’s fucking mad, he is ”, he said .

” Woah, shit, that made the hairs on my neck stand up on one end, that did, why would somebody do that to their student, it’s beyond me, and what’s scary, is that there are still millions of those phycopathic teachers around, teaching the kids to be little versions of themselves, running around like mini Hitlers. ” I’ll tell you a little story about when I was in Woodbury Down and we had drumming class and let me tell you, I had the most phychopathic teacher, this geezer was about 1o stone in weight, so he’d always turn up in a white vest and a red bandanna, stinker, but yeah, I don’t even know, the students would just stare at each other with confusion and he would just give us the death stare and he’d bring an extra stick, just in case the drum sticks weren’t hard enough and that it wouldn’t produce much sound, but anyway, once, in one of our lessons. One of my old mates thought that one of the kids was a drum, he was so delusional at the time, there was something wrong with him, honestly, fucking hell, but um, the kid just wouldn’t stop, so the teacher put his guard down and he whacked the kid over the bonce with his stick, and my friend had to have undergoing brain surgery, also had a loss of memory, things were really foggy, couldn’t remember most things ”, Kevin said .

” Oh wow, that’s mad, I feel so sorry for the kid, my heart bleeds, imagine having memory loss at such a young age, the teacher is a legitimate phychopath, a proper nostra fucking darmas. ” So, what happened to the teacher then, is he still around ?”, Dominick asked .

” Yeah, he lives in Australia now, has a dog as well, yeah, he’s doing alright, you know what, he actually called me, last month ”, Travis said .

” Get out ”, Dominick said as he didn’t believe him .

” Yeah, he just called me, he was like ” Hi, how are you doing ?” and it was so weird, the person who scared the undying shit out of me, became a personal friend of mine, who I now keep in touch with. He appears to have a new life now, found some bird, got married in 1982, it’s crazy if you think about it, cause when they start, they have this sort of hatred against the students then all of the sudden, they change, and teachers like them, it’s weird but oddly fascinating ”, Travis explained . ” But yeah no, he’s a lovely geezer, he is, he’s a nice geezer ”, he added .

” Yeah, he sounded like an absolute nut case at first, then suddenly, I started to realize that there was more to him, other then an angry man who’s got the hump and someone who shouts all the time, he was more then a monster that attacks everyone who would dare to go near him, you know, it’s funny how people change, it’s not like how I remember him at all, it’s weird ”, Travis said .

” Yeah, he sounds nice now, he’s not mad anymore, which is good, isn’t it ?”, Kevin said .

” Yeah, but I’m still scared of him, that will never change my standards, haha ”, Dominick, Jamie, Travis and Kevin started laughing .

” Hm yeah, get out of here, you know what I’m saying, you maniac ”, Kevin said .

” Hm yeah, you know what, I totally forgot the last time I was home, like, think about it, yeah ?, when was the last time you’ve actually been home, like not here in this house, but in the house with your real parents, the ones who gave birth to you. I just realized that I haven’t even been home, I mean, why would I anyway ?, my parents aren’t around anymore, so there’s no point, really, it just makes you think, doesn’t it ?, just ask yourself every once in a while ”, Travis said .

” Yeah, I haven’t even been home since last September, can’t remember the last time I changed my pants ”, Kevin said .

” Oh leave it out, Kevin, stop talking about your bollocks ”, Dominick said .

” Hey guys, remember what happened, yesterday, when we did a runner in that wharehouse and we ended up chasing leo around ?”, I asked .

” Yeah, that was mad, oh well, Leo deserved it anyway, that bent cunt ”, Travis said . ” If only he wasn’t bent, cause he’s as bent as an iron bob, that one  ”, he said .

” What, if only he wasn’t what, what did you say ?”, Jamie asked .

” No, I said, if only he didn’t live in Kent, cause he lives in Kent, innit ?, the geezer lives in Kent ”, Travis replied .

” He doesn’t live in fucking Kent ”, Jamie said . ” Who lives in fucking Kent ?”, Jamie shouted .

” Leon does, innit, that’s where he lived for most of his life, before he came here, that is ”, Travis said .

” No, Leon doesn’t live in Kent, you fucking Jovanka ”, Jamie shouted . A few minutes later, everybody started getting ready for the rumble, so they all gathered around in the sitting room with their arms crossed . Looking like some demented mob. That’s something what The Rejects would do and usually, we take the piss when they do that, then again, we’re here, doing it as well, typical . What kind of fuckery is this, I have no idea . I just wanted to make it a little bit more exciting, otherwise it’s just gonna be dreary as fuck, I just wanted to set the scene. Create some back round noise, that’s all . I’m not comparing us with the Rejects, cause they’re fucking awful .

” Alright lads, that seems about it, I say it’s time to rumble, what do you reckon ?”, I asked .

” Yes, get in there ”, Emmett said .

” Yeah, let’s go ”, Jamie said and we went outside to face the gang . Kevin and Dominick were doing back flips off of cars, they were getting themselves prepared. We were all waiting in a line . Waiting for those geezers to get out of their Mustangs and motors and to walk up front and line up, like the rest of us . Carter’s lot turned up, the looks on their faces were just down right nasty. Their eyes were filled with hatred . They looked like they had so much shit in them. Jesus, the amount of shit you can find in one person is enough, let alone 6 or 7 other geezers . I’ve had enough of looking at them . I didn’t even speak to them yet. I just wanted to punch them, honestly. I couldn’t give a monkees . I couldn’t care less about going inside, I’d take their ties and I will shove them where the light don’t shine .

” Oh, so you came ?”, Logan asked, with a smirk on his face. He’s lucky I didn’t punch him in the boat face, he wouldn’t even have one anymore, I’ll make sure he fucking doesn’t, he ain’t walking away from me alive, I’ll fucking hammer him .

” Yeah, someone has to, it would be a right shame if you didn’t, wouldn’t it ?, someone has to make an effort ”, Jamie replied, with a confident mentality, a cockey behaviour, it’s to die for .

” Fair enough, fair enough, I’m just testing ya, I bet that you’re scared, you sure you’re not gonna piss your pants, like last time ?”, Logan asked .

” Haha, me ?, not a chance, I’d piss in your boat race, I would, I would make sure I do it in front of you ”, I said .

” Well, don’t, alright, it’s fucking embarrassing ”, Logan said . ” If you do, I’m not cleaning that shit up ”, he added .

” Yeah, other then that, I’ll fucking do you in, you Jovanka ”, I shouted. ” I’m not bloody scared of you, you joking ?, I’ll jump off a balcony and turn up with fucking jet pack and you”ll fucking run a mile, you porta fugos, fucking West Ham ”, I shouted, as I tried to bump in to confront him, but Jamie pulled me back. He was like, don’t even get involved, mate .

” No, we’re not scared ”, Jamie told him, as he tried to sound calm, but inside, he was filled rage . Yep, that’s Jamie for ya, a geezer that’s nice but he’s troubled with rage at the same time .

” Alright, lads, let the games begin ”, Logan said and the gangs started to fight each other until one of the gangs ran away in plain sight . You could see Emmett just getting stuck in, properly throttling all those geezers all at once . It’s like a super power of his, that explains why he’s a fucking loose canon .

” Is that really all you got ?, you shitters, come on then, come on then, show us what you got, throw a few punches, you useless gits ”, Emmett shouted, as he ran in half way.

We weren’t badly injured or anything . Maybe a little bit, we did have bruises and black eyes but we weren’t knocked out or anything . We were ok on the whole, not Travis though, he was lying faced down onto the concrete floor, there was a possibility that he got kicked in the head by one of those geezers, he had a severe concussion . He wasn’t unconcious or anything, but he was just confused and he didn’t know where he was. I told Emmett to go and check up on him, so he walked up to him and he picked him up, gently, he had a bit of blood on his face and because it was raining, the sheens of blood could show .

” Are you alright, huh, come on, get up, man, let’s get you in the motor, man, what happened, what did they do to you ?, those gits. ” Come on, man, let’s get you to the hospital ”, Emmett said and he picked him up and put him in the car . Then suddenly, a police man turned up, doing his daily duties, but you see, my friend got roughed up by a bunch of geezers and he needs to get to the fucking hospital, so can you fucking piss off, please, cheers .

” Where do you think you’re going ?”, the police man asked .

” Oh alright, governer, my mate has just been in the wars, he fell off his motorcycle, I’m just taking him to the hospital, you see ?”, Emmett replied . He was lying to the police man. That’s just typical Emmett, he mucks about and he has a laugh, until he gets a punch in the boat race, that is, but before that, it’s all jokes .

” Oh dear, how is he then ?”, the police man asked. He could clearly see that he was not okay .

” I don’t know, man, do I look like a doctor, what am I, doctor Drew ?, he looks pretty bad to me, I don’t know. ” I’d say he’s just badly bruised, but he needs to go to Homerton asap, is that alright, officer ?”, Emmett asked .

” Oh ok, as you were ”, the police man said and he just walked off and left them to do their own thing . Emmett’s main focus was to get Travis to the hospital, nothing else was on his mind, at least, for now anyway .

” Hah pisser ”, Emmett said under his breath and he carried on driving . ” What was he thinking, that geezer, where the fuck was he going, bloody wanker ”, Emmett said . ” It’s a 30 miles per hour motorway, what’s he doing, stopping me, puh, so, romance isn’t dead, man’s in love with his car, fucking car, you know ?, Jesus Christ, I thought I’ve seen it all, people are nut cases around here ”, Emmett said . He stopped laughing and joking and he then started weeping . Emmett was really worried and upset . Usually, he never cries and he hides his emotions, but this time, he was crying . A tear rolled down his eyes, one after the other. Travis didn’t say a word . He wasn’t aware that Emmett was sitting opposite side of him, crying his heart out . He probably would have hated it. He can’t stand seeing people cry, it reminded him of home, somehow .

” If you were smart like me, we wouldn’t even be in this mess, if you were smart like me, you wouldn’t get hurt . You should never have ran over to those kids, man, if you get tough like me, you don’t get hurt. You better wise up, man, you better wise up, and nothing can touch you, man. You should have stayed with me, what are you fucking doing, going down there, are you mad ?, they are dangerous, those geezers, man, we don’t know who they are. Look after yourself, Travis, I’m telling you, you’re young, still, you don’t wanna get roughed up on the streets like that, you have to think from now on, yeah ?, make better choices . Don’t even scare me like that again. I don’t want you ending up like me, enough damage has already been done, I wish I could go back and change it, stop those things from happening. My life’s flashing before my very eyes. I just wanna be normal, I can’t do this any longer. I hope that John’s alright. Will the poor boy even remember me ?. Ahhh god help him, ahhh bastards ”, Emmett shouted and he hit the steering wheel with anger and fury . It was pronounced that The Eagles won the fight. They were chanting and jumping everywhere. They celebrated their victory . Yeah that’s right, they did it for Johnny .

” Oy oyoyoyoyoy yooorrrr, The Eagles are coming home, it’s coming home, yeahhhhh ”, Everyone chanted .

” Fair play, fair play ”, Jacob said .

” I win, you lose, I’m the winner ”, I shouted .

” Yeah yeah yeah, piss off, you working class prats ”, Jacob said and he walked off .

” ay, nice one, lads ”, I said . When Emmett arrived at the hospital, he was carrying Travis and he put his arms around him because he couldn’t walk. He was in a bad state as well, the poor geezer. He was like a bird who didn’t realize he was in a cage until he tried to fly. He was just stuck. A boy who tried to fly but couldn’t . Emmett checked in to the room where Johnny got admitted to and he was talking to the nurse .

” Is he gonna be alright ?”, Emmett asked .

” I’m sure he’ll be okay, just need to keep him in for two days to see if his injuries heal, but in the mean time, we can only hope for the best ”, the nurse replied and she left the room to go and deal with something . Then, I came in the room as fast as I could. From where I was standing, Johnny looked awful, he had bruises all over his body and his face .

” Sorry, there was some chaos out there, it’s absolute bedlum out there, um, how’s everything going ?”, I asked, as I stood near the door. Emmett had a worried look on his face . He was concerned, I could tell that it’s gonna be bad news just by looking at his face, his face says it all . I’d like to think that Johnny will be okay, he’s a little fighter, that one. He’s come this far. He can’t just die now .

” It doesn’t look good, man, we’re just waiting for the results, we were here all night, yesterday, didn’t leave his bed side until the nurse told us to ”, Emmett replied .

” Ok, he better be okay, he better be, I’m not watching little old Johnny slowly die on his death bed, alright ?, I can’t do this, man, I don’t like this, you know ?, Johnny’s hurt and I don’t like it, ehhhh ehhh ”, I said and I started crying . I just couldn’t bare it. Times are changing too fast. Life’s flashing before my very eyes. We went home . Travis was still troubled by Johnny’s accident. He thought about it all night and he couldn’t sleep . He keeps getting hilucinations and night sweats. I keep telling him that it’s gonna be okay, but he just doesn’t listen to me, now I just don’t know what to do, I’m helpless. I don’t know how to cope, I’m driving myself mad .

” Did you hear anything from the nurses ?”, Travis asked .

” No, we’re still waiting, they’re taking quite long to get them out, but by the looks of things, Johnny doesn’t look too good, looks like the bunch of kids kicked him in the head quite badly, it’s possible he could of cracked his skull open or something, I bloody hope not, but it might be ”, I replied .

” How long is he gonna stay in the hospital for ?”, Travis asked .

” I don’t know, man, see that’s the thing, he might never get discharged, I don’t know what I’m gonna do, what if he dies ?, then what ?”, I said as I started getting more and more worried .

” He won’t, I’m sure he won’t, he can’t ”, he replied, as he looked at me and he assured me that he’d be okay, but I couldn’t believe him. It was the sweet smell of doubt lingering around and it’s probably here to stay .

” Yeah, touch wood, he’d come out of the hospital in good condition and he’d recover from his injuries, even if he has a wheel chair or crutches, it doesn’t matter, as long as he’s here with us, I wouldn’t want anything more, nothing more, nothing less, but we just have to see how things go ”, I said . Meanwhile, Dominick and Jamie were having a chat. They were recalling the first time they ever met Johnny. It was a walk down memory lane for them, talking about him, helped hide the pain of seeing him suffer .

” Oh my god, this is Johnny’s favourite song, I remember John telling me that this was his favourite song, he used to always turn up on my doorstep and sing this song. I just remember seeing his face through the spyhole, that smile, the boy had a lot to give, you know ?, hm, poor geezer, I just hope he makes it out alright ”, Dominick said .

” Yeah, the 5th Dimension, Up Up And Away, yeah, he used to love this song, he always used to say to me, he goes ” You alright, Jamie ?, don’t let anyone mess with you, alright ?, if some mug comes along and starts trouble, come and find me, if they do, then tell me, I’d go and deal with them for you ”, yeah, he had a heart of gold ”, Jamie said .

” Hm. ” This was his favourite song, I remember him telling me that he had the LP of this. It was skank but por, it was one hell of a song. I can just hear him singing it now, very faint in the four walls of this house. Listen, that’s the sound of an angel singing. ” Would you like to ride in my beautiful balloon, would you like to ride in my beautiful balloon ?, we could float among the stars together, you and I, oh we can flyyyyyyyyyy, we can flyy, up up and away in my beautiful, my beautiful balloon ”, Dominick sang and he started crying shortly after . ” Oh Johnny, please, man, please be alright, kid ”, Dominick said as he put his face in his hands .

” Dominick, he’s gonna be okay, you know ?, I know he will, this isn’t like John at all, he’s a fighter, that one, he’s got thick skin ”, Jamie said .

” What if he isn’t though ?, oh god, now I’m doing it again. Look at me, over compensating again, like I always do, every time ”, Dominick said .

” Why are you like this, Dominick ?, don’t beat yourself up, you must be positive, look on the bright side, we all know that Johnny’s gonna recover from whatever he has, let’s not end it on a bad note, shall we ?”. Anyway, Johnny said that if whatever happens to him, he wants life to carry on like normal, life’s chaos, it’s always chaos, but you see, that’s what he wants, he wants life to go back to normal, without him, if you put it that way ”, Jamie said .

” I know Jamie, it’s just, I’m so sick and tired of looking on the bright side, every time I think positively, something bad happens, then bang, we’re back to square one. Taking one step forward and then you take five steps back. That’s life, that’s how it goes ”, Dominick said . ” It’s a cruel world out there, man, no one cares, it’s a dog eat dog world, it’s every man for himself. Nobody cares but us, we have to look out for each other, if we stick together, then everything will be alright ”, Dominick said .

” Hm, you know, I was in the hospital, the other day and I saw his hand pushing up against the glass thingy me bob, he wants us there, you know, he wants us there so bad ”, Jamie said, as he was tearing up . ” He needs us, you know ?, and god forbid, something happens to us and we won’t make it, he’ll die alone, arghhh, I can’t do this, man, I can’t do this, he won’t even remember our names, what are we gonna do, Dominick ?, I think that this is the end of us, this is the end of The Eagles ”, Jamie said .

” I guess so ”, Dominick said .

” Man, he must be scared in there, by himself in that hospital, no human contact, lying on that bed, knowing that you might be gone tomorrow, it’s terrifying, man, I can’t think about it, it hurts ”, Jamie said .

” Hey Jamie ?, do you remember the first time we met Johnny ?, do you remember that ?”, Dominick asked .

” Yeah, I remember, yeah, he turned up on my doorstep and he had his suitcase, full of clothes, it wasn’t even closed properly, the bloody zip was half open, I’m guessing he just got kicked out of the house by his mum and dad, and um, he just stood there, with a big smile on his face and at the time, I had no idea who he was, I was like ” Who is this geezer standing outside my house ”, and um, we had a chat and I guess from then on, we just clicked. Now he’s one of my best mates. I didn’t even think it was that possible for two young geezers to connect that easy, we just did, almost instantly, yeah, it’s mad . Yeah, those were the good old days, now um, it’s kind of all over the place, but he was great, he was. He was larger then life, that kid ”, Jamie said .

” Yeah, he was great, he was ”, Dominick said . Then suddenly, Jamie started crying. ” What’s wrong, Jamie ?”, Dominick asked .

” Yeah, it’s just, I fear the worst for Emmett. He is Johnny’s best mate and if he dies, then I have a feeling that he’s not gonna take it the right way, I know Emmett, it’s not for the faint hearted, I fear the worst for Emmett, I really do ”, Jamie replied .

” Oh god ”, Dominick said and he started crying as well, it wasn’t that long before both of them started . ” We’ll be alright, Jamie, we’ll find a way, we always do ”, Dominick added and they hugged each other . Emmett, Travis, Dominick and I went out for a walk, we needed some fresh air. Along the way, I suddenly got a phone call, I was so worried that I just couldn’t hold my phone, my hands were too shaky, it felt like my phone was gonna slip out of my hands any minute . You know that feeling you get when you know that something bad is gonna happen, that’s exactly what I was feeling at the time. I answered the phone .

” Hiya, yeah, speaking ”, I said .

” Hi, this is Ms Stevens, one of the nurses from Homerton hospital, you better come quick, Johnny’s dying ”, the nurse said, as she had something that sounded like bad news .

” Er shit, shit shit shit, oh god, oh no, no no no no, no ”, I said, as I felt my heart sink. Travis was concerned, he could tell that something was wrong . But he didn’t know what .

” Liam, what is it, talk to me, Liam, are you there ?, what’s wrong ?”, Travis asked as he saw me freeze in shock. He was very persistant, he was waiting for me to respond, but I just couldn’t speak .

” It’s the nurse, she wants us to head to the hospital, she has some news about Johnny, she says that he’s dying, she needs us there, doctors orders ”, I replied as I was slurring my speech .

” Ok, it’s Homerton, isn’t it ?”, Travis asked .

” Yeah, I think so, come on, let’s go ”, I said .

” I don’t even know what’s going on, man, I’m fucking clueless ”, Dominick said .

” Dominick, leave it out, will ya ? ”, I said .

” Do you wanna borrow the motor ?”, Travis asked .

” Yeah, nice one, cheers, man ”, Travis replied. ” Come on, let’s speed this up a bit, yeah ?”, I said and we got in Travis’s car and drove off . We arrived at the hospital in one peace. I rushed in as quick as possible .

” Doc, what’s going on ?”, I asked .

” Johnny’s got something to tell you ”, she replied .

” Ok, where is he ?”, I asked her .

” Oh, he’s just in the room on the left, it’s door 23 ”, she replied .

” Door 23, got it, right okay, cheers ”, I said and I made my way to the next room. I entered the room as quiet as possible . I didn’t want to disturb the other patients in the other rooms .

” Johnny, what’s going on, man ?”, I asked with a quiet, gentle voice. Johnny was in a really bad state, probably even worse then he was on the day of the accident, he was badly injured to the point where he couldn’t speak anymore .

” Hey Liam, how’s it going ?, you alright, yeah ?, you’ve come to see me, you’ve come to see me, ain’t ya ?, how are ya ?”, Johnny asked .

” Not bad, how are you feeling ?”, I asked .

” Still very sore, my whole body is gone, I don’t even think I’ll be able to walk again, I even forgot what it was like to be able to stand up on my own two feet ”, he replied. As you could see, he had pain in his eyes. I still had hope, I wasn’t giving up just yet. Us lot ain’t quitters.

” You’ll be okay, you can’t die now, we need you here with us, alive and well, we do ”, I told him .

” I can’t predict anything, Liam, if I die, I die, but I don’t want to go, I always used to talk about killing myself all the time back then, I don’t wanna die now, it ain’t gonna be long enough, 16 years ain’t gonna be long enough. I was only born yesterday. But I’d rather die a hero then live long enough to see myself become a villain, so just let me go, but I’ll be okay, don’t worry about me, I’ll be fine . Nothing will keep us together now, but I’ll still be with you ”, Johnny said .

” Yeah, but don’t say that, never say the word Die, John ”, I said. Then, the rest of the gang came in . ” Oh, you guys made it ”, I said .

” Yeah, man, how is he, how’s Johnny doing, man ?”, Emmett asked with a scared facial expression .

” Not so good, man ”, I replied, as I was being honest .

” Hey John, we beat the Rejects, man, they ran out of the lot, you should of seen them, man, Jacob absolutely shat himself, running like a woman ”, Emmett said . ” You had to be there, really, it was a right old laugh ”, he added as he sat even closer to Johnny by his bed side.

” That must have been fun, I wish I was there instead of being in this place, I would have nothing to lose, those geezers are like sponges ”, Johnny said as he spoke quietly .

” Yeah, those geezers are lunatics, man . ” Did you hear about all that stuff in the newspapers, all that stuff about you being a hero, it’s everywhere now, and you did it, that was all you ”, Emmett said .

” Yeah, I’m glad that the kids got home safely, that’s all I wanted, I cared about that more then anything else in this world ”, Johnny said .

” Yeah, and you did a bloody good job of it as well, everyone was shocked, even the paramedic was shocked, you took everyone by surprise, you did ”, Travis said .

” Yeah, but look at me now, I’m in hospital, I don’t know how long I have left, I could be gone by tomorrow afternoon ”, Johnny said .

” Yeah, listen, man, we’re gonna get you out of this place when you recover, you’re gonna be okay, just give it a few days, you’re in good hands, now, I think it’s best if you get some rest, we’ll talk later, alright ?”, Emmett said .

” What if I don’t wake up, I don’t want to fall asleep, I’m scared, man ”, Johnny said .

” You’re not gonna die, Johnny, you’re gonna be fine, I’m sure of it, you’re a champion, you show this terrible place who’s boss ”, Emmett said .

” You guys should have greased my hair before the brawl, it’s getting thick, man, I bloody slid across the floor and almost split my head open, I did ”, Johnny said .

” Haha, Yeah, I guess that some things just don’t change, do they ?”. Yeah, you’re gonna be alright, man, just give it some time to recover, you’re gonna get better, you’re gonna be a whole new man, you’re gonna be a true champion. Don’t let those bastards get the best of you, alright ?”, Emmett said . ” I’m worried about you, man, look at you, it’s all over your body ”, he added .

” Emmett, am I still breathing ?, is my heart still beating ?”, Johnny asked .

” Johnny, what’s that got to do with anything ?, why are you asking me if your heart is still beating, I don’t understand, is everything alright ?”, Emmett asked .

” I know, but is my heart beating though ?”, Johnny asked .

” Yeah ”, Emmett replied .

” Well then, that means that I’m still alive, aren’t I ?. I’m fine, Emmett, don’t worry, you’re scaring me now ”, Johnny said .

” I’m not trying to scare you, Johnny ”, Emmett said .

” No but you are, you’re scaring me. Don’t worry, Emmett, seriously, I’m fine. You’re just gonna make yourself sick at the end of the day, you get mentally ill like that, it’s not good, stress ”, Johnny said . ” I’m alright. ” I’m still here, I’m still here ”, he said .

” Yeah, you’re gonna live, alright ?, don’t worry ”, I said . Johnny was giving us the indication to say that he wanted to talk to Emmett. We had to let Johnny talk to him .

” Emmett, I think he wants to talk to you, man ”, I said . Emmett opened his ears and he listened to him .

” What is it, Johnny ?, I’m all ears ”, Emmett said .

” Emmett, look after yourself, man, I’m telling you now, look after yourself, don’t let yourself go astray. We’re on this earth for a short amount of time, you might as well use up all your time doing the things you wanna do, look after yourself . We don’t know what will happen from here, I don’t know if I will be here, tomorrow morning but whatever happens, I just want you to know that I’ll be alright. Carry on living life normally, don’t worry about me, I can assure you that everything will be fine ”, Johnny said . ” I don’t want you to worry, be happy, be kind, be Emmett, alright ?. We all know that I’m not gonna be here for long, by the looks of things, and you’re gonna die as well, we’re all gonna at some point in our lives, nobody lives forever, but Gordan Bennett, wouldn’t it be brilliant if we did. We’re all gonna die some day, but life goes on, Emmett. Whatever happens, life does go on, I want you to be happy, Emmett, don’t let things bog you down cause it’s just not worth it, it really isn’t . I want you to look after yourself, look after them, they’re there for you, man, they’ll do whatever it takes to keep your chin up, make the most of them, because they’re not gonna be around forever. And, you know, I’m not gonna be here for long either, but just let me go, let me go ”, Johnny said .

” Johnny, please, don’t do this to me, I never thought I’d be here, but here I am. You’re not going anywhere, Johnny, don’t be silly . Please don’t leave me, man . I know that I’ve only known you for three years but for what it’s worth, you can’t leave us now, you have so much ahead of you, John.  You could get a job, oh goodness, a job, you can paint fucking buses or, or a singer, you could be a singer, you can raise the fucking halls with your voice. All the things you could have done if you were still here ”, Emmett said .

” I am still here, Emmett, I haven’t gone anywhere, man, what are you talking about ?”, Johnny asked .

” Yes I know, Johnny, but you’re not gonna be here for long, you need to be alive and well, not like this, you look like a fucking skeleton. I can’t look at you, man, it’s almost like you’re gonna shrivel into white dust ”, Emmett said as he covered his face with his hands . ” I don’t want you to go, man, all I want is to be with you, together, I don’t wanna say goodbye. ” If I could, yeah ?, I would bust those geezers heads open, I’ll go down there and I’ll fucking kill them, that’s what I’d do . I couldn’t give a monkees. I can’t say goodbye, man, it’s too early. It just doesn’t feel right ”, Emmett said .

” Emmett, please, just do it for me, just do it for me, think about hard it is to be in my position, lying on a bed, not being able to move, being in the darkness, it’s hard, but I don’t want you to suffer as well, me suffering is enough already, I don’t wanna think about you lot being in pain as well ”, Johnny said .

” Just whatever happens, yeah, we don’t forget about us, we are all here for you, man, and we’ll hate it if anything happens to you. Even I can’t sleep at night, cause I’m worried sick about you, worried if this will be the last time we’ll see you. We are Eagles, we go together. We don’t accept defeat just because someone cunt tried to ruin our lives, but I can assure you that you’ll be absolutely fine, a new day is on the horizon, and when that day finally dawns, we will be here, we will be here when you come out of hospital, ready to welcome you back into our gang, ready to welcome you home, cause home is where the heart is ”, I said .

” That’s right, man ”, Emmett said .

” Will you come and visit me again tomorrow ?”, Johnny asked .

” We’ll come in every day until you are better, alright ”, I replied .

” Yeah, there’s nothing else to do at home anyway, so we’ll come and see you ”, Emmett said .

” Emmett, will you hold my hand ?”, Johnny asked and he started crying .

” Yes, of course, man, and I won’t let go, I promise ”, Emmett replied. Emmett was crying as well and he held his hand tight .

” Oi, Gordon Bennett, don’t squash the poor thing, fucking hell, be gentle with him, for god sake ”, Kevin said . ” Alright, Cow hands, that’s enough ”, he said. Travis started laughing. But suddenly, Johnny fell unconcious for a few minutes .

” Johnny, Johnny, are you there ? ”, Emmett asked, but there was no response. I could feel tears rolling down my face, so did everybody else . Emmett didn’t let go of his hand until the nurse told him to leave .

” Is he alright ?”, Travis asked the nurse .

” Yeah he’s alright, he’s just unconcious, it’s the treatment, it’s one of the side effects, we’ll keep an eye on him for a little while, we’ll call you back ”, she replied .

” Ok. ” Fucking hell, scared the fucking shit out me ”, Travis said . On our way out, I left the book Gone With The Wind on the table next to Johnny’s death bed. However, it was almost too late to give him the book but I made a promise that I couldn’t break, especially because of the state that he was in, I didn’t wanna let him down . We sat in the waiting room. It was really quiet. There were a few people in the hospital, mainly patients getting weekly check ups and having operations . When I looked at Dominick, he was devestated and purely worried . He was still recovering from his rumble injuries, and partially because he got punched and kicked countless times, I gave him the look, the face that displayed the symptoms of fear and uncertainty .

” Do you think that he’ll pull through ?”, Dominick asked .

” Yeah, I’m sure he will, he’s tough as old boots, that Johnny Branson ”, I replied . I only told him that because I didn’t want him to worry, no matter how worried he already was. Then, we got called back in, Emmett had a chat with the nurse again, desperate to know .

” How is he, how’s Johnny ?”, he asked .

” He’s okay, he’s just getting his therapy ”, she replied .

” Ok. Would you mind if we went in ?, I don’t wanna cause any disturbance or anything ?, cause you know, he’s getting his therapy, I don’t wanna bug him ”, I asked .

” Oh, don’t be silly, love, I’m sure he’ll appreciate visitors, he’s been in there all by himself the whole time, I’m sure that he’ll love to see you ”, she replied and we entered the room .

” Hi Johnny, see, I told you I’d pop in to see you again, how are you doing ?”, I asked as I looked at Johnny .

” Hey nurse, have I finished getting therapy yet, it’s been going on for a few days, you know, we’ve already gotten down to the last batch and it’s not even the afternoon yet, starting to feel a bit queasy, I am ”, Johnny said. But the nurse wasn’t in the room, there was no way he was talking to me, there was no way . It was like walking into an empty room, there’s no life in there at all, it was just empty, and it was dark .

” Johnny, this is Liam, your mate, I’m not the nurse. Do you remember me ? ”, I asked . I was puzzled . It was almost as if someone cut the chord between us, that the dynamic and the chemistry just slipped away from us. It was no longer the Johnny that I knew. He just disappeared. He was no longer here .

” No, I don’t think so ”, Johnny replied, I just completely lost it .

” Johnny, how can you not remember us, we are your mates, we’re here, man, we’re right here, talk to us ”, I said, and I layed my hand on the bed side railing .

” Sorry, I don’t know you, I can’t talk to you, my whole life, I’ve been told not to talk to strangers, please stay away from me as much as you can, please, don’t touch me, get off, get off of me, you hear me ?, I said get off ”, Johnny shouted .

” We are not strangers, Johnny, we are your mates, this isn’t you, Johnny, why happened, why are you acting like this, I don’t understand ”, I asked .

” I’m sorry, I just can’t, alright ?, you’re a stranger and I can’t talk to strangers, it’s a sin, I’m sorry ”, Johnny said .

” Oh please no ”, I said, as I leaned up against the wall in deep deep sorrow. I just felt myself go .

” Johnny, what about me ?, do you remember me ?”, Emmett asked him .

” No, you don’t look familiar, who are you, I’ve never met this geezer in my entire life ?”, Johnny asked .

” This is Emmett, come on Johnny, don’t tell me that you forgot about us ”, Emmett said .

” I’m sorry ”, Johnny said .

” So, this is what you get, huh ?, this is what you get for helping people ?. Come on, Johnny, don’t die, please don’t leave me, I’m so alone, no Johnny, don’t die on me no ”, Emmett said . ” If I got on my knees and I pleaded with you, not to go, but to stay in my arms, would you walk out the door, like you did, once before, this time, be different, please stay, don’t go, please stay, please stayyyy ”, Emmett sang and he started crying . ” Please, Johnny, please stay ”, Emmett said .

I took one last look at Johnny as he laid unconcious, he looked absolutely lifeless. I never wanted Johnny to die, he never deserved it. Now that Johnny’s dead, the gang just isn’t the same anymore, it feels empty . Jamie, Travis and Kevin were sitting in the waiting room, they didn’t hear the news about Johnny yet. I had to go and break it to them. I walked out slowly. Kevin, Jamie and Travis were just waiting there . Dominick had to go home because he had to take care of something. I begged him to come and stay with us at the hospital but he just refused, he doesn’t like being in hospitals, he can’t handle it . So I was gonna tell him the news right afterwards .

” Well ?”, Jamie said. I froze and I had to spit my words out. Which wasn’t easy .

” He’s gone ”, I said. They were shocked and they started crying .

” What ?”, Travis said .

” No noooooo ”, Jamie said and he curled up into a little ball on the floor .

” Bless him ”, Kevin said . Then suddenly, Dominick turned up at the hospital and he wanted to see Johnny but it was too late, he was already dead, he just didn’t know it yet . He’s bitten off more then he can chew, the poor geezer .

” Alright, Dominick ?”, I said .

” Where is he, I need to see him ?”, Dominick asked .

” He’s in there ”, I said. He’s got a big storm coming . Dominick went to see Johnny in the intensive care unit . He looked through the glass stained window and he saw Johnny lying on his hospital bed. He didn’t even know that he was dead, so the shock catched up with him . Johnny was scared that he was never gonna wake up and he was right, and when he closed his eyes, we all knew from then on, that he was never gonna wake up. Dominick stood near Johnny’s hospital bed and sat there for a while . He started shaking him, trying to wake him up .

” Johnny, Johnny, wake up, Johnny, wake up, Johnny, Johnny, no, nooooo ”, Dominick shouted, as he shook him and tried to wake him up, hoping that he would awake, but he never did, he had already passed away. Dominick grasped the reality of Johnny’s death and he just ran out of the room. He then collapsed onto the floor and Jamie put his arms around him and started comforting him .

” It’s okay, it’s alright, it’s alright, I’m here now, Jamie’s here, it’s okay ”, Jamie said with a gentle voice .

” Ehhh, Johnny, man, ehh, he left us, man, he ain’t coming back ”, Dominick said .

” It’s alright, Dominick, he’s sleeping now, he’s sleeping, you see, he’s better now and he’s happy ”, Jamie said. Kevin, Emmett, Travis and I were leaning against the walls, crying our hearts out. A few minutes later, the nurse was speaking to us, she had the results but they came out way too late .

” They said, that it was some sort of brain tumor, some sort of eternal bleeding in the brain and he got diamentia . It rushed all the way to his brain. I’m really sorry, guys, I can’t imagine the pain you’re going through right now ”, the nurse said as she was also crying .

” Why do you bother helping people if you can’t save them, you just do this to kill them off, huh ?, you let them die, is that what you do ?, you wanna decrease the over population, do you ?, I know what you’re doing behind closed doors, you dodgy fuckers, you and the government. You wanna see people die, give them all sorts of shit, convince me otherwise . See, this is why I’m not voting for the fucking conservatives, the looney left, cause shit like this happens ”, Emmett said .

” I’m really sorry, sir, he was in quite a bad condition, we couldn’t help him, we did the best we could, his body just shut down, the poor thing. Oh well, at least he’s not suffering anymore ”, the nurse said .

” Yeah, of course he isn’t suffering, but we are the ones who suffer in the end. You dodgy shiteless fuckers, that’s what you are, fucking shambles ”, Emmett shouted . ” Hey you, yes you, get off the fucking phone, you cunt . Alice, Alice, get off the fucking phone, no I don’t want your fucking money, piss off , fucking ca cow nibs, bloody banchot”, he shouted.

” Hi, I’m Alysia ”, the receptionist said .

” Fuck off, Alysia ”, Emmett shouted and then he left the hospital in tears .

Johnny was taken out of the intensive care ward by the nurses. His mum watched them take his body away, she was in tears, she was in distraught . Even though she was harsh on him, she still didn’t like to see her son die, but Jesus, does anyone ? . Having said that she had a troubled childhood as well. Johnny was different, Johnny was tough, Johnny was unique, and it all comes down to one thing, and that is Eagle, cause it doesn’t matter if he passed away, he’ll still be flying high above the clouds, watching over his mates .

” Because Eagles never die ” .

End of chapter .

 

 

 

Kids On The East Side Of Town, Chapter 10, Gang War

{Warning, contains strong language and adult humor}

It was 1 in the morning, everybody was pretty much doing their own thing. Johnny was wandering around the house, not really sure what he wants, he’s just drifting along with a tumbling tumbleweed, I was getting changed, Travis was messing around with the microphone that he and Johnny found in the sitting room .

” Hey Kevin, come and have a look at this ”, Travis said . Kevin was so confused, the look on his face was absolutely priceless . I have no idea what he saw, it was nothing unusual, it’s just a microphone, he looked like he just witnessed a murder or something . And sometimes, you can’t figure out whether he’s joking or whether he’s serious . He’ll give you look that says ” What the hell are you doing ?”, that’s just Kevin, you can’t do much about it . Travis stood in front of Kevin, waving the microphone about, like he’s gonna do him in, using a stick of metal, yeah that’s really something .

” What the fuck is that ?”, Kevin asked, as he looked quite paranoid . I honestly don’t know what he saw, the man’s holding a microphone, not a knife or a bloody candlestick . Jesus .

” It’s a microphone, what do you think, pretty cool, huh ?”, Travis asked .

” Yeah, I don’t think you should hold that, those singers, yeah ?, they go completely awol and they wipe their asses on it ”, Kevin said .

” What the hell ?”, Travis said .

” Yeah, it’s bloody terrible, isn’t it ?, those filthy gits, they probably shit in them as well, not like I’ve seen them do it, but you know what I mean ”, Kevin said .

Travis was so disgusted. He secretly started to wipe his hands on his jumper. That’s pure paranoia. What on earth is Kevin on about, singers don’t shit on microphones, they do it in like litter boxes and buckets if they’re back stage, but as far as I’m concerned, that’s never really been the case . I feel sorry for Travis sometimes, he’s 19 and he’s exposed to all sorts of weird shit . Especially the sort of stuff that Kevin comes out with, he’s way worse then Emmett . At least Emmett knows what he’s saying sometimes, but Kevin’s just the exact opposite . Even I have no idea what he’s talking about, half of the time . It’s like try to get a Llama to speak, it’s impossible, cause if you do, it’s just gonna start talking utter nonsense and that space amount of time, you’re gonna think ” Is there an off button on this thing ?”. Kevin just finds anything and tries to explain it to Johnny and all the youngsters in the group, it’s absolutely mental sometimes . That microphone thing is false, I can already tell, I’m kinda curious to see how Travis handles this . Is it gonna be good or is it gonna be a stinker .

” I’m joking, I’m joking, geez, they don’t do that, that’s the last thing you’d want, er god ”, Kevin said .

” Oh well, thank god for that then, innit, I even tried to wipe my hands on my jumper, can you believe that shit ?”, Travis asked .

” Oh wow, did you ?, Oh shit, talk about cutting it fine, bloody hell ”, Kevin said .

” I can’t believe I fell for that, haha ”, Travis said, as he started laughing .

” Yeah, alright Travis, I need to go and do something in my room, I better get going ”, Kevin said .

” Wait, hold on, check this out, listen, ahhhh, ahhhh, arrrr, arrrrr ”, Travis sang .

” Ah bloody hell ”, Kevin said, as he tried to get away from Travis .

I was talking to Emmett, he came into my room and started talking to me about this article he found in the newspaper. The sentence started with ” Oh bloody hell, check out this geezer, look at this bozo, with his coat that looks like a sack of potatos ”, pretty much any sentence that starts with ” Oh bloody hell, look at this geezer ”, is gonna be interesting. Emmett always finds the weirdest stuff, then he bombards me with it, but it’s alright, cause it gives me something to talk about in the morning . But if it’s something shit, then I don’t want it .

” Oh bloody hell, look at this geezer, look at this bozo, wearing that coat, he looks like a sack of potatos, he looks like he works at a farm, innit, Liam ?”, Emmett asked .

” Hm ?”, I said .

” The geezer in the newspaper article, he looks like he works at a farm ”, Emmett replied .

” Oh yeah yeah, he does a bit, good eye ”, I said .

” I mean, who looks like that, the man looks like he hasn’t showered in years, he’s probably losing it as well, how much you wanna bet, his wife is driving him round the bend ?”, Emmett asked .

” Oh yeah, most definetely, yeah, it doesn’t take you that long to go mad, you can keep it together, then one day, Pkkkk, gone ”, I said .

” Yeah, it was definetely his misses, he couldn’t have gone mad all by himself ”, Emmett said .

” Are you sure that it was his wife, are you sure it wasn’t his neighbors or anything ?”, I asked .

” Nah man, man doesn’t look like he had people living next to him, he’s living in country bumpkin land, it’s just trees, a boat is the only thing you’ll see all day, no wonder why he went mad, I mean, it’s obvious, isn’t it ?”, Emmett said .

” What does it even say on the newspaper ?”, I asked ,

” It just says ” Mad Man Dead ”, somehow, this geezer went mad, done a runner, I have no clue, it could have been anything, really, you hear this sort of thing all the time in newspapers, it’s from Essex as well, those things happen all the time, Essex is really small and close confined, if you put more then five people in a room together, they’ll go mad, so that’s exactly what happened ”, Emmett replied .

” Yeah I suppose so, oh well, if the man had good innings, then that’s all what matters ”, I said .

” Yeah, one thing though, why’s he dressed like that ?”, Emmett asked .

” What do you mean, why’s he dressed like that ?, that’s how he dressed, you can’t do much about that, I’m afraid, I mean, the man’s dead, Jesus Christ ”, I said .

” I know, but why’s he dressed like he’s from the Bronx ?, they can’t see you like that, they’d beat you up if they saw you dressed like that ”, Emmett said .

” That’s just how things are, Emmett, you can’t do much about that, you’re not in charge of his wardrobe, the man’s wearing what he’s wearing, he probably had a serious case of wardrobe malfunction ”, I said .

” Yeah, ok, it’s fine, it could have been much worse ”, Emmett said .

” Wait a minute, let me see the newspaper, give it here ”, I said and Emmett gave me the newspaper . ” What do we have here ?. ” One minute, Emmett, this is an newspaper article from the 60s ”, I said .

” Yeah so ?”, Emmett asked .

” This has nothing to do with today, you’re reading about something that happened like 10 years ago ”, I said .

” Yeah well, everything was better 10 years ago, the news stories were way more interesting ”, Emmett said .

” Yeah, I see where you’re coming from, things were more interesting 10 years ago ”, I said .

” Is everyone awake ?”, I asked .

” Yeah, everyone’s up, I just checked, I saw Johnny in the kitchen, tried to climb into the fridge ”, Emmett replied .

” What, Johnny ?, what’s he doing hiding in a fridge ?”, I asked .

” I dunno, I told you, going mad . ” You know I’m going slightly mad, I’m going slightly mad ”, Emmett sang . ” I said to him, I said ” John, what are you doing, hiding in a fridge ?”, then he said to me, he goes ” Because there’s air circulation ”, and I’m like, ” Nah man, you’re going mad, Johnny, can you see, can’t you see ?”, I swear to god, we’re all going mad ”, he said .

” Sorry, Emmett, would you mind just waiting out there for a few minutes, I’m just taking care of a few bits and pieces ”, I said . This is another way of saying piss off, but maybe in a nicer way, since I don’t want to hurt his feelings . But he talks so much shit .

” Yeah yeah, no, of course, well um, see ya ”, Emmett said, and he left the room. Then he started shouting in the hallway.

” Johnny’s going mad, it’s the challenge man, trying to get into a fridge, mad ”, Emmett shouted .

I could still hear him a few miles away, talking about Johnny trying to climb on top of a fridge. I honestly don’t even know what he’s on about. When has Johnny ever tried to get into a fridge, I mean, anything could happen during the night . If it’s at 3 AM, it’s garanteed to be some weird shit. I’ve heard it’s an old wives tale, I’ve been told by many, but when you’re in a house with four maniacs, anything is possible . As far as I’m concerned, Johnny would never try and hide in a fridge, Johnny is clued up . He would never do something like that, or you know, unless he tried to hide away from something, like snoring and sleepwalking, I doubt that anyone has either of those things. I’ve come to the conclusion and I think that Emmett is a fantasist, he’s a proper loco loco maniac, loco loco phychopath. He smokes all sorts of shit, he doesn’t know what he’s on about, half the time. My fridge is about 30 feet in hight, how on earth did he manage to get up there ?. Even if he did do it, he would just be up there, singing Johnny Remember Me, it’s like John Leyton, a cash and carry version of John Leyton, one that can’t really sing, but just sings cause he’s demented .

A few minutes after I was done with being in my bed room, I went to go and see what Jamie was up to . Jamie was in his room, making another one of his tapes . He was sitting down on a stool, trying to do some baseline on his guitar, I assume he was trying to make some back round music. This time, he was actually making proper music, usually, he just hums shit and makes weird noises to try and add some music in the back round. I have no idea what the tape recording entailed, I think he can do all sorts of weird shit sometimes . I walked into his room and started talking to him, he was well occupied, doing absolute shite .

” Hey Jamie, what are you up to ? ”, I asked, as I leaned against the wall .

” Oh nothing, just making one of my tapes ”, Jamie replied .

” What, another one ?”, I asked .

” Well yeah, I make tapes, innit, that’s what I do for a living” Jamie replied .

” Nah, you don’t do this for a living, Jamie, let’s be honest here ”, I said .

” Yeah well, you either do this or you stare at the ceiling, that’s not how you spend your whole evening ”, Jamie replied .

” That’s a bit dramatic, innit, sounds like fun, doesn’t it, you either hum your fucking tapes or you watch yourself go slightly mad, those are some words to live by, you mincing cunt, you music man ”, I said . ” Where did you find the guitar ?”, I asked .

” I found it on the streets, it’s good as new, turns out, it’s a Marcus Miller, this thing plays a mean bit of bass, I mean, have you heard it ?, this thing goes way back, it’s like guitar hero kind of shit, you could bring the house down with this thing ”, Jamie said .

” Oh leave it out, when have you ever played the guitar, obee, you’re playing the guitar, Obee ?”, I asked .

” Well, it’s either now or never, it’s never too late to start, you know what I mean, I was walking down the street, the other day and I thought ” Now’s the time I learn how to learn the guitar ”, Jamie said .

” That’s very ambitious of you, learning a new instrument, that’s a good idea ”, I said . ” You see, I like this, but I don’t like that ”, I added, as I pointed at the tape recording .

” Well, do you wanna listen to it, trust me, you might like it, it’s not done yet, but you’ll be the first person to ever listen to it ”, Jamie said .

” Oh, I don’t think I’d want to, Jamie, nahhhh, don’t want it, don’t want it ”, I said . ” Nah mate, you’re well off, I’m not gonna listen to this fucking tape, whatever you put on it, I don’t care if it has a real baseline, if you don’t have nothing in the cam, you’ve got nothing in the cam, nah, not gonna put this thing on ”, I added . Then suddenly, Jamie pressed play on the tape recorder. When the tape started playing, I heard absolute horror . I have no idea what that was, it started with Jamie singing, sounding like he was three sheets to the wind, it was rockabilly hero or alchoholic pest, there was no way it was Rockabilly Hero, it was alchoholic pest, there’s nothing rockabilly about it . When Jamie’s singing stopped, then I heard some other geezer singing and shouting, that person sounded like me .

” Wait, is that me, it sounds like me, what the bloody hell am I doing in your tape recording ?”, I asked .

” It just ended up there, I must have recorded it by accident, but it’s okay though, because your part definetely makes it ”, Jamie said .

” Nah man, fucking, what is this ?”, I said .

” It’s good though, isn’t it ?, it’s a winner, this one, it’s one of those songs that will suddenly pop up on the radio, how about we do that, we should send it to some pirate radio station, they’ll love it, they’ll love this shit, they will, it’ll give them something to talk about, since they talk a lot shite ”, Jamie said .

” Nah man, we’re not sending that to the people of radio, we’ll blow up radio in the end, people will be traumatized, they’re never gonna wanna listen to music again, people are gonna listen to it and they’re gonna think ” Ohh, this is Erasure, but then they’ll hear wowowoww, pkkkkk, then they’ll think ” That’s not Erasure ”, I said .

” Don’t care what it is, as long as the song is good, then that’s all what matters, it’s my job to say whether something is music or not, and this is fucking music ”, Jamie said .

” How long are you gonna be doing this for, you’ve spent two hours making this tape, when are you gonna get out of your room ?”, I asked .

” Oh um, when I’ve finished making this tape, it’s only got a bit more left to go until I’m actually done, just have to tune out some back round noise, add more dread and continue to talk about space age pop music ”, Jamie said .

” Right ok, don’t get into it, the singing will live at the back of your mind, rent free, you’ll definetely go mad, one of these days ”, I said .

” Yeah yeah, who cares about being careful, you only live once, make the most of it while you still can, I’m gonna drown in dread and party all night, living in the vida locka, you know what I’m saying, everyone would like to get fucked, all night, just as much as I do, live your own life, fuck everybody else ”, Jamie said .

” Yeah yeah, at least I don’t have to listen to that song again ”, I said, then Jamie started playing that song again . That song is hell itself, it’s like listening to some geezer taking a shit and trying to do acapella . See, the thing is, I actually liked some of his tapes . There was one that I liked, it’s called Pop Man Flies Me To The Moon and for half of the song, it has a very poppy, evangelical like tune and then it ends with a very death metal, ACDC like ending . That one was okay, but there was this one, which was called Get Out, You Disgusting Tramp and it was absolute hell . The whole time, it had a recording of Jamie wearing a massive wig, the ones that men used to have in the regency times and the Georgian times and then he tried to bounce off a wall for like one hour, then for the rest of it, it just showed Jamie doing wood tappers and whilst he’s doing that, you could just hear Jamie humming in the back round . I sometimes question my existence and I just think ” Why on earth is Jamie making these crass tapes ?”. I’d say it’s a form of creativity but that sort of thing causes death sometimes . I would like to know everyone else’s opinions on this thing . Johnny would be really confused, Kevin would just laugh his head off, Dominick would have nothing to say, Emmett would look like he’s about to steal Jamie’s tape recorder and thrash it with his own ideas, which would be way worse then Jamie’s ideas, Emmett would start doing some weird shit and he’d probably get sectioned and Travis would probably just stay out of it . Everyone’s weird in their own ways . As I left Jamie’s room, I went to go and do other things . I’ve just had enough of his tapes, it was doing my head in.

Emmett was hanging around in Johnny’s room. They were just having a chat to pass the time . I couldn’t make out what Emmett was talking about, he’s always talking about times where he went mad in the street or a car park or something . Emmett is one of those geezers who would wake you up at 3 AM and threaten you with a pistol and he’s done that before, it’s not like he’s never done it before . I sometimes find myself at 1 in the morning with a gun to my head, no idea why it’s there in the first place, then I look around and I just see Emmett standing in the corner of the room, just laughing his head off . He’s a nutter, an absolute nutter, but he’s a cool geezer, we get along really well . Johnny was standing in front of Emmett as he was listening to him speak, I doubt he understood what he was saying .

” So yeah, this geezer came along, yeah, and I, I just wanted to punch him so bad, you know one of those things where, you just see some person, you haven’t met them yet, you haven’t even got to know them, you don’t know their name, you don’t know their personality, but it’s their face, their face just gives you the indication to say that they are idiots, like who does he think he is, walking around with his hands in his pockets, like who are you looking at, smug idiot, you know what I mean, you ever meet someone and you just think ” God, you salty, salty bastard, I wanna put my fist in your face ”, ”, Emmett said .

” Nah man, where do you find these people, Emmett, where do you find them, under a bridge ?, where do you find these people, in the multiverse ?”, Johnny said .

” No, it’s the Asylum verse, it’s not the multiverse, you don’t find thick people in the multi verse, you know what I’m saying, you end up there if you’re thick ”, Emmett said . ” Did I tell you about the time where I almost got in a punch up with a dust bin man ?, have I ever told you that story ?”, Emmett asked .

” Oh Geez, what, the story about you getting in a punch up with a dust bin man, nah, man, I could only imagine how that story is gonna end, either you getting thrashed with a dust bin and the dust bin man singing Bohemian Rhapsody whilst dragging you down a hill in a dust bin, singing Gallaleo down the bloody hill, no thanks ”, Johnny said .

” Nah, that’s not how the story goes ”, Emmett said .

” Is it not ?”, Johnny asked .

” No, absolutely not, that would be shit, nah actually, it ended with me pushing the dust bin man in the dust bin, it’s close enough, it’s like if the roles were reversed ”, Emmett replied .

” Hmmmmmm ”, Johnny said in a high pitched voice. ” You can’t do that to people ”, Johnny said .

” What, why not, he was being a git, he refused to clean up after himself, so I gave him a damn good thrashing, I thought I’d push him down the hill in a dust bin, it’s as good as it gets ”, Emmett said .”  He went ” Ahhhhhh, bloody hell, help me, please, help me ”, Emmett said, as he mocked the person .

” No, that’s not funny, Emmett, not funny, not funny at all ”, Johnny said, whilst he was a bit aggressive, suddenly .

” Let me tell you, I sent him packing, I gave him some wheels, that was enough to get him home, didn’t have a car, so, but I think I really hammered that, if I’m honest with you ”, Emmett said .

” No, that’s bloody bloody stupid, man, I mean, really, a dust bin, por, bloody hell, you need to up your game, mate ”, Johnny said .

” What, that was the least I could do, the first thing I could turn to was a dust bin, so that’s what I did, I was gonna punch him but then I thought, fuck it, that’s just shit, man’s gonna get up, eventually, might as well do something that will leave him shitting bricks ”, Emmett said .

” You know what, I’d love to see you do that, one day, I’d love to see you push a dust bin down a hill ”, Johnny said .

” Feel free to come and see me do that, I’d love to push a dust bin down a hill, I do that all the time anyway, I spend half my time doing shit outside, so yeah, come and see me do it, some time ”, Emmett said . ” I’d love to see idiotic people fuck themselves down a hill ”, Emmett added . Then suddenly, they heard really loud music coming from next door.

” What the fuck is this now ?, what’s all this racket ?”, Emmett said . ” Turn down the fucking racket, you bloody twat, bentrude bloody ”, Emmett shouted . ” Yeah nah, I have no idea what that was, man’s playing music down there, you know, the music is blasting through the fucking walls, you could hear it from down here ”, he said .

” Yeah, do you know who’s doing that, by any chance ?”, Johnny asked .

” I have no clue, oh do you know what, I think it’s Jamie, Jamie, man, him and his tapes, I think he’s going mad ”, Emmett said .

” I’m gonna go mad in a minute, let alone Jamie, he’s the one who’s doing it in the first place, I sometimes wonder what he’s doing up there, playing the guitar and making those tapes, you’d think this was a circus ”, Johnny said .

” So yeah, that’s what happened to the dust bin man, I mean, I do it all the time, when the dust bin men come and take out the rubbish, I do that thing and it’s absolutely hilarious, it’s a right old laugh, see, the thing is, yeah, is that he looked like he pissed his pants, imagine that in a dust bin, that’s like a recipe for disaster, mate, like proper piss, proper, full on piss ”, Emmett said.

” Yeah yeah, Emmett, I don’t think I’d want to hear about it now ”, Johnny said .

” Yeah no, I completely understand ”, Emmett said and he left the room . I was walking in the passage when Kevin bumped into me on the way out . He was holding a belt, I had no idea why he had that with him, absolute nut case .

” Woah, man, what are you doing with that, what are you doing with that thing ?, what are you, out of your mind ?”, I said .

” It’s a belt, I found it in the bed room, could come in handy ”, Kevin said .

” What are you gonna bloody do with a belt, are you mad ?”, I asked .

” Well, you never know, you could wack someone on the arse with it, you can whip it and then it can fall flat on someone’s arse, so if someone is giving you a hard time, coming in to mug you or nick you, you could just, Pkkk, do a smack down, they’ll never mess with you again after that ”, Kevin said, as he whipped the belt .

” Stop it, man, you’re not gonna bring that belt with you, it’s staying at home, right where you found it ”, I said .

” Do you have num chucks, Liam, do you have chucks ?”, Kevin asked .

” I do have chucks, yeah, but you’re not having them, you’ll end up knocking someone’s teeth out, I don’t trust it, just look at the way you’re holding that belt, you think I’m gonna have total trust in you, handling my num chucks ?”, I said .

” Go on, Liam, give us a go, I wanna see the chucks, they’re wicked, those things ”, Kevin said .

” Nah man, I can’t, they’re locked away in a special case, hidden in my bed room, I can’t be bothered to rummage through all that shit I have, it’s a tip, in that room, an absolute tip, sorry man, maybe next time, yeah ?”, I said .

” Ah ok, don’t worry, Liam, at least I tried ”, Kevin said . ” This is wicked though, this belt, I reckon I could knock out lots of teeth with this thing, haha, you better watch out ”, Kevin said and he whipped the belt once more .

” Kevin, watch out, be careful where you put that thing, you’ll end up poking my eye out ”, I said, then Johnny walked past and almost accidently got hit with the belt .

” Oh Johnny, fucking hell, watch where you’re going ” Kevin said .

” Ahhhh, what the heck, man, what are you doing, man, you can’t wait to attack little old Johnny, what’s wrong with you ?, what are you, nuts ?”, Johnny shouted .

” Oh sorry, Johnny, I’m so sorry, I, I should have been more careful, really, are, are you okay ?”, Kevin asked .

” Yeah I’m fine, don’t do that again, man, you can’t go around, doing stuff like that, whacking someone with a belt, that’s not, that’s not rational behaviour, come on, man, bloody hell ”, Johnny said .

” I know, man, I’m really sorry, I really am ”, Kevin said .

” Are you gonna whack me ?, are you gonna whack me ?, bloody maniac, let’s see if that belt hits the wall, then let’s see what effect it’s gonna have, puh ”, Johnny said and he walked away .

” See, I told you, you should have been a lot more careful, that’s why I’m not lending you my chucks ”, I said .

” Ok first of all, chucks is a whole other board game, you could settle the differences, one geezer’s gonna have a belt, the other geezer’s gonna have the chucks, see who wins the fight, that’ll give you the indication to say that chucks is different compared to the belt ”, Kevin said .

” Still, I’m not lending you my chucks, alright, go on, Top Of The Pops is on, you’re gonna miss it ”, I said, as I tried to distract Kevin to get him away from wanting my num chucks .

” Ooo, Top Of The Pops, I love that programme, I wonder who’s on it, this time, I hope it’s not Rick Astley, singing that bloody song again, bloody taking the piss, doing that fucking dance, looking like he just pissed himself ”, Kevin said .

 

 

 

Travis and Jamie were having a chat. They were talking about boxing . They are mad about boxing . They would always sit up and watch the boxing matches all the time . They were talking about the most recent match, which was the Nicholson and Fandango fight . They watched another one that included Nizzard but guess what, we don’t talk about that . I’d be surprised if one of them actually mentions it . I doubt it though . I’ve heard he’s a real fighter, that Nizzard . Probably did a runner and did time in prison . No one ever heard from him after that .

” Hey Jamie, did you see that fight, the other day, it was mad, wasn’t it ?”, Travis asked .

” Oh yeah, what, that Nickelson and Fandango fight, yeah, I saw it, it was wicked, that Nickelson geezer still has it, I’m telling you, sick fight ”, Jamie replied .

” Yeah, man, it was wicked, that Fango Fandango geezer is a bit mad though, innit, thing Grumwick ”, Travis said .

” Yeah, that geezer’s gonna plot his revenge, Fango Fandango, he ain’t mucking about ”, Jamie said .

” You know, I thought I saw some geezer who looked like him, when I was down Tottenham, the other day ”, Travis said .

” Really ?, no, get out of it, you can’t have seen him down there ”, Jamie said .

” Yep yep, I’m sure I met him, I saw him down in Skuns, buying milk, I’m sure it was him, if that wasn’t him then I don’t know what is ”, Travis said .

” Really ?, oh fucking hell ”, Jamie said .

” Yeah, that was Fango Fandango, it’s one of those things, isn’t it ?, you think you know them from somewhere, then bang, they’re right in front of you ”, Travis said .

” What is this thing, what’s this thing between you and that Fandango geezer, why do you like him so much ?, he was shit ”, Jamie said .

” Why is he shit ?”, Travis asked .

” He is shit, there are many reasons, one of which, he can’t fight, he can’t throw a proper punch, he got knocked down a couple of times, not to mention he also picked a fight with the referee and he farted in his face, after all that, he still believed he won the fight ?, he is shit, that is the definition of shit right there ”, Jamie replied .

” Oh stop that shit, I like him, okay ?, I think he’s bloody brilliant, he has confidence, you gotta give it to him, some fighters need to have Egos, cause otherwise they’re not gonna get anywhere . ” I mean, come on, speaking of which, what happened to Ghusto Hishan ?”, Travis asked .

” He ended up in prison, Travis, the geezer got arrested and ended up in prison ”, Jamie replied .

” I mean, yeah, but he was also a heavy weight champion, a real good one, he was ”, Travis said .

” Yeah, then he went to prison ”, Jamie said .

” Yeah, but we’re not talking about Hishan here, we’re talking about Fango Fandango, this is totally different compared to Hishan, he has a slightly different technique ” Travis said .

” Right well, I don’t think he’s that good of a fighter, that Nichelson geezer is better, he’s more sharp, that’s for sure, that man can’t even throw a punch ”, Jamie said .

” Are you having a turkish ?, that Nichelson is even worse, I’ve never seen anything like it, did you see how he accepted the belt, his hands were all thing, they were all icky icky, looks like he was accepting a bag of dog shit ”, Travis said .

” That’s what boxers do, they all do that, they’ve been thrashed in the boxing ring, being energetic is the last thing on their minds ”, Jamie said . ” They’re not gonna dance in the ring, that’s just daft ”, Jamie added .

” Oh yeah, that’s true, that’s quite true, actually, didn’t think of that. ” But still, that fight was sick though, wasn’t it ?”, Travis asked .

” Yeah, man, it was sick, wicked . ” Hey Travis, what do you think of doing a boxing match, one of these days, do you think you’d be up for it ?, what’d you reckon ?”, Jamie asked .

” Oh, are you sure about that ?, I’d knock you down in a heartbeat, you’ve seen me fight before, that’s the last thing you’d want ”, Travis said .

” Oh, I’ve seen it before, but that was years ago, can you remember the last time you won a fight ?”, Jamie asked .

” I won a fight at the age of 10, don’t ask me how that came about ?”, Travis replied .

” Oh really, how did it come about ?”, Jamie asked .

” You git, you git, I told you, didn’t I ?, I told you not to ask me, but you did, kowa bunga, arsehole, kowa bunga ”, Travis shouted .

” Wait, but what happened in the fight, did you punch the kid and then his dad came in a chopper ?”, Jamie asked .

” What ?, no no, nothing like that, wait, did you just say chopper, why on earth would he turn up in a chopper ?”, Travis asked .

” I have no clue, it just came to my mind, well, what happened then ?, what did the kid do that made you wanna do him in ?”, Jamie asked .

” He was an idiot, just a normal average idiot, he made fun of me, idiots like that just shouldn’t get away with it ”, Travis said . ” Brahhh, gone ”, he said .

” Haha, good riddance ”, Jamie said .

” Yeah, good riddance, I gave him a smack on the chin, came into school, the next day, looked me in the eye, didn’t even bother, so I said ” Yes, I did it, bingo, get out of the bloody school ”, oh what a load of old shit, you think you can rock my world, hah, you can’t, gone are the days with the stars in your hair, gone are the days with innocense, some day, you’re gonna find the ignorance you lost, staring back at you ”, Travis explained .

” Wow, bloody hell, that’s mad ”, Jamie said .

Travis had a crazy time back in school . You’d think he would of dealt with it alright. He had good grades, never missed a day of school in his life. There were many demented, rough kids in his year. Half of them came from dysfuncional families, most of them started taking shit at the age of 13. Travis got himself in hundreds and hundreds of punch ups. There was one time where he got in a punch up with a geezer named Ritchie, no idea where he found this geezer . The schools are filled with demented dimwits, of all ages . Travis is quite demented himself. He may not seem like it, but he is. Probably worse then Emmett. Emmett may come across as quite unhinged, but Travis just gets aggressive and feels the need to punch a lampost or beat a tree with the stick . Emmett is slightly different, when he’s angry, he will punch someone, that’s way worse then beating a tree or a car with a tree branch .

Jamie acts like he’s never done something like that before, of course he has. I’ve hung out with him on the streets and in and around town, from what I’ve seen, it’s the exact same level of demented, it doesn’t take him that long for something to start him off . He’ll go absolutely blotto. I’ve known him longer then anyone else has. I know how he acts. I’ve seen him go all phycho on a wooden cabinet, it always ends with him trotting around the house, clutching his foot whilst he’s in pain. The man’s mad, the man’s got issues, I’m telling you . There was another time where he thought he met Elton John in the street, but then we found out that it wasn’t Elton John, it was just some random geezer with glasses and he flipped, he just ran across the street, singing Don’t Go Breaking My Heart, it was absolutely terrifying, it was like a soap opera . A soap opera that you just want to end but you know that there’s still two hours left . I’d do anything to erase that moment from my mind . There’s only one thing to say to sir Elton John, don’t go breaking his heart, you couldn’t if you tried. Travis was still going on about winning the fight against the school bully . The look on Jamie’s face, was saying ” God help me, please, help me, get me out of here ” .

” You know what I said to him ?, I said ” You’re dead, you’re dead now, you’re dead ”, and I was pointing at him, like I had a gun, but I didn’t actually have one, it’s just a metaphor, but yeah anyway, I looked at him, it was like the midas touch, but instead of everything turning into gold, it turns into shit, shit finger, he went up to me and said ”  No, I’m still alive, I’m still alive, you can’t kill me ”, then I said ” Nah, you’re bullshit, you’re bullshit man ”, you know what super power I’ve always wanted to have, sense, the ability to call people out on their bullshit, if I could be a superhero, I would be bullshit man, cause like, I’ll always be on call, when someone comes up with something that’s daft, I would fly in some little girl would turn around, look up and say ” Oh look, it’s bullshit man ”, and I would fly in, whether it takes place in a house or a park, I would come to the rescue, man’s always here to sprew out some sense, makes everything else seem less like rubbish ”, Travis explained .

” Yeah ok, Travis, I get it, I get it, I get it, you wanna be Bullshit man, you’ll have to deal with a lot of bullshit in order to be Bullshit man ”, Jamie said .

” There’s bullshit, man, there’s a lot of bullshit everywhere, that’s bullshit cunt ”, Travis said .

” Just stop saying bullshit ”, Jamie said .

” Good idea ”, Travis said .

” What’s bullshit man anyway, who is that ?, does he even exist ?”, Jamie asked .

” It’s me, I’m Bullshit Man, you should have known, I’ve told you this hundreds of times ”, Travis said .

” You’re Travis, you’re not bullshit man ”, Jamie said .

” Yes, but technically, I am Bullshit man, open your ears, open your eyes, I’m here now, I’m bloody here, it’s bullshit man, heya heya heya heya ”, Travis shouted, as he pranced around the kitchen, waving his arms about . Then suddenly, one of Liam’s neighbors knocked on one of the windows and demanded them to be quiet. Travis could see the man’s reflection through the glass stained window .

Travis’s read}

” I could see this man’s reflection through the window, I had no clue who this geezer was, he just suddenly walked up to the house, what a plonker, he couldn’t even buy a new pair of trousers, he’s been wearing the same clothes twice . He was like Andre the builder, it goes like, ” Andre The Builder, yes we can, Andre The Builder, he can fuck you right off ” .

” Oh fuck, who’s that ?, who the bloody hell is that ?”, Jamie asked .

” Sorry, can you keep it down a bit ?”, the geezer next door asked .

” No, man ”, Travis shouted .

” Travis, what are you bloody doing ?, man, that’s Liam’s neighbor, you know ?”, Jamie said .

” Wait, we have neighbors ?, oh well, that’s just brilliant, that is, oh great, more busy bodies, whatever happened to standards, you’d think this place was a circus ”, Travis said, sarcastically .

” We have neighbors, we’ve always had neighbors, they’re just all in their houses, doing fucking Acy Spacey, man, fucking no, how did you know that we had neighbors until now ?, have you been living under a Khazie ?”, Jamie asked .

” Nah, not exactly under, I’ve been living in it, cause I’m Bullshit man, you could live under it ”, Travis said. Jamie face palmed, he’s completely done with Travis . Travis has a way with words . You couldn’t understand what he’s saying, half the time .

” Um, excuse me, am I here or not ?, have I just disappeared off the face of the earth ?, you know I can hear everything you’re saying ?, I’m not deaf, you know ?”, the neighbor asked .

” Wind man ”, Travis shouted .

” Travis, calm down, will ya ?, this is no way to talk to your neighbors, didn’t your parents teach you a thing or two about respect, well, did they ?”, Jamie asked .

” Don’t tell me how to respect one another, you think I believe in this Love Thy Neighbor bullshit, it’s a load of old shit, lefty looney, load of bollocks, this geezer doesn’t make it a nicer environment for us, so why should we do it for him, I’m telling you, Jamie, you’ve gotta stop it with this shit, you’ll drive yourself mad if you carry on like that ”, Travis said .

” Oh bloody hell, you know what ?, I’m really sorry, sir, me and my mate here have had a rough day, he’s acting a bit strange, I apologize, he hasn’t eaten all day ”, Jamie said .

” Yeah man, cheese on toast, you know what I’m saying, bloody starving, I want a kebab, I want like a doner kebab with chilli sauce, happy days ”, Travis said .

” Oh, he’s acting strange ?, oh dear, why’s that ?”, the neighbor asked .

” Dunno, he’s just feeling strange, he gets like this, every one in a while, don’t know why though ”, Jamie replied .

” Well, I can examine him, I’m a doctor, you know ?, I work part time, I’m only working Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, of course, but I can check him out, no sweat ”, the neighbor suggested .

” Hah, this geezer can’t look after himself, how’s he gonna look after me ?”, Travis said .

” Oh you know what, if you can, that would be, that would be great, cheers ”, Jamie said .

” Ahhh, bloody fucking, bloody bloody, fuck you, bloody, bloody no, mother bloody fuck bitch, get out ”, Travis shouted, and he pushed him out and shooed him away .

” Travis, what the bloody hell ?, you could have had a session with a consultant there, but what did you do, you went and chased him away like a nut case, oh, who taught you how to talk to people like that, it makes me wonder ”, Jamie said .

” Man can’t examine me, how’s he gonna examine me anyway, what’s he gonna use to examine me with, what, a rolling pin, bloody useless shit ”, Travis said. ” Fuck, right, you know what, I’m gonna get Liam over, he’ll know what to do, it’s his neighbor, Liam !!!! ”, Travis shouted .

” Oh, don’t get Liam over, he’s gonna find out what you did the man who’s living next door, probably gonna get cross ”, Jamie said .

” Hey Liam, could you do me a favor ?, there’s this well dodgy man out there, he’s dod dod dod dod dodgy, he says he’s a doctor, I don’t know, the man’s lost the plot, it’s typical old day pensioner”, Travis said .

” I’m not fucking pensioner ”, the neighbor shouted .

”Could you just deal with him, yeah ?”, Travis said, as he went to go and find Liam .

” Oh for god sake ”, Jamie said, as he stared at the ceiling .

A dodgy man who’s standing outside, who claims he’s a doctor, I don’t know what he’s on about. I’ve never met a geezer who’s a consultant, and even if I didn’t know him, why’s he knocking on my door . Unless he’s talking about Cliff . Cliff is my next door neighbor, he’s lived here for probably about two years, since the swinging sixties. He’s a nice geezer, but he’s also incredibly nosy. If you make a sound, there will be a knock on the door, garanteed . I once found him in my garden, trying to put salt in my plants. I found these grains of salt in my plant pots. I honestly felt like egging his house and bringing my num chucks with me. Luckily, I haven’t got round to doing that yet, and hopefully, it stays that way . Travis started running to find me .

” Liam, where the bloody hell are you ?”, Travis asked .

” I’m sitting on the khazie ”, I replied .

” Why, why are you sitting on the khazie ?”, Travis asked .

” Cause I’m taking a shit, why else would I be sitting on the khazie ?, how do you think I wouldn’t know this, like, it’s in Prague, it’s the first fucking room ”, I shouted .

” What the hell is this geezer on about ?”, Travis whispered .

” Travis, just let him do his thing, I’ll go and sort it out ”, Jamie said .

” But, you have no idea how to talk to adults, man’s gonna use you as a door mat, I’m telling you, you’re not letting that lunatic in our house ”, Travis said .

” Easy for you to say, it’s my house, I pay the rent every month ”, I said .

” Yeah, but technically, it’s our house, we all live here ”, Travis said .

” You know what, now that you’ve mentioned it, I’ll go and sort it out, you guys wait there ”, I said, and I got out of the Cat and dog and walked off .

” Oh look, there you are, took you long enough, it doesn’t take you that long to take a shit, doesn’t it ?, I honestly thought that you were up to something, the apple don’t fall far from the tree, innit Liam ?, Liam, ah he’s gone, isn’t he, yeah, I thought so ”, Travis said .

I went to go and have a chat with the neighbor next door . He was on a ladder really high up. God knows what he’s doing up there though, trying to fix some satelite or something . Cliff always stops and says hello, he asks how’s things, always knocks on my door and tells me to come over to his house. I stop by and have a cuppa sometimes. I have another neighbor, but he lives a few doors down. His name is Mick. I always stop by and say hello, it’s a very lively neighborhood, everyone’s always doing something .

” Oi Cliff, you got a clip on that ladder ?”, I shouted .

” Yeah alright, Liam, long time no see, how’s things ?, how have you been getting on ?”, Cliff asked .

” Yeah, nah nah, it’s going good, how about you, you’re getting up to anything, these days ?, what are you doing up there ?, I see you’re getting stuck in ”, I asked .

” Yeah nah, just putting up a new satelite, these things are a real pain in the arse, of course we can’t do it by hand, that’s what the energy companies are for ”, Cliff said .

” Yeah, I know, man, those things are too much, but let me tell you something, once you get in place, hargh, makes a big difference, it’s just the bit before that, that is difficult ”, I told him .

” Yeah, that’s true ”, Cliff said .

” Hm, oh well, it was nice catching up, feel free to stop by, you know, if you’re nearby, don’t be afraid to give us a bell, we’ll always be here, if you wanna come in and say hello, I only live down there ”, I said .

” Ah well, thanks for that, I’ll pop round, one day, see how you’re getting on ”, Cliff said .

” Cool, well, see ya, oh and um, I just wanna say good luck with that ”, I said .

” Cheers, see ya ”, Cliff said. I walked back to the house .

” So, did you have a chat with Cliff ?”, Travis asked . He was standing by the door when I came in .

” I sure did ”, I replied .

” Well, what did he say ?”, Travis asked .

” Oh, nothing much, he just said hello, he’s putting up some satelite, god knows what he’s trying to do, I saw some metal thing, so I’m guessing it was a satelite, at least, I think that’s what it was, but you can’t be too sure, you know ?”, I replied .

” Wow, all of that kerfuffle for man fixing a satelite, hah, unbelievable, didn’t even mention the knocking on the door thing ”, Travis said . Then, Emmett suddenly appeared. He came running in, like bat man, like a really drunk bat man, one that’s three sheets to the wind and he doesn’t know where he is .

” Alright, Emmett ?”, I said .

” You don’t flush the Khazie after taking a shit, disgustang ”, Emmett shouted.

” You have any idea what’s going on ?”, Jamie asked .

” Nah ”, I said .

” You always flush the Khazie after you take a shit, right ?”, Emmett asked .

” Yeah, that’s what I always do, what are you talking about ?, is there something wrong ?”, I asked .

” Well yes, there is something wrong, you bloody didn’t, you left the seat up, it stunk the place out, you stinker, go and flush it, you mug ”, Emmett shouted .

” Em, are you okay ?”, Jamie asked .

” I’m okay, I’m okay ”, Emmett replied .

” Do you want us to take you outside to get some fresh air ?”, I asked .

” No, no one’s doing anything, no one’s going anywhere, I’m fine, I assure you ”, Emmett said .

” Alright then ”, I said . A few minutes later. Emmett flipped . He suddenly went mad. He tried to chuck spoons at us. I honestly don’t even know what got him .

” Ahhhh, get out, get out, get out now, get out, when I say get out, you get out ”, Emmett shouted, as he chased us around the house with spoons .

” Bloody hell, fucking god, fucking god ”, Dominick shouted . Johnny was in his room, listening to music on his walk man, unaware about what’s going out there .

” Eeeee, and I’m so glad you’re mine now, woah woah woah woah woah woah, ahhhh, bloody hell ”, Johnny shouted . A few minutes later, Emmett calmed down and he was lying on the sofa, acting like nothing even happened . We were watching some day time television programme . Just two people sitting down on a sofa, talking shit, that’s one way to put it .

” Gordon Bennett, why are these idiots always on the tube, I swear I see them all the time, they were there on this programme, yesterday, then the day before, now they’re on here, I swear to god, man, these stinkers, why not let someone else do it, these people are on it all the time, they all do it for the money though, I think that’s why, they just need that extra 500 quid, they get their share, and then they just come scurrying back for more, senseless gits, fame bashing gits ”, Dominick said .

” Yeah, I thought I recognized them from somewhere, I even saw them in my kitchen ”, I said, then Johnny winked and fist bumped me .

” Ayyyyyyy ”, Johnny said .

” I mean, just look at them, you could just see it in their eyes, they’re thinking  ” Yeah, man, I’m getting paid 500 quid, I’m fine, the whole world’s struggling at the moment, you know, with poverty and stuff like that, but no one cares about them, they can sort themselves out, but apart from all that, I’m fine ”, Travis said. ” Naive gits, they just care about no one but themselves, it’s just me me me me me ”, he added .

” Just send them to Paupa New Guinea, let’s see how much they can cope, look, see what they’re doing, it’s obvious, isn’t it ?, you know what’s gonna happen in those twenty five minutes, one’s gonna shit his pants, the other one’s gonna storm off and attack the film crew with a kettle, let’s just see how long they can keep it up for, it’s not gonna be long until something comes out ”, Jamie said .

” Oh, what the fuck is he doing, why’s that geezer standing like that, he looks like he just shat himself ”, Kevin said .

” He’s doing the wee wee walk, people do that when they’re embarrased, I’ve seen some geezer do it in the street, when they’re pissing, they assume that no one’s gonna see them doing it, so they just close their eyes, but the people can still see it, it’s just dumb shit, it’s like ” Are you pissing, are you pissing while you’re talking to me ?”, like it’s stupid ”, Dominick said .

” How are you still watching this, how, I would of changed the channel by now, how you’re still watching this, is beyond me ”, Johnny said .

” It’s because I chucked the remote control out the window ”, Emmett said .

” Oh, Emmett, you’re back to your usual self, are ya, how long have you been lying there for ?”, I asked .

” Yeah, just dozed off ”, Emmett replied .

Emmett’s acting like nothing even happened. He just did a four hour rampage, scaring the shit out of us, throwing spoons across the room, now he’s acting like he just spent the last 2 hours sleeping . I completely missed the fact that he chucked the remote control out the window, I was too busy trying to get my head around the fact that he’s been sleeping for the last 4 hours, minus he’s spartan rampage, that almost brang the house down .

” Wait, did you just say that you threw the remote control out the window ?”, I asked .

” Well yeah, what else did I say ?”, Emmett said. ” I made it crystal clear that I chucked it out the window ”, he added .

” Wait, wait, one minute, let me get this straight, so you’re saying that you chucked  our remote control out the window, our one and only remote control ?, you’ve gotta be kidding ?”, I said .

” Yeah ”, Emmett replied .

” Oh my god, now I have to watch these pissers on the tube ”, Johnny said, as he put his hand on his face .

” I’m just joking, the remote control is right here, I was sitting on it the whole entire time and I didn’t even bother telling you ”, Emmett said .

” Oh thank goodness, you had me for a second there ”, I said .

” Haha, he totally pimped your remote control, girlfriend ”,  Johnny said .

” I sure did ”, Emmett said .

” Wait, hang about, hang about, did you just say that you sat on it, the whole entire time ?”, Kevin asked .

” Yeah, why ?”, Emmett asked .

” Well no, man’s sitting on a remote control, you probably guffed on it, don’t touch it, don’t bloody touch it ”, Kevin said .

” The fuck ”, Jamie said .

” Don’t touch the remote control, don’t don’t don’t, dont touch the remote control, whatever you do, don’t touch it, Johnny, bloody hell, I told you not to touch it, what are you bloody doing, touching it, I specifically told you not to touch it, Emmett farted on it ”, Kevin shouted .

” What do you mean, it’s a remote control, of course I’m supposed to touch it, it’s a remote control, innit ?”, Johnny said .

” I didn’t fart, Kevin, stop accusing me for doing something I didn’t do, stop taking the piss ”, Emmett said .

” Kev, he sat on it, he didn’t do anything ”, I said .

” Oh, are you sure, are you sure, Liam, well, what is this, dick wit ?”, Kevin said .

” Kevin, when I was in fuck dut, none of this would be acceptable ”, Emmett said .

” Emmett, no one wants to know what you did in fuk dut, fuk dut isn’t even a real thing, nor is dik wit ”, I said .

” What is this shit, like seriously, what is this shit, I can’t believe everyone’s fighting over Fuck dut, I can’t believe this shit ”, Jamie said .

” I’m just joking, man, just joking, it’s just a joke, I know you didn’t fart, I just wanted to piss you off ”, Kevin said .

” Oh my god, Kevin, don’t do that, man ”, Travis said .

” So, are we gonna do this gang war thing, then ?”, I asked .

” Um yeah, I forgot about that, it’s all just been a blur, can’t remember what happened this morning, can’t remember what I did, the day before, bloody hell ”, Emmett replied .

” Do you know the exact time of when we have to be there, was it like 3 oclock or something ?”, I asked .

” Precisly, it doesn’t have to be early, it doesn’t have to be 3 oclock, it could be somewhere along the lines of 2 or half 3, as long as we get there early, then it should be fine, innit ”, Emmett said .

” Let me tell you something, I can’t wait to do this, I’ve never done something like this before, is there anything I should know before taking part in this event ?”, Johnny asked .

” Uh yeah, when you’re in the midst of everything and you’re kicking ass, you have to take pride in yourself, cause you know that you won’t come out of that place alive, so ”, Emmett replied .

” Oh, not coming out of that place alive ?, what do you mean by that, Emmett, what do you mean by not coming out of that place alive ?, why is that ?”, Johnny asked . ” I don’t like the sound of this ”, he added .

” Oh, don’t worry, Johnny, it’s nothing, really, it’s a quick thing, it won’t take long, you just don’t do it and come out, I’ve done it before, it’s nothing ”, Emmett told him .

” Oh my god, you’re gonna make us fight, aren’t you ?, I knew it ”, Dominick said .

” What did you know, do what ?”, Emmett asked .

” Liam told me that gang war is like a circus, I was told that it’s something to do with trapeze, that’s clearly not what it is ”, Dominick said .

” Who told you that were gonna do fucking trapeze ?”, Emmett shouted .

” Liam did, he specifically said that you were gonna make us hang on high ropes and do Indian rope trick ”, Dominick said .

” Well, I don’t know what you do in gang war, this geezer’s talking pure bullshit, doesn’t speak English ”, I said .

” Well, if you don’t do circus tricks, then what do you do ?”, Dominick asked .

” You pull pranks on the following individuals, whoever’s there and you just run around, listen to what they’re saying, prank them some more, and then you just chase them round and round in circles, followed by a car chase, but we don’t know if we’re gonna do that yet, not sure if anyone will be up for it, to be honest ”, Emmett said .

” Oh right, so that’s what gang war is, oh ok, that makes sense ”, Dominick said .

” Oh, so we’re not gonna be doing Indian rope trick, that’s good ”, I said .

” What, did you think I was gonna make you do that ?, that’s ridiculous, I would never do that ”, Emmett said .

” Well, are we gonna go and do it or what ?, do you think it’s time we made our way down there ?”, Jamie asked .

”  Yeah, just letting you know, I’m driving this time ”, Emmett said .

” You always drive, what are you talking about ?”, I said .

” Yeah but, I don’t really drive that much, so ”, Emmett said . We all walked outside .

” Whatever you do, yeah, just don’t play that mix tape ”, I said .

” What mixtape ?”, Emmett asked .

” That one mixtape, it’s that one with the tai music on it, the last time you played it, we were on our way back from Tottenham and we all got motion sick ”, I replied . ” Johnny vomited in the back, stunk the place out, it looked like Gootcha all over the seats ”, I said .

” What are you talking about, I don’t play Tai music ”, Emmett said . Then suddenly, Thai music starts playing, out of the blue .

” What is this shit, man, it’s like Chinese ”, I said .

” It’s Chinese ”, Johnny said .

” No, it’s not Chinese ”, Emmett shouted .

” Where is this place that we’re supposed to go, is it in Stamford Hill ?”, I asked .

” Um no, it’s in Chingford ”, Emmett replied .

” Where the bloody hell is Chingford ?”, Jamie asked .

” I don’t know, really, I think it’s somewhere near Tottenham, you go a few yards down, then it’s there, I think ”, Emmett said .

” What is this song, man, why put this song on for ?, I can hear it ringing in my ears ”, Kevin asked .

” It’s like Thai / Reggae, so it’s like Thai music with elements of Reggae in it ”, Emmett replied .

” Thai / Reggae, is that even a thing ?”, Kevin asked .

” Yeah, they had that in the 70s, they used to get Thai music and then put a beat in the back round, it’s bad, you know, really sets the scene, it may seem strange, but when you listen to it, pah, you can’t get enough of it, you’ll have the song on re run ”, Emmett said . ” This is the real shit, none of that fake, dance music, this is real music ”, he added .

” Nah man, I think I’m fine with T Rex and Abba ”, Kevin said .

” Are we there yet ?”, Johnny asked .

” Nah, there’s still quite a long way to go, still, maybe you guys can do something to occupy yourselves ”, Emmett said .

” Like what ?”, Johnny asked .

” Like, play a game ?, or maybe you can do karaoke, or you can play a game ?”, I said .

” Yeah, that’s a good idea, let’s play a game, let’s play a game called Name A Country, so you have to name a country that probably doesn’t even exist, do you wanna go first, Dominick ?”, Johnny asked .

” Um yeah, cool, ok um, I’ve got one, it’s called Fucking ”, Dominick replied .

” Oh yeah, I’ve been there, I’ve been to fucking, it’s a nice village, the people are nice there, ok, I’ve heard there’s a village that’s called Shit Head, I’m from the village of Shit Head ”, Jamie said. ” What village are you from, Kevin ?”, he asked .

” I’m from the village of twat ”, Kevin said .

” And I’m from the village of bunny fucking shits, fucking fucking ”, Emmett said .

” Ok guys, that’s enough of playing games for one day, guys, we’re almost there ”, I said .

” Ah yes, finally, I would have had to listen to Kevin, saying he’s from the village of twat ”, Travis said .

” You know what, this looks nothing like Chingford ”, Dominick said .

” It is Chingford ”, Emmett said .

” No it’s not, cause I’ve been there before, this is not chingford, this is country bumpkin land, antray ”, Dominick said .

” Well, I must be heading in the wrong direction, cause I have no idea where this is going ”, Emmett said .

” No Emmett, it’s fine, you’re going in the right direction, just carry on driving, you probably just don’t recognize this area, if we carry on going further, then maybe, we might recognize it ”, I said .

” Oh, you recognize certain areas, if you’ve been living here all your life, you will recognize it, you recognize the home town you grew up in, if you don’t recognize the place you were born in, then that’s a big problem ” Dominick said .

” Have you ever been to this place before ?, this wharehouse, whatever the fuck it’s called ”, I asked .

” Yeah of course, I’ve been there before, why would I take you to a place where we’ve never been before, I’ve been to this place, I’ve spoken to the people who own the building, it’s all good ”, Emmett replied .

” Right, it should be fine then ”, I said .

Emmett never told us the name of the wharehouse . I don’t even know if it’s a wharehouse or a sausage factory. So much for fucking sausages . Turns out, this place is in Chingford. Never been to Chingford, don’t know what to expect. Emmett told me that he’s done this before. I thought gang war had something to do with circus and trapeze, that’s the clear message . Then suddenly, he turned around and said that it’s not . If Emmett has signed us up for something that’s unbelievably stupid, I’m gonna blow him up sky high. He’s sending us to a fucking wharehouse in the middle of no where, I can’t bloody believe it .

A few minutes later, we parked up outside the building. Finally. The wharehouse looked old and probably been there for decades. It was massive . I don’t know what it’s gonna be like inside the building . Is there enough space to run around, do any people work there . Whilst we’re running around, doing mad shit, people are gonna be wondering what on earth are we doing . We were the only ones there . There was no one there but this one random woman . This place reminded me of Southampton, all the memories that came with that .

” Oh shit, well, that’s depressing ”, Dominick said, as he got out of the car .

” Well, she’s not really much of a looker, not much to look at, but it’s what’s inside that counts, all the stuff is gonna happen inside, isn’t it ?, there’s no point complaining about what’s outside, when all we’re gonna do is go inside ”, I said .

” Ah shit, You know what I said, last night, about me looking to become a taxi driver, yeah, it was a joke, you really think I’ll take shit job like that, swerving down Stamford Hill, like a really shit James Bond, I don’t think so, it was a joke, if anything ”, Emmett said .

” Well, that’s just great ”, I said .

” Are we the only ones who are here ?, I think we’re the only ones here ”, Johnny asked .

” Yeah, come to think of it, we are, that’s just bloody strange, I thought you said this was Chingford, this isn’t Chingford, this is fucking farm, where are the cows and the goats ?”, I said .

” Oh no, you don’t find goats here, they’ve got loads of them in the countryside, if you wanna get your tit yanked off by a goat, I suggest you go somewhere else ”, Emmett said .

” Ah bloody hell, could you imagine getting lost in a place like this ?”, I asked .

” Oh, you don’t have to imagine, you could go and do it, dreaming is for sleeping, we can go and get fucked in the woods right now, if you like ?”, Jamie said .

” Nah, I don’t think so, I’d rather stay here ”, I said . Then, Dominick spotted a woman, standing in the middle of the area, smoking spliff .

” One minute, who’s that woman over there ?”, Dominick asked .

” Your mum ”, Kevin replied, he started laughing . Kevin, the man of all jokes, not to mention that he’s crusty as shit .

” Oh leave it out, Kevin, we all know that that isn’t Dominick’s mum ”, Jamie said .

” I know, I know she isn’t,  she doesn’t have to be, it’s funny though ”, Kevin said .

” Yeah, it’s funny for you, it might not be funny for me ”, Dominick said .

” Why, why is it not funny for you ?”, Kevin asked .

” Cause it’s just not, you don’t need an explanation, it’s not funny, fall stop ”, Dominick said .

” But why though, why, vye, vula hee, vye vye, vula hee, vye vye, vula hee, why are you such a mizer ?”, Kevin asked .

” Because, her and her husband used to give me a good hiding every time, it’s not my fault I don’t live there anymore ”, Dominick replied .

” One minute, is she smoking spliff ?, why is she smoking pliff ?”, I asked .

” Tada, hallelujah, she’s smoking spliff, at least we know something, it’s not enough though, cause this woman, she’s just standing there, don’t know what she’s doing ”, Jamie said .

” Could she be waiting for something, or someone, like a bus or a friend or something ?”, Johnny asked .

” You ain’t gonna find no bus down here, unless she’s waiting for a friend or something ”, I said .

” Hey Dominick, you should go up to her, you know ?”, Kevin said .

” Go up to who ?”, Dominick asked .

” That woman over there, you should go up to her, she may seem mad on the outside, but you never know, she might be nice and say hello ”, Kevin replied .

” Oh, I don’t know about that, man, what if she’s married and her husband comes out and threatens me with his machine gun ?, this is in the middle of nowhere, you know, if something does come up, and he ends up chasing me, where are we gonna hide, there’s nothing but trees here ”, Dominick said .

” It will be fine, she looks harmless, she could hardly harm a fly, we could just get this over with and we can find out what this place is, where we’ve ended up and we can get in there and do our thing ”, Travis said .

” Ok fine, but if she starts walking towards me, one of you is gonna have to replace me ”, Dominick said .

” Yeah yeah, just go and talk to this weird ass, demented woman ”, Emmett said .

Dominick walked up to the lady . She stared at him like ” What are you bloody doing here ?”. He said it reminded him of Deliverance, except there’s no little boy with a banjo, instead, there’s a random ass ignorant woman who looks like she’s about to drag you along the grass with her bare hands . She has the urge to bash you with a stick. You wouldn’t want that landing on your head. I’m telling you, I’d stay away from that, if I were him . Dominick doesn’t really know how to communicate with strangers. You’re supposed to stay clear of them, but how else are you supposed to make friends. I’m not saying that Dom is gonna befriend a weird old woman but still, the same thing still applies . Dom has to be wary about what he says to people. He can say some really dumb shit sometimes . He once told this geezer that he was Ritchie Blackmore. that was in the early sixties. Man couldn’t play base, I honestly don’t even know why he spread the word . I just hope he doesn’t say anything stupid . Kevin was weighing in on this . He was the one who came up with the idea in the first place . I don’t know what to expect. I hope Dominick just asks her about where we have ended up and about the location, about this place we call Chingford, and not tell her that he just came back from the wild west and saying that he’s a friend of Dorothy . I don’t even know who Dorothy is, who is she ?, who the fuck is Dorothy ?.

Emmett was probably thinking ” Ask her out ”, of course he’d think that, he’s a dirty old fucker. As far as I’m concerned, Dominick isn’t gonna walk up to a 60 year old, middle aged woman and ask her out . That’s basically incest. He doesn’t even like dating anyway, why would he do that ?. Everyone was all standing there, all spread out, looking stiff. Emmett looks like he was about to punch Dominick if he mucked it up, Johnny was thinking ” What is this shit ?”, Jamie looked like he has totally given up on life, Kevin was trying not to laugh, Travis was leaning against the car, just staring, and me ?, well, I had no idea what was going on, I didn’t know how to act . I couldn’t pull a facial expression if I tried . It would look like an ongoing face transplant that had collapsed, operated on by a really shit plastic surgeon .

” Well go on then, what are you waiting for, we haven’t got all day, you either talk to her or you don’t ”, Emmett said .

” Is there a way that I can not do this ?”, Dominick asked .

” All that commitment for nothing, oh come on, Dominick, we just discussed this, you wanted to do this, it was your idea, so go and do it ”, I said .

” What do you mean, it was my idea ?, it wasn’t my idea, it was Kevin’s, why would I just do a shit thing like this anyway, Jesus, what’s next, gor blimey, the next thing you’re gonna make me do is tell her that we share the same DNA, saying that she’s my grand mum or something like that ”, Dominick said .

” Oh come on, that’s just ridiculous, we don’t make you do stuff like that, that’s just on another level. We’re making you do this, because we’re in the middle of nowhere, and you know, we’re dying to find out where we’ve ended up, if we ended up, stuck in a place like this, we’d be clueless ”, Johnny said .

” Ok, you know what, you’re right, we really should find out about this place, and those arches and that old house, I didn’t actually notice that weird thing until now, looks like a boot, I don’t know what it is, it’s weird. Alright, I’m gonna go and speak to that woman over there, here goes nothing ”, Dominick said and he walked off .

” Alright, let’s see this then, let’s see if Dominick really has good social skills or if this is just another stinker situation ”, Emmett said .

” Either way, I think it will be brilliant, this isn’t the first time he’s doing something like this as well, so he’s definetely not a stinker, I mean, he can be a stinker, anyone can be a stinker, but he isn’t a stinker for doing this, so that’s good ”, Kevin said .

” We can all be stinkers, we all do things that make us look like stinkers, you are a stinker, you don’t have to be labeled a stinker, you already are a stinker, you’re welcome ”, Travis said .

” Kevin, stop talking about stinkers, Dominick’s talking to that woman over there and I wanna hear him, you can talk about stinkers later ”, Johnny said . ” Not that I wanna listen to you talk about stinkers, but this is the world we’re living in, unfortunatly, just deal with it like the rest of us ”, he added .

Dominick started talking to the lady . He was standing far apart from her, no idea why he was keeping a distance, there’s no reason to . Perhaps paranoia is knocking on the door. If I ever call Dominick paranoid in any way shape or form, he would punch me or attack me with a pair of scissors or worse, he can kick me down a flight of stairs, so I don’t say it to his face, usually, but just between you and I, he is paranoid, without a doubt, paranoid . I do hope he’s not looking through my journal, I hope he’s not reading all my secrets. He’s gonna have a fun time with this, I’m telling you . Don’t let him fucking see this .

” Bloody hell, why’s he standing like that, he’s standing so far apart, she’s down there and he’s right down there, is he talking the piss right now, I think he’s taking the piss ”, Jamie said .

” Yeah well, if you were talking to a woman like that, perhaps you will do the same, she’s even growing facial hair on her chin, I pity your mother if you think that’s a willing woman ”, Kevin said .

” She is a willing woman, I mean, look at her, you think you’d wanna get in a punch up with a woman like that, just imagine her on her wedding day, just imagine the groom running away whilst the best man makes an attempt to slip the wedding ring on his finger, then you’d hear from him, a few years later, saying that he’s with another bird, it’s the harsh reality, it’s sad but it’s true, that’s how it goes, innit ”, Emmett said .

” Well, looks aren’t everything, you have to remember that, you either have it or you don’t, it’s what’s on the inside that counts, you’d rather be with someone who actually loves you and actually wants to be with you, rather then just get with someone who looks good ”, Johnny said .

” You have any idea what this geezer is talking about, I only heard him say rabbit and pub, could you make any sense out of it ? ”, Kevin asked .

” Haha, try and figure it out ”, I said .

Meanwhile, Dominick was talking to the lady . He had no idea what he was talking about . It was something about houses, then it suddenly went into god knows what .

” Hello, lady mate, this is a nice place, isn’t it, I could imagine living here, oh wow, is that a house, I love houses, I don’t like the ones with the arches on the top though, I like to stay away from those, I wonder who lives there, what, you live there ?, what, you taking me down the Jack and Downy, mate ?, nah, you cannot be living here, no, shut up, get out of he . ” Hello, hello, oh fuck, no response, no response, as always, can you believe it, Liam ?, there’s no response, this woman ain’t talking to me, I don’t even believe it myself, if I ask myself . He said, as he waved . ” Wow, I ain’t doing that again in a hurry, this is just stupid uh, I’m shouting at myself, uhhh. ” Oh and um, what’s that ?, is that a chicken ?, it’s either a chicken or, or we’re both wacked out, three sheets to the wind and it doesn’t exist, and it’s some geezer doing hunting in a field ”, Dominick said .

” Hello, Kenny, you maky pineapple ?”, the woman asked .

” What ?”, Dominick asked . ” What did you say, did I make pineapple ?”, he asked .

” Hello, Kenny, you got job yet ”, the woman asked .

” What, who the fuck is Kenny ?”, Dominick asked . ” Oh Jesus, I don’t fucking know, honestly, god help me, please, help me, drag me away from this fucking woman, she’s like bloody Mirahora, or like Vasilu ” he said to himself .

” Kenny, man ”, Kevin said to wind him up .

” No, that’s not my name, my name is not Kenny, alright, it’s Dominick, it’s not fucking Kenny ”, Dominick said .

” Whatever Kenny ”, Kevin said .

Then suddenly, a man appeared. He just suddenly appeared, he just came out, I don’t know who he is or where he came from. Whatever it is, it’s probably a sign that Dom was talking shit and he should probably stop . The geezer looked demented. He looked like the sort of geezer who would keep a stick in his cabin and would wait patiently for something to come his way just so he could put it up to good use .

” Oh, who the bloody hell is that, no seriously, who the fuck is that ?”, Dominick said .

” Wait, did he just come out of there, did he just come out of that cabin ?, crikey, it’s almost like he’s magic ”, Johnny said .

” That geezer looks like tramp ”, Emmett said .

” Haha, get out, you disgusting tramp ”, Kevin shouted .

” Oh hello, are you my new daddy ?, did you come all the way from Slough to come and see me ?, lovely ”, Dominick said . ” Hello daddy, as you can see, I’m just out here with my band mates, we’re in a band called The Tsunamies and we’re supposed to be on tour at the moment, but we seemed to have ended up here ”, Dominick said .

” Wait a minute, we’re in a band ?, we’re in a band, this is wicked, I’ve always wanted to be in a band, this is a dream come true for me ”, Travis said .

” Nah man, The Tsunamies ?, this geezer’s off his rocker ”, Emmett said .

” Wait, The Tsunamies ?, did you just say Tsunamy ?, there’s a tsunamy ?, oh shit, there’s a tsunamy, dear, you’re not gonna believe this, there’s gonna be a tsunamy, arghh, I can’t fucking believe it, take cover, we’re sleeping in the garden shed tonight, fuck this ”, The man shouted as he ran around, panicking .

” No no no, you’re getting it all wrong, there’s no Tsunamy, you see, the thing is, is that’s the name of our band, we’re called The Tsunamies, there’s no reason for you to run around like a headless chicken, there’s clearly no Tsunamies and you know that, we rarely get Tsunamies here in London, it’s crazy, where are you gonna get a tsunamy in London ? ”, Dominick said .

” Oh good, good, thank god ”, the man said . ” So, what was you saying just now ?, you were saying you were supposed to be going to some gig ?”, he asked .

” Yeah nah, I was just saying how we’re in this band and we need to get to some music venue . So yeah, let me tell you something, we wrote this song, it’s called ” Is This A Dream ?”, we were just about to perform this song at one of our gigs, but you can’t write and sing songs when you’re not there, can you ?”, Dominick said . ” Nah, I thought so, it’s kind of a tough subject, but moral of the story, we need to get out of here, do you know what this location is ?”, Dominick asked . ” Cause, you know, you’re my best mate, I just know you can tell me ”, he said .

” Who the bloody hell are you ?”, The man asked .

” You’re my dad ”, Dominick replied .

” What do you mean, I’m your dad ?, I’ve never met you in my life, who is this geezer ?, why’s he talking to me, this geezer ?, who are you ?”, the man asked .

” I don’t fucking know ”, Emmett said .

” You know what, I think I should step in, I’ll be back in a jiff ”, Travis said .

” No, where are you going ?”, I asked .

” Hiiiiiiiii, haha ”, Travis said, as he clinged onto him .

” I’m here with my good friend, Travis Fisher, we are best mates ”, Dominick said .

” Yeah, we are boyfriends ”, Travis said .

” We are friends ”, Dominick said .

” We are gal pals, gals and geezers, that’s who we are ”, Travis said .

” We are just really good mates ”, Dominick said .

” We are husbands, we are partners, we are in love, if anyone tries to bring me down, I don’t care, man don’t give a fuck like ”, Travis said as he snuck up his middle finger .

” Piss off, no, piss off ”, Dominick told Travis .

” Yeah, mind me, I’ll piss off ”, Travis said and he walked away from me .

” Haha, just busting your chops, we’re great friends, I’d never do something like that ”, Dominick said . ” Hey Travis, show him your dance recital, the one we’re gonna be doing this afternoon ”, he said .

” What, this one ?”, Travis asked, and he started doing the dance .

”Yeah, that’s the one ”, Dominick said. He started dancing as well as Travis . They were both singing as well . The man looked at them, he thought they were mad. He was so confused. I can’t blame him, to be honest, we weren’t any different. We were there, watching in the back, we had no idea what was going on .

” What the fuck are they doing ?”, Emmett said .

” I have no clue ”, I said .

” I am not quite there, cause I’m dreaming, yeah ”, Dominick sang .

” Doh Doh Doh Doh, bom bom bom bom, he’s dreaming, yeah ”, Travis sang .

” I am waiting down the railway line for a girl like you to come and take me home, doo doo doo, but sometimes, you don’t approve, so you just leave me there by myself, alone ”, Dominick sang .

” She leaves you at the train station alone, she don’t pick up the phone, doh doh, doh doh doh doh, you look up to the sky and your tears are like a stream, you say to yourself, you say ” Is this some sort of a dream ?”, Travis sang .

” Arrrrr arrrr, is this some sort of a dream ?, you’re tearing me apart, Colleen, oh would you please come back to me ?”, Dominick sang .

” Colleen, who the fuck is Colleen ?”, I said .

” Doh doh doh doh, oh this is a dream, oh would you please just wake me, I can’t take it anymore ”, Travis sang .

” Is this some sort of a dream ?”, Dominick sang and Travis pretended to play the trumpet .

” Doo Doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doooooooo, da na na ”, Travis made the sound of a trumplet . They stopped .

” What the fuck was that ?”, Emmett said .

” Ta Daaaaa ”, Travis said .

” Yeah, I can play base as well, I just don’t have it on me, I bloody left it at home ”, Dominick said .

” Hah, man can’t play base, you joking ?” Kevin said .

” Alright, Ritchie Blackmore, don’t take the piss, you’re fucking singing, you know, you’re scaring the pigeons, pipe it down a little bit ”, the man said .

” Oh, damn you, you transit van, I spent ages putting that piece together, not for you to come along and shit on it, I asked you to send one solid shit in one direction, not Mundra fucking everywhere ”, Dominick shouted .

” Who on earth are you ?, I’ve been standing here for ages, I don’t even know this geezer, he’s going on and on about how he play base, never met this geezer in my life ”, the man said .

” Oh well, you decided to speak now, did ya, that woman who was standing next to you didn’t open her mouth, once, not even once, she just sprewed all this shit about pineapple and she got my mate’s name wrong, she called him Kenny, she barely spoke a word of English, didn’t say anything to me, for the whole afternoon, but now, you’re here, acting like you know me, like I’m your fucking relative, what the bloody hell ?”, Dominick said .

” Oh leave it out, absolute pony, what did you say to my wife anyway ?”, the man asked .

” What, she’s your wife, that woman who was there a while ago, she’s your wife ?, no, it can’t be”, Dominick asked .

” Yeah, that’s about right ”, The man said .

” Oh god blimey ”, Travis said .

” But, it can’t be, she’s hardly related to you, she looks nothing like you, how can she be your wife ?”, Dominick asked .

” Like they say, there’s someone for everyone ”, the man said . ” She was beautiful, the day I met her, I’ll never forget that day ”, he added .

” Listen, man, I didn’t walk up to you just so I could listen to your inaccurate marriage history, I just wanna find out what this place is, cause honestly, we have no idea, if you see a tree and one house, does that mean that you know the location ?”, Dominick asked .

” Well yeah, if you live round here, what sort of person doesn’t know their own area ?, I would have said ” Are you taking the piss ?”, to their face ”, the man said .

” I don’t live down here though, don’t I ?, I live down Stamford Hill, that’s a totally different place ”, Dominick said .

” Where ?”, the man asked .

” Um, Stamford Hill, it’s near Tottenham,  you go down and then you have to take a right, then you’re there, so ”, Dominick replied .

” Dominick, this is near Tottenham, why are you acting like it’s in the countryside, we didn’t even drive that far, what the hell ?”, I said .

” I know that, but there are trees and bushes and things that look like fucking hay, so technically, it’s like the countryside ”, Dominick said .

” You said you were in Chingford, so you’re in Chingford, simple as that ”, the man said .

” Wow, so it’s that easy ?, wow, fucking hell ”, Dominick said .

” Look, sorry sir, me and my friends will be on our way, but can you just tell us the name of this building, please ?, what’s it called ?”, I asked .

” Oh this building ?, it’s called the driscol warehouse, it’s a manufactuers, it used to supply hundreds of hundreds of soaps, it got demolished in 69, now it’s just a normal wharehouse, no one really knows what it’s been used for ”, the man replied . ” I knew some geezers who worked here, but that’s really it ”, he added .

” Oh right, bloody hell, ohh so that’s what it was used for, it makes sense ”, I said .

” Fucking hell, no wonder why nobody uses it anymore, looks weird, I can’t imagine why someone actually lived there ”, Emmett said .

” This was a factory, Emmett, no one lived here ”, I said .

” Well yeah, but you know, before it became one, someone must have lived there, it doesn’t just come like that, someone didn’t just wake up and say ” Let’s turn this place into a factory ”, it must have been a house, it must have been, I’m sure, I’m sure of it ”, Emmett said .

” Look, man, is there anyone who owns that building that we can speak to, by any chance ?”, I asked .

” Um no, no one really owns it, no one works there either, it seems to be abandoned, why ?, who do you wanna speak to anyway ?”, the man asked .

” Well, you see, we were gonna be doing something in there, my mate has organized this event and we sort of need to borrow it for the day, is that alright ?”, I said .

” Is that alright ?, haha, of course it’s alright, no one really uses that building anyway, it hasn’t been used since 1967, it’s a shit hole, I’m glad that someone is finally putting it up to good use, otherwise, it’s just some boring old warehouse that no one really knows about, I can show you around if you like ?”, the man asked .

” Um nah, it’s ok, I think we got it, there’s not really much to look at anyway, but cheers ”, I replied .

” Yeah, it’s like saying that, so for an example, so like say if you have a Khazie shop that only sells Khazies, the only thing you’re gonna see is a Khazie, there’s no point really doing a tour for anything, because all you’re gonna see is a Khazie, and probably some shit too, but mostly a Khazie, you know what I mean ”, Emmett said .

” Well duh, it’s a Khazie shop, of course you’re gonna see a Khazie, actually, speaking of which, is there one around here somewhere ?”, Jamie asked .

” Yeah, like a pot, where you urinate in, like a piss pot, urinal pot, the Pandora’s box of the Greek gods, where it goes ” Wheeee ”, oh fuck ”, Travis said .

” Ay ?”, the man said, as he looked at him, clueless . Didn’t know what he meant by this so called Piss Pot .

” Piss Pot ”, Travis said .

” But what’s piss pot, I don’t know piss pot, we don’t have it, we don’t have piss pot ”, the man said .

” He means Khazie ”, Dominick said .

” You could have just said that, you didn’t have to say piss pot, Jesus Christ ”, Johnny said .

” So, is there a Khazie around here, I’m bursting, I’m gonna piss me self ”, Jamie asked .

” Yes, it’s just round the corner, you turn around and it’s just on your left, just make sure you flush, yeah ?, don’t fucking clog it ”, the man said . ” Took me ages to unclog it, the other day, a thick bit of shit got stuck in the pipes, it’s like fucking gorundes ”, he added . { In a Greek accent}

” Nice one, cheers ”, Jamie said and he went to go to the toilet .

” What, is that where the Khazie is, it’s like a fucking temple, so you’re telling me he’s gonna shit in there ?, Puh ”, Emmett said . ” He’s gonna stink the place out, he’s gonna do fucking Grundel ”, he added .

” It could have been much worse, Emmett, I had to shit in a bucket once, if you shit in a bucket, it becomes the bucket, if you piss in a bucket, it becomes the bucket ”, Kevin said .

” Haha, you Haha, why would you piss in a bucket ?”, Emmett asked .

” Look, just don’t ask that question ”, Kevin said .

” Why though ?, why, why don’t you want me to ask you that question ?”, Emmett asked .

” Because, you don’t want to hear the story about a lump of shit dropping into a bucket, you can save it for another day, save some for later, you know what I mean ?, never really, it’s probably best if you don’t hear it ever, but perhaps when you see someone pissing in a bucket, you can remind yourself of the piss bucket story ”, Kevin replied .

” Superb ”, I said, sarcastically . Then suddenly, Jamie comes running out .

” Oh look, it’s Jamie, looks like he’s done pissing, Bloody hell, what the fuck happened to his knickers, put some knickers on, you dirty old git, hey Jamie, you pissing ?, are you pissing whilst you’re talking to me ?, yeah, he’s definetely pissing ”, Emmett said .

” Who the fuck is throwing eggs at the Khazie ?”, Jamie shouted .

” What, there’s someone chucking eggs at the portable Khazie, who the fuck is chucking eggs at the cabin ?, where the fuck did they find eggs ?, bastards ”, Emmett shouted .

” I don’t know, some mad nutter, one after the other, just chucking them, fucking looney, who the fuck let this geezer into the country ?”, Jamie said . ” I just found cracked egg shells and raw egg yoak all over the floor, now my socks are wet, who the fuck wanna die ”, he added .

” Do you even know who did it ?, did you manage to see who it was or did he just run off without trace ”, I asked .

” Well no, I couldn’t see him, he just ran off, but I know for sure, that it was a geezer ”, Jamie said .

” Hm, ok ok, I’m telling, if I see him, Hmmmmm, I’m gonna properly throttle him, you know what I’m gonna do, I’m gonna give him a ruddy good punch on the nose, then I’m gonna force feed him the egg shells, make squidge happen in his throat, cause man’s asking for it, bloody bastard ”, Emmett said .

” Guys, come on, we’re not actually gonna beat him up, are we ?, what if it’s a kid who’s doing this, we’re not actually gonna knock his teeth out, that’s cruel, kids will be kids, we were that age too, once ”, Johnny said .

” I know, but no kid or geezer gets away with egging my best mate, if you decide to egg my best mate, I’m gonna egg them too, but this time, it’s not gonna be with eggs, it’s gonna be with my fists ”, Emmett replied .

” If you could get your hands out of your pockets on time, by the time your moment comes up, they’ll still be in your pockets, they’ll be like a wet fish ”, Kevin said .

”Um, am I here or what ?, am I just a hilucination, oh don’t worry about me, baby, I’m just a hilucination, I guess I’ll just disappear ”, Jamie said .

” Yeah, you know what, let’s just go and see who’s doing this ”, I said. Then, the person chucked another egg at Jamie .

” Ah, bastard, bastard ”, Jamie shouted .

” Another one, bloody hell, I wonder who’s doing it, probably some low life who just got dumped by his woman and he’s just learned how to throw eggs, this geezer really believes that he has ball throwing skills, well let’s see it then, fucking get this geezer off the planet and send him to the fucking moon ”, Emmett said, then he threw a rock at the wind and it ended up breaking a piece of plastic on a shop’s roof top and just stared into the sky .

” Ooo, watch it go, off it goes, yeah, and the point of that is ?, what the fuck are you doing, I way way ?”, Travis said .

” Yes Trav, I’m doing I way way ”, Emmett said .

” Bloody hell, it wrieks, it stinks, it’s all on my jumper and there’s, oh, what’s this, errr, is that squidge, it’s bloody squidge ?”, Jamie said, as he smelt his jumper.

” Oh, one minute, I’ve got an idea, come with me ”, Kevin said, and he walked off .

” What idea do you have, Kevin, where are you bloody going ?, you ”, I said .

” Ohh, an idea, exciting, well let’s see it then ”, Johnny said . { Then Kevin walked off} .

” You know, sometimes I wonder, what the fuck is he doing ?”, Dominick said . The man who was chucking eggs at the cabin had a flask. In that flask, he had some coffee and that coffee was soon to be contaminated by Kevin. He was going to put the squidge in his coffee. Jamie was waiting for ages to do this . The man was gonna be hit by his share of Karma . He went to go and put Squidge in his coffee and just left the scene, waiting for the man to come back and drink it . The man came back after a few minutes later .

” Jesus Christ, this man’s coming in like he’s fucking, like he’s fucking Mr Magarbee or some shit, I say ” F you, Magarbe, I’m gonna fucking do you with this blade, you fucking Bulgaria ”, Emmett said .

” Oh Jesus, who’s this now, coming along like he’s bloody Amarillo ”, Dominick said .

” Oh please, just cut him some slack ”, I said . Then he walks up to them, holding an egg in his hand.

” Hey boys, look what I’ve got, I’ve got an egg, you know what I’m gonna do with it, you’ll soon find out ”, the man said .

” Oh, that egg isn’t gonna go down well, I’m telling you, hm m ”, Travis said . Then he ran up to the cabin where the toilet was, knocked on the door and opened the door really fast .

” Hey, you git, they’ve gone without you ”, the man said . { Jamie opened the door and the kid chucked another egg at him}

” Oh shit ”, Jamie said .

” Haha, you think I’m stupid, you think I’m stupid, you twat, haha, you wally ”, the man said and he left and he went to go and have his coffee.

” Hey man, you looking for this ?”, Kevin asked .

” Cheers ”, the man said and he took the coffee .

and pulled out the squidge with his hands.

” Every bloody time ”, the man said .

” Hahaha, you wanker ”, Jamie said, as he started laughing, then everyone started laughing .

” It’s not funny ”, the man said .

” It’s quite funny ”, Dominick said .

” Ruined my coffee ”, the man said and he chucked it on the floor and it went all over the place and then he walked off .

” hoh, what a waste, parasite ”, Emmett said .

” Ok, what the hell am I supposed to do now, I’m fucking drenched in shit ”, Jamie shouted .

” Jamie, mate, just get out of the Khazie, then go round the back, that way, he’ll stop throwing eggs at cha, come on, Jamie, you know it makes sense ”, Travis said .

” What’s that gonna do ?”, Jamie asked .

” It can give you full protection against egg, that’s what it’s gonna do, it’s not rocket science ”, Travis said .

” What a load of old shit, I don’t believe every word of it, it’s lefty looney, load of bollocks ”, Jamie said .

” Well, you can stink then, that’s on you . I tried to help but you rejected it, that’s what happens when you don’t listen to the voice of reason, you die ”, Travis said .

” Look, let’s just leave this geezer alone, we did that squidge thing in his coffee, we can get out of this place, no harm done, it’s probably fine anyway, just leave it in the past, it’s done now, you can move on ”, Johnny said .

” Yeah, you’re right, there’s no relevancy to that anymore ”, I said. ” Can’t mope about it all the ruddy day ”, I added .

” What about me though ?, what about my trousers, they stink, I can’t be seen walking across the street with these, it wrieks, people are gonna take the piss ”, Jamie said .

” Don’t worry, I’ll give you a new pair when we get back home ”, I said .

” Oh cheers ”, Jamie said .

” So, are we gonna go and do this thing then or are we just gonna stand here all day, doing nothing, you waste time like that ”, Dominick said .

” Of course, let’s go and do it, Emmett, you do the honors, you know where the building is, can you walk us there ?, I’ve never been here before, I don’t know this place ”, I said . ” Can you do the honors and show us where this place is ?”, I asked .

” Of course I can, it should be somewhere down there, I remember seeing it somewhere around here ”, Emmett said .

” Sounds like we need a cumpas, cause we have no idea where we’re bloody going ”, Johnny said .

” No, you don’t need no cumpas for this, you joking ?, you don’t need a cumpus for finding a place that’s nearby, it’s a bit of exploring, that’s why it’s so fun, a bit of a treck, but that’s the whole point, if you get help for everything, it’s not as fun, it’s problem solving, you know what I mean, it’s good to know ”, I said .

” Yeah, save that for a time where we get stuck in a field ”, Travis said .

” We’re not gonna get stuck in a field ”, I said .

” I’m just being honest here ”, Travis said .

” Well sometimes, honesty is not the best policy ”, Johnny said .

” Yes, but it isn’t, because we’re not gonna get stuck in a fucking field ”, I said . ” You are a typical, Idiotic, Pebble Dashing, inverted, hypocretical, back stabbing, Pretentious cunt ”, I said .

” Yes ”, Travis said . Poor Travis, didn’t look like he wanted to be there .

” Say it with me, I am a typical, idiotic, pebble dashing, inverted, hypocretical, back stabbinl, pretentious cunt ”, I said . ” Well go on then, say it then, we’re not going anywhere, not until you say it ”, I added .

” Bloody hell, what are you doing, stop being a git ”, Travis said, under his breath. Emmett and Kevin started laughing .

” Say it, fucking say it, so everyone can hear you as well, nice and loud, act like you don’t give a shit ”, I said.

” I am a typical, idiotic, pebble dashing, inverted, hypocretical, back stabbing, pretentious cunt ”, Travis said .

” You are basically a total sh ”, I said, but before I got to the next bit, Emmett barged in and interrupted .

” What has any of that got to do with anything, you just called him pebble dashing, what does that mean ?”, Emmett said. ” What is this, fucking fun house, you’re like ” Oh yeah, we’re both pebble dashing, inverted twats ”, get fucked, both of you ”, he said .

” I’m joking, I’m joking, I don’t mean any of that, it’s just a bit of banter, you’re not a typical, idiotic, pebble dashing, inverted, hypocretical, pretentious cunt ”, I said .

” Oh well, that’s something, isn’t it, Gordon Bennett ”, Travis said .

” Travis, are you upset ?”, I said to wind him up .

” Haha, no of course not, I’m way past that now, anyway, it’s a stupid joke, stupid joke ”, he added, then we started walking .

” Well, let’s see what’s gonna happen then, let’s see if it’s just one big surprise, there better not be some geezer who’s hiding in a cupboard, who suddenly jumps out and goes ” Surprise ”, if there is, I’d run a mile ”, Jamie said .

” Why would there be a cupboard in here anyway, it’s a fucking warehouse ”, Emmett said .

” I know, but at some point, somewhere, there’ll be a cupboard, Death !!!!, death is coming, death is here, death is outside, who’s that knocking on the door, oh yeah, it’s death, one of you will die today, don’t know who, but someone’s gonna die today ”, Jamie said .

” You don’t half talk a lot of Pony, you can talk the talk but you can’t walk the walk, that’s exactly what you can’t do, and rightly so ”, Emmett said .

” Stop it with all this death bullshit, no one’s gonna die, not in here anyway, the man told us that this place was abandoned, I’m sure there’s no one in here ”, I said .

” Yeah right, the man, the man told us, you’re gonna believe him, I swear to god, that geezer had no clue what he was on about, he wasn’t half there, and all that shit about pigeons, the man’s gone mad, he’s going senile, I’m telling you, man, he’s not the right person to be getting information from, believe you me, I can spot the early stages ”, Emmett said .

” The early stages of what ?”, I asked .

” The early stages of going mad, he’s turning into a recloose, believe me, Liam, he’s gone senile, did you see how he stared at Dominick, the man looked like fucking Norman Bates ”, Emmett replied .

” Yeah, he’s a proper Nostra fucking darmas ”, Kevin said .

” Well, he’s not really Norman Bates, is he ?”, I asked .

” He could be, I’m not surprised, he looks like a fucking tramp, don’t be fooled by his looks, he’s a fucking man eating bastard ”, Emmett said .

” Right well, at least we got away from him, we’re gonna go in there and we’re gonna do our thing and then we’re gonna get the hell on out of this shit hole ”, I said .

” What a great mindset to have, it’s good to see that you respect your elders, even though he was demented, it’s nice to see, you know ?”, Johnny said .

” Oh Johnny, wait until you get to my age, things just won’t make sense like they used to ”, I said. ” When we get older, we change, the world seems different, even everyone around us seem different, but you keep your wits about ya, you won’t change, you will get older, yes, but your soul never dies, you just go out there, be yourself, be nice, respect one another and you’ll always be alright ”, I said .

” But change is a good thing, right ?”, Johnny asked .

” Yeah, it depends on the situation, but yeah, sometimes, change is a good thing and we all need change in order to move on in life ”, I said .

” Boooo, you boring git, how long is this gonna go on for, is this like the emotions club, everyone sheds a few tears and opens up about their personal lives, I’ve got something to say ”, Emmett said .

” Oh, what have you got to share, Emmett, is there something on your mind ?”, I asked .

” Um yeah, so basically, this morning, I woke up, I took a shit, I spent ages sitting on the Khazie, right after that, I had a sore bum, the shit just wouldn’t flush. ” Welcome to my fucking abnormal life ”, he said . ” Fucking hell, this is like The Breakfast Club ”, he added .

” Emmett, I wasn’t expecting you to say that, you’re starting it off on the wrong foot, we were having an honorable discussion about life here, and you start going on about how you took a massive shit, what the fuck ”, I said .

” Well, I do feel a lot better now that I’ve got it off my chest ”, Emmett said .

” Well, that’s good, I guess, that’s why we talk, Emmett, if we be more open about certain things and it makes you feel better, at the end of the day, it takes the huge weight off our shoulders ”, I said .

” Haha, is there something wrong with your bum ?”, Kevin asked, and he started laughing .

” Oh, you wanna be in my shoes, let’s see how you feel when you take a massive shit ”, Emmett said .

” Oh, I know what it’s like to take a massive shit, when you can actually have the ability to push out a healthy shit and you don’t look like fucking Bambit, when your legs don’t work like they used to before and you don’t change your trousers ”, Kevin said .

” Bring it on, arse hat, carry on talking about shit, see how much has changed from then ”, I said .

” Oh this is unbelievable, fucking hell, when can we actually get into this building, what is this, The Breakfast Club / Hanky Panky Meal Time, when will one of you actually open your eyes, look up and see what’s going on, we’re just standing here, acting like we have stuff to share, just so we can distract ourselves from our own problems, I mean, what in your right mind made you wanna talk about shit anyway ?, how is that news worthy ?”, Jamie asked .

” Well, it’s not, that’s one thing, this geezer honestly has no idea what he’s on about ”, Travis said .

” Yeah well, I’ve got nothing interesting to say, there’s nothing interesting and exciting that has happened in my life, what am I gonna say, what, that I went to the post office and saw some dog shitting against a lampost, you guys don’t wanna hear about that, do you ?”, Emmett asked .

” Well no, but say something, at least, we’re on this planet for such a short amount of time, you might as well use your time for important things, otherwise, you just drive yourself fucking mad, then the next thing you know, you’re in the local newspaper, your name, cause of death and your birth details are leaked all over the place, with no explanation as to why you went mad in the first place ”, I said .

” Yeah, like that geezer in the newspaper, this morning, don’t be stressed otherwise you’re gonna end up like him ”, Emmett said .

” Yeah, do you know who that geezer is, by any chance ”, I asked .

” I dunno, some man named Gumbiss ”, Emmett replied .

” Gumbiss, who the fuck is Gumbiss ?, what is a Gumbiss ?”, Dominick asked .

” The man in the newspaper, the one me and Liam were reading, this morning, I think he did a runner, I mean, that’s what it looked like, you can’t be too sure, he definetely did time though, there’s no doubt about that ”, Emmett replied . ” It doesn’t take you that much to be in prison nowadays, you can do fraud and still get arrested, even the smallest thing, even if you nick a packet of crisps, you still get sent to prison, I didn’t get arrested for that, I got sent to prison for GBH, but still, it’s simple to get sent to prison, one mistake and you’re on thin ice ”, Emmett said .

” Fucking hell ”, I said, under my breath .

” What prison ?”, Jamie asked .

” Wormwood Scrubs, innit, of course it had to be wormwood scrubs, it couldn’t be anything else ”, Emmett replied .

” Bloody hell, you have to be thick skinned to get into that place, I’m telling you, it’s a miracle you came out alright ”, Jamie said .

” But yeah no, that geezer definetely did a runner, he doesn’t look like the kind who would just stay in his flat and watch the world go by, he’s got other stuff on his mind, long live, RIP Gumbiss, I doubt that’s his real name, but RIP ”, Johnny said .

” Yeah, long live Gumbiss, I don’t even know this geezer, why am I giving him a send off, oh well, now that it’s done, we can leave him in peace ”, I said .

” Yeah, RIP Gumbiss ”, Travis said with a sigh . Then, suddenly, Emmett started laughing, he just started gigging, whatever for. I swear, this geezer finds anything funny, him and Kevin. They’re just as worse as each other .

” Emmett, why are you laughing ?, this is serious, a man has just died, a man has killed himself in the woods, why are you laughing ?”, I said . ” This isn’t a laughing matter, my friend, this is a serious matter, you laughing man ”, I added .

” I’m sorry, I just can’t get over the fact that he’s wearing women’s pants, haha, oh god, oh shit ”, Emmett said .

” Yeah, so ?, why is that a problem to you, Jesus Christ, the man wore weird clothes, he had a weird fashion sense, so what ?, you’re not gonna die in sheep skin and a golden cape, are you ?, fucking hell, give me a reason ”, I said .

” Well yeah, but who dies and lies in a coffin whilst he’s dressed like Ziggy Stardust, that’s just shit, innit, he looked like that geezer who dropped his glove and started singing that song, Drop Me Glove, it’s like ” Drop me glove, drop me glove ”, you know that song though, it’s a bit shit, innit ?”, Emmett said .

” Well yeah, but he wasn’t dressed as David Bowie though, he wore a black coat and wore shades, that picture was taken in the late 60s, it wasn’t in colour, we didn’t have colour in the 60s, so they just did it in black and white ”, I said .

” Are you sure it wasn’t Joe Meek, that article came out at the same time as his death ”, Jamie asked .

” It could be, yeah, but why would it say Gumbiss though ”, Emmett said .

” You probably read the wrong article, I think that’s what it is ”, Johnny said .

” Oh yeah, I probably did, it’s definetely Joe Meek though, he went mad and killed himself straight after, so it’s probably that ”, I said .

” Yeah, but oh god, remember that geezer though, bloody hell, man, what a genius, do you remember the music he did in his apartment, he could fucking get a geezer to play the drums on the stairs and it would still come out great ”, Dominick said .

” I was there when it happened as well, I lived a few blocks down from Holloway Road, before I moved here, it’s some mad shit, I’m telling you, I’ve never seen anything so mad in my life, heard the gunshots as well, that was right after he shot the land lady, no one even knew what happened in there. Man exploded and then he evaporated into a cloud of pink dust, poor geezer, he was a genius but he was a very troubled man and he just couldn’t run away from his problems and the only way to get rid of the pain was to kill himself, he just needed sleep, then he would have been fine ”, Jamie said .

” Yeah, I believe he was driven mad by his inner genius ”, I said .

” Yeah, I think ever since then, he just fully detereorated and everyone slowly walked away from him, he was a bit of an odd ball, really, but a genius and his legacy still shines on through the music we have today ”, Emmett said .

” Yeah, remember those tracks though, sick, man, when those came out in the 60s, my dad had these cassettes, they’ve all gathered dust, cause they’re in the cellar, but I remember hearing those songs all day every day, just back to back, from start to finish, all over and over again, pretty sick stuff ”, I said .

” Yeah, at least we still have the music, it’s the only thing getting us through these tough times, what would life be like if we didn’t even have music, who knows, it would be like the twillight zone ”, Johnny said .

” Yeah definetely, music definetely makes life a lot better, a lot easier, keeps you on your toes, keeps you dancing all night long ”, Travis said .

” Yeah, in the newspaper, it said Mad Man Dead, I’m guessing that’s wrong as well, come to think of it, I think it said ” Pop Man And Woman Shot Dead ” ”, Emmett said .

” Yeah. Right, enough of that, it’s time for gang war, who’s ready ?”, I asked .

” Meeeeeee ”, everyone said at once .

” Well, I think we should get going, it’s almost 3 30, we didn’t even do anything yet, where’s all the time gone ”, I said .

” We spent five hours talking about the death of Gumbiss, that’s why it feels like the day’s almost over ”, Johnny said .

” Don’t do this, don’t make fucking waves, go and open the door, you know what you sound like ?, you sound like a Natzie Paul Mcartney, fucking step up, step up, just open the door, I’ve had enough of this ”, Emmett said .

” How the fuck am I supposed to open the door if I’m down here ?, tell me how, I’m not a bloody wizzard ”, Dominick said .

” Just open the door, someone has to, how else are we gonna get in ?”, I said .

” I’ll do it, I’m willing to put myself forward for gate keeper ”, Travis said .

” Thank you, Travis, you are really a gentleman when it comes to doors, you know that ?”, I said .

” Yeah yeah, just go inside ”, Travis said .

” This Charming man ”, I sang .

” Shuttttttttt ”, Emmett shouted. We all went inside, we all followed after Jamie.

” Ooo, a door ”, Johnny said .

” Oh fucking hell, I totally forgot it was a pull door, I was pushing it the whole time, silly me, silly silly billy I am ” Travis said .

” That used to happen all the time back at home, these geezers from the council fitted in a new door and it appeared to be a pull door, everyone kept pushing it, it was as if the door would just open like that, I have no clue what we were doing, we all need severe help, all of us, still ”, Johnny said .

” So, you know how I feel ”, Travis said. ” Tis confusion ”, he shouted .

” I couldn’t have said it better myself. There’s thousands of doors of all shapes and sizes, big and small, different contraptions, ones that you push, ones that you pull, nothing is simple anymore, why can’t it just be like the good old days, why can’t you just not have all these locks, all these keyholes, you don’t need all that, what you need, is a door that you can use to come in and out, that’s really all you need, nothing makes sense anymore, you couldn’t figure it out if you tried ”, Jamie said . ” Technology is getting more and more advanced by the minute, we’re just getting into the bare nitty gritty of it all, I mean, I don’t even know what a normal door looks like anymore, it looks like a tardis, a big green tardis ”, Jamie said . ” Technology is more advanced and it’s only 88, maybe in the 90s, more stuff will come in ”, he added .

” Come on, Jamie, you’re still behind, you’ve gotta catch up, mate, I think they’re going that way, come on, follow me ”, Travis said .

Then, Travis and Jamie followed us through the building. The building itself looked interesting . It was old and new at the same time, some wouldn’t even believe those who say it’s abandoned, if anything, it looked new. Perhaps, it had some work done, perhaps it got refurbished. If I’m honest, I was expecting much worse, I was expecting to see a building that had mould on the walls, I was expecting to walk beneath a ceiling that looks like it was about to collapse and fall on our heads, but turns out, it was an normal, ordinary warehouse. As we walked through the corridors, I began seeing some weird shit . It reminded me of my old school in so many ways. Coming into the reception to get marked in by the receptionist, saying goodbye to all the parents and carers, then we’re on our way to our first class for our first lesson of the day, ready to learn . It brought back thousands of memories. I don’t know why though, it wasn’t a school, it was a warehouse, that supplies sausages or soaps, possibly. The human mind is weird sometimes . This warehouse was rather strange . How do I put it into words, um, I’ll say it was very zany. It was a mix of claustraphobia and pure dementedness. You would have the constant feeling of knowing that something weird is gonna happen, and by weird, I mean weird, get me out of this fucking place kinda weird. You would often feel like someone or something might jump out and scare you shitless, it’s really hard to make out whether it’s a ghost or if it’s Kevin or Emmett, but when you’re there, experiencing five hundred things at once, you’ll soon find out. Johnny was looking over his shoulder, every minute of every second, that gave me the indication to say that he had a bad feeling about this place, or if it was just paranoia kicking in. Found the right time to let it show as well, bloody hell, talk about cutting it fine .

” And we’re in, oh bloody hell, I really hope that nothing jumps out and scares us ”, I said .

” There’s nothing here, it’s empty, see ?, there’s nothing there, you shitter ”, Emmett said .

” I have a right to be a shitter, look at this place, does it look like the ideal place to fuck with some geezers ”, I said .

” Anything will do, if I’m honest, it’s better than nothing ”, Johnny said .

” Man, you’re gonna see some serious shit, I’m telling you, just wait until we get to work, those geezers will run a mile, they’ll leave a trail of shit behind each and every one of them ”, Emmett said .

” This really does look sick though, we’re gonna be running around right about here and to think that we’re gonna be causing absolute havvock in this place, is something else, I really can’t fathom the fact that this place is ours for the day ”, Jamie said .

” Yeah, let’s see if that geezer really meant all the things he said about this place ”, I said .

” Well, he didn’t really say that much, he just said it was a soap factory in the 60s, that’s about it, really ”, Dominick said .

” Yeah, this place is mad though, the way how the walls are slanted, the way how it smells, the liveliness of everything that brought this building close together, the people who worked here, absolutely incredible, ladies and gentlemen, this is the view that almost took my breath away ”, Johnny said .

” Alright, let’s be honest here, it ain’t that great, you’re acting like it’s Venice or something, if it takes your breath away, it’s probably asthma, it ain’t done by cupids and love shit birds, you’re just slowly dying in the world of shite ”, Travis said .

” Yeah exactly, this place just creates the buzz of a dead bee, I don’t even know why it’s still up here, if it has no use, then what’s the point of keeping it ”, I said .

” Well, how about this then, if it wasn’t here, we wouldn’t be here, doing this thing, so thank goodness they didn’t knock it down and turn into something else ”, Emmett said .

” Yeah, that’s true, actually. It’s a shit place, but each to their own, you know what I mean ”, Dominick said .

” Hm ”, I said . ” Look, guys, I think we ought to keep going, you know, time doesn’t stand still ”, I added .

” Well, in another world, it does, except, it doesn’t stand still, it runs, it does the worm, you know the worm ?, yeah, it does that, it’s kind of weird but that’s science, I guess it proves that time doesn’t stand still, it moves on it’s stomach, like really fast, imagine if you picked up that shit in the park, you’re gonna need a fucking bin liner ”, Kevin said .

” Yeah yeah, come on, let’s go ”, I said. We carried on walking through the hallway and the corridors .

” Oooo, this is some spooky shit, no wonder this place is abandoned, no one has the balls to step foot in this place ”, Jamie said .

” Jamie, please, I swear to god, if you walk behind me again, I’m gonna fuck you up ”, Emmett said .

” Charming ”, I said .

” This is gonna be fun ”, Johnny said. ” Would you like to have fun, fun, laugh, would you like to piss your pants, would you like to ”, Johnny sang .

” Ohhhhh god ”, Everyone said at once .

” Oh bloody hell, I promised myself I wouldn’t sing ”, Johnny said .

” Johnny, at some point in your life, did you really think that you would become the next John Leyton ?”, Dominick asked .

” Well duh, that’s my name, my first name is Johnny, so, technically, yes, I did ”, Johnny replied .

” Well, you can’t, I’m sorry, but there’s only one John Leyton and he’s probably dead ”, Dominick said .

” Nah, I checked, he’s still alive, after all those years, he’s a lot older, of course but he’s still around ”, Travis said .

” Oh is he, oh alright ”, Dominick said .

” Yeah, you still can’t be him though, just be yourself, that’s all you can really do ”, Travis said .

” Oh man, talk about a gut punch ”, Johnny said .

” Right guys, do we have any idea where we’re going ?”, I asked .

” Yeah, a bit of both, yes and no, but mostly no ”, Kevin replied .

” Oh fucking hell ”, I said .

” It’s fine, just keep going a bit further ”, Jamie said . After a few minutes later, we got to where we needed to be. We were ready to start our business, we were just standing around, waiting . Took us long enough, it really took us five and a half hours to find our way around, but we got there in the end. It looked like we were the only ones there.

” This is wicked, we’re like the only ones here, I don’t know if that’s a good thing or a bad thing ”, Travis said .

” Oh, it’s definetely a good thing, we have more time to prepare ”, I said . ” I mean, would you wanna be in the middle of something whilst you can barely throw a punch, you need time to see where you’re at, this will give us enough time to prepare, then we’re raring to go, we’ve got nothing to lose anyway, it’s not like we’re gonna kill them but still, it’s nice to make an effort ”, I said .

” Ooffff, it fucking stinks in here, it’s almost like someone’s done a grundal in here, don’t they know that they have guests, fucking stinkers ”, Emmett said .

” Emmett, calm down, no one did a rot gut, no one’s even here, it’s abandoned, remember, there’s no one here but us ”, Johnny said .

” Yeah but still, it’s fucking pissing in here, bloody stinks, if I could, I would pull my trousers down and do a massive shit right in front of them, let it go through their nostrils and choke em to death, bloody layabouts ”, Emmett said .

” Oh, Please don’t shit, no please don’t shit, it’s not worth it, no one likes cleaning up shit straight afterwards, that’s like the worst job anyone can have, imagine doing that whilst reciting some script or something, I can’t imagine how awful it would be, imagine going over a song or a screen play whilst getting rid of a piss stain, it’s like the worst thing in the world, thank goodness I didn’t get a job, I just did my exams, did whatever I needed to do and then I just graduated at Uni, that’s really all I did, to be honest, I don’t think I wanna get a job, any time soon, maybe in the future, but not now ”, I said . Meanwhile, Johnny and Travis were having a chat .

” Hey johnny, can I tell you something interesting about this place, did you know that famous bands used to perform and record albums in this place ?”, Travis said .

” What, you taking the piss, bands used to record music in this place, nah, nah, nah man, you’re taking the mickey ”, Johnny said .

” Nah yeah, bands used to come here and record albums, I remember seeing it on the news once, it totally came to my surprise when I found out ”, Travis said .

” Right, so you’re saying that, bands used to come here and make music, like Duran Duran, Spandau Ballet, Queen, they came here to record albums, nah man, no way, they couldn’t have did it all here, this place is like an asylum ”, Johnny said .

” Yeah, they all came here and did stuff, it’s kinda crazy, if you think about it, where we’re walking, we’re walking along the four walls of this building, this is were band members recorded music, could you imagine, being in this place while all that is going on, you’d hear the music blasting through the walls ”, Travis said .

” Who’d the thought ?, who’d the thought ?, that this place that we’re in, this absolute shit hole, used to be a studio where all those legends used to record their music, I’m, I’m speechless, I’m actually speechless, I just can’t believe it ”, Johnny said . ”But wait a minute, didn’t that man say that this place was a soap factory ?, isn’t that what he said ?”, Johnny asked .

” Nah, do you really believe him, do you really believe that geezer, he had no idea what he was on about, what was he on about, soap factory ?, I doubt there were soap factories around here in the 60s, anyone who mentioned anything about a soap, people would think that you’re mad, it’s either that or they know that you’re mad, there’s no way this building was a soap factory, there’s just no way, no bloody way ”, Travis replied .

” Let’s take a look around the building, while we still have time, I wanna show you something, quickly ”, Johnny said .

” What are you gonna show me, it better not be the window, it better not be, I’m not walking all that way just to see a window, there’s plenty of glass stained windows here, if you stare at the window for too long, you’ll go mad, I’m telling you, Johnny, I’m not doing it, nah ”, Travis said .

” Nah man, come on, follow me, I’m gonna show you this thing ”, Johnny said and he held his arm and dragged Travis with him . I honestly have no idea what caught Johnny’s interest, you see nothing but some arch that’s attached to the wall, that can’t be it, if that caught Johnny’s interest, I’d run a mile . Meanwhile, Kevin and Dominick were walking around, having a look around, having a chat, I have no idea what they were talking about though, I was right down there, I couldn’t hear a thing, except it echoes, so you could just hear the wind instead .

” Bloody hell, never in my life had I thought that I would be doing this, god, what am I doing with my life, honestly, does Emmett really think this is a good idea, does he really think that pissing someone off in an old building is a good idea, wow, I wonder about him sometimes, you know ?, he’s bloody demented ”, Dominick said .

” We should just get this thing over with, it’s not gonna take up the whole thing, let’s just do this and then, let’s just hope that Emmett won’t keep bringing it up again, yeah, I know he’s mad, but we’re all mad sometimes, it’s not his fault that he’s mad, we all have that little extra thing that makes us go mad sometimes, I flipped out once, I ended up chucking a onion at someone, I calmed my nerves a little bit, I felt a lot better, but the after effects of knowing that I probably almost killed someone stayed with me, If Emmett wants to do this, then I say good, at least it gets us out of the house for a little bit, we’re not stuck indoors all day, that’s the solution to going mad ”, Kevin said .

” Yeah, I just think it’s ridiculous, don’t you think it’s ridiculous ?, I mean, if Emmett wants to put up a fair fight, then that’s okay, those geezers have been annoying us for hours on end and they deserve a good hiding, but don’t you think that he’s making it hard for them, they’re not even doing anything, they’re just hanging around in their area and minding their own business, they haven’t attacked us in a while, why now ?, why should we go and attack them now ?”, Dominick said .

” Well, they’re gits, so, they deserve a good hiding, I’d love to see their faces as I whip them with my belt, give them some cummuppance, give them a taste of their own medicine, cause they need it, oh boy, do they need it in times like these ” Kevin said .

” What belt, honestly, you’re not gonna whip no one with a belt, you’re getting too cocky now, that kind of cocky can get you banged up in prison, let’s just hope you don’t get to use the belt, ever ”, Dominick said . ” Save some for later, you know what I mean ?”, Dominick added . A few minutes later, we were ready to start our gang war . We all lined up in rows, we waited long enough, I honestly don’t know how we kept sane during that time, I would of went mad in the first few minutes . And Emmett ?, well, there was a 100 % chance he would have flipped and attacked some random geezer in the street with Kevin’s belt and ended up getting sectioned and he would have been sentenced 5 years in prison, back to Worm wood Scrubs, where he spent most of his life .

” It’s time ”, Emmett said .

” Oh fuck off ”, Dominick said. A few minutes later, we started walking around in a line. We had no idea where those geezers were, I hope they remembered . Well, they probably didn’t, since we didn’t spread the word. How the fuck are we supposed to expect them to come and find us in this bloody building ?, god knows . Let’s just hope they turn up, somehow . I had no idea what we were gonna be doing, Emmett never shared the full plan with us, somehow he’s expecting us to know what’s gonna happen by reading his mind .

” So, what’s the plan ?”, I asked, I just had to ask, otherwise, how on earth are we supposed to know ?.

” Right, so, we go and run down the corridors, then, on the way out, we find a place to hide, hopefully those geezers will turn up at some point, if they don’t, then shame on them, they’re shitters, I’ll probably go down there with num chucks or something, but not now, we’re just gonna do this thing and get it over with, Kevin, don’t do that thing where you make a racket with your shoes, the amount of noise they make, they’re really bloody loud, so don’t jump, whatever you do, alright ?”, Emmett said .

” What, it’s not my fault my shoes make a lot of noise, they’re shoes, innit ?, you wear them on your feet, I don’t jump anyway, what sort of lunatic does a thing like that ?, certainly not me, that’s for sure ”, Kevin said .

” Great ok, so where were we, oh yeah, the plan, ok so, what we’re gonna do is beat their asses, show them a good time, it’s gonna be a right old laugh, they’re not expecting us as well, that makes it ten times better, it’ll be like a deranged version of The Shining, like Kevin’s gonna demolish a bit of the door and stick his head through and then he’s gonna shout ” Here’s Johnny ”, it’s gonna be so funny, innit Kevin ?”, Emmett asked .

” Yeah, that’s exactly what I’m gonna do, I’m gonna make Samuel shit himself, that’s what I’m gonna do, they don’t know who they are messing with, they’re messing with the big boys now, this is gonna be a great lead up to the rumble as well, it gets us prepared, both of us, them and us five ”, Kevin said .

” Oh, this is gonna be wicked, guys, I can’t wait for this, let’s just hope it goes as planned, I hope it’s not gonna be one massive flop, they better turn up, those geezers, they have to show themselves, those smug gits, acting like they’re better then us, just wait until I get my hands on them, then let’s see who’s tough or not ”, Emmett said .

” Yeah, they should though, innit, yeah, they should turn up, they could never let a thing like this pass ”, Johnny said .

” Well, come to think of it, they probably won’t, since you didn’t tell them, so it’s obvious, isn’t it ?, you should have planned it out a little bit better, it’s fine though, they’ll sense that we’re here, I see them hanging around down here anyway, so it should be fine, one can only hope ”, I said . A few minutes later, the Rejects turned up, they just came running in, but we didn’t see them, I guess that made it a surprise, it’s like willy nilly piss wizard, we don’t know what we’re doing sometimes. We could hear very faint voices in the distance, the voices sounded very similiar to all the members in the gang .

” Who the fuck is that ?, do you hear that ?, it sounds like the Rejects, are you hearing it, Liam ?”, Jamie asked .

” Yeah, I do hear it, do you think it’s them, I think it’s them, I really do think it’s them, Emmett, it sounds exactly like them as well, you can’t tell me that that’s not them ”, I said .

” Oh yeah, it’s very faint though, we could just about hear it, about time, I knew they would show up, I knew it, great, now we can get started, everyone, make sure you stay away from them, Kevin, you climb up and hide in that vent over there, try and see if you could hear what they’re saying ”, Emmett told Kevin .

” Oh what, the vent ?, oh man, why do you want me to hide in the vent ?, what are you, out of your mind ?”, Kevin said .

” Nah man, just go hide in the vent, that one over there, you see, that one, just go up there and hide ”, Emmett said .

” And how am I supposed to do that ?”, Kevin asked .

” Just clmb up there, you have muscles, Kevin, use them, use them and all your strength to get yourself up there, I know it might be a bit of a struggle, but you can do it, just get your ass up there and we could all do this properly, don’t do bodge, if you do, I’m gonna be really upset, you’re gonna let me down as a group, we need to work together as a team, dream makes the team, wait no, that’s not right, um, it’s um, oh bloody hell, I’m not so good with these sorts of things, you see ?”, Emmett said .

” Yeah yeah yeah, we get it, we get it, we should work together as a team, make this work, we’re gonna win this and we’re not gonna let Emmett down, he’s waited to do this for ages, let’s not bodge this up, we’re gonna have a good time today, let’s make this a night to remember, alright ?”, I asked .

” Well yeah, but the point is, is that we’re not here to have fun, that’s not what we are here for, the reason why we’re here, is to scare the shit out of those geezers and beat their asses, that’s why we’re here, alright ?, don’t take the piss ”, Travis said . ” None of this fun bullshit, we’re getting down to business, proper proper violence, well not a lot of violence, we’re not gonna kill them or anything, we’re just gonna piss them off and cheese them off to such an extent that they’ll just have enough with bothering us all the time ”, he added .

” Exactly, yeah, we’re not here to kill them or anything, but just annoy them a little bit, that’s all we’re after, really, nothing more, nothing less ”, Dominick said .

” Yeah, I mean, I’ll kill them anyway, it doesn’t matter when we do it or where we do it, but not today, that’s for sure, today is a day for us and that’s it, really ”, Emmett said .

” Yeah, right anyway, everyone’s here, I think we better get started, what do you reckon ?”, I asked .

”  Yeah, let’s go”, Johnny said . ” Oh god, look at us, doing this bloody thing ”, Johnny added, as he followed us . We started walking in a line .

” Christ, I’m knackered, my legs are hurting, bloody hell ”, Kevin said .

” What, already ?, we didn’t even do anything yet, we just walked, how are you knackered ?”, I asked .

” I don’t know, man, I don’t know, that’s just how it is, I get tired when I walk 10 steps, plus we just run around for the past few minutes, we’re running and running, but we don’t know where we’re bloody going, we keep going going but we’re going no where ”, Kevin said .

” Ok so, Emmett, when we get to that door, where do we go ?”, I asked .

” Right so, when we get to that door, I’ll give you some intructions, let’s just wait until we get there first, then I’ll tell you, alright Liam ?”, Emmett asked .

” Yeah ok, G, I do hope you know what you’re doing, you’re not gonna make us do some stupid shit, are you ?”, I asked .

” Nah, of course not, what, me ?, never, I don’t make you do stuff like that, I’m not that silly, the stuff I’m gonna make you do is not stupid, that’s for sure, if anything, it’s gonna be good, anyway, what do you mean by stupid shit ?, what do you mean by that ?”, Emmett asked .

” Oh you know, like make me hang on a high rope and do a summersault whilst hanging upside down, you’re not gonna make us do that, are you ?”, I said .

” Nah man, of course not, that’s ridiculous, what, do you still think that gang war evolves around trapeze and back flips ?, oh come on, Liam, we went over this, I said that this isn’t trapeze, it’s proper gang shit, I wouldn’t make you do summersaults anyway, what makes you think that ?, jesus, sometimes I wonder, what’s going on in that little mind of yours, you silly billy ”, Emmett replied .

” Ah ok cool, cool, I guess it makes sense ”, I said .

” Hey Liam, did you see how big this building is, I wouldn’t mind living here, if I’m honest with you, I think it would make a great home ”, Travis said .

” You’re not living in a soap factory, Travis, alright, you’re not living in a building that supplies thousands of fucking soaps, alright ?, nah, that’s shit ”, Dominick said .

” This place doesn’t look too bad, it’s just a bit of TLC, you need a bit of imagination, that’s all ”, Jamie said .

” Guys, guys, stop talking about houses, we really need to stay on track here, we’ve got this thing going on, at the moment, let’s not bodge this up, alright, you’ve been talking enough shit as it is, let’s use our time for something more important, shall we ?”, Emmett said . ” I could just whack you with a toilet plunger until I get some sort of response out of ya, if I could, but I know that that’s not the case, cause if I did, I’d probably get arrested again, not like I’m scared shit of going to prison but you know, I’d probably get sent to HM prison Holloway, and I’m telling you, you do not wanna end up there, I’d rather just be clean and live a normal life, you know what I mean ?”, Emmett said . ” Hey, after this, do you wanna go to Wimpy ?, what do you reckon ?”, Emmett asked .

” Yeah definetely, man, I wouldn’t mind that, actually, a nice burger, especially after this ”, I said .

” Bloody hell, why are we still walking ?, where are we going, exactly ?, we’ve been walking for ages ”, Johnny said .

” We just need to walk a little bit more, the door’s over there anyway, when we get to the door, we can stop, it’s only over there anyway, this building is bloody huge, we must have been walking for ages, do you know how long we’ve been walking, how many miles, what do you reckon ?”, I asked .

” I don’t bloody know, you do the math ?, you told me had a degree in mathematics, what happened to that ?, you know, you studied that at uni, you might as well put it up to some sort of use, we’re walking an extra mile, you might as well fish out your calculations and start counting, before we begin to realize that we’re going no where and start to go mad ” Johnny said .

” I ain’t doing no math, ain’t nobody got time for that, I’d rather have no idea, to be honest ”, I said .

” Hey guys, you do know that those geezers are getting closer then before, if we don’t get a move on, they’ll find out that we’re here and all mayhem is gonna start, come on, there’s no time for all that now, we need to go, come on, follow me, I’ll give you further instructions ”, Emmett said .

” Alright sorry ”, I said . We hid behind a wall . We could hear the Rejects getting closer, even closer then before. It wasn’t over just yet, oh no, it was just the beginning, at the ending of a new chapter, there’s a beginning, that’s exactly what was happening here . The chapter wasn’t even ending, it was just starting again, like it always does, every time .

” Ok so, we hide here for a little while, we don’t get out, until it’s safe enough to do so. Then, we all go off and do our thing, Kevin’s gonna go and hide in the vent, Liam’s gonna go and enter that room over there, Travis and Johnny are gonna enter door 95 and they’re gonna hide in there for a while, Dominick’s gonna run in the corridor and make sure that the coast is clear, make sure no one’s coming through those doors, and Jamie, well, you’re gonna try and distract the Rejects, just distract them with something, anything, just distract them so that all of us can go and do our thing without them knowing, do I make myself clear ?”, Emmett asked .

” Yeah, but what are you gonna do, Emmett, you’re just gonna stand there, doing nothing, all of us have jobs except you, what are you gonna be doing ?”, I asked .

” Oh me ?, don’t worry about me, I’ll just be um, I’ll just be standing here, making sure that everything’s okay, and um, if I get bored, then I’ll go off and find something else to do, maybe I’ll get in on the action, there’s so much to do other then just staring at this wall ”, Emmett replied .

” Alright then ”, I said . Then suddenly, Kevin accidently got up and bumped his head on the cupboard. Kevin rarely bumps his hand, he’s not really a clumsy person, but when he’s in the middle of something stupid, then he’s garanteed to hurt himself in some of the most clumsiest ways ever . But that’s alright, we all injure ourselves. I stubbed my toe once, it was awful, I just smashed my table and pranced around the place whilst clutching my foot, my neighbors were very confused, they just peaked through their windows and stared at me whilst I was freaking out, that’s a marvelous memory, isn’t it, it’s crazy, you know, the things you remember .

” Ahhh, fucking hell, owww, who the hell put that there ?, fucking wooden cupboard, I’d punch you, you know, you do me like that, bloody turd ”, Kevin shouted .

” Kevin, bloody hell, are you alright ?, see, I told you, don’t get up quickly, otherwise you end up bumping your head, be careful, next time, you clumsy fucker ”, Emmett said .

” Yeah, well I didn’t know there was gonna be a bloody cupboard, didn’t I ?, what am I, a wizard ?, this isn’t the asylum verse, bloody hell, arghhh ”, Kevin said .

” I knew that there was gonna be a cupboard in this place, I told you, but you just dodged it, see that’s what happens when you don’t listen to the voice of reason, you end up dying of stupidity, you should listen to me, after all, I’m the one who brought this gang together, I’m not just a man, you know, the Eagles wouldn’t be a thing if it wasn’t for me, you lot would be doing boring jobs, like working in a shop or cleaning the rubbish off the streets, you’re like it didn’t go that way ”, Jamie said .

” Yeah I know, man, I just didn’t think there would be a cupboard here, it’s a warehouse, it’s not a carpenting shop, there’s no cupboard or anything, we come here to piss those geezers off, and maybe fight as well, but there’s no cupboard in the picture ”, Kevin said .

” Guys, we really should get a move on, you know, enough about plywood, there are a few geezers beating the shit out of each other in the corridor and we’re here, talking about plywood, what’s wrong with you lot, honestly ?, did you kicked in the head or something ?, did you bump your head, is that why you talk a lot of shit ?”, Emmett asked .

” Well yeah, I just bumped my head on that cupboard, if that’s what you mean ?”, Kevin asked .

” No that’s not what I meant, that’s not what I meant, use your common sense ”, Emmett said .

” Oh for god sake, fucking hell, man ”, Kevin said .

” Come on, you, get up, let’s go do this bloody thing, we can’t sit and moan all the ruddy day, have to get up and carry on, eventually, come on, everybody, onwards and upwards ”, Emmett said, and he helped Kevin up and we started walking again. We started sneaking around and running around the building .

” Ok, I tell you what, I’ll go this way, and you go that way ”, Emmett told us and he was off .

” Okey dokey, I guess it’s time we went our own ways, I’ll speak to you guys later, yeah ?, I’m off ”, I said, and I just ran off to go and my thing, which is run around a few times and see if I could prank or scare the Rejects . This is way more exciting then I thought it would be, Emmett’s obviously a nut case but god, does he know how to work the crowd ?, of course he does, he’s Emmett Yohanson, for goodness sake, he is highly strung for a reason, he’s always been mad . His parents are definetely missing out on all this, for sure, but if they knew what he was up to, they’d give him a good hiding, so it’s probably best if they don’t find out, otherwise there’s gonna be a lot of explaining to do . Anyway, back to the story, Emmett went off to do his own thing, I went to go and do my thing, I had no idea what I was gonna do, I was just running around in circles, running back and forth like a maniac, Johnny and Travis were walking together, they had no idea what sort of thing they were gonna pull off just yet, but they were coming up with some sort of plan, god knows what it’s gonna entail. Travis and Johnny are like a chaotic comedy duo . They’re always doing mad shit together, whilst Emmett is off, doing mad shit on the streets and just being an absolute phycho, Johnny and Travis are just doing their own thing, they always put on acts . Whether it’s a musical or just a really silly act, they’re always doing something and it’s garanteed to be demented .

” Hey Johnny, you know what we should do, we should do like an act ”, Travis said .

” An act ?”, Johnny asked .

” Yeah, like an act, like a comedy sketch to distract The Rejects, look, I think what we should do is, when we get into that room, we should walk in and start singing, like you know ?, I know it’s a little bit random and silly, but we’re always doing stuff like this, it would be hilarious, what do you reckon ?, do you think we should do it ?”, Travis asked .

” Yeah we should, that would be great, so, how are we gonna do this then ?”, Johnny asked .

” Well, I think, when we get in that room, the room that we’re supposed to be going in, then we just start singing and pretending that we are these characters, people would be so confused, it’ll be so funny, we can like put on a show, I’m sure those geezers will hate it but that’s the whole point ”, Travis replied .

” Ok, but only for today, it’s a one off thing, alright ?”, Johnny said .

” Yeah yeah it’s a one off thing, we’re only gonna do it today, I can’t imagine doing it more then once, that’s the plan anyway, I’m sticking to it, we’re gonna prank them and that’s all there is to it ”, Travis said .

” Oh I can’t wait for this, it’s gonna be wicked, I can’t wait to see the look on their faces and it will be even better, since no one else is here, the noise will echo off the walls, creating an absolute racket, it will be brilliant ”, Johnny said . ” Heeeeeehhheee, I can’t wait to do this, man, I really can’t, it’s gonna be sick, oh I can’t wait to go into that room now, let’s just go a bit faster, yeah ?”, he added .

” Yeah, get me that room, bloody hell, just bring it to me, you know what I mean, if we can’t get there, then you could bring the room to us, haha ”, Travis said and they were both laughing, they were so excited to do it, I have no idea what they’re gonna be doing, I have no idea what they have planned, let’s hope it’s nothing demented or too out of this world, I mean, I won’t be there to see them do it, I’ll be in the corridor, doing my owm thing, but let’s just hope they go with something normal and sensible and nothing too demented . Meanwhile, Kevin was hiding some vent that was attached to a wall, it’s sort like where the air curcilates, like a ventilation system, whatever the bloody hell it’s called, that’s where he’s hiding, at the moment, he’s listening to what the Rejects are saying as they spoke amongst themselves . The Rejects were below Kevin, he was right on top of them, meaning that he could hear everything what came out of their mouths . Their voices were very faint, Kevin could just about hear them . If they caught a glimpse of him, I highly doubt they did, but if they did, then they would be thinking ” Who the hell is that, why is there a geezer hiding in the vent ?”. Kevin was trying his very best to stay in the vent, he was using his strength to make his way around the vent, he was already almost hanging off, but he used all his strength to keep himself up there . As he was crawling around the vent, he was reciting some monologue, I have no idea what monologue it was or what film it came from, it could be from this film called Vasilu Strikes Back or Vasilu From Beyond The Grave or The Reincarnation Of A Woman Called Vasilu, for all I know, yeah nah, it’s shit, I don’t wanna go and watch that film, hell no, I don’t wanna see Vasilu . Who even is Vasilu ?, that’s the thing, innit, I don’t know who that is, who the fuck is Vasilu ?. I don’t even wanna know . Anyway, who the hell recites a monologue whilst they’re stuck in a vent ?, it’s Kevin obviously, he’s garanteed to do shit like that sometimes and I wonder why he sings and talks to himself during the night, it’s always Hazel Atkins and shit like that, it drives me crazy, I have no idea what keeps him up at night, he’s nuts, man, nuts .

” The woman rises from beneath the soil, clutching her hands together like she’s awakening from the dead, then she goes into someone’s house and puts a rose on the bedside table, she lets go of it whilst she picks up a cocker Spaniel, she stares at the ceiling whilst she’s holding her hand bag in one hand and a cocker spaniel in the other, she then learns that life ain’t no bed of roses, and that she must wake up and see what’s going on around her, she stood her ground, she fights back. It seems that she’s having an affair with her past lover, is she willing to leave the past behind and to start over or is she gonna go back to being dead. The lady soon realized that the life she wished for ain’t gonna go away, it’s here to stay, she stamps her feet on the wooden floor and scares her dog in the process, the dog looks at her like ” What are you doing ?”, she then goes mad and goes completely out of control, she looks at her hand and talks to herself, the lady says, Ohhhhhhhh shittttt ”, Kevin shouted and he fell through the vent and failed to continue the film monologue, he broke the vent and ended up falling through . One of the Rejects look up and stare at Kevin, thinking ” What on earth just happened ?”, in fact, it was Daniel, he finally chimed in . He couldn’t believe what he just saw, a man just broke the vent and ended up falling through . Kevin picked himself up from the floor and dusted himself off and looked at Daniel, acting like nothing even happened .

” I forgot my pen ”, Kevin said, and he just walked off. There was no pen, he didn’t forget anything, he just said that to cover up what just happened . Who does that ?, who climbs up a vent to try and find a pen, some maniac, probably . Meanwhile, Travis and Johnny were getting ready to go in the room and perform their act, they were checking their hair and going over everything .

” Ok, are we ready ?, do we know our lines and our introduction ?”, Travis asked .

” Yeah I guess so, you have the most lines anyway, I don’t even have that much to say, I just step in and say ” Welcome, Welcome ”, like what the hell is that ?, what’s welcome ?, it’s like we’re in a bloody circus ”, Johnny said .

” Why are we even going in this room anyway, there’s no one in here, this place is abandoned, remember ?”, Travis asked .

” No I know that, I just think we can do it for fun, everyone else is gonna do something like that anyway, we might as well, you know ”, Johnny said .

” Ok, I think we’re ready, are you ready ?”, Travis asked .

” Yeah I’m ready, it’s show time ”, Johnny said . Then they walked in and started singing . Travis just came running in and he just looked demented, well, both of them did. Johnny stood next to Travis, they both started doing it .

” Bur Bur Bur Bur, Na na na, ding ”, Travis said as he walked around and then he had his arms up in the air . Turns out, there were a bunch of people doing a lecture in that room . There were about five people sitting down and there this geezer who was standing next to a whiteboard with a stick in his hand . I’m guessing it’s something to do with work, it’s probably work related . The whole time, we thought it was an abandonded warehouse, but there were a few people still working there . Travis just stared at everyone and was trying so hard not to laugh . ” Oh what the hell, look at this lot here, bloody gits, what did you do to get in the bloody work place ?, you lot can’t even clean up after yourselves, let alone a job, you can’t even wipe your bum properly, Jesus Christ ”, he said . ” Hey Johnny, back me up here, I’m just shouting at myself, where are you, man, bloody hell, get over here, what are you doing standing behind me, I thought we were in this together, what are you doing right down there ? ”, Travis asked .

” What, I was just standing there, I am here, you know, you didn’t tell me where to stand, don’t don’t step on my foot, don’t step on my foot, otherwise I will do you in, my friend ”, Johnny said .

” I ain’t stepping on your foot, don’t worry, I’m no where near you, where am I ?, I’m standing here and you are standing there, see the differences ”, Travis said . ” Hello, I am the sistaferian king, the sistaferian king and this is um, I don’t know who he is, he’s just some random kid, he followed me into this room by accident, oh dear me ”, Travis said .

” What, I am just some random kid who followed you into this room by accident, what the, why am I the random kid, you are the one who planned out this whole entire thing, coming in and doing Sutcliff the bloody musical, right in front of this room full of ponsies, what is this, the balavario sanaterium gang, Jesus Christ, give me a sign ”, Johnny said .

” I’m sorry, I’m sorry, who are you ?”, the manager asked .

” I don’t bloody know, don’t ask me, I’m just a hilucination, I’m here today, then the next day, I’m gone, shouldn’t you be more concerned about your jobs then my existence ?, cause your jobs are fading away like melting shit, you’re drifting along like tumbling tumbleweeds, you lot ”, Travis said .

” Travis, don’t bring up their jobs, just mind your own business, alright, it’s nothing to do with you, let’s just carry on with this bloody broadway shite ”, Johnny said .

” Alright fine. ” This is a little something from me and that boy over there, we both worked on this piece together, I hope you like it, if you don’t, then you can piss off . ” Ok, one two three four ”, Travis counted and he started dancing and jumping everywhere, then Johnny started singing .

” Somebody said to me, arghhhh, they said don’t hit me with a shoe, they say I have nothing else to do, somebody said to me, arghh ”, Johnny sang .

” Who are these geezers, how did they get in here ?”, some woman asked .

” I haven’t a clue ”, some man replied . Travis and Johnny started dancing everywhere . All the staff members who were in the room were really confused .

” Nahhhhhhh, daaaaaaaa, EBOT, EBOT EL, let me in, oh bloody hell ”, Johnny said . ” Two Houses, two houses pushing broom, byson, myyyyyyyyyyy ”, Johnny sang really high pitched .

” Welcome welcome welcome, da da da da na na na, beow beow beow, bring your daddy, bring your daddy, bring your daddy ”, Travis said as he was dancing with a walking stick . ” Oh for god sake, Johnny, dance, when I say dance, you bloody dance, when I say dance, you bloody dance ”, Travis shouted and he was terrorizing Johnny and Johnny was covering his face with his hands to try and protect himself from Travis attacking him .

” Ahhhh, bloody maniac, you are ”, Johnny said .

Then they stopped fighting and acted like nothing even happened . Travis looked at everyone and smiled . Then they carried on dancing . Travis carried on dancing and continued to look demented . Then he jumped up and down, danced and pulled out a BB gun and fired a few gun shots .

” Ohhh, oh dear, oh dear, he’s got a gun, he’s got a gun ”, some man shouted . Johnny looked horrified, he was not expecting for Travis to pull out a gun and start firing gunshots at the ceiling . Then Travis took a bow .

” What is happening today ?, Jesus Christ ”, some woman said . Then, Johnny picks up the gun out of curiousity .

” Wooooooo, fucking party, whoooo, Johnny, put the gun down, I’m being serious, no, put the gun down, put it down, otherwise someone’s gonna get killed . See, this is why 15 year olds shouldn’t be allowed to have guns, they end up doing shit like this, bloody hell, Johnny ”, Travis shouted .

” Well you’re not any different, you’re like four years older then me ”, Johnny said .

” Yes and what on earth has that got to with anything, look man, these people are watching us, you know ?, fuck knows what they’re thinking . ” Oh sorry, hiya, I’m sorry about that, really, it’s been a rough day, we’re all knackered . Travis starts dancing again . ” Make way for the grandmaster ”, he said .

” Yes, I’m saying, I’m saying, I’m saying ”, Johnny said .

” I’m telling you, you go that way, I go this way, I’ll send you fucking down town, down town !!!!!!! ”, Travis sang .

” And then, I’m gonna play my guitar and I’m gonna break free ”, Johnny said .

” And then what are you gonna do ?, tell me, tell me, tell me ”, Travis said .

” Then I’m gonna attack you with my red shoe ”, Johnny said .

” Ok, what the fuck is this shit ?”, the manager said .

” Ahhhhhhhhhhh, somebody help me out, help me outttttttt, I wanna fucking ahhhh ”, Travis shouted . Everyone was confused beyond belief . Their lecture was gate crashed by two absolute maniacs, Travis and Johnny . Travis and Johnny were probably having the time of their lives, but all the staff members who were involved in the promotion meeting were horrified .

” O oh o Aubergine, you’re such a dream, O Aubergine ”, Johnny sang .

” Oh god ”, some man said as he face palmed .

” Yet, I like Corgette, I can’t decide which one to get ”, Johnny sang . ” Red peppers, green peppers, yellow peppers ”, Johnny sang .

” Bloody hell, Johnny, stop singing about corgette ”, Travis said .

” Hm, Spicey, crunchy crunchy ”, Johnny sang .

” Johnny, stop ”, Travis said .

” What, I can’t think of anything else to sing . You’re like the bloody DJ Ballard of broadway, you’re putting on quite a show, are you ?, not like me, where I forget what I’m supposed to be singing every few minutes . Well go on then, play us a bleeding tune, go on, I’ll stand here and watch, you doing bloody camp ”, Johnny said .

” Ok fine . Travis jumped really high and started singing . Then he just pranced around the room, looking like a demented maniac . If anything, I’m glad he didn’t persue a career of broadway and working in the performing Arts, if he did, it would be an absolute catastrofuck . It would be like Sutcliffe the musical but with actual gore . Like West Side Story but with no fighting, you’ve got pain instead . The pain from watching Travis prance around, can’t sing a single note, there’s no story, but instead, there’s just a massive cash grab shite . Travis told me that if he hadn’t ended up on the streets, he would be in theatre . But he was angry that if he did acting, he would get all the shite roles . Like once he told me that, they’d just give him all the small, crap roles like Henry the 8th or some geezer in the film, Xanadu, that was his worst nightmare . He wanted to have bigger parts, otherwise everyone would just take the piss . There’s nothing wrong with having a small role in films, how do you think they all did it then ?, some actors and actresses would often make it in as small cameos, it’s just one of those things, innit, you have some characters in films, you’ll see them once or twice and then you won’t see them again . Travis would hate that . So to take away the hassle of all that, he would just forget the idea and try something else . I have no idea what Johnny is thinking . He’s probably in the thick of it right now . They’re like demented performers . They’re just as bad as each other . At this moment in time, Travis was just going off on one and it’s not like he’s talking to anyone, he’s just shouting at a wall . And that, ladies and gentlemen is how you get sectioned . I’m glad I wasn’t there, seeing it, I was just be wrapped up in absolute chaos . Travis started jumping up and down and singing and screaming . Everyone was absolutely done with everything, the men were just pissed off and the women were terrified .

” Niiiii, na na na, bang bang bang, I can’t run down the street like a demented man, what are the chances of that happening around here, I just can’t take it anymore, I once owned a boat that I sailed across the Thames, but then it bloody sunk , oh bloody hell ”, Travis sang . ” Na, when you see me walking down the street and I start to cry, the tears roll down my face, I walk on by, I walk on by . Ehhh, let’s go for a stroll in the trees . Ding Ding Ding, who’s that knocking on my door, it’s the sellers who are out here to con me, oh no it’s not, it’s Johnny ”, Travis sang . Carried on with the threatre act .

” Hello, haha, how’s it going, Travis, oh my goodness, it’s nice out today, isn’t it ?, sunshine, the sunshine on my shoulders make me happyyyyy, ahhhh, ah crap”, Johnny said . ” Hey bro, you wanna party ?, how about we go to the beach ?”, Johnny asked .

” Nah man, don’t wanna swim with the fucking dolphins, don’t wanna get chased by a fish, are you mad ?”, Travis said .

” Hah hah, we’re friends, we’re friends, we may look alike but trust me, we’re not ”, Johnny said .

” I know right, terrible, ahhhh, we’re friends, we’re great friends, we do everything together ”, Travis said as he put his arm around Johnny .

” Oh well that’s brilliant, isn’t it, we know that they’re friends, we don’t know anything else though, fucking clueless, let’s do away with these geezers ”, some man said .

” Uh no, let’s do away with you, alright, bloody piss takers, look at you, sitting there with your mugs and your files and paperwork, smug, but you can’t work to save your life, you lot haven’t worked a day in your lives, I mean, look at you, you can’t even afford yourself a pair of proper eye brows ”, Travis said .

” Excuse me, that’s nice, isn’t it ?”, some woman said .

” Oh look, it’s Yoko Ono, nice of you to chime in, what have you been doing your whole life, specializing in world peace, you sticky toffee pudding bitch ”, Travis shouted . ” I’m gonna fucking rugby you ”, he added .

” Excuse me, sir, you have no right to come in here and use this sort of language in the work place, who are you ?, calm down, Jesus ”, the manager shouted .

” Ahh, kiss my sweaty balls, you fat fuck ”, Travis shouted . ” You guys have no humor about ya, you crusty gits ”, Travis said . Then suddenly, Jamie entered the room and started talking .

” I know about sharks, I know about sharks, yeah ?, but the thing is, you know, you see a shark and you punch it right on the nose, simple as that ”, Jamie said . Travis and Johnny and everyone else just stared at him, thinking ” Who is this geezer ?, start talking about sharks .

” Who the fuck is this asshole ?”, the manager shouted . Then suddenly, Emmett entered the room and started singing .

” I’ll make love to you, if you want me to, and I’ll hold you tight, baby all through the nightttttttttt, I’ll make love to you ”, Emmett sang .

” Oh, I don’t want him to ”, some woman said .

” Help me ”, another woman said .

” Jamie, please, get out, get out, when I say get out, you get out. and you as well, Emmett, piss off, bloody make love to you . { Johnny chased Jamie out of the room} . Then he just shut the door and smiled . ” Ayyyyy, everybody’s having having fun fun fun, cause everything is nice and everybody is friendly, lots of friendly faces having fun fun fun, smile and the world ”, Johnny sang, but then the manager just chucked them out .

” I’m sorry, can you just get out ?, would that be alright ?”, the manager asked .

” Haha, no ”, Johnny replied . ” You get out, you stinker ”, Johnny said .

” You what, you having a Turkish ?”, the manager said .

” What, Travis, he just said that I was Turkish, kill this geezer, will ya ?”, Johnny said . ” Who the hell speaks French ”, he shouted .

” You go to hill and go down, you bloody you bloody you bloody ”, Travis shouted .

” Get out, bloody, get out ”, the manager said .

” Why you fuck me, I fuck you, bloody, mother bloody fuck bitch ”, Travis shouted .

” Bloody no ”, the manager shouted .

” Why should I listen to you, why should I listen to you though ?, vye, vye vye vulla hee ”, Johnny asked .

” Cause I am your boss, I am your boss, I am your boss ”, the manager replied and he pointed at Johnny .

” Bloody hell, this one, man, I am your boss, puh ”, Johnny said .

” Piss off, get out, get out, get out ”, the manager shouted and he chased Travis and Johnny out of the room with spoons . That geezer suddenly flipped . He’s totally off his rocker . I don’t even know the man, but from what happened with Travis and Johnny, I know that he’s demented . Travis and Johnny ran in the hallway like maniacs .

” Ahhhhhhh, Johnny, we’re not alone in here, man, we are not alone, fucking not alone, oh Gordon Benett ”, Travis shouted .

” Oh shit, we’re not alone . ” We are not alone, we are not alone ”, Johnny sang. ” Bloody geezer told us that no one worked here, Jesus Christ . ” Come on, Travis, let’s go down here ”, he said .

” How much longer ?”, Travis asked .

” A bit more, it’s still down there, it’s about thirty five minutes until we reach that corridor, just run a bit faster, yeah ”, Johnny said .

” Oh god, I don’t think I could run anymore, I’m knackered, man, ughhh, can we sit down somewhere ?”, Travis asked .

” Nah, we can’t, I’m afraid, why, where do you wanna sit down ?”, Johnny asked .

” On a bench, innit ?, or some chair, whatever, I don’t mind, just something that I can sit down on, my legs are stiff, It feels like they’re gonna fall off any minute ”, Travis said .

” Well, there’s no chair here, I’m afraid, we’re gonna have to wait until later, just hurry up, that way, we’ll get there quicker ”, Johnny said .

” Oh for goodness sake ”, Travis said . Meanwhile, Kevin was hiding in a room. He hid behind the door . God knows what he’s gonna pull off . Then suddenly, a Reject walked around and was looking to enter that room . It was Logan . Of course it was Logan, that shitter decided to chime in after all this time . Well, he’s gonna be in for the shock of his life when he finds out who’s behind that door . Kevin’s got a belt as well, he’ll use it without any hesitation . Kevin tried to say quiet but then he had the idea of not keeping quiet and he was actually gonna strike first . Kevin sneaked up to the door and broke a part of the door and he stuck his head through the door and scared Logan .

” Here’s Johnny ”, Kevin shouted, as he stuck his head through the door . He looked absolutely menacing . So menacing, that Logan ran off . He totally shit himself . Who’s the tough one now, huh ?, puh, what a parasite . If you’re not tough then just say that you’re not tough, it saves half the faf, innit . Kevin was laughing his head off, he was just lying on the floor, cracking up . Man waited two years to do that, Jesus Christ . Logan was running everywhere, he was shaken . Samuel found him and was wondering what on earth is going on ?.

” Logan, what happened, Jesus Christ, Logan, stay with us, for god sake ”, Samuel asked .

” Ehhhh, there’s a, there’s a man in the door, the man in the door, the door went Pkkk and there was his face ”, Logan replied as he was panicking .

” Ay ?”, Samuel said, as he had no idea what Logan was on about . I don’t think he understood any of it . Can’t blame him, to be honest, if I was in that position and if I saw someone like Johnny coming up and saying that there was a vanishing head, I would be confused as well . And it’s Kevin as well, so he’s just passive aggressive, or just aggressive . He will over do it and end up scaring the shit out of someone . Whilst that was going on, Johnny and Travis were still running all over the place like headless chickens . What is going to be their next move ?, there’s only one way to find out .

” Hey Johnny, come over here for a second ?”, Travis called out .

” Yeah, what is it, Travis ?”, Johnny asked, as he walked up to Travis .

” So, you see that door over there ?, or a hatch, or whatever it is that you’d wanna call it, um, so the next thing we’re gonna do, is we’re both gonna stand behind it so when the Rejects come, we’re gonna jump out and scare them ?, how does that sound ?, sounds wicked, doesn’t it ?”, Travis asked .

” Oh come on, Travis, we’re not gonna hide in there, that’s like a wooden hatch, who’d want to hide in there, are you mad or something ?, you must be mad, because who does that ?, who decides to hide in a wooden hatch ?”, Johnny said .

” Well, I don’t know, man, we have to do something, we can’t just stand here, we have to get in on the action, and it’s not a hatch, by the way, it’s a lift ?, it opens and closes, that’s what it does ”, Travis said .

” Travis, I ain’t standing in that thing, that’s how you end up getting sectioned, you just want to see me locked up in an asylum, don’t you ?, bloody hell, Travis, there’s nothing more ridiculous then this, I thought I’ve seen it all, turns out, I haven’t, the world’s gone mad, seriously, who stands behind a wooden hatch and communicates with random invividuals, I don’t bloody know ”, Johnny said .

” Oh for goodness sake, Johnny, just come with me, we’re gonna be here for hours, talking about wooden hatch, now come on, follow me, so we can piss those geezers off, walk behind me so they don’t see you, cause if they do, we’re fucked, we’re well and truly fucked ”, Travis said and he dragged Johnny by the arm . They walked into the lift and waited patiently for one of the Rejects to find it . Whoever it is, they’re gonna be surprised, I’m telling you . They’re gonna see the ultimate terror that’s on the other side . I bet that their idea is not gonna do shit, but I feel like this was probably one of their best ideas yet, it’s way better then they’re other idea, that utter monstrocity, hopefully this idea will do their recent idea some justice . A few minutes later, some Reject turned up and walked up to the lift and pressed the button and waited for it to open . Then suddenly, Travis and Johnny jumped out and scared him, they looked demented and quite terrifying .

” Hiiiiiiiiiiii, ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh ”, Johnny yelled and he waved slowly and they both went after him . Lucas just ran off without any trace . ” Get out of the lift, get out of the lift, get out of the lift ”, Travis said in a robotic announcement voice .

” Ahhhh, bloody hell, bloody hell ”, Lucas shouted, and he just ran off . Didn’t think twice about running away . He was not expecting that, not expecting that at all . That’ll teach him for opening the lift and for being an absolute git . Meanwhile, Emmett ran into some room. Where these two geezers were having an arguement . God knows what they were arguing about, they sound mad to me .

Emmett’s read}

As I walked into this room, I saw these two geezers having an arguement . First of all, what on earth are they fighting about, it’s probably some pointless shit . Man’s banging on about some film he saw, the night before. What film has this geezer watched ?, I garantee you, yeah, that this geezer hasn’t even watched a film in his life. And even if he has, then it’s garanteed to be some really shite film . Like the asylum verse, or Kernal Plumbungree’s Return To Parliement or Mirrahora’s Death In A Cave or some shit like that . From what he’s saying, it gives me the indication to say that that man has never seen a film before . Bloody hell, usually I’m beating these sorts of geezers up, even though I’m only 18 and he’s about thirty something, I can still kick him down whilst he’s hanging on to some film bullshit . Let’s see what this man has to say, perhaps I will properly open the door and walk in, to get in on the action, even though I couldn’t give a monkees about what he has to say, but still, there’s nothing else to do, so I might as well .

” Oh there was hardly any fucking blood, the film was called, The Theatre Of Blood and there was no blood, what a con out of my money, should of stayed at home with the kids, instead of seeing that bloody film ”, the man said .

” Yeah you should have, if it wasn’t your kind of satisfaction, then you shouldn’t have gone to see it then, innit ?”, the other man said .

” Oh that’s not the bloody point, I’m tired all day, can’t bother to come in to work in the mornings and produce these bloody soaps, I just wanna stay at home and watch tv all day, I just wanna watch Johnny Jarvis and have tea, I can’t be bothered to work . If only I didn’t have to work, but oh wait, I have to come into work because I need money, haven’t got any to pay the rent, I’m going mad in my own home, in my own home, can you believe that shit ?, I don’t even believe it myself, if I ask myself, it’s just shite ”, the man said .

” What on earth is going on in here ?”, Emmett whispered as he opened the door slowly to see some geezer banging on about his personal life and the other geezer who just wants nothing to do with it but is just there for moral support, for what ?, honestly, that geezer’s going mad and he’s gonna drive him mad in the process as well . That’s just what happens when you have a dead end job, you go slightly mad .

” I still can’t believe that there was no blood in that film, even though the film tagline said ” There Will Be Blood ”, and you know what, it’s just like saying that there will be tits, like Amen Amen, that sounds like a great film, I’d go and watch that, whatever the bloody hell it’s called, but yeah, I would go and pay a couple of hundred quid to watch that film, everyone would go and watch that film, cause it sounds interesting, it’s not like watching paint dry, you know what I mean, it said There Will Be Blood and I watched it and there was no blood, not even one drop, just a tragedy of a lifetime ”, the man carried on with the rant .

” Oh, I tell you what, if I hit you over the bonce, there will be blood, how about that, you want blood ?, huh, cause I can, I’ve got it right here, right here in my pocket, I’ve got the Tughine ”, the other man said and he pulled out a frying pan .

” Yes yes, just do it, I’m so sick and tired of coming into work every day, I’m bloody sick of it, just do it, do it, speed it up, will ya, I haven’t got all day ”, the man said .

” Ok, nope nope, fuck this shit, I’m out, I’m not watching these geezers start now, nah, forget it ”, Emmett said to himself and he just shut the door and walked away to let the fight continue in peace . Those two geezers were jumping everywhere and the other geezer who was with him, was dancing around with a frying pan in his hand . It won’t be that long until they both get sectioned, they’re both demented . I don’t know what shit they’re on or whether it’s all natural . Surely when you see them, you’ll know, straight away and I know that they’re naturally demented . A few minutes after Emmett left, it was still going on . But this time, you just couldn’t figure out what they were going on about, you knew what they were arguing about, the first time round, but this time, you would have no clue, really, you wouldn’t . Try and make sense out of it, you will fail miserably, I’m telling you, the apples don’t fall far from the tree .

” Listen to the people of Great Britain, just listen to them, yeah, they are so sick of working, they’re just after the money, they don’t wanna work, are you joking ?, por, what a waste, what a waste of your life. We all want to earn money without having to do the bare minimum, without working our asses off, isn’t that right, The people of Great Britain ?, Yeahhhhhhhh, I’m telling you right now, the people of Great Britain want a fucking war ” the man said .

” You’re mad, you are, you know that ?, do you really think that you are the beholder of the people of Great Britain, you don’t speak for them, you don’t even know how to clean your bum properly, how are you gonna run the fucking country ?”, the other man said .

” Yeah but you know, what if somebody finds out about this, that man who works in the council just across the road, did he say, did he say ” Oh don’t make mince meat out everything, don’t make mess ”, like if someone like that ever found out about the wages here, you know, what would he say ?”, the man asked .

” Nothing’s gonna come of this, nothing’s gonna come of this, Jimmy, what, can you see how far back I’m leaning, that’s about how far back as I can lean ”, the other man said as he leaned back .

” I know but what would that geezer say though ?”, the man asked .

” I don’t know, I don’t know, Jimmy, I wasn’t there, I don’t know what he’s trying to ”, the other man said .

” Alright, this is just shit, just chuck this thing at him then ”, the man said and he chucked it at his work colleague, then another work colleague entered the room .

” Ahhh, what the fuck is going on in here ?, fucking chucking shit at the wind, you should be working, you should be handling the machines, that’s what you should be doing, there’s a bunch of men in there, they’re confused as fuck, one of you has to go and explain the lot ”, the work colleague said as he walked in .

” No no no no, no Jonathon, you let bullying happen in the work place, you let it happen, I’ve got half a button ”, the work colleague shouted and he chucked a button at Jonathon .

” Ahhh fuck, man, fuck ”, Jonathon said as the button hit him in the face .

” You walking into this room, half wobbling off the walls like some clueless egg cunt ”, Ritchie said .

” Well, what else was I supposed to do, everyone else is treating that room like senetarium for the schizaphrenic, they’re driving me nuts in there, I’m telling you, they’re doing some weird shit in there ”, Jonathon said .

” You bloody go in there and you do work, that’s what you’re supposed to do, don’t care that people are mucking about in there, couldn’t give a monkees ”, Ritchie said .

” Fucking hell, shut up, Ritchie, for god sake ”, Jonathon said .

” Well this is bloody fun, isn’t it, Jesus Christ ”, his colleague said .

” Look man, if you leak all of this information in the press, I’m gonna do you in, you mincing fucking cunt and I’m gonna do you in so hard and I’m gonna make you gonna do the bloody fandago whilst you recite the monologue to the Twelfth Night whilst I do you in with my blade, right ?, so shut your gaping mouth, if anything leaks to the press, on behalf of this bloody factory, it’s gonna be on you, alright ?, okay, get back to work, you layabout, the soaps need packaging, not like you can wrap shit up to save your life ”, the man shouted, and he walked off, then he started talking to himself .

” Hah, I’m not stressed, fucking fucking fucking fucking ”, he shouted silently to himself as his head twitched .

” What a nutter, Jesus Christ ”, the other man mumbled to himself . Meanwhile, Travis walked in the hallway and was looking for something to do. Then he started singing to himself .

” Arrrr, have I the right to love you, oh bloody hell ”, Travis sang very quietly and he entered a room and stayed there for a little while . Then suddenly, one of the Rejects walked into the room and Travis jumped out and started singing .

” Ahhhhhhh, and I’m so glad you’re mine now, woah woah woah woah woah woah woah ”, Travis sang and shouted as he opened the door and stuck his head through .

” Ahhh what the fuck ?”, Jacob said and he just ran off . Travis started laughing . Johnny was in another room . One Reject knocked on the door .

” Hellooooooooooo ”, he sang . Then Johnny just slammed the door in his face . He was like ” Hell no ”. Does Johnny look like fucking Lionel Ritchie, who is he saying hello to ?.

Meanwhile, I entered a room . There were about two people having a chat . I honestly had no idea what I was getting myself into .

” Ahhhh, oh shit, what the bloody hell are you guys doing in here ?, I thought this was a khazie, what the hell ?”, I said . They both looked at me, thinking ” What on earth is going on ”. They didn’t know what to make of it . Their facial expressions were priceless . That’s what it looks like when you’re confused and horrified at the same time .

” Yeah, this is the khazie, you can do a shit in that bucket over there ”, one of the geezers said .

” Oh fuck no, I’m not staying in this room, man’s doing shit in the bucket, no, no thank you ”, I said, then I left the room and just shut the door .

” Who the bloody hell was that, man ?”, the geezer asked .

” No clue ”, the other geezer said . Meanwhile, Emmett was standing in a room and then one of the other Rejects entered the room and interrupted the whole thing .

” Ahhhhh, bloody piss pot ”, Emmett shouted .

Whilst all that was going on, Kevin was hiding in another room . He had the sudden urge to pull out his belt and use it . He felt like that was his time, Jesus Christ, god help us, help you, help me. He pulled it out and whacked the wall with it, it made a sound . Then suddenly, one of the Rejects walked up to the door and heard the noise, somehow thought it would have been a good idea to whack the wall as well, god knows why, why the hell would you wanna wack the wall when you see someone else whacking a wall, it’s just pointless, like why, why ?. Jason whacked the wall with a stick quite a few times, both of them started doing it, you know, sometimes I wonder, sometimes I wonder what is wrong with them ?, what drives them to do the sort of stuff they do ?. At this moment in time, Kevin was laughing his head off behind the door, he just fooled another Reject . That just says it all, that just explains that the Rejects are more stupid then us . Their gang name doesn’t give much away, Reject means idiot, so there you go then, The Rejects are stupid . That was going on for a while, Kevin and Jason were banging the walls with belts and sticks for half an hour or so . Meanwhile, Travis was having a fight with some random geezer in the building, no one knew who this geezer was, it’s just some random geezer . I doubt that Travis knew who he was fighting with, it’s like that sometimes, you don’t know until you do them in, then you find out who they are a few years later . It’s the names you forget, the faces you remember . That’s life, I guess .

” You bloody, you bloody, you see, I know who you are, you stupid man, I’ve seen you before, You and me had a punch up in the street, remember ?, you, you smug git, you smug git ”, Travis said .

” Oh yeah, I thought I recognized you from somewhere, I keep seeing you around here, so um, do you live here then ?, is this your house ?”, the man asked .

” Nah nah, I don’t live here, why would I live in a place like this anyway, what am I, a tramp, hah, you know, I thought I’ve seen it all, but people get more and more stupid, it seems ”, Travis said .

” Where’s your tools ?”, the man asked .

” What fucking tools ?”, Travis said .

” Arrrrr, bloody hell ”, the man said . ” So um, you’re still limping, ay ?”, the man asked . Then Travis punched him in the face and just went for it . They started kicking and fighting each other .

” Ahhhh, you bloody, you bloody git, how dare you ask me I’m still limping, you dip stick ”, Travis shouted.

” Well come on then, come on then, you wanna fight, you wanna fight ?, Travy boy ”, the man said .

” You bet, I’ll do you in, my son, I’m telling you, by the end of this, you’ll be the one who’s limping, don’t fuck with me, mate, cause I’ll do you, I’l do you, I will ”, Travis shouted .

” Well alright then, bring it on, bring it on, show me what you’ve got, you shitter ”, the man said .

” Oh I will, don’t worry about that, I will, I’d send you flying, mate ”, Travis said .

” Ohhhh, gang fight, hey lads, come and see this, a fight is brewing, Travis is gonna do this geezer in ”, Kevin shouted and everyone came to see Travis and his enemy have a fight .

” Hello hello hello, what’s all this then ?, is that a fight, I’ll have some of that, I’ll have some of that, well go on Travis, play us a tasty lick, oh bollocks, who the fuck is that geezer ?, oh Christ, look at his trousers, do him in, will ya, Travis ?, smash his face in, go on, my son ”, Emmett said . Then suddenly, those two started fighting. Travis started kicking him but he can’t fight to save his life, he’s shit, that Travis. Watching Travis kick that geezer was like watching a bird try and spread it’s wings but it keeps failing every time, that’s what it was like . He’s a mean fighter, that Travis, hah, not . At this moment in time, the boys were on the floor, literally doing each other in . All of us just stood there, we had no idea what was going on, we had no idea who that geezer was, him and Travis were just having a punch up . Then suddenly, this man came out and tried to split those two up from the fight .

” Alright, that’s it, cut it out, you lot, Jesus, you guys are like kids, cut it out, get up, come on, get up, leave this geezer alone, yeah ?”, the random man said and tried to split them up .

” Who the fuck is this geezer ?”, Emmett mumbled .

” I don’t bloody know ”, I said .

” Alright, Austin Leroy, do I have to split you to up or not ?”, the random man asked . ” Stop fighting, you lunatic ”, he said .

” Stay out of this, fonzy ”, the man shouted and punched him, him and Travis carried on fighting . A few minutes later, everything calmed down, we carried on with the whole gang war thing . I was doing monkey bars on the ceiling . I had no idea what I was doing, really, I just did it to pass the time . There was a small arch hanging down from the ceiling so that’s what I was hanging on to . Then one of the Rejects were walking in the hallway and came to see me hanging down from the ceiling doing chins . He probably thought ” What on earth is going on, why is there a man hanging down from the ceiling ?”, he was beyond confused . But I was just up there, you know, there’s just no stopping me . This was my moment .

” Ahhhhh, what the hell ?, what are you, why are you up there ?”, Julien asked. He didn’t even think that it was real, he thought he was seeing things . Well, if one of his friends ask him, where was he, that evening, what will he say ?, if anything, They’ll all think that he’s mad . They’ll think he’s gone absolutely potty . And he is potty, on behalf of me and my friends, we all know he’s mad, but better late then never, right ?. Anyway, I was doing monkey bars and Julien had no idea what was going on, that’s the right way to put it . Because he really didn’t . He couldn’t make sense out of it if he tried, he’s peanut brain, he has a brain the size of a peanut, how’s he gonna work this out ?. He just stood there and stared at me for like two minutes, he looked like he wanted to run away . Maybe he got scared .

” Ahhhhhh, I’m spiderman, Julien, fuck off, get out of here, mate, I’m doing fucking chins, rahhhhhhh ”, I shouted .

” Ahhhhh, nah mate, I’m not getting involved in this, man’s got four legs, ahhhh shit ”, Julien said .

” Get out, get out, get out now, get out, get out before I put you on this fucking ceiling ”, I shouted .

” You’re a maniac, you are, I can’t believe you would something like this to me, oh fucking hell, look, I pissed me pants ”, Julien said .

” Good, get Jacob to change them for you, you git ”, I said .

” Get down from there, Liam, you lunatic, I can’t bare to see you up there any longer, you come down, or I drag you off, I’ll teach you proper fucking gymnastics and trapeze ”, Julien shouted .

” Ahhhhh, haha, Julien, you funny man, you’re funny, you are, arghhh, I love doing this, you know, I do ” I said .

” Love doing what ?”, Julien asked .

” This, Ahhhhhhh, I am spider man, I am spider man, look out everybody, I am coming through, climbing on top of roofs and walls and fucking scare the shit out of everyone ”, I sang .

” Ahhhh, you’re not fucking spider man, Jesus Christ, man, help me, get this lunatic off the ceiling, he’s bloody mad ”, Julien said and he walked off . Meanwhile, Emmett was having a chat with the geezer that was fighting with Travis. Bonding over past prison life experiences . That’s pretty much the only thing that Emmett can talk to someone about . Even though Emmett has never met that geezer in his life . You make friends everywhere you go, even if they’re maniacs . But who ever it is that you meet, you have to make an effort and be there for them . Even if they end doing a bank robbery and went on the run, you still have to be there for them . Just as long as you don’t get involved in it, then you’ll be fine .

” So, um, how long have you been in prison for ?”, Emmett asked .

” Two and half years, something like that ”, the man replied .

” Hah, soft, 10 years, minus when I was little, cause I got done for GBH and other hate crimes, but it’s silly things, silly things, you get into prison for anything, these days, they don’t give a shit about no one, you know what I mean ?”, Emmett said .

” Yeah 10 years, well that’s something I guess ”, the man said .

” Yeah, so what did you get into prison for, stealing the police man’s hat and pissing in it or something ?, I know that a geezer like you would do something like that, you snide git, you naughty naughty, you naughty boy, I know what you’re like, haha ”, Emmett asked .

” Hah, far from it, mate ”, the man replied . Whilst they were having a conversation . Travis and Johnny were messing around in the corridors . Then suddenly, the manager who worked in the factory walked past and saw them two . He was a bit suspicious .

” Good Heavens, you boys, what are you doing here ?”, the manager asked, as he stood in the corner . ” I’ve just gone out for a cigarette and I come in to see you guys standing around, what’s going on here, is everything alright ?”, the manager asked .

” Yeah, everything’s fine, sir, just getting a bit of fresh air, aren’t we Johnny ?”, Travis asked .

” Yeah yeah, we’re getting some fresh air, it’s just a bit stuffy, you know, gives us dry throats, you know, we start coughing a bit, innit ?, fresh air is crucial in times like these, you know, if you’re in the house, you have time to yourself, you go outside ”, Johnny replied .

” What, inside ?, you don’t get fresh air if you’re inside the building, do you ?, you go outside if you want fresh air, you don’t stay in here ”, the manager said .

” Oh fuck, oh yeah, I suppose so, sir ”, Travis said and he stared down at the floor . Then suddenly Travis and Johnny started dancing once again . The manager just had no idea what was going on .

” Oh no, not again ”, the manager said and he just ran out and left those behind . Then Johnny and Travis started laughing, they just completely lost it . A few minutes later, we all joined each other once again .  Emmett was gonna go and prank Leo and lock him in the cupboard . Let’s just see if he can pull it off . He poked him very quickly then he picked him up and put him in the cupboard then shut the door .

” Ehhhh, get in the cupboard, oh fucking hell ”, Emmett said .

But then, Leo got out quickly and escaped . It was absolute havvock . We ran all over the place trying to catch him. By the time we catched up, he already left, but he ran out of the building and just ran for his life . We all just chased him out of the building . We then got in the car and tried to catch up with him .

” Oh shit, where’s he gone, this one, Emmett, drive faster, will ya ”, I shouted .

” I am driving faster, this is how far it goes, I’m doing my best here, alright, shut up ”, Emmett said .

” You did epic bodge, Emmett, mega mega bodge, who’s idea was it to put him and lock him in the cupboard, if you put him in the cupboard, man’s gonna run out, isn’t he ?”, Johnny said .

” Yeah well I didn’t know he was gonna run out, didn’t I ?, Leo is the cheeky one anyway, he put some cat shit on my doorstep to my house, you think he’s not gonna be like that, people don’t change, Johnny, well some people do, but he won’t, when he’s about 50, he’ll still the same snide git I knew back in 88, nothing changes, no matter how much you want it to, it won’t change ”, Emmett said .

” Ok, let’s just keep an eye on him, yeah, make sure we keep up ”, I said . ” We really shouldn’t be doing this, but here we are, driving after this bloody idiot ”, I added .

” Hey guys, I have an idea, hey Emmett, drive down there, will ya ?”, Kevin asked .

” Why, why do you want me to drive down there for ?, are you up to something, Kevin, I think you are ”, Emmett said .

” Yeah yeah, just drive down ”, Kevin said . ” Where’s the bat, Emmett ?, do you know where the bat is ?”, Kevin asked .

” Yeah it’s in the boot, why do you want the bat ?”, Emmett asked .

” Oh you know, nothing really, just might come in handy, that’s all ”, Kevin replied .

” Kevin, I know what you’re up to, you’re not gonna smash his car in, alright, otherwise Leo and his mates are gonna come to our house and they’re gonna make shit happen ”, Emmett said . Then Kevin found the bat in the boot of the car .

” Alright, I’ve got the bat, I’ve got the bat, time to crack some fucking skulls, I’m coming for you, you lonesome gits ”, Kevin shouted and he just run up to the car and got in .

” Oh shit, what’s he doing, this one ?, he’s got the bat now, bloody maniac ”, I said .

” Kevin, you lunatic, get in the car now, be careful where you put the bat, alright ?, if pointing directly to my face, I’m gonna do you in, now get in the car before you pull out my eye sockets ”, Dominick said .

” Jesus, I never actually realized how small this car is, it’s almost like you can fit one person in here, it’s mad, it’s almost like I can touch the ceiling with my head ”, Kevin said . ” Right ok, um, Emmett drive faster, try and keep up ”, Kevin said .

” I’m trying, alright, I’m trying ”, Emmett said .

” Oh this is so cool, this is, it’s like a car chase, you feel the power, feel the power, yeah no, it’s making me feel a bit queasy, it’s the car, I get motion sick sometimes, that’s why I always sit in the back ”, Kevin said .

” Bloody hell, man ”, Travis said . A few minutes later, we did a full on car chase . We were just driving after this geezer like maniacs . To be honest, I’ve never felt so alive . We just drove the car really fast, I’m surprised that we didn’t get stopped . Leo appeared to be driving in a car as well . It was like a proper fucking car chase . With five maniacs and one mad man . Five against 1, the gang of five wins . We drove really fast to catch up with him . We opened the car windows and chucked eggs and other weird stuff at him . Man was really struggling to stay afloat with whatever he had . Sets him straight for everything him and his gang did to us, basically made our lives utter miserable  . Something was on their way, and that is a beautiful thing called Karma . Karma waits for no man, when it’s ready, it will hit them hard, almost tear their lives apart .

” Hey Emmett, slide the windows down ”, Dominick said . And Emmett unlocked the windows and they slid down . Dominick chucked an egg at him . It went in his face . He didn’t see it coming .

” Ahhhhhhhhh, egg face, haha ”, Kevin shouted and he started laughing .

” Ahhh, bastards, bastards ”, Leo said as he tried to continue driving . Temptation Baby by Gene Vincent was playing in the car . We listening to the song whilst defeating Leo in his car . The song just really suited the scene of absolute chaos .

” Ayyyyyy, temptation babyyyyy ”, Johnny sang .

” Watch out, you bent cunt ”, Emmett shouted and he chucked a shoe at him . ” Shoes, the shoes, haha, shoes, I’ve got a new pair of shoes, shoes, I’ve got a new pair of shoes, shiny and clean, they’re my favourite colour green, my new pair of shoes, I’m gonna run down a hill ”, Emmett sang .

” Wait, drive down there, I’m gonna show you something ”, Dominick said .

” Alright, Dominick ”, Emmett said and he drove through this alleyway . Then Dominick chucked an egg and batted it with a baseball bat and it went straight in Leo’s face .

” Ahhhhh, bullseye ”, Dominick said and we all started laughing . ” See, I told you, I was always good at cricket, haha ”, Dominick said with his arms out .

” Ahhh haha ”, we all laughed . ” Hey Travis, chuck another egg, will ya ?, I think he’s asking for more, ain’t you, Leo ?”, I asked .

” You better fucking not ”, Leo shouted .

” ayyyyyyy, goalllllll, you bloody poof, here we go, have some egg ”, Travis said as he chucked another egg at Leo .

” How am I supposed to ?”, Leo asked but before he could finish a sentence, Travis chucked a cup of coffee at him .

” Haha, what’s a matter, Leon, you don’t like coffee and egg ?, haha, arghh, I love this, I really do ”, I said . All of us kept on pranking him . He was really getting fed up with it . But then, someone started chucking bricks at our car .

” Ahhh, some nutter’s chucking bricks at the car ”, Dominick said, he looked generally terrified . Leo looked out of his car to see who it was . That geezer was giving him way. It slowed down a little bit and Leo was able to get home safely . We had so much fun, honestly, we did, especially after all the things him and his mates have done to us, they deserved every second of it . Luckily, Emmett’s car wasn’t too damaged, due to the whole brick throwing thing, it just had a few scratches, but nothing serious, at least, for now . I hope the Rejects don’t come full circle and end up looking like pant gang cunts on the motorway, with their mustangs and their wooden sticks, with slouchy positions looking like they’ve just pissed themselves . If they do, I literally don’t care, I couldn’t give a moonkees, I will go down there with my num chucks and I’d beat the bloody shit out of them . I’d do them in with Johnny’s blade, don’t give a fuck. This went on for a good few days . On the day we decided to go and do it again, Leo wasn’t driving, he was walking . And then we suddenly appeared again . We chucked another egg .

” Ahhhhh, fucking Ar, fucking Ar ”, Leo said as he raised his arm in the air . We just started laughing for hours .

” Haha, what a plonker, oh shit, he’s got the hump, hasn’t he ?”, I said .

Man really thought that he got away and that we disappeared off the face of the earth without trace, but nah, we’re still here . Where does he think he’s going with that breifcase though ?, smug bastard . If I could, I would cellotape that briefcase to his head .  After our really chaotic moment . We finally decided to head back home, so started the motor .

” Arr, that was fun, okay, I think it’s time to go home, what do you reckon ?”, I asked .

” Yeah, let’s go home, I’m absolutely knackered ”, Johnny said .

” Well, that was quite successful, I thought this whole gang war thing would be a epic failure ”, Dominick said .

” See, I told you, didn’t I, Emmett knows, he knows what he’s doing, it’s like sending us to a building that looks like a convent and making us run around like a bunch of full grown maniacs and bone heads and do those geezers in, he knows, I’m telling you ”, Jamie said .

” You know what, I wish he had some baby sham or something ?, do we have any Baby Sham, Dominick ?”, I asked .

” Nah, I don’t, anyway, it’s probably best if there’s none, because we’re driving, so, we’ll end up in a collision or something like that, but maybe when we go home, then there might be some in the cupboard ”, Dominick said .

” Aw man, ok anyway, let’s just imagine that we have some ”, I said . ” Cheers lads ”, I said as I pretended to raise my glass .

” Cheers, Liam, do you want some, Jamie ?”, Dominick asked .

” Don’t mind if I do, ahhhhhh ”, Jamie and Dominick said at the same time. We both laughed .

” Arghh, ok, let’s drive home, before it gets late ”, I suggested . And we started heading home . But suddenly, Johnny spotted a cat, he was that adament to go and stroke it .

” Oh my god, oooo, bloody hell, good god ”, Johnny said .

” What’s the matter, Johnny ?”, Emmett asked .

” There’s a cat just down there, can we go and see it ?”, Johnny asked .

” Oh come on, we’re not gonna go and see a fucking cat, come on now, Johnny, are you mad ?”, Emmett said .

” Oh, stop acting like it’s a wild boar, it’s not gonna eat your face off, come on, get out the car, come on everybody, we’re gonna go and see Gumbiss ”, Johnny said and he got out the car . Everybody got out and followed Johnny .

” Fucking Gumbiss, this one here, I’m not gonna see this man eating bastard, I wanna go home, don’t wanna see no bloody cat ”, Emmett said .

” Oh leave it out, Emmett, come on, you’ll love it, it’s so adorable, I love things like this ”, Johnny said .

” Yeah of course you do ”, Emmett muttered . We saw the cat. It was so cute. I think it was a British Cream, I’m not so keen on cat breeds . I’m just guessing as I go along . Johnny was so happy to see it, Travis was a bit of paranoid, Emmett just looked straight up demented, the rest of them just didn’t know how to feel . They’re probably acting like they’ve never seen a cat before . They’re so out of touch, honestly . They’ve been on the streets, almost all their lives and they’ve never seen a cat before .

” Oh bloody, what’s all this then ?”, Emmett asked .

” Awwww, it’s so cute, look at it, man. ” Hello, where’d you come from, fella, where’d you come from ?”, Johnny said as he spoke to the cat .

” What’s his name then, have you thought about what you’re gonna call him yet ?”, Dominick asked .

” Yeah, his name is Bambit ”, Johnny replied .

” Bambit ?, you’re gonna name a cat Bambit ?, fucking hell ”, Emmett said .

” Yeah why not, he loves it, Bumbit, Bumbit, hello Bumbit, haha, see, he’s got my eyes ”, Johnny said . ” Can we keep him, Jamie ?, what do you reckon, can we bring him home ?”, Johnny asked .

” Ask Liam, it’s his house, I’ve got nothing to do with it ”, Jamie replied .

” Can we keep him, Liam ?, it’s fine, we’ll find him a place, I can probably put him in my room ”, Johnny said .

” Nah man, we’re not having a cat in the house, it’s gonna shit everywhere, it’s gonna shit in my corn flakes and all that ”, Emmett said .

” Nah sorry, Johnny, I don’t think we’re allowed to have a cat in the house, it’s okay though, we can come and visit him from time to time, alright Johnny ?”, I asked .

” Ah man, what a shame, I’d love this cat back at home ”, Johnny said .

” Hey Johnny, check this out . ” Weeeeeeeeeeeee ”, Emmett said high pitched . The cat suddenly flipped and attacked him . ” Ahhh fuck ”, he said .

” Emmett, what are you bloody doing, talking to Bumbit like that, you know he doesn’t like it, so why do it ?”, Johnny said .

” Ah whatever. ” Bitch, bitch ”, Emmett said in a deep voice.

” Emmett, don’t fucking talk like that to Bambit, he will bloody rip your face off ”, Travis said .

” Oh leave it out, Travis, what’s he gonna do anyway, except for just stand there and stare at you ?, it’s not gonna do much, isn’t it ?”, Emmett said .  ” Hey Bumbit, Haysleif, Hayslief ”, Emmett said and the cat scratched his face . ” Ahhh, bloody Hayslief ”, he shouted .

” Who the fuck is Hayslief ?”, I asked .

” I haven’t a clue, honestly, he’s just mad, he is ”, Johnny said .

” You know what, if he scratches me again, I’m gonna, I’m gonna kick him so hard up the arse, I’m gonna boot him into a cupboard and send him to the fucking moon, I’m not even joking ”, Emmett said .

” Emmett, stop exaggerating, it’s only cat, you see, you see how I do it, you see how I communicate and ingage with cats, this is how I communicate with cats . ” Hello, how are you doing ?, little one, where’s your owner ?, are you hungry ?, do you wanna play ?”, that’s how you’re supposed to do it, but this is how you do it, your deranged way. ” Weeeee, Beach ”, I mean, what on earth is that ?, that’s not how you talk to cats, you talk to them nicely, not like that ”, Johnny said .

” It’s not gonna understand you anyway, the thing doesn’t talk, if you did talk to the cat, you would be sectioned within two hours ”, Emmett said .

” How’s anyone gonna understand what you say, it’s all pony and trap ”, Dominick said .

” Oh shut up . ” Hello, don’t listen to them, they’re stupid and they don’t know anything, no one can get in the way of our secret communications . ” Beeeeee ”, Emmett said with a high pitched voice . He just started making weird sounds . Everyone just stood there, looking at him, thinking that he’s mad . I won’t even be surprised if the cat does scratch him, if it does, then we’ll all know the reason why . funninily enough, the cat did scratch him . And when it happened, Emmett just stood there, wondering why it scratched him in the first place, now Emmett, we all know why he scratched you, it’s because you’re a lunatic .

” Ahhhh, bloody hell, what’s he doing, man, get this twat away from me ”, Emmett shouted .

” Come on, I think it’s time we just left him alone, I think we should go home, what do you reckon ?”, I asked .

” Yeah, that’s probably for the best ”, Emmett said . And we carried on walking back to the motor . Johnny couldn’t shut up about Bumbit . But that’s pretty much the last thing on everyone’s minds . We just wanted to get out of this place, we’ve been here for too long .

” Man, I wonder about Bumbit, you know, or Gumbiss, I think it’s Vasilis De Gumbiss ”, Johnny said .

” Wow, this cat really has so many names, doesn’t it ?”, Travis asked .

” I really love that cat, you know, he’s my friend, that Bambit, I hope he comes back to see me, some day ”, Johnny said .

” Arghhhhhh, come on, stop talking about bloody Vasilis De Gumbiss and get in the car ”, Emmett shouted .

” Ehhhh alrighty then ”, Johnny said and we got back in the car and we carried on driving . We started heading back home .

Suddenly, we heard noise coming from a few miles away, we thought that it was probably a bunch of school kids since it was the time they usually start coming home and that there was a school nearby, or so we thought, but turns out, it wasn’t a school, there appeared to be screaming, it was loud and existent, it got louder and louder every time we got closer. There were a bunch of kids getting mugged, attacked and nicked. Here in Hackney, if you were a youngster, you couldn’t walk across the street or go to certain places without getting in a punch up, you’ve gotta have your wits about you, if you’re not careful, you might even get killed out there . You have to be wary and street savy, you don’t know who’s out there, waiting for you . We had to do something, we couldn’t just stand there. Jamie was in denial, he thought that the kids were coming home from school, but to his surprise, they weren’t, they were involved in something else, something dangerous .

” It’s probably just some kids, this is the time they come back home, it’s probably nothing ”, Jamie said .

” No I don’t think so, those are not school kids, they’re getting mugged and attacked, we have to go and help them, man ”, Dominick said .

” Just stay in the back, don’t move, I’ve got this ”, Emmett said .

” We can’t stay here, Emmett, they’re getting beaten up, ohh, I can’t bare it, somebody help them, those poor kids ”, Johnny said, as he covered his eyes with his hands. He was horrified .

” No Johnny, just get over here, get over here, man, you daft twonk ”, Emmett said . ” What cunts ”, he shouted and we got out of the car. We walked closer and closer to the crime scene, we saw a bunch of kids getting injured and getting nicked by a bunch of gang members, we didn’t know who the gang members were, but we didn’t wanna chance anything. They had hoods over their faces, so we couldn’t see what they looked like, but you could see them from a distance . In the area where we live, we have these gang members called The Day Break Boys, those geezers have been involved in many muggings and stabbings right across the burough. They are bad news . We even stay away from those geezers . We may seem dangerous as them, but at least we don’t go out, killing  innocent kids and people, we’re even afraid of getting stabbed and interrogated by them. That’s why we go out with six inch switch blades, we carry them around just to feel safe and to have some defense against other gang members when they attack . Anyway, the kids were screaming, they were crying and they needed help more than ever . Emmett was trying to keep Johnny and us safe by staying with him, because if you get involved in something that’s not your business, especially if it’s dangerous and life threatening, then you’re in serious trouble . Emmett was a criminal rogue type of geezer, he would go out, doing illegal things, like nicking stuff from the petrol stations, doing hit and runs and gambling but he still cared for his mates. He hated kids, he hated kids with the passion, I don’t know what it is, it could have been something that sparked off his hatred against minors his past. Every time he comes across a kid, he just stares at them with a cold look. We always get a bunch of kids passing across the doorstep of my house.  One time, he got so annoyed because they sat on Emmett’s patio in his old house and they were leaving marks on the concrete floor and they were playing cards there . So Emmett got so angry that he snatched the pack of cards from them and he shuffled them around in his hands and then he chucked the cards at them, then he just chased after them, shouting ” Get out of here or I’ll kill you, you piece of Tory Scum ”, and he’s just had something against kids ever since. He hated kids, even though he was just a kid himself . But this time, he had a little awakening . He wanted to help the kids who were getting beaten up by The Day Break Boys. The Day Break Boys were one of the nastiest gangs around . The Rejects are nothing compared to them. They were like the Teddy boys but more demented, they would actually kill you instead of just beating you up . We try our absolute best to stay clear of them . But this time, well, he just had no choice .

” What’s going on here ?”, Emmett shouted, as he saw the gang going for a bunch of children .

” Those idiots are what’s going on here, they’re beating those little kids up ”, Jamie replied .

I haven’t seen Jamie so angry. He didn’t even know those kids. They had no relation whatsoever but it was his rensponibility to look out for the young ones. The responsibility was on him, just like he did with us, it’s his responsibility to keep us safe and if one of us gets killed or if one of us goes missing, he’ll be responsible for that . And he’s doing a bloody good job of it . But it’s up to him, even though it isn’t really his fault, but he’s the boss of the gang, he’s the first person who we go to when we’re in times of trouble, so that says a lot. Johnny hated every minute of it. It reminded him of getting abused by his old man. Seeing the kids getting beaten up, it reminded him of his life, he couldn’t bare it any longer .

” No, I have to go and do something, I can’t watch them getting beaten up, I mean, if someone you knew was getting attacked, would you do the same ?, I’m sorry, I need to go and do something about this, I can’t take it anymore ”, Johnny said . He tried to run, but Emmett stopped him. He was having none of it, he quickly stopped him in his tracks .

” No Johnny, stay in the back, I’m telling you, man, you’re not going anywhere, you’re staying here, Johnny !!, get over here, man, I’m telling you, if you go, I’m gonna hit you over the bonce ”, Emmett shouted. The kids were badily injured, they were bruised, they had bruises on their arms, their legs and they faces, Johnny couldn’t stand it anymore, he had to go and help them .

” Johnny, Noooo !!! ”, Travis shouted. Johnny ran over to protect the kids but the other gang didn’t approve. They started kicking and punching him and he was screaming in agony. Emmett spotted Johnny getting brutally attacked, he ran towards the gang and tried to rescue Johnny and the kids as well. Johnny was screaming in pain as he was sitting on the floor .

” I’m coming Johnny, fucking leave him alone, you cunt ”, Emmett shouted and he ran as fast as I could . Emmett punched their faces but by the time he got to Johnny, he was knocked out cold, he appeared to be kicked in the head, Emmett was furious . Dominick and Travis made endless attempts to help the kids, they just got stuck in . However, when Travis did, one of the kids bit him. Travis was furious as shit but he didn’t care about it, he cared more about rescuing the kids and making sure that they are safe . The kids were not badily injured, but they just had sprained ankles and a few bruises here and there, but it was nothing serious .

A few minutes later, an ambulance was called and they rushed Johnny to the hospital. It took a bit of time until they arrived, considering the roads were rather busy and all that shit . Dominick and Travis were in a different ambulance, Johnny was in the ambulance behind them. Emmett was also admitted to hospital but he wasn’t badly hurt, unlike Johnny was, but he was still getting treated for his injuries . Travis was resting in an ambulance. The paramedic was driving . Travis was trying to get up to see where Johnny was, He was very uneasy about where he was, even though he was only there for about three minutes, but the paramedic just made him lie down . Travis didn’t know where he was, until he gained conciousness and later found out that he was in an ambulance .

” Huh ?, where am I ?, oh fuck, what is this place, man, looks like a bloody transit van, who the hell put me in this shit ?”, Travis said as he got up slowly . The paramedic probably thought that Travis was demented . But overall, he’s just doing his job .

” Huh, where the fuck am I ?, I don’t like the look of this place, man, ohh, help me please, help me ”, Travis added .

” You’re ok, you’re alright, you’re just in an ambulance, you’re just injured a little bit, but it’s ok, cause I’m here to help, you’re safe with me, I’m just gonna take you to the hospital, it’s not that long left now, we’re on our way, we’ll get you there as quick as possible, alright ?”, the paremedic replied .

” Where’s Johnny ?, where is he ?, what did you do to him ?, oh don’t tell me he got hurt to ?”, Travis asked .

” He’s alright, he’s ok, he’s just in the ambulance behind us, a few cuts and bruises, but nothing serious, at least for now anyway, we’ll see how things go in the next few days. ” I have to say, you guys are bloody brilliant, you lads were so brave, I have never seen any young lads put themselves on the line for the young ones, those geezers are ruthless, man, you’ve gotta have your wits about ya, watch out, these days, these are dangerous times, You’ve gotta look out for the young ones, cause one day, they’ll be the ones who will be looking out for us, I’ve never seen anything like it, you should be proud of yourselves, I’m so suprised, I tell you that, it’s shocked me to my core, that thing, bloody hell ”, the paramedic said .

” Why, why are you surprised, what, just because we are working class and that we’re poor and we’re not privilaged, is that why ?, what are you saying, man, do you see any ponsies around here, who have just moved into the area, have you seen them, going out and doing what we do, no, you wanna know why, it’s because they are fucking useless, that’s why, they just bust each other’s chops and talk shit over fucking ice cream, don’t even try it, mate, don’t even think about trying it. ” Haha, did you really think we were ponsies ?, haha, whatever mr fat man, walk the line ”, Travis said . Travis could smell someone’s BS from a mile away .

” No no of course not, no, nothing like that, I’m just shocked on your actions, that’s all, class has nothing to do with it, the kids knew they were in good hands, I could never do what you did, no way ”, the paramedic said .

” Yeah well, I’m just glad that they are safe, I wouldn’t want nothing more ”, Travis said . Then he started laughing and winding up the paramedic . ” Haha, you what ?, you wanker, haha . ” Mr fat man, take me through the world of bullshit and rainbows, take me to the world of bullshit, heee heee heeeee ”, Travis sang to wind him up, then the paramedic silenced him .

” Shutttttttt ”, the paramedic shouted .

” Hahaha ”, Travis laughed .

Travis’s read

The paramedic reminded me of my old school teacher . Just the demented teachers you had in Woodbury Down, who had wooden canes and they would hit you on the bum if you talked back or misbehaved . I wasn’t really a trouble maker at my old school, but at the same time, I wasn’t an innocent boy. I’m not gonna try and act like I was innocent, cause I wasn’t, I had my days . My teacher was one of those characters where we would turn up at the school like bloody magic and he looks demented. No student would wanna mess with him, that’s all I can say . You’d end up getting your front teeth knocked out, you’ll end up looking like Jerry Dammers from The Specials. But anyway, he was alright, I can remember what he looked like as well, I remember him very vivildly, it’s supposed to be one of those things that you leave far behind once you leave school, but the memories are still stuck with me, it seems. My teacher would do some mad shit sometimes, as well as my old drum teacher, but that’s a story for another day .

It felt weird in the ambulance, it was very quiet, all I could hear were sirens, they just did my head in, it was just really repetitive . I couldn’t help but think about Johnny. That if he got badly injured, would he ever recover ?. The rest has just been a blur . I only remember being in the car and seeing some shit go down and a seeing a fight happen, but the rest, I don’t even remember, my brain is totally fucked. Oh well, at least it’s nothing serious. All of this is just happening too fast, I can’t keep track of time . I can’t believe this day had to end like this. I just hope that Johnny is okay. I’m hoping and praying and doing everything I can, really. After taking the piss out of the paramedic, I layed down to rest. When we arrived at the hospital, I was sitting in the waiting room and then, out of the blue, Emmett turns up on a cart and he’s being pulled away by medics .

” If you pull a stunt like that again, I’m gonna kill you, you mug, fucking hell ”, Emmett said as he pointed his finger at me and he almost poked my eye out. Emmett was vexxed, but didn’t know why he was vexxed in the first place . He’s not the one who got badly injured, he’s fine, Johnny’s the one who is badly injured and he can barely fucking move, he should be thankful that he’s alive, that ungrateful piece of fucking tar . He stared back at me whilst he was getting dragged away, I bet he doesn’t even know where he’s fucking going .  It was quiet in the hospital, the only thing you could hear was the sound of beeping heart monitors and quiet breathing. The doctors and nurses admitted Emmett to a room. The nurse checked in a few times, just to make sure that he was okay, like nurses always do, that’s their job and they do a bloody good job of it .

” Oh dear, where has your hospital gown gotten off to ?”, the nurse asked .

” I don’t know, actually, I think it ran off, you know, I think it got pissed off ”, Emmett replied .

” Oh don’t be silly, how could it run off, you’re supposed to be wearing it 24 7, so us doctors know whether or not you’re a patient, we don’t want any slip ups, do we now ?, plus, your body is fragile at the moment, you wear to stop you from getting cold and just so you don’t get an infection, look, everyone else is wearing it, you’re not the only one, come on, love, that’s it, put it on for me, darling ”, The nurse said .

” Just get out, get out, you’re doing my head in, hahaha, get out of it, haha, oh Gordon bennett, I’ve done my bleedin neck in, arghh . ” Jesus Christ, this is like fucking sydokoo, it’s a fucking nut house, they don’t even have a fucking phone here, bloody hell ”, Emmett said. Then suddenly, Dominick, Kevin, Travis and Jamie entered the room .

” Oh fucking hell, who’s that ?, oh it’s you guys, sorry, I thought someone broke in, some disgusting tramp ”, Emmett said. ” Hey man, how are you doing, man, it’s good to see you guys, man, it was getting pretty wild in here, man ”, he said .

” Alright Em, how’s it going, man, how are you getting on ?”, Dominick asked .

” Nah man, everything’s cool, just a bit chaotic, you know how things are, I had no idea I was going to a fucking hospital, it’s mental in here, they don’t even have a phone, can you believe that ?, are they fucking taking the piss ?”, Emmett replied .

” Well, of course they’re not gonna have a phone in here, you sleep in here, innit, there’s one in the reception though, in case you need to phone someone, you let the receptionest know, you daft twat ”, Dominick said .

” Anyway, what did the nurses say ?, did you hear anything from them yet ?”, Travis asked, as he tried to change the subject .

” You know what, I have no fucking clue, they just made up a bunch of bullshit about my bones, didn’t understand a word of what she just said, there was a nurse who came in earlier, she came and left, Ms Clarkson, I think her name was, yeah, she kept saying that my ankles and my bones were compatable, I don’t bloody know, she was off her head. ” Anyway, did you hear any news about Johnny ?, how’s he holding up ?”, Emmett asked .

” Um no, nothing yet, we just have to wait overnight, just in case the results come in ”, Dominick replied .

” Ok, what are we gonna do about the rumble then, is it still on ?”, Emmett asked .

” I don’t know, man, it depends on Johnny, well, for our own health as well but mostly for Johnny, it’s our only chance, go big or go home ”, Travis said .

” What are you fucking doing, put some clothes on, you mug ”, Kevin said . ” Where are your clothes gone ?”, he asked .

” I don’t bloody know, Kevin, the nurse asked me the same thing, they might have ended up somewhere, I don’t know ”, Emmett replied .

” Ok. ” Yeah, we’re just gonna pop in and see Johnny, we’ll come and visit you again later, alright ?”, Jamie said . ” We might pop in at about three oclock in the morning, let’s see ”, he added .

” Ok, of course, man, oh hey, can I borrow that knife for a sec ?, I’ll give it back to you later ”, Emmett asked .

” Sure, man, here you go, be careful with it, yeah ?, don’t cut yourself, it’s extremely sharp, I almost cut my finger, this morning, just use it very carefully ”, Jamie said and he gave him the pocket knife .

” Ah thanks, man, see you later ”, Emmett said and Dominick, Jamie, Travis and Kevin walked out the room . Emmett was playing around with the knife . He was officially stabbing a pillow. He bent down, he held the knife in one hand and cut it open and then he shouted at himself . He took all the anger and fustration out on himself, very Emmett of him to do so. When he’s not beating people up and throttling them, he’s shouting at himself. That’s really something else, wow . I’m lost for words. Emmett is a lunatic .

” We gotta get even with those geezers, we gotta even with them ”, Emmett shouted. Then, he turned on his side. ” Let’s do it for Johnny, man, do it for Johnny, we’re gonna fucking fuck them up, bat them all the way down to fucking hell ”, he shouted . There was an old lady who was in a room next door, she could hear Emmett shouting . She got frightened a bit .

” Ayy yay yay yay yeahhhh ”, Emmett chanted .

” Oh dear, oh what a palava . ” There’s a man shouting in the hospital, oh my god, oh my good god ”, she said .

” It’s alright, he’s not shouting anymore, see ”, the nurse said .

” We’re gonna fucking blow them up inside out, we’re gonna kill those twats, I’m telling you, there will be blood ”, Emmett shouted . Then he made a fist with his hand and punched the air and then he lied back down . Man’s just thinking about fighting, when most of us have ended up in deep shit, that’s the last thing on everyone’s minds . I’m just focused on getting Johnny out of the hospital and everything goes back to normal, life can go back to normal, as long as I know that everyone’s safe then that’s all I’m interested in . But Emmett just wants to beat the Rejects up, no hard feelings . He’s supposed to be focused on getting better, then he can do the rest of it after that’s out of the way . Emmett got up from his hospital bed and he got into a wheel chair and just tried to navigate his way around the hospital . Man’s really lost the plot now .

” Ahhhh, fucking hell, I’ve totally fucked it up this time, where am I fucking going ?”, Emmett said as he tried to move around in the wheel chair . ” Haha, I’ve got the wheel chair, fuck the patriachy, Emmett’s going down town, yes, now we’re talking, oh shit, I have no idea how this thing works, ah this is sick, haha ”, Emmett said . ” Wheels, wheels of steels ”, Emmett sang high pitched . ” Haha, bloody hell ”, he said. ” I’ve leashed the fucking, fucking shit with no clothes ”, Emmett shouted .

” Coming through, coming through, fucking ring ring ”, Emmett said . As he navigated his way through the hospital. There was some woman who was discussing a health problem with a nurse.

” Yeah, he’s gone all sore down there, I think he’s gonna need a hip replacement, you know, how long do they take, usually ?”, one of the mums asked about her son needing a hip replacement .

” Well um, usually they take a few days, a few weeks or so, cause obviously, you know, we need to take a good look at it, those sorts of things can take months sometimes, but we’ll see what we can do, unless you know, if you wanna do it then we can call you in and we can discuss this properly ”, the nurse said .

” Oh you know what, yeah, that would be, that would be fantastic, thank you very much, we’ll ring you up in the next few days if he’s feeling a bit different ”, the mum said . ” These things are a hassle sometimes, you know, I ring them up but then they’re all busy with other patients, it’s that sort of thing, really ”, she said .

Then suddenly he fell off the wheel chair and someone saw him lying on the floor . I have no idea why he was on a wheel chair . It’s for someone else’s use, not his, bloody hell, he’s barely bruised, why does he need a fucking wheel chair for ?.

” Oh dear ”, the mum said as she saw Emmett fall off the wheel chair .

” Oh bloody hell, mr Yohanson, stay in bed, for goodness sake, who the fuck gave him a wheel chair ?, they’re mad ”, one of the nurses said .

” Haha, hello, woman, haha, oh god, I’ve done my bleedin back in, now I guess I’ll need a wheel chair for real ”, Emmett said .

” Get up, you silly boy ”, the nurse said .

” Is there a way where you can carry me back ?, my legs feel like jelly from lying on the bed all day ”, Emmett asked .

” Of course not, now come on, get up, you’re okay ”, the nurse said and Emmett got up slowly .

” Ahhh, this is a fucking nightmare ”, Emmett shouted . ” Put your back into it, oh shit, what am I, a wheel barrow ?, piss off, you salty slag ”, Emmett said .

Meanwhile, Dominick, Travis and Kevin went to go and visit Johnny. He was getting treated with therapy, here and there. He was flat on his stomach, he had bruises on his face and all over his body . He looked awful . It must be scary, ending up like that when you’re only 15 years old. It must be terrifying .  I can’t imagine being in the same position as him . Lying on that bed, knowing that you’re probably gonna die within the next few days, it’s scary . He was in total agony . Travis opened the door slowly .

” Hey Johnny, how you doing ?”, Travis asked, as he looked down at him. Johnny was struggling to speak, it took a bit long for him to respond .

” Alright Travis, not so good, if I’m honest with you, I’m a bit sore, my legs and my lower back is gone, I feel kind of stiff ”, Johnny replied .

” Ok, does it hurt it all ?”, Travis asked .

” Yeah, I feel very sore, man, I think I’m gonna be paralyzed for quite some time, to be honest with you, I don’t think I’ll ever be able to walk again, not even with crutches or not even a wheel chair ”, Johnny replied as he was still in pain . He was in an enourmous amount of pain . ” I don’t even know how I’m gonna do this, Travis, I can’t go on like this, how am I gonna move on, I can’t move on, not with this, not with you guys ”, Johnny said .

” We’ll figure something out, we always do. ” Bloody clever, those doctors, innit, just tell them what’s wrong and they’ll fix it, bloody amazing, they are, I’m sure they’ll come around, they’ll get you out of here as quick as possible ”, Travis said . ” Alright Johnny, just let the nurses know if you need anything, yeah ?, we’ll just be round the back ”, Dominick said . On the way out, they came across John’s mother . Johnny hated her guts, she abused him quite a lot back at home, he didn’t wanna think twice about seeing her .

” Mr Branson, your mum is here, she wants to see you ”, the nurse said .

” No, I don’t wanna see her, tell her to go away ”, Johnny shouted .

” She wants to talk to you, it’s your mother, she’s right here ”, the nurse said, she just didn’t give up .

” Look, I don’t want to see her, alright ?, all she’s gonna do is tell me off and ground me for all the trouble I’ve been doing outside, just tell her to leave me alone ”, Johnny shouted. He had a voice crack and he suddenly passed out. His mum was still demanding to see him, she was fuming .

” How dare you not let me see my son, how could you do that to your own mother ?”, she shouted. Kevin had a go at her, he was having none of it. It was time for him to give her a ruddy good send off .

” No wonder why he hates you, no wonder why he hates your guts, you don’t give a shit about him, you damn drunk, you go to hell, you go right to hell, you think he wants to see you and you know what, he doesn’t, you’ve done fuck all for him all your life, so why now ?, piss off, you uncaring piece of shit ”, Kevin shouted. He was devestated and he started crying, as well as Travis . It became a bit too much, so the guards dragged her away after she refused to leave the hospital . At this moment in time, Johnny was fighting for his life. He put good out in the world but he recieved bad luck in return. He wanted to make sure that the kids were safe and okay, but he got badly hurt instead . He was glad that the kids were okay and healthy and he took the condition instead, cause he didn’t want the kids to suffer . Johnny is an absolute miracle. We take him for granted sometimes, he’s more then just a silly old bugger. The kid still had some fire in him after all . Dominick and Kevin went back to Travis and Jamie and me, we were there, just sitting in the waiting room and they went to hug us .

” How’s Johnny ?, is he alright ?, what’s going on in there ?”, Jamie asked .

” I don’t know, man, they’re saying that he might never wake up or he might never be treated, they’re doing the best they can, the poor kid, all he wanted was the kids to stay out of trouble ”, Dominick replied . ” He’s just lying there, he’s wasting his life away, god help the poor sod ”, he added .

” I can’t even imagine what life would be like if we lost him, he’s a great member of the gang, I just hope that he pulls through, that’s all I want, I don’t want anything more. ” God,  I don’t even wanna look at him, this is god awful ”, Jamie said .

” It has to be okay, it has to be, he can’t die now, he’s only 15, he hasn’t even lived his life yet, he’s young, he is, he can’t just throw his life away just like that, oh, I don’t know ”, Travis said .

” What about Emmett ?, does he know that Johnny is in critical condition ?, how are we gonna break the news to him ?”, Jamie asked .

” No, I don’t think we can ever tell him, he gets quite sensetive when it comes to these sorts of things, I think it’s best to wait ”, Dominick replied .

” Wait for what, until he dies ?”, Kevin asked .

” No, he just has a lot on his mind at the moment, he’s thinking about the rumble and all that malaky, it has to be okay, I’m sure that he’ll come through, fingers crossed, he’s a fighter, that one ”, Dominick replied .

” Well, I’m hoping that he pulls through, touch wood ”, Jamie said as he knocked on the table with this knuckles, then Travis, Dominick, Kevin and I went to go and hug Jamie and we hugged each other, very tight and didn’t let each other go. We were like choking each other . But you can do that sometimes, it’s a way of showing someone that you really love them, you can give them a hug, just to show them how much you care . I don’t even want to let him go, Johnny is a good lad, letting him go astray was one of my biggest fears, I don’t want to let him go, the poor thing is in there, taking his last breath and experiencing everything for the last time ever .

” Poor Johnny, ay, what did he to do to deserve this, it’s a cruel world out there, man ”, I said .

” Guys, no matter what happens, yeah ?, we’ll always be okay, Eagles never die, we’ll rise up, like we always do, and you know what we’re gonna do, we’re gonna take part in the rumble tomorrow night, we’ll do it for Johnny, we’ll bring the victory home ”, Jamie said .

” Yeah, we’ll do it for the boy ”, Travis said . Johnny remains in intensive care, making the most of his final days, even though he’s in pain .

Tomorrow, the gang will be taking part in the rumble, they’ll do the honors for Johnny and give him a night to remember. Later on in the night, Travis was out with Kevin. Suddenly, Gloria turned up and she wanted to talk to him, Travis wasn’t quite happy with her. She made his life utterly miserable ever since they went their seperate ways. He despised her after she dumped him in the worst way ever, and that was showing the person that you’re dating some other geezer right in front of his face . It was a massive poison arrow to the heart . Travis could never forgive her right after she did that .

” Hey Travis, wait up ”, Gloria shouted, Travis wasn’t expecting to see her . It was like ” Hello, I’m here ”, but no one knows why she’s there though .

Travis’s read}

” Guess who I came across on my back home, I can’t fucking believe it, it was Gloria . What the bloody hell is she doing here, scurying back for more, is she ?, puh . I thought we had gone our seperate ways, but unfortunatly, the Megenta wishy washy two faced bitch has appeared again, two weeks after I have totally forgotten about her, what a bitch, honestly . I couldn’t bring myself to speak to her, originally, I was trying to walk away from her, wherever the wind was taking me, but she had turned up out of nowhere and started walking towards me like some Grey Lady ghost bitch. Please help me. Send someone down here and take this woman away, I’ve had enough already . We’re all dying anyway, I’m drowning anyway, why does it matter ?, just do what you want, go find that Logan geezer, you don’t need to come and tell me about it, we all know that love isn’t fucking blind, so just go with it, that’s what life is about, you live it . Don’t fucking come up to me . What does she even see in that Logan geezer anyway ?, I honestly don’t know what she sees in him . What you women see in him, I’ll never know . He’s just being a daft prat . What’s so lovey about that ?. I just hope that she keeps this nice and short, I wanna go home and forget about all this . I’m bushwacked .

” Gloria, what are you doing here ?”, Travis asked .

” Oh nothing much, I was just out and I noticed you, thought I’d have a chat, I just wanna say that I’m sorry, last night was awfully embarrassing ”, Gloria replied .

” Yeah ”, Travis said .

” How’s your mate ?”, Gloria asked .

” I don’t know, Gloria, he’s just up and down, not so good, really, the boy’s just reached his peak, you know, do you wanna come and see him, he’s alone in there, you know, he’d very much appreciate it if someone went in there with him, you can go and say hello, quickly if you want ”, Travis said .

” No, I can’t, he killed Carter, or maybe Carter asked for it, I know he did, but honestly, Carter was a great man, when you get to know him, when he’s not three sheets to the wind, he can be real sweet, so I can’t, sorry Travis, I would but I can’t ”, Gloria said .

” Yeah well, that’s fine, we can go and give him company ourselves, we’ve known Johnny longer then you have, we don’t need your damn charity . Don’t even bother showing up then, this is absolute bollocks. ” I’m walking away, bye bye ”, Travis sang and he was going to walk away but Gloria stopped him .

” Travis, I wasn’t trying to give you charity, wouldn’t you help someone if you could ?”, Gloria asked .

” Can you see the sunsets in the West real good ?”, Travis asked .

” Yeah, real good, they’re beautiful down there, when you see them, you really see them ”, Gloria replied .

” You could see the sunsets in the North side too ”, Travis said as he smiled .

” Thanks Travis, that’s real sweet of you ”, Gloria said .

” So how’s Logan then, is he alright ?”, Travis asked .

” Yeah he’s alright, up and down, you know, as always, when is he not alright ?, that’s how he is, can’t do much about that, I’m afraid ”, Gloria replied .

” Hm ok. ” Well listen, if he does get a bit too much for you, just get away from all that, and you can turn to me, and I’ll listen, I’ll be here, I’m always here, Gloria, if you need me, you’ll know where to find me ”, Travis said . Gloria stared at me, you could see that she was broken inside .

” Come back to me ”, Gloria said as a tear rolled down her face . Through the eyes of a very compassionate soul .

” I haven’t gone anywhere, I never left ”, Travis said .

” Alright, Travis ”, Gloria said .

” See you around ”, Travis said .

” Come on Kevin, we’re going ”, Travis said and he walked off .

” Wait, send Johnny my love, yeah ?”, Gloria shouted .

” Alright will do, see ya ”, Travis said and he walked off with Kevin .

Travis dealt with it the right away. The Eagles and The Rejects aren’t any different from each other, they’re all the same at the end of the day . Gloria showed some real concern over everything that happened between Carter . Gloria wasn’t Carter’s girlfriend, but her partner was great friends with Carter, Logan was in the same gang as him, so they had good chemistry . Johnny carried on staying in the intensive care unit. Tomorrow, The Eagles and The Rejects are going to battle it out, face to face with each other in the rumble and they’re gonna win it for Johnny and they’re gonna give him a night to remember .

Watch out, Rejects, The Eagles are gonna make history !!!!!!

End of chapter

 

 

 

The Kids On The East Side Of Town, Chapter 9, Memories, Seems Like Yesterday

It was 10 pm at night, it was really quiet, there were about one or two cars out on the road . We were getting ready to go to the arcade, we were all walking up to the car . Emmett drove this time. Travis’s car was out of petrol. Emmett was messing around with the car, swerving down the road without using hands on the steering wheel like a complete maniac. He’s probably had thousands of run ins with the police, I don’t know that, for sure, but from seeing what he does, I can get an idea. It’s enough evidence to say that Emmett is mad .

” Hey guys, let me show you this trick, I learned it yesterday, on the way to the petrol station, get ready to have your minds blown, let’s see what this baby could do, 88 miles per hour, you’re gonna see some serious shit ”, Emmett said .

” Oh, not again, Emmett, how many times have you been doing this ?”, Dominick asked .

” Thousands, that’s how many ”, Emmett replied .

” Right, and what if the police see us doing this at 10 pm at night, what are we gonna do, play for kicks ?”, Jamie asked .

” I don’t care, I couldn’t give a shit, no fucker can ruin this moment, f the system, f the police, f the authorities ”, Emmett said, as he swerved the car and almost crashed the car into a lampost. We all knew that it would happen, at some point. Unpredictable, bloody umpredictable .

” Who the hell put that there ?”, Emmett said .

” What the hell happened, did we just crash into a lampost, who taught you how to drive, Prince Phillip ?”, Liam shouted .

” You’re talking pure bologne, who the hell is Prince Phillip, I don’t even know who that is, I’m not that familiar with the royal family, don’t even test me ”, Emmett said .

” You know what, never mind, just carry on driving ?”, Liam said, and Emmett started driving again .

” Guys, do you know what, I’ve been thinking of qualifying to be a taxi driver, how does that sound ?”, Emmett said .

” Bahaha”, Kevin said, as he broke out laughing. ” You, a taxi driver, are you taking the piss ?”, Kevin asked .

” No, I’m not, I’m gonna take a driving test and I’ll apply for the job, these people need more recruits, what do you reckon, I reckon I have a chance at this ”, Emmett replied .

” I mean, I’m not really gonna take the piss, it’s up to you, really, it’s your choice and it’s your body, you can do whatever you want with it, it’s your life, your rules, I don’t have the right to judge you, I say go for it, the world’s your oyster ”, Johnny said .

” Thank you, Johnny, at least somebody gets me, unlike you guys, taking the piss out of everything ”, Emmett said .

” Ok ok, we’re sorry, didn’t mean to upset you, we just don’t see you as a taxi driver, it’s weird, we’re just not used to seeing it, that’s all, there’s no need to get all testy about it ”, Jamie said .

” Ok, it’s fine, it’s just some banter, I’ll let you off on this occasion. ” Ok guys, I’m gonna turn on the radio ”, he said, then he turned on the radio. Bohemian Rhapsody came on and everybody started head banging and singing. After that, Travis totally cheered up. After their carpool karaoke moment, they finally arrived at the arcade and they also went bowling and they gambled, they played on the machines, they had a great time . When they were done, they drove back home, Emmett and Johnny were talking about films. They have the best chats, unless it’s about a cat walking on it’s hind legs, or how far Emmett can kick his shoe off his foot and lands in the dust bin. They were having quite a pleasant conversation, I’ll take that over Emmett’s shoe conversation any day .

”  Johnny, what’s your favorite film ?”, Emmett asked .

” That’s a trick question, I like so many films, but if I had to choose one, I would have to say The Karate Kid, either that or The Outsiders, why not both ”, Johnny replied .

” Nice, I’d say Scarface ”, Emmett said .

” Great choice, how many times have you seen that film ?”, Johnny asked .

” Oh, I’ve seen that film about 10 times, since it came out in 83, I can watch it about 100 times, without fail, I can’t seem to get enough of it ”, Emmett replied .

” That’s a lot, you must really love it, huh ”, Johnny said .

” I do ”, Emmett said .

” You do know that it’s based off a true story, right ?”, Dominick asked .

” What, get out of it, really ?”, Emmett said, as he turned around .

” Yeah of course, one of the most notorious crime lords in mob history, Mafioso Al Capone, involved in the drug trade in 1980 in Miami, bloody mad, all of that just done in the day ”, Dominick replied .

” Oh shit, that’s brutal, I can’t look at it the same way anymore, sick film though, Al Pacino absolutely killed it ”, Emmett said .

” Yeah, it’s more melovelant then you think, there’s more to the story, I just won’t go into detail, we’ll all go home, having sleepless nights for 10 weeks until it’s fully erased, you’re gonna have to sleep with one eye open tonight ”, Dominick said .

” Yeah, what’s your favorite film, Johnny ?”, Emmett asked .

” I’d say that The Karate Kid is my favorite film ever, whenever I watch it, I get goosebumps, it’s legendary, have you seen it ?”, Johnny asked .

” Uh yeah, who hasn’t seen it, I watched it when I was like 12, it stuck with me throughout my whole childhood, always made my grandfather hold planks of wood and I used to pretend that I was doing the crane kick, I was a wild child when I was little, god blimey ”, Emmett replied. ” Mr Miyagi was my childhood idol ”, Emmett added. ” ah hah, Bonsai Daniel San ”, Emmett shouted .

” Ah hah hah hah, Bonsai, nice one Emmett ”, Johnny said .

” What are you guys rambling on about ?”, Liam asked .

” Liam, are you alright, you seem a bit lost ?”, Emmett said .

” I’m fine, Emmett, it’s just hard to hear stuff when there’s a bunch of voices menouvering around in a car, can you run that past me again ?”, Liam asked .

” We’re talking about films, do you have a favorite ?, what’s the one film that you rave about, one that makes you go Wow ?”, Emmett asked .

” This is a torture question, why you gotta do me like this, is this where you get your pleasure from, I bet you’re loving this, seeing a man bleed to death by one person’s torture and stupidity ”, Liam said .

” Look, Liam, just go with it, it will end, just tell us what your favorite film is, then we can get this over with, be the life of the party, not the one who makes it flop ”, Emmett said .

” Right ok, um, I like so many films, but I’d have to say Top Gun ”, Liam replied .

” That’s a good one ”, Travis said .

” Dominick, what about you ?”, Emmett asked . ” It doesn’t have to be a film that you like, it could be a film that you hate ”, Emmett added .

” Anything with love in it, it really pisses me off, somehow ”, Dominick replied .

” Why, why do you hate love so much, what did love ever do to you ?”, Emmett asked . ” Love Conquers all, for god sake, why do you hate it ?”, Emmett added .

” It’s because they always bloody get some woman to fall in love, head over hills for some geezer who’s been an absolute piece of shit to her, film critics say that it’s romantic, but it’s the bloody opposite, it makes me vomit in my mouth every time, they did that with The Breakfast Club, made Claire fall in love with that bloody rat, I know that you should never rule out love making between a man and a woman, but the topic just makes me wanna jump out of a window ”, Dominick replied .

” Wow, what a tough life, Dominick ”, Kevin said. ” All around me are familiar faces ”, Kevin sang to wind him up .

” Oh shut up ”, Dominick said .

” Ok Kevin, what’s yours ?”, Emmett asked .

” My favorite film is Back To The Future, cause I’ve always believed in flying cars and time machines, even though they don’t exist, but who knows, maybe in the future, we’ll have them, but only the future knows ”, Kevin replied .

” Hahaha, he believes, haha, I believe, I believe, I believe, haha ”, Johnny shouted, as he waved his arms about .

” Yes, we all believe, he believes, he believes, that woman believes, you believe, I believe, but the thing is that we don’t know what to believe in, you can believe in fuck all, as far as I know ”, Liam said .

” I believe in flying cars, they already exist, they’re called dust bins, see, what you do is, you put a person in there, don’t let he or she escape, keep them in there for as long as possible, don’t muck it up, then what you do, is you boot it into the air, it goes for miles and miles, but you have to put enough force into it, and it floats in the air, it takes you to whatever destination you want to go to, there you go, flying car ”, Emmett said.

” That’s not a flying car though, that’s just bloody stupid, you’ll just be seen causing havvock across town ”, Jamie said .

” They really need to get a move on with that, I wanna stick around for a few more years to experience flying cars and robots, everyone’s gonna live in green houses, communism is gonna be on the rise, we’ll have idiots running the country, singers are gonna have to sing into broom sticks, yeah, what an extraordinary future ?”, Johnny said .

” Yeah. I love films, as long as it’s not that one where some geezer is dancing on a plank of wood, like bloody wood tappers, then there’s this man who’s dancing in the street, imagine if you’re trying to get to the hospital, gran’s dying, then there’s this geezer who’s in the street and he’s like ” Eh bee, eh ”, like get out of the bloody road, if a film doesn’t include all that shit, I’ll be the first in line to watch it at the cinema ”, Emmett said .

” Yeah, maybe we should go to the drive in, sometime, Emmett ”, Johnny asked .

” Yeah, absolutely ”, Emmett said. suddenly, a song came on. It was Heroes by David Bowie. Johnny couldn’t help but get up and stick his head through the roof top of the car and dance .

” Oh my god, Heroes, oh I love this song, I need to do this, I have to do this ”, Johnny said .

” Do what ?”, Dominick asked .

” Dance, I’m gonna stick my head out of the roof of the car, this is my moment, I need to do this, at least once, before I die, I’m living in the moment, cease the day ”, Johnny replied .

” Johnny, what the hell are you doing, man ?”, Travis asked .

” Cease the day ”, Johnny shouted .

” Oh cool ”, Dominick said .

” Oh my god, man, what is this kid doing ?, he’s dancing on the roof ”, Liam said. Emmett unlocked the car roof and Johnny stood up and stretched his arms in the air and he was cherishing the moment, as the wind blows in his face, he felt alive . Everybody was laughing and they were having so much fun. Johnny started singing from the top of his lungs. The boy thinks he’s Van Halen, he can’t sing like Halen and he definetely don’t have the moves like Halen .

” We can be heroes, just for one day, we can be heroes, forever and forever, whatcha say ?. ” I, I won’t be king, and you, you won’t be queen, nothing, no nothing will tear us apart, we can be heroes, just for one day ”, Johnny sang, as he dazed into the sky with his arms in the air .

” Johnny, you never told us that you could sing ”, Jamie said .

” Yeah, I don’t really sing much, but I feel like now is my time to shine, I feel so alive, I’ve never felt so alive ”, Johnny said .

” Hah, are you taking the piss, Johnny can’t sing to save his life, sounds like a hoover sucking up dirt ”, Kevin said . ” I mean, have you heard him, it’s like, ” woah Woahwoahwoah woah ”, Kevin said, as he mocked Johnny’s voice .

” Hey, I heard that, I can hear, you know ?, I’ve got pretty good hearing, I can detect what you’re saying from a mile away ”, Johnny said .

” Whoops ”, Kevin said .

” Woop woop woop, wowowowow, epic fail, guilty ”, Dominick said, and they all laughed all night long, having a cracker of a time. When the song ended, another song came on and it was A Little Respect by Erasure, everybody started singing along with Johnny .

” Oh my god, Erasure, I love this song, what a coincidence, am I right ?”, Dominick said .

” Yeah, I made this special mix tape, it has a bunch of 60s and 80s pop and rock tunes, I made it a few months ago, I used to go on drives at midnight, ever since I got my license, I have been driving ever since ”, Emmett said .

” Oh my god, ok, I need to dance, otherwise, this song will end and I’m gonna go to bed, really gutted, all I wanted  was to dance to Erasure in an open car, I get the most unexplainable feeling, if only you were here to experience this, you’re missing out, greatly ”, Johnny said .

” Nah, I’d rather I didn’t ”, Emmett said .

” Yeah, save some for later, you know what I mean ?”, Travis said. Johnny got up once again and stuck his head through the roof of the car and started singing his heart out, he was having the time of his life, he didn’t want it to end. 20 minutes later, the gang got out and sat on the car. Emmett smoked a cigarette and they all got some fresh air, they all watched the stars. The stars were beautiful tonight, almost too beautiful, if you know what I mean . Jamie, Dominick, Travis, Johnny and Kevin were lying on the car, watching the stars and listening to some tunes on the stereo in the car, mainly a bunch of songs from the Tornados, including Telstar and The Ice Cream Man, me and Emmett were having a chat about gambling .

” Hey Emmett, have you um, ever gambled before ?”, I asked .

” Oh yes of course I have, casino, all night long, but every single time I go there, I lose about 100 quid, there’s not been one time where I’ve won anything ”, Emmett replied .

” Well, you know what they say, you win some, you lose some, that’s how it goes, innit ?”, I said .

” You’re bloody well right, you are ”, Emmett said .

” Yeah so, which one do you go to then ?, you go to the one down Soho ?”, I asked .

” Oh um, I actually can’t remember what it’s called, but there’s one in Dalston, I go there, sometimes, and like, there’s always these people in suits, standing in the corner of the room, waiting to rob you, they had many of those in the 70s, but if I go to a casino, I always go somewhere else, those geezers give me the creeps, I swear, they have seven eyes, one looking at ya, one looking for ya, one looking over ya, one looking at you from up there, gordon bennet ”, Emmett replied .

” Yeah, it’s sort of like that episode of Minder, do you remember that, they had those people who just rob you relentless of your money, you walk into the casino, with more then 10 bob in your wallet, then you come out of the casino, empty handed, no money for food, no money for electric bills, just wasted on casino hipsters, or whatever they’re bloody called ”, I said .

” I’ve always felt like Arthor and Terry were one of the best duos in television, they were hilarious, like two mad narcotics detectives, but like gangsters instead, even though they hated each other, they were great as a duo, don’t you think ?”, I asked .

” Yeah, I felt like Arthor was so tight, what a dodgy, snide git, haha, I loved that programme, it used to come on when I got back home from school, I used to have like beans on toast and watch a marathon of them, and I still do, believe it or not, just not as much as I used to, and um, half of my mates had no idea what I was watching, they were like ” Why are you watching that shit for ?” ” What a load of old shit ”, but then I showed it to them, I showed the first ever episode, when it first aired in 79, the one with the laundrette and from that moment on, they got glued to it, they were like ” This is one of the best things I’ve ever seen ”, I was like ” You gits, it took you that long to like something ”, Emmett said .

” Yeah, we should watch it one day, that’ll be wicked, I love it, it always used to be a right old laugh ”, I said .

” Yeah, it always used to take my mind off of problems and stuff, the tv was my teacher, growing up, tv never beats you up, tv never manipulates you, tv never lied about coming home, tv was always there for me, till the very end ”, Emmett said . ” Hey Liam, remember that drama that started in the early 80s, this programme called Boys From The Black Stuff, remember that programme ?”, Emmett asked .

” Oh yeah, Boys From The Black Stuff, I remember, God, what a piece of television, ay ?”, I said .

” Yeah, I love that programme, it was great, mad though, bloody hell ”, Emmett said .

” Yeah, is it that programme where it had that bit where everybody was made reduntant and they were all in this pub ?”, I asked .

” Yeah, the Green Man pub, the last episode was by far my favorite, cause like, that bloke is in it, um, what’s his name, ughh, I’ve gone blank now, um, oh yeah, Iggy Nevaro, he played the character Shake Hands ”, Emmett said .

” Oh yeah, that thing, yeah that thing was so funny, he used to like crush everyone’s hands, haha ” Shake Hands ”, iconic, probably one of the best moments in tv history ”, I said .

” Innit, so wicked, man, you took the words straight out of my mouth, yeah, I’m gonna do that from now on, if I go in a pub, I’m just gonna go up to someone and force them to shake my hand, even if they don’t want to, then I’d buy them a beer ”, Emmett said .

” Yeah, that would be hilarious, everybody in that pub is mad, one person’s singing, the other is shouting, the other is whistling and then you have some chap hiding under the table from Shake Hands, absolute chaos, that episode was really good, George’s Last Ride, I think it was called, it’s really underrated, it needs more recognition, just shows you how it was in the early Thatcher days, pretty grim, and to think that it was a only a few years on from now, it’s mind bobbing, but we went through the real thing, did we, ay ?”, I said .

” Yeah, we went through all that, we didn’t have jobs but we all grew up, seeing it happen all around us, feast and famine, love and loss, we’ve seen it all, it’s just every man for himself, around here, it’s a dog eat dog world, I’m telling you ”, Emmett said . ” I just watch those sorts of programmes to make me forget about my problems and stuff ”, Emmett added .

” Um, Emmett, if you don’t mind me asking, is everything alright back at home ?”, I asked .

” Well, no, not really ”, Emmett replied .

” What’s going on at home, are there any problems ?”, I asked .

” Well, this is between you and me, there is stuff happening at home, and it’s not good stuff, I tell you that ”, Emmett replied .

” Okay, what’s happening, is anything happening with your parents or anything ?”, I asked .

” Yes, yes there is, and um, I don’t really share this sort of information with anyone, soley because, nobody has ever asked me if I was ok and I cover it up, I wasn’t always the same bad boy you know today, back when I was in prison, I was doing time and um, my dad was like ” My son is a disgrace, he’s a jail bird ”, like jabbing his fingers in my face, I often found him talking about me behind my back, on the outside, I try to act strong and tough, like bloody Stretch Armstrong or some shit, like I’m supposed to bloody stretch and bounce back into my natural form, which I couldn’t do that if I tried, I just fail miserably, but it’s like I try to act tough, like nothing can touch me, but on the inside, I’m really in pain, I mean, imagine getting disowned by your very own father, the person that was supposed to be there, since birth, but ended up leaving after pregnancy, after wanting to conceive, gone, no where to be seen, but who am I to blame ?”, Emmett explained .

” Sounds like an absolute scumbag, what a piece of scum ”, I said .

” Yeah, I know, that’s what we all say, but nobody really understands the concept of it, but that’s life, you wake up, one morning, feeling great and then, suddenly, life throws a massive piping steaming shit in your mouth and life is totally unfair ” Emmett said .

” Yeah, for the most parts, yes, but I have been taught that defeat does not exist in this gang, does it ?”, I asked .

” No, of course it doesn’t ”, Emmett replied . ” Defeat is for pussies and I’m not a pussy ”, he added .

” You’ll be absolutely fine, life is tough, but it can’t get to Emmett Yohanson, not him, you’re bigger then that, you can just shoo it away, it doesn’t belong here, you show life who’s boss ”, I told him .

” Yeah I guess, but you can’t predict for that to happen, it’s full of shocks and surprises, it’s full of smoke and mirrors, I could either get in a car crash or get stabbed or shot by someone, I can’t live like this, Liam ”, Emmett said . ” I’m telling you, Liam, if I’m not back again, this time tomorrow, just carry on ”, he added .

” No Emmett, that will never happen, I thought that you weren’t scared of those sorts of things, you roam the streets like nothing happens, there’s all sorts of shit happening out there, gang violence, riots, skin heads, all of that stuff is happening as we speak, aren’t you scared of it ?”, I asked .

” Well, just because I’m an 18 year old bad boy, doesn’t mean that I’m not scared to face the world, I have my days, it’s not what you think, there’s more to me then meets the eye ”, Emmett said .

” Yeah, do your parents know that you are out on the streets, swanning around like willy nilly, nicking petrol stations and doing hit and runs, or are they three sheets to the wind ?”, I asked .

” Well, even if they did, they wouldn’t care, they wouldn’t give a shit if I get in a car accident or a collision, they don’t care if I get banged up in prison, they don’t care, but that doesn’t bother me, nun ?”, Emmett shouted .

” Look, you don’t need your parents to care, you can live your own life, you’re 18, even though that’s a bit young, but still, it’s better then being in a bubble with two abusive parents who hit you all of the time ”, I told him . ” It’s not worth it, Emmett, it really isn’t, the toll it’s gonna take on you, it’s not worth it ”, I added .

” Yeah, thanks man, I appreciate it ”, Emmett said, and he went in for a hug, the poor boy just wanted a hug, he’s been through a lot, he’s been through a lot of pain, and for what ?. He doesn’t deserve any of it .

” So, what’s it like in prison ?, if you don’t me asking ”, I asked .

” It’s everything, it’s dark and it’s cold, you can hear the sound of faint footsteps of the prison guards going back and forth from prison cells, I made some friends as well, I once got in a punch up with a guy named Sketchy, he had a bit of a temper ”, Emmett replied .

” Really ?, holy shit ”, I said .

” Yeah, holy shit ”, Emmett muttered . ” On the first day of staying in prison, I had many grudges, I was very unsure whether I was gonna spend half of my life in a gory place like that, it was an absolute shit hole, but on my 10th day of living in prison, I started to get used to it, I made some friends, we play cards together, we talk about drag races, I started to really get a grip on my life and my surroundings, it may not be suitable for blokes like you, but it’s fine for youngsters like me ”, Emmett said .

” Yeah, it would be harsh for youngsters like you to spend nights in a prison, don’t you think ?, it’s a lot to take in ”, I said .

” Oh no, definetely not, I mean, my home isn’t any different to the prison I go to, it’s the same thing, really, the banging on the doors, the roar of the mould on the walls, it’s definetely the same, there’s no difference, and I feel better staying in a place that’s made for me ”, Emmett replied . ” Prison is like home to me, home sweet home ”, Emmett added .

” Well, let me tell you something, there will be one day where you are not delinquent material anymore, and you can live like a normal young chap, just like one of us ”, I told him .

” Really ?”, Emmett asked, as he looked at me .

” Yeah, of course, you’ll be great, you have a great future ahead of you ”, I said. ” In five or six years time, you will be stinking rich, I see you in May Fair, in a massive mansion, driving an expensive car, making money for your dream job, get a bird, get married, right ?”, I said .

” Yeah, exactly, I’d love that, I wouldn’t love anything more, I just don’t want to live in fear, that’s all, that’s all I want, really, nothing more, nothing less, not living in fear ”, Emmett said .

” Yeah, it’ll happen, one day, just hang in there, you have a lot to look forward to, you’re only 18, you have a long way to go ”, I said .

” Thanks for the sympathy, but it’s just bobbins, there’s no easy way out for me, there are encounters that I just can’t escape, I’m just a jail bird, and I can’t do anything about it ”, Emmett said .

” What a load of pony, you’re not a jailbird, your parents have no idea what a jail bird even is, they probably think it means house proud or something, that’s not what it means, you know what I’m saying, it’s just complete bobbins, honestly ”, I said . ” What happened to class, nowadays, whatever happened to standards, no one has intelligence, no one has a brain, what on earth happened to society, where is it leading us to ?”, I said .

” Hah hah hah, yeah, either way, I’m not listening to anything, I’m just going with my gut, if it speaks to me, I listen to it. ” I’m useless ” . ” Did I tell you about the time where I wanted to be a rock star ?”, he asked .

” Yeah, I think you might have told me bits of it, I remember you telling me that you were helpless about what job you wanted to have, did you want to be a rock star ?”, I asked .

” I’ve always wanted to be a rock star or something between the lines of singer or artist, I’ve dreamt about making a crowd roar, when you’re up there and you’re doing your thing, and everyone’s just going blotto, it takes a lot to impress an audience. I wanted to be the one who paves the way for many new singers and stars. I’ve had high hopes, so I told my dad about it, I sat down with him in the sitting room and said ” Dad, I wanna be a rock star ”, my dad was in denial, he was like ” You wanna be a rock star, you’ll never make it out in the real world, my son, go to your room, you stupid dreamer ”, so I was like ” But dad, I really wanna be a rock star, just give me a chance, I can stand on that stage and I can win people’s hearts by giving them what they want, I’ll be the new David Bowie ”, but then, he he goes ” No no no no no no, you must serve Jesus, why do you wanna be a rock star for, you couldn’t rock to save your life, you useless, stupid, good for nothing pum ”, so here I am, I didn’t consider getting into the arts, instead, I’m here, digging shit from the ground, jumping over fences, egging the post office, I have no idea where I’m going in life, I feel like a failure ”, Emmett explained .

” Bloody hell, what an arsehole, I can’t believe he told you that, I really can’t, he should be happy that you have big ambitions, he should be rooting for you, not drilling you six feet into your memory foam, you’re 18,. kids go through hundreds of phases, it’s a part of life ”, I said .

” Yeah, he wanted me to be a vicar, can you believe that, bloody hell, I don’t wanna be a vicar, I don’t wanna do sermons and wave a bouquet of flowers at a crowd of people in a church, I wanna be a singer, I wanna get on that stage, I wanna be on Top Of The Pops, I wanna be in the lights, everything’s waiting for me ”, Emmett said . ” But I’ve heard it’s very hard that the entertainment industry is very hard to get a foot hold in, they’re looking for people who have real talent, so if I can’t do that, then what else am I gonna do ?. ” What happens when you can’t do what you love anymore ?”, Emmett asked .

” I don’t know, get proper jobs, I suppose ”, I said .

” Hm, I think we all just disappear ”, Emmett said .

” Yeah, just carry on being yourself, there’s a lot more waiting for you, if you do good in the world, the good will come to you, you just gotta be patient, you’ll get to where you wanna be ”, I said. ” I see a lot of myself in you, I was young and hopeless, thinking that everything has to be based around one thing, but then, I realized that it gets better, and before you know it, you’ll be stronger then ever, so take a deep breath, look inside of you, and search for the good things, and once you have balance, everything will be better ”, I said .

” Yeah thanks, I’ll try and do that, you’re the best friend I’ve ever had, you are the only person who believes in me, some people don’t even think I exist, some people think I am a little ghost, and they think that I am dead, I am a menace to society, that’s who I am, they’re all scared of me, but they don’t realize that I am a human too ”, Emmett said .

” Well, I believe in you, and I know that you are strong and amazing, and even if you’ve done bad things, there’s always a story behind them, nobody kills and steals something for no reason, there must be something there, and it’s your parents, once your mum gave birth to you, they all thought that you wouldn’t make it, one day, on this Earth, but they are wrong, cause, look at you now, you’re here, you are alive and you are sitting down on a cliff hedge, talking to me and honestly, that’s a big improvement, honestly, do you have any idea how we ended up here ?”, I said, then Emmett started tearing up, the emotion got to him .

” Oh my god, are you crying ?”, I asked, as I looked at him and noticed a few tears rolling down his face.

” I’m not crying, really, there’s just something in my eye, a bit of dust, that’s all, I’m alright ”, Emmett replied. ” There’s all sorts of shit floating around here ”, he added .

” Hey hey, let me tell you something, Just because you shed a few tears, it doesn’t mean that you’re weak, you can cry yourself a river, it doesn’t mean that you are not the tough boy I’ve always known, you could be a man and still have feelings ”, I told him. ” Oh my god, Gordon Benett, look at us, just sitting here, rambling on like Stephen bloody Fry ”, I said, Emmett started laughing .

” Hahahaha, oh stop it ”, Emmett said. ” Well, some things just don’t change, don’t they ?”, Emmett asked .

” No, I guess not ”, I replied. Whilst we were having a chat, Travis and Johnny were having a chat whilst watching the stars, whilst lying on Emmett’s car .

” Hey Johnny, remember the first time we met Emmett, remember that ?”, Travis asked .

” Uh huh, I remember, we found him at the petrol station, that one in Haringay, and we found him rummaging through the casheir’s teal, they found him with 10 bob, spent it all on hasheesh and guns ”, Johnny replied .

” Yeah, that’s right, yeah, he was, he was a skin head, but he was more then that, he was cool, he was bold and I knew from then on, that there was a back story behind it, nobody acts like a total jack ass for nothing, right ?”, Travis asked .

” No, definetely not ”, Johnny replied .

” You know, when you see all these cool, young lads wandering around on streets like these, who do you they remind you of ?”, Travis asked .

” Emmett, the cool geezers remind me of Emmett, that’s exactly who they remind me of ”, Johnny replied .

” Hm, you know, he scares me sometimes, he gives me the fright ”, Travis said .

” Yeah, he doesn’t really scare me, to know where he comes from, and for me look back upon my life, I understand him, behind that driven, young criminal, there is a story and I just know that there was once a time where he wasn’t the bad boy we know today, he was just a normal, innocent young lad, but history repeats itself, so you just gotta keep your hands open wide and catch it like a butterfly, in the first wallow of spring, because it will fade some day ”, Johnny said .

” Yeah, that’s true, exactly true ”, Travis said .

When they had their honest chat, Travis had a vision, the memory of his parents car accident came back to haunt him, he was about 15 when they passed away, and he has had the visions ever since, it’s just constant, the feeling of knowing that something bad is gonna happen. Before the accident, his mother told him that her and her husband were going to go and run some errands, like pick up some essentials and go grocery shopping, so Travis waited at home, for his parents to return, but when hours went past, there was no sign of them, and then he looked out of the window and saw the car burst into the flames, they simmered in the distance, Travis knew from then on, that he was never gonna see his mum and dad again, he also had nightmares. He was the only child, so he was grieving by himself . When he got to the age of 19, he had to move on, but he never lost touch with their accident . Me and Emmett were still sitting by the cliff hedge and he was smoking his cigarettes, he called them, lung cancer sticks, soley because they cause lung cancer, or any other cancers .

” It’s getting late, I think we should get back in the car, I think we should start heading back, what do you say ?, wanna bust out the old stereo and play some tunes, what do you reckon ?”, I asked .

” Yeah, good idea, gor, it’s freezing, man, feels like an avalanche of wind ”, Emmett replied, and we got in the car and started heading back. It was really dark outside, very dismal, almost made it possible for someone to crash into something, like a lamp post, yeah that’s right, I’m looking at you, Emmett .

” Bloody hell, it’s so dark out here, can you see any cars in front of us ?”, Emmett asked .

” I can’t see shit ”, Travis replied .

” For god sake, see this is the thing that I hate, you get these stupid drivers on the roads, you know what I wanna know, I wanna know on how these idiots passed their driving tests, did they cheat or did they drug their driving instructor ?, I wanna know, cause then, I could get them sued, it’s like a cave of wonders, it’s silly, no one should be driving like this, no one, absolutely unacceptable, you know what I’m saying, put it this way, yeah ?, you’re on the motorway, you’re in a rush, you wanna get somewhere, you’re likee ” here we go, here we go, here we go, here we go ”, but you’re not bloody going anywhere, you know why, cause there’s this geezer who comes along, he’s in his pants, bloody stinker, stupid gits, ignorant beats ”, Emmett explained, then he hit the steering wheel . ” Hey hey, I’m driving here, I’m driving here, stupid idiots, where you going ?, bloody spaz ”, Emmett shouted .

” Wow, this is going well, everything’s gone into some sort of diversion and we’re talking about people drugging their driving instructor, how did it come to this ?”, I said, sarcastically .

” Well, unless we’re talking about the serpent here, then yes, he did drug his driving instructor ”, Dominick said .

” No no no no no, you’re getting all of this mixed up, he drugged his police officers and prison guards, he didn’t drug his driving instructor, they were probably no where to be seen whilst all that shit was going on, cause he went back and forth from Nepal and Kathmandu and all that shit, I don’t know, he probably steals cars and then he makes people pay extra ”, I said . ” But, we don’t know the other side of the story, not until they suddenly dig it out of the archives, something that has happened like five years ago, it happened five years, right ?, yeah ”, I added .

” Hold on, hang about, hang about, hang about, why are we even talking about Charles Sobraj, we’re literally driving on the motorway, going 50 miles per hour and we’re talking about people drugging their driving instructors, it’s perpostrous, I mean, do we even know where we’re going, stuck in some homocidal wasteland ”, Jamie said .

” Welcome to my world, Jamie, welcome to my world ”, Emmett said, and we pulled up and parked the car and sat in there for a while . A girl walked past, Emmett had his eyes on her, of course he did, bloody hawk eye .

” Hey guys, do you think that she fancied me a little bit ?”, Emmett asked .

” Yeah right, like she even laid eyes on you ”, Travis replied, as he was in denial .

” I think she did, you know, they always do this, they play hard to get, they want bullies and thugs, real women want bad boys and criminals and skin heads, they want geezers who have done time, they want bastards, they love it when they get treated like shit ”, Emmett said. Emmett was fiddling around with his gun that he put in the glove compartment, it wasn’t really loaded, but he just used it to scare people off. He was almost caught when a 7 year old girl approached his car and asked for change. Emmett had a trick up his sleeve. Whether it was gonna work, that’s a different story .

” Hey, don’t worry about it, it’s not loaded, I took the bullets out, this morning, see ?”, Emmett said . Emmett was hoping that the kid would leave and go somewhere else, but she didn’t, this time, she got closer to his car, even worse then before, if that’s possible, and even I was sitting there, thinking ” Oh my god, we’re stuck with this little girl now, what are we gonna bloody do ?”, plan A was to try and scare her away, plan B was not to fuck up plan A, and what did we go and do, we fucked up plan A, bloody typical .

” Oh for god sake, who’s this now ?, ok, I’ve got this, I’ve got this, watch and learn, my son, watch and learn ”, Emmett said, and with that, he opened the car window .

” Bloody hell, who is this girl ?”, I said .

”  Perhaps, she’s here for you ”, Kevin said .

” Shut up, Kevin, bloody hell ”, Dominick said .

” Oh I know who that is, it’s bullshit girl ”, Kevin said .

” What ?”, Dominick said, in a high pitched voice, as he turned around}

” Hey mr, do you have any change ?”, she asked .

” No, I don’t think I have any money on me, you know ?, I’m skint ”, Emmett said, as he rummaged through his coat pockets but found no change .

” Do you have a dime ?”, she asked .

” Jesus Christ, what is this bloody thing ?, what is this bloody thing ?”, Emmett shouted .

” Do you have a dime or ?”, she asked, once again, I could already tell that Emmett was losing his mind, he was already on his last straw .

” No, go away, get outta here, get out of it, bugger off ”, Emmett shouted, as he shooed the child away and he put his shades on. ” That was a close call, man ”, Emmett added, as he put the gun away .

” What was that all about ?”, I asked .

” No clue, what the hell is a dime ?”, Emmett asked .

” No idea, honestly, I’ve heard it’s like a duck ”, I said .

When Emmett started driving, he saw some girl walk past, Emmett is always up to his old tricks. The girl wore a white jumper with a skirt. She had blonde hair . Emmett got out of the car and walked up to her and started flirting with her .

” Oh look, some cute blonde, huh ?”, Emmett said, and he got out of the car .

” Emmett, where are you off to ?, oh not again, he’s up to his old tricks again, bless him ”, Travis said .

” Does he always do this ?”, I asked .

” Yeah, so you don’t know him properly, you haven’t knowm him long enough, let me tell you, he does this all the time, all the time, waits for a girl to walk by, then he just picks them off, just watch, in 2 seconds, he will lay his hands on her, 10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1 ”, Travis counted, and Emmett layed his hand on her, just what Travis was expecting to see . ” See ”, he added .

” Oh my god, you got that spot on, Gordan Bennett, that aged well ”, I said .

” Aged like fine wine, actually no, it aged like spoiled milk, it’s like Leche,innit ?, it’s like bloody leche ”, Travis said. Emmett was touching her, the girl seemed to like it, but she just played hard to get .

” Uh excuse me, are you a real blonde, huh, are you real ?, or are you some mannequin or something ?”, Emmett asked, as he leaned against her and as he was about to light a cigarette, he slid off the car and she started giggling, everybody else in the car starting laughing as well. They were having some sort of tension going on, like she enjoyed it, but then, suddenly, she switched up her attitude. Emmett didn’t give up, he carried on being silly .

” How can I find out if this is your real blonde hair, like if this is the same blonde hair that you have on you, like your eye brows too ”, Emmett said, as he touched her face .

” What do you think ?”, she asked .

” I don’t know, I can’t see any difference from the looks of things, wanna head over to my place, I don’t know about you, but three hours with some alone time, I’ll die a happy man ”, Emmett said, he started touching her in weird places and the girl was getting annoyed .

” You’re not gonna get anything ”, she said .

” Oh ok, you’re fiesty, aren’t ya, do you know who I am, do you know who I am ?, I’m Starsky ”, Emmett said .

” Hah hah, yeah right, you’re not Starsky ”, she said, with disbelief .

” Okay okay, you might not believe me, but I am. ” So er, what’s your cute arse doing out here ?, doing shit on the motorways or something ?”, Emmett asked .

” What’s it to you ?”, she said .

” Wow, ok, I asked you a simple question, I asked you what you were doing around here, I didn’t ask you to give me a hard time, you are very touchy, let me tell you something, the witch doesn’t come in a black cloak and a witch’s hat, she wears a white dress and drives a Lotus Turbo Asprit ”, Emmett said, as he put his feet up on the front part of the car, the girl wasn’t happy about that, she was fuming .

” Just get your feet off my car and shut your trap ”, she said. ” Yapa yapa yapa, whatever it is, it’s not sexy ”, she added .

” Who’s gonna make me, huh, who, your boyfriend, I highly doubt that he’s around, he has no clue about what’s going on here, it’s probably best if it stays that way, to be honest, looks like it’s just you and me, witch ”, Emmett said .

” Why don’t you just leave us alone, be nice and leave us alone ?”, the girl shouted .

” Be nice ?, what is this, the happy hands club ?, I can’t afford to be nice if I tried, this is total bullshit, man, you’re a bullshit man ”, Emmett said. ” The moral of the story is, I’m never nice ”, Emmett added. ” Can I offer you a ride home ?, just like I said, no pressure, but you know, I was thinking ”, he said, but the girl talked over him .

” Piss off ”, she shouted .

” Woah, sorry, heh, I didn’t know, I didn’t know that you had this problem of yelling in my face, you seem to have a big mouth, ok, but I missed the part where that’s my problem, cause it’s not, ok, I’m going, I’m going, I know when I’m not wanted ”, Emmett said, and he walked off. Travis wanted to go and apologize to the girl for all the things that Emmett did .

” Gordon Bennett, did he really just do that, I can’t believe what I’m seeing, honestly, yeah, no, uh uh ”, Travis said .

” Where you going, Travis ?”, Johnny asked .

” What does it look like I’m doing, I’m gonna go and apologize ”, Travis replied, as he got out of the car .

” For what, you didn’t do anything wrong, there’s no need to apologize, but you did nothing, what are you apologizing for ?”, Johnny asked .

” For that son of a bitch ”, Travis replied .

” Ok, see ya ”, Johnny said .

” I’ll be back in a sec, I’m gonna go and apologize, for this utter tragedy, see ya in a bit ”, Travis said, and he got out of the car and headed out .

” Ok bye, Travis, whatever you do, don’t get in a punch up ” Johnny said . Travis didn’t even hear Johnny and he walked up to the girl and he put his hands in his pockets and spoke to her. The girl looked the other way, she flipped her hair back and turned around .

” Are you gonna start it off now too ?”, she shouted .

” No ”, Travis replied .

” You don’t seem like the type anyway, what’s your name ?”, she asked .

” My name is Travis ”, he replied .

” Nice name, my name is Sandy, so, what are you doing around here ?”, she asked .

” Oh um, nothing really, that was my friend there, he just approached you and he started doing weird shit, felt uncomfortable, so I had to stop him ”, Travis replied .

” Cool, cool, so um, who is your friend, that handsome geezer who was here a short while ago, what’s he doing round here ?”, Sandy asked .

” Emmett’s my friend, I’m an Eagle too, we’re all friends ”, Travis replied, as he looked down .

” Oh sorry, I didn’t know, oh well, each to their own, you know ?”, Sandy said .

” Hey, have you met my other friend, he keeps asking about you, I think you should give him a little shout ”, Travis said .

” Who, which one, is it the one with the black hair and red leather jacket ”, she asked .

” Oh, are you talking about Dominick ?, I think that’s what you’re trying to say ”, Travis said .

” Oh yeah, Dominick, that’s his name, yeah, I’ve seen him around, you know where I see him, I see him at the petrol station, always makes sure that he says hello, nice lad ”, Sandy replied .

” Yeah, I’ll say hello from you, it was nice meeting you, it was a pleasure talking to ya ”, Travis said .

” Yeah, nice meeting you too, oh hey, do you want my number, maybe we could call each other, some time ”, Sandy said .

” Oh yeah thanks ”, Travis said. ” Oh and sorry about that, my friend can be a little silly sometimes ”, Travis said. ” He acts like he’s never seen a woman before, honestly, I apologize ”, he added .

” Yeah, it’s ok, don’t mention it, ughh, men ay ?, god bless them, what would we do without them, with their ways and their, their mysterious seasons, John Travolta, Paul Young, George Michael, Russel Mael, Nick Kershaw, Mr Rogers, all the different types of men, smashing, really smashing ”, Sandy said .

” Yeah, tell me about it, they can be wild sometimes, I’ve been there before, believe it or not, but it’s nice to have a bit of balance, you know ?, wild and crazy can be good sometimes, you know what I mean ?”, Travis said .

” Yeah, I know what you mean, bleeding heck, you’re so funny, I love you already, you know, some people say that love at first sight doesn’t exist, but haha, they’re wrong ”, Sandy said .

” Oh really ?, stop it ”, Travis said, as he was flattered. His cheeks were rosy, like bright red, but you could hardly notice it .

” Yeah, I mean it, usually, I get set up by my friends a lot and, I have dated many young geezers and they’ve never really worked out, it’s an absolute terror, like, what do you need to do to get on their wavelength, like honestly, I’ve never met any of these geezers in my life, I’ve only been with them for like one day, two days, that’s it ”, Sandy explained .

” Yeah, I know what you mean, dates can be embarrassing and terrifying, sometimes, but love is love, at the end of the day, it’s nothing different ”, Travis said. ” Oh hey, do you want me to give you my phone number and address, keeping in touch without those can be a hassle ”, Travis added. ” Here, look, that way, you can call me whenever you like, you’ll know where to find me ”, he said, as he handed her his number .

” Oh thank you so much, I’ll call you, some day, I’ll give you mine as well, here you go, here’s my number, oh well, I have to go now, my friend is just calling me, she wants me to get in the car, it was nice knowing you, look after yourself, bye ”, Sandy said, as she walked off . April was in the car, April was Sandy’s friend, they went out shopping together. The car wouldn’t start, they were out of petrol and gas, so as a random act of kindness, Travis offered his help to get them up and running .

” Oh for goodness sake, why does it have to happen when we are quite far from home, we should of done a re fill before we arrived ”, Sandy said. ” Can’t believe this bloody thing ”, she added .

” What is the problem ?”, Travis asked .

” The car won’t start, it seems like we have run out of gas, now, we’re stuck here, in this dump, what are we gonna do now ?”, Sandy said .

” Oh dear me, oh what a palava, ok, I’ll tell you what, you stand there, I’ll give it a little push ”, Travis said .

” Really ?, thank you so much, that would be, that would be amazing, you’re a life saver ”, Sandy said .

” No problem, now, I tell you what, you get in the car and I’ll nudge it from the back, just let me know if you’re getting anything ”, Travis said and he walked and stood behind the car, Sandy had her hands on the steering wheel and April kept the doors open .

” Ok, when I say go, you start driving, not too fast, not too slow, ok, ok, not yet, not yet, not yet, ok go ”, Travis told them .

” Okey dokey, here we go and we’re off, whoo ”, Sandy cheered and they drove off. Everybody in the car was cheering and were proud of Travis, he did some good in the world, some day, the good will come to him, he just has to be patient . Nature will take it’s course .

” Woooo, go on Travis ”, Johnny cheered.

” Go on, my son, that’s it ”, Jamie shouted .

” Man, that boy is amazing, he can get a whole car to start, those things are built different, it’s really tricky, especially the ones with the metal ”, Dominick said .

” My god, that was something else, I didn’t know that you can get a car to start back up, that was sick ”, Johnny said . ” When did you learn how to do that ?”, he asked .

” Don’t know, first time ”, Travis replied .

” Man’s like doctor Green thumb, except, he doesn’t work with plants ”, Kevin said .

” Looks like she fancied you, how did it go ?”, Jamie asked .

” Yeah, that went well, what did she say ?”, I asked .

” She’s really nice, she seemed quite chilled about the situation, she didn’t punch me or anything, so that’s good, and I got her number as well ”, Travis replied .

” Nice, nice one, Travis ”, I said. At this point, you would think that the girls got away and carried on with their day, but surprise surprise, they didn’t , the car broke down once again. This time, Travis just wasn’t bothered, Johnny nudged Travis .

” Hey Travis, is that her car, right there, I think it’s her, you know ?”, Johnny said .

” Oh shit, it is as well, but what’s her car doing here, I thought I helped them get the engine up and running, that’s odd ”, Travis said. ” You know what, I think they’ve broken down, to be honest with you ”, he added .

” What, again ?, are you taking the mick ?, you pushed the car and they drove off, it’s enough assistance that would last them a whole hour ”, Johnny said.

” Where’s Emmett, that son of a bitch has been gone for hours ”, Jamie asked .

” You know what he’s like, he’ll be back before you know it, trust me ”, Dominick replied . Then suddenly, Emmett came back, out of the blue and carried on having a dig at Sandy .

” Oh that’s him, that’s Emmett, god, what’s he doing ?”, Johnny said. Sandy and April were out shopping, they didn’t break down after all .

” See, you see that, they didn’t break down, they went shopping, they went shopping, you know ? ”, Dominick told Travis .

” You better leave her alone or I will call the police and get you arrested ”, April warned .

” You what ?, oh my god, I am so scared, what am I gonna do now, Liam, huh ?, this girl’s making me shake ”, Emmett shouted, as he stared at the car, waiting for someone to have their say. ” What are you gonna do, are you gonna call the feds on me ?, yeah yeah yeah sure, whatever you say, love ?”, he added with disbelief .

” Yes we will, if you don’t leave us alone ”, Sandy said .

” Ok, I see, you are a fiesty little bitch, ain’t ya, but I like that, I like that ”, Emmett said, as he walked closer to Sandy and put his hands on her .

” Owwww, get your greasy paws off of me ”, Sandy shouted .

” Leave her alone, Em ”, Johnny told him, but Emmett got angry and a bit aggressive .

” What did you say, you little shit ?, what did you say to me ?, wise ass ” Emmett shouted, Emmett didn’t stop, so Sandy got some water and chucked it at him . Emmett did not see that coming, and neither did we, to be honest. Totally unexpected, didn’t even see the bottle, we just saw Emmett’s hand, Emmett’s perverted hand .

” I can cool you off, Eagle, you learn to talk and act nicer, then I might cool off too ”, Sandy shouted, and Emmett was drying himself off, he was soaking wet .

” Hahaha, she totally got you, man, what is this, shower ?”, Kevin said, as he started laughing . He was the only one who was laughing, the rest of us were generally terrified. Emmett was fuming .

” Oh is it, you like that, huh ”, Emmett said. ” You little bitch ”, he snapped and Sandy slapped him in the face. Emmett started cackling and laughing. After the whole kerfuffle between Sandy and Emmett, they carried on driving, Emmett parked up and we had burgers and chips. Emmett was in a dilusion, he believed that Sandy liked him, everybody else was in disbelief .

” What’s that girl called again, that blonde girl, what’s her name ?, I think it was sandy something, what was it ?”, Emmett asked, man doesn’t even remember the girl’s name, typical, what kind of fuckery is this ?. Luckily, Travis remembered her name.

” Sandy Crawford ”, Travis replied .

” Yeah, that’s her name, Sandy, yeah, do you think that she fancied me a little bit ?, I don’t know, she seemed cute, hah hah, tried to give her a ride home, like a gentleman and then, her weird ass friend turned up with a bat, splashed water in my face, Jesus, women sometimes ”, Emmett said .

” Yeah right, you believe that every lady has the hots for you ”, Travis said, as he was in disbelief. When Emmett carried on driving, he spotted an old mate of his coming back from the petrol station, his tires were slashed and he needed to pump them back up .

” Oh shit, Harry Edwards, that’s my mate, that’s my mate, that is, Harry !!! ”, Emmett shouted, as he got out of the car to talk to him .

I’ve never met Harry before, Emmett kept mentioning his name, it’s in almost every conversation, it’s always Harry this and Harry that, never actually knew the geezer though, I can only picture him as a demented, highly strung skin head, or like a football hooligan, don’t know why though, it just comes to mind . He keeps telling me ” Oh man, you need to meet him, Liam, he knows proper banter, he can do break dancing and he can balance his hand on a concrete balcony railing ”, and I’m like ” nah man, he’s demented ”, I only speak to someone if they’re worth getting involved with. I don’t want some random geezer knocking on my door every day and use me a door mat, not happening . Maybe I’m reading into things a little too much, I’m sure that Harry is a lovely chap, but I’m not trusting Emmett with his non fascinating views. If I meet him and he appears to be a really cool and friendly geezer, then cool, but I’ll believe it when I see it, but anyway, back to the story, Emmett went to go and speak to his mate, he stood there, with his hands in his pockets, looking stiff .

” Oh for goodness sake, Emmett, where’s he off to ?”, Jamie asked .

” I don’t know, he said that that is his mate, that’s all he said ”, I replied .

Emmett and Harry used to go to school together. Emmett always used to mix with the demented kids, they always used to get in punch ups and in a lot of trouble, always in deep shit and it’s hard to figure out whether it was Emmett’s idea for all that stuff, depends on who we’re talking about here, one is more mad then the rest of them .

” Hello Governer, whatcha doing round here, boy ?, you alright ?, yeah ?, how’s things ?”, Emmett asked .

” Hey Emmett, what are you doing around here, ay ?, you lunatic ?”, Harry asked .

” Oh, you know, a few things, here and there ”, he replied . What are you doing round here ?”, Emmett asked .

” Nothing much, just had to get air in the petrol station, my tires have gone flat, what are the chances of that happening on the motorway, ay ?, typical ”, Harry replied .

” ughh, 100 to 1, see, that’s the problem with those things, you never know when you’re gonna run out, you can go from 100 % to 2 % in a space of about 20 minutes. ” Oh yeah, I totally forgot to ask you, um, did you see that ludicrous display, last night ?”, Emmett asked .

” Yeah, what was Wenger thinking sending Walcott on that early ?”, Harry said .

” You see, the thing about Arsenal is that they always try and walk it in, Typical Arsenal, ay, the walkers ”, Emmett said .

” Damn right, did you win anything from the match, win 100 bob or a tenner ?”, Harry asked .

” No, I didn’t win anything, placed five bets on Arsenal, my mate placed a bet on Liverpool, I lost about 200 quid, my mate won about 30 quid, now I’m skint ”, Emmett replied .

” Yeah, oh Gordon Bennett, I put a pony on Liverpool, I knew that I’d never see that again, what is it about betting, these days, costs an arm and a leg, rip off, haha, anyway, I better head off, take care of yourself, yeah, nice talking to ya ”, Harry said .

” Yeah, good to see ya, man, take it easy, yeah ?”, Emmett said, and Harry walked back to his car and drove off and then, Emmett got back in the car .

” Who was that, Emmett ?”, I asked . Even though I already knew, but I couldn’t be so sure, couldn’t I ?. It could be some random geezer who is posing to be Emmett’s old friend and instead, he’s a gangster or something, you know, that would be terrible .

” Oh, no, that was Harry, man’s put a pony on Liverpool, he’s only gone and put a pony on Liverpool, nuts, man, nuts ”, Emmett replied, as he stood by the car door, then he got in the car and carried on driving .

” Hey guys, you know what, I got Sandy’s number, check it out, yeahhhhh ”, Travis said, as he hovered it over everyone .

” Nice, nice one, Travis, see, I told you, when someone steps out of your life, someone new comes into your life, life’s not based around one person ”, Emmett said .

” Yeah, I know, it’s wicked though, she was stunning, was she ?, totally took me under her wing ”, Travis said .

” Yeah, she is ”, Johnny said . ” You know, I’ve been thinking of handing myself in ”, he added .

” Why, hand yourself in for what ?”, Emmett asked.

” You know, that thing that happened a week ago, when I killed that Reject, maybe I should hand myself in ” Johnny replied . ” When I do that, I’ll be let off easy, you guys were saying that it was defense. ” Gloria and Travis could justify to that and if you won’t say that you helped us and we’ll give you back the gun, so you won’t get in any trouble, Em ”, Johnny added . Emmett wasn’t agreeing to any of it, didn’t like the idea of Johnny handing myself in .

” No, are you sure, is that you wanna do ?”, Emmett asked .

” Yeah of course, I’m sure, it ain’t fair for Jamie and Dominick worrying about Travis all the ruddy time ”, Johnny replied . ” Any of the folks don’t worry about me or anything ”, he added. ” None of you are worried sick about me or anything, you couldn’t care less ”, he said .

” Bullshit, me and the boys are worried, if you end up disappearing into thin air and you disappear off the face of the earth without trace, it’s our responsibility, your parents are no where to be seen, they don’t care if you go missing. ” You know that Kevin wanted to go down Northampton to hunt for you, I talked him out of it in the end, cause it’s silly ”, Emmett shouted . ” When you were scared and you were scared to walk the streets by yourself late at night, we were there, when you ended up getting jumped by those geezers, we were there, when you had no where to stay, we were there, so what are you talking about ?”, Emmett said .

” Yeah well, I asked if the parents asked about me ”, Johnny said . ” So, did they ?”, Johnny asked .

” No, they didn’t ask about you, so what, you think my old man would give a shit if I er, end up dead in a car wreak or three sheets to the wind, found half dead in a dust bin or behind bars in a prison or something, he doesn’t care, but that doesn’t bother me, nun, I just move on with life, whatever that’s supposed to mean ”, Emmett shouted . Everybody was just awkward in the back . After he managed to calm down, he told Johnny to forget about the whole thing and to forth it, took him long enough . Something he should have done, but instead, he took all the rage out on Johnny. The man’s got a stiff upper hand.

” Come on, you guys are not going anywhere, you’re staying here . ” Get you hide in, get you a hide out, man, bloody hell, you guys are like cadillacs, you want to go somewhere but you don’t know where and why, I can’t handle you little shits, you know ?. ” You did it for self defense, Gloria said that those geezers were drunk, that caused them to go mad, that’s cool, I guess, they have nothing against it ”, Emmett added .

Then we carried heading back. Emmett was still unsure and protective over Johnny’s idea, he didn’t want him to go to prison, which is understandable, when youngsters go to prison and they do time, it’s something that they can’t overcome. So I understand Emmett’s instant rage. I just wish that he took a different approach .

” Johnny, you don’t know what a few months in prison can do to you, man, I just don’t wanna see it happen to you, like it could happen to me, man, you understand ?, you have to be clean, stay out of that place, while you can ”, Emmett said. Suddenly, it got dark outside, pitch black, we heard voices of young gang members, the voices got louder as he got closer. Just between you and whoever is reading this, I wouldn’t wanna get in a ruckus with those geezers .

” Oh shit, what’s that noise ?”, Johnny asked, as he looked around him, as he swerved from side to side .

” I don’t know, man, sounds like it’s coming from down there ”, Travis said .

” Oh boy, oh boy, oh boy, this isn’t good ”, Dominick said. The voices got more loud each time, until it got to a point where we had to get out and have a look . Because what the hell, like what else are you supposed to do in a situation like that .

” What the fuck is this shit, bloody hellhole, I’m gonna beat the shit out of who ever’s doing this, not you in all ”, Emmett shouted .

” Stupid kids, this isn’t funny anymore, it was amusing at first, but as it goes on, it’s getting annoying now, why don’t you go home and play with your He Man doll or play football or something ”, Jamie shouted. We took five steps forward and we saw the most menacing thing, the Rejects were sitting on the roof, of one of the nearby houses and they were holding glass bottles in their hands, clinking them against each other .

” Eagles, come out to play ay, Eagles , come out to play, ay, Eagles, come out to play, ay ?”, Samuel said, and every time he said it, his voice got louder and louder and louder .

” Oh for crying out loud, these ponsies, you think that you’re gonna fool us with that old trick, ain’t gonna happen ”, Jamie shouted .

” You think that you can scare us, you porto Fugos, you fucking West Ham, get a load of this ”, Emmett shouted, then he went for a little while and then, he came back, he suddenly turned up with his gun and he had his shades on. He didn’t have his pistol, oh no no no, he had a BB gun, like a machine gun, the ones you use for Clay Pigeon shooting, fuck knows why he’s carrying that with him .

” Iiiiiitt’s Emmett Yohanson, Motherfuckers, fuck off, fuck off, fuck off, fuck off, fuck off, get outta here, piss off ”, Emmett shouted and he chased all the Rejects away, including Samuel, they all ran off .

” Ohhh, oh shit, oh god, let’s go, you have it fair and square, let’s go fellas ”, Samuel shouted. Travis was speechless .

” Yo, what, what happened there, why ?”, Travis said. He was so confused that he couldn’t get his words out, he could barely finish the sentence .

” Looks like the boy is back in town ”, Emmett said. We got in the car and started driving. Everybody was shocked about Emmett’s bad entry, it just shows you when it comes to Emmett, nobody messes around .

” Wow, I have no words, how did you do that ?”, Johnny asked .

” I don’t even know, if you get tough, nobody can mess with you ”, Emmett said .

” That’s wicked, man ”, Johnny said . Kevin, on the other hand, was mostly fascinated about how the Rejects got up on the roof .

” What I wanna know, is how they got up on that roof, did they fly up there, I bet they are draculas, that’s pretty sick stuff right there, man ”, Kevin said .

” Yeah, they’re like mini Yorgas, you know, like Count Yorga, if you had like hundreds of them, they would cause chaos, they are yorgas ” Travis said .

” Out of all the things that you could talk about, and you chose that, seriously ?”, Dominick said .

” What, it’s more interesting then talking about when you turned into the terminator and you almost blew their brains out with your BB gun and looking absolutely demented, anyway, that shit is so last year ”, Kevin said .

” That only happened like two minutes ago, what do you mean, last year ?”, Johnny said .

” Yes, that’s what I mean, one year feels like two minutes ”, Kevin said .

” Nah man, you’re dicked in the knob ”, Johnny said .

” And that’s why you need a left hand man like Emmett, you get away with shit like that ”, Jamie said and we all started laughing .

When we returned home, Jamie was doing some of his break dancing demos, Kevin was in the kitchen, Emmett was singing and dancing very vigouressly in his room, to the song, Mickey Mouse by Sparks, Travis was just combing his hair. I was quite tired, so I went upstairs to take a nap, I was out of it . Emmett was blasting the song in his room. He was dancing, singing and jumping everywhere .

” Let’s have a party and be happy, can we invite my closest friends and we can ask Donald Duck, Pluto and all the gang, da na, and my name is Mickey Mouse, to my right is Minnie Mouse and we own a little place in Disney Land California, na na, yeah ”, Emmett sang . It started off quite well, then eventually, it just went into god knows what . The lyrics weren’t exactly accurate, but if Emmett is having fun, then I have no part in it, I don’t wanna be a killjoy . Emmett was dancing and singing as if he was in Footloose, sort of like a young Kevin Bacon, except he wasn’t leaping 10 feet up into the air, otherwise, he would of damaged my house. You can never be too sure with Emmett, he’s bound to break shit .

” So if you feel the need, come back, I’m here, for, you, and you, and my name is Mickey Mouse, to my right is Minnie Mouse, don’t get ”, he sang, but then he switched to a completely different song, he started singing Jet, or whatever it’s called .

” Jet, da na na na, da na, Jet, uh huh, Jet, da na na na, okay, oh fuck, I mean, fuck it, oh bloody hell, how did it go again, da na na, Jet, the way of the Jet, baby ”, Emmett sang, as he stopped to remember the lyrics to Jet, which I doubt is a real song and even if it is, it’s probably made by Hazel Atkins, or like, cult favourite, rockabilly hero, alcholic pest. It goes like ” You love me, baby, I love you, baby, shake that thing, da na, throw your partner out the door ”, yeah nah, don’t want that song, don’t want it, don’t want it .

Emmett continued to dance like an absolute lunatic . I found it hard to sleep whilst that was going on, but I fighted it and I pretended that I couldn’t hear a thing. Emmett started singing more songs that were made by Sparks . Travis and Emmett are mad about Sparks, they were rather strange, they just went and done their own thing, at the end of the day. Ever since they did their debut in 74 on Top Of The Pops, we were like ” Oh bloody hell, who are those geezers, man, why’s Hitler playing the keyboard ?, they’re like the Hindooja brothers ”, we were beyond confused. We’ve never seen these geezers in our lives, bloody weird, but that’s what we thought. Emmett’s favourite song is Number One Song In Heaven, it’s either that or Mickey Mouse, what you just heard him sing a few minutes ago. I don’t really listen to their music that much, but I’m just starting to find out about them, I think they’re bloody brilliant, if I’m honest, they really know their stuff. It’s absolute magic that comes out of those speakers, pure magic . Johnny is starting to get into them, he’s not so keen on that kind of music, but he’s not afraid of giving it a listen . He listens to a lot of 80s rock, like Reo Speedwagon and Matallica, a lot of pop, like Erasure, Wham, Fun Boy Three, Spandau Ballet, those sorts of bands, he’s got really good taste .

Emmett strived to be a rock star, but he was afraid that he might turn out like Screaming Lord Sutch or something like that, like wear a cloak and stand in an alleyway, waiting for someone to walk past and get scared or something. He strives to be a singer, which is quite rich, coming from Emmett, to be honest, usually, he’s the one who’s telling me that being a musician is a load of bullshit, he’s like ” Why do you wanna be a musician for ?”, like he’ll take the piss out of people who want to be in the entertainments business, but this time, he actually wants to be one . He dreams of being a star, he pictures himself on a massive stage, on a music programme like Top Of The Pops. He has dreams and big ambitions, but he lived in a troubled world and everyone around him just took the piss. What happens when we can’t do what we love anymore, I reckon that we just all disappear . I say good luck to the geezer, I reckon he can do it, he’s gonna smash it. All he needs is confidence, when you have confidence, you feel like you are on top of the world, you can accomplish anything. Emmett was the golden boy, he has a future ahead of him, he just needs to look forward, there’s no time like the present, if he wants to do something, he better get up and do it . Emmett’s gonna be bigger than Billy Idol, he’s gonna be a star .

As Emmett carried on dancing and singing, I was still taking a nap. There was a lot of noise, I heard footsteps coming from downstairs, but I didn’t care, I carried on sleeping. A few minutes later, I woke up, feeling refreshed, then I see Emmett standing in front of me, holding his pistol in his hand, pointing it against my head, I was like ” What the hell ?”, that’s not something you see every day, well, if you don’t live with Emmett, that is, here, in this house, we see it every single day.

” Surprise Motherfucker ”, Emmett shouted. I sat there, looking at him in confusion, he is a total maniac, and the fact that he came all the way upstairs to my room, made it even worse, but Emmett was clearly out of his mind, he was loving it, properly watching me shitting bricks .

” Woah there, oh my god, what are you doing, man ?”, I asked, opening my eyes a slight inch, only to see Emmett standing in front of me, with a sinister grin. If you’ve ever seen Emmett’s sinister grin, I’m telling you, you’d run a mile . He looked like he wanted to do me in, without any reason.

” Nothing, how did you sense that I was here ?, do you have the five senses or something ?”, Emmett asked .

” I heard you walking upstairs and I found you with a pistol ”, I replied .

” Wow, that’s really something, isn’t it ?, bloody hell ”, Emmett said. ” Oh yeah, you know what ?, we need to go to the shops, we need to pick up a few bits and pieces, are you coming ?”, Emmett asked .

” Yeah ok, I’ll come, just give us a few minutes, will ya ?, I’ll be downstairs in a little while ”, I replied .

” Alright then, see ya in a bit ”, Emmett said, and he left.

Jamie and Travis were talking to each other, they were talking about Jamie’s break dancing demos. Jamie has completely lost the plot, he does a demo, pretty much every single day, he just jumps up and down, spins around on his hands, whilst he keeps one leg up in the air, I’ve never watched them before, but I can tell that they are gonna be awful and cringeworthy . Jamie thinks he’s the creator of Malcom Meclaren’s Buffalo Gals, but really, he isn’t, instead, he’s that geezer, you know that one geezer who is secretly dancing in the backround, with a white shirt on, that one geezer who just doesn’t know why he’s there, and that dance he does, that’s the dance you do when you’re at a club or a disco and no fucker wants to dance with you, that’s exactly what it reminds me of. If you’ve ever seen Jamie dance, you’d know exactly what I’m talking about. He looks like a man who thinks about his private life, whilst he’s taking a shit in on a Khazie. He’s a proper nostra fucking darmas. I have nothing against the man, he’s alright, if I’m honest with you, we get along really well. It’s not that, it’s just, he really needs to stop making those demos, cause god knows how many he’s made, and then, at the end of the day, he makes us watch them, and they’re like 5 hours, each one is about five hours and 35 minutes and it’s just him spinning around whilst he’s in a bridge position, honestly, it looks like something straight out of a horror film. They also don’t have music or anything, the man can’t play any instruments or anything, so he just hums his fucking tapes . He doesn’t always spin around on his head, sometimes, he spends half of the tape recording, talking about these intrumental songs, then he talks about Buddy Holly for like five minutes, then he spews out a lot of bullshit about fishermen and what people do in the West, then he talks about what it would be like if he was the first man to ever invent the satelite, then he talks about Telstar for like 10 minutes, then he just plays the flute, just to pass the time, man can’t play the flute, but he tries, then he’s seen bouncing off the walls, I honestly don’t even know what he’s bloody trying to do, I would walk in, sometimes and I would see him doing some weird shit, I don’t know what to make out of it, it’s driving me round the bend . If Jamie enjoys doing them, then Woopi Ki Yay, good for him, but it’s a no from me, I’m afraid .

” Hey Jamie, why do you waste your time, making demos all the time, what do you get out of it ?”, Travis asked .

” I’m not wasting my time, Travis, it’s actually really good, it gets the blood pumping, the more excercise, the better, don’t wanna get a blood clot in your leg, do we now ?, I’ve heard that blood clots are common for over fifties, even though I’m not fifty, but still, you know ”, Jamie replied .

” Yeah right, you just jump up and down, going ape shit, what is that, exactly ?”, Travis said .

” Epicness, that’s what it is, and I’m loving it ”, Jamie said .

” Yeah yeah, stop that, you’re gonna make me sick ”, Travis said . ” you’re not gonna bloody do this, how is that gonna contribute to society ?”, Travis added, as he mocked Jamie doing the dance .

” Yeah, that’s not how you do it, you gotta have a spring in your step, more grime, like you gotta do the criss cross ”, Jamie said.

” This is exactly what you do, and there’s no music, as well, how do you do it ?”, Travis said . ” What’s a tape without music ?”, Travis asked . ” It’s not exactly a tape, isn’t it, if it was a tape, it would have been called a tape, but now, it’s just called muck duck and fuck dut ”, Travis said .

” Yeah well, the man can’t play any intruments, so he just hums his fucking tapes ”, Kevin said .

” Balderdash, I can play intruments, I can play the flute , if that’s what you mean”, Jamie said .

” Yeah, not so good though, it sounds like you’re dying ”, Travis said .

” Look guys, just stop going on about this tape, go up to your room, find something else to do with your time ”, Jamie said . ” Otherwise, I’ll make you watch my tape ”, he added .

” Oh fuck no, uh uh, no way, man, I’m not watching no tape, get it away from me, come on, Kevin, let’s watch Top Of The Pops on the tube ”, Travis said . ” I’ve heard that Tears For Fears are gonna be on today, they’ve come out with that song innit, mad world ”, Travis said .

” Ah wicked, man, I remember those geezers ”, Kevin said . And they just left the kitchen .

A few minutes later, we hit the road for essentials, such as food and other stuff. Emmett entered a corner shop and he was planning to nick something, like always does, every time . He’s always up to mischeif, he doesn’t really care if somebody catches him, he just runs out of the shop like a headless chicken, he does his business in one area, then he goes to another area for more. The person behind the counter wasn’t really aware of anything, she was in her own world. Emmett was going to nick a chocolate bar from the table in front of him, he picked it up and held it in his hand, he wasn’t gonna pay for it, bold move coming from Emmett, totally a bold move . The assistant behind the counter was expecting for him to take out a few coins to pay for the chocolate bar, but Emmett didn’t . The assistant was a little bit ignorant, she didn’t really have any manners either. I don’t really get how she was hired in the first place, she could get her arse out of there, I couldn’t care less. Bye Bye .

The person who worked in the shop looked demented, she had really big eye brows and wore a lot of makeup, like eye shadow and lip stick . She looked like a witch, her personality wasn’t any different from a witch .

” You’re gonna pay for that, aren’t you ?”, she asked .

” Er what ?”, Emmett said .

” You need to pay for that, it’s the law ”, she said .

” Yeah well then, fuck the law, man, I couldn’t give a shit ”, Emmett said, as he snuck up his middle finger .

” Excuse me, one last warning, you listen to the rules, you do exactly what they say, and you pay for it or you get kicked out of the shop, what will it be ?, the law or get your ass kicked right out that door ”, she asked .

” Kiss my arse, you’re not gonna get my two quid ”, Emmett said . Then suddenly, the assistant called the shop owner to come and deal with him .

” Mr Johnson, come and deal with this geezer, he’s refusing to pay ”, she shouted, the shop owner came in, he came out with a baseball bat. Emmett wasn’t afraid, the baseball bat wasn’t gonna take him down. Plus, he’s been through much worse, he’s been thrashed and threatened with all sorts of shit .

” Oh look, it’s father bloody Christmas, oh shit, he’s got a bat, bloody hell ”, Emmett said .

” Now, you listen here, sunshine, you disrespect my property, I disrespect you ”, Mr Johnson said, as he got his hand on Emmett’s jacket . ” Are you gonna pay for that or what ?”, he asked .

” For what ?”, Emmett shouted, and he threw the chocolate bar at the shop owner and the assistant and he ran out of the shop. ” Yeahhhh, that man stinks, he stinks, he smells, change your trousers, man, you stink, hahaha ”, Emmett shouted .

” Fucking delinquents ”, The shop owner mumbled .

” Mr Johnson, how many times do I have to bloody tell you,  you must take pride in the customer, the customer is always right, at the end of the day ”, Some bloke said .

” What, but the customer is not right, he’s talking bloody bollocks ”, the shop owner said .

” Nah, he’s alright ”, some bloke said .

” Jesus Christ, I don’t know how you do it, honestly ”, the assistant said .  After all that, Emmett got in the car with the gang, he managed to get away from the owners in the shop. They all started driving back home .

” Bloody hell, did you see those idiots in that shop, that geezer with the bat, man, that man’s so dense, light has to be bend around him ”, Emmett said. ” The bird said ” You’re gonna pay for that, aren’t you ?”, then I said ” What what ” , and then she said ” It’s the law ”, and I didn’t bother giving her any money, so guess what she did, she bloody called the shop owner, man came out with a bat, that didn’t phase me, one bit, so I said to him, I said ” Listen, man, you wanna fuck around, come and see me when I have a pair of tweezers, you fucking no good pum ”, he said .

” Honestly, today has just been great, you had a run in with the people in the shop, man chased you out with a ten inch baseball, all hell broke loose, the owner thought that you were a rough neck sort of geezer, he’s most likely to call the police on you, what more could we want on a day like this ?”, Kevin said .

” Yeah, they can chase me with a baseball bat, how many times they like, doesn’t bother me ”, Emmett said .

Then suddenly, the shop owner appeared, he was still around, he wasn’t fully gone just yet, everybody started panicking. This geezer came out running so fast. If I tell you how fast he was going, you wouldn’t believe me. He came out running like the road runner, it looked like the man was trying to run away from his problems, at ultra speed, but we all know that you can’t run away from your problems, neither can he, especially if you have just chased an 18 year old out of a shop with a baseball bat . When he came running out, I thought that there was a police chase. I’m not surprised if I’m honest, all sorts of shit happens around here. Of course there a chase, but not like that, it was slightly different . It’s like Duck Duck Goose, but with someone getting thrashed in the end. The geezer was running at maximum speed, even there was a point where his legs just left his body and started running by themselves. His trousers were falling off as well, it was utter chaos, the whole time, I was thinking ” What the heck is going on this day ?”. I wasn’t the only one who was confused about the whole thing. Johnny was confused and he was like ” Who is this geezer ?”, and he was like ” Liam, is that my cousin ?”, and I was like, trying so hard not to answer that question, cause I just didn’t know what would come out of my mouth at the time, I’d end up disturbing him, saying that he’s gonna turn up in his room and watch him sleep, that would of scarred him for life, he wouldn’t wanna sleep ever again, so I’m glad that I didn’t say anything .

” Oh for crying out loud, not him again, I thought we got rid of him ”, I said .

” Well unfortunatly, some people just can’t get enough, they come scurrying back for more ”, Emmett said .

” Look, just carry on driving, we’ll lose him ”, Johnny said, and Emmett drove through this alleyway, where we were safe and sound, the shop owner was nowhere to be seen, thankfully, everybody was relieved .

” I think we lost him ”, Emmett said, as he was out of breath .

” Oh thank god for that, Jesus Christ, how can people do that, he made me shake on the inside ”, Travis said .

” Yeah, I think he’s gone, we’re ok ”, Emmett said. Then suddenly, the car almost crashed into a wall, everybody was freaking out, the shop owner was back and this time, he had a hockey stick in his hand, he waved it in the air . I have no idea where he found the hockey stick, the man’s an absolute nut case .

” Get out the way, you bloody pov ”, the man shouted, as he held the hockey stick with two hands .

” Ahhhhh fuck ”, Emmett shouted. ” What the bloody hell ?”, he shouted .

” What the hell happened there, oh shit, he’s there again, he came back from the dead and he’s got a bloody hockey stick ”, Dominick shouted .

” Who wants to bet that he doesn’t play hockey ?”, Johnny asked .

” Me, a geezer like him doesn’t play hockey, are you mad ?”, Kevin said .

” Oh crap, this is a nightmare ”, Travis said .

” Don’t worry, chill, I’ve got this ”, Emmett said .

” Oh for goodness sake, you’re not gonna do that thing, are you ?, that thing where you turn into the terminator and you act like a total git ?”, Dominick asked .

” You know what, Dominick, yes I am, I am gonna do that, cause it’s the only way to go, you want this looney chasing us, every minute, you’re gonna need to bend the rules slightly ”, Emmett replied, and he got out of the car and put his shades on and held his gun in the air, hoping to scare him away with his act .

The shop owner stared at us with such anger and hatred. You can tell that he was demented, by how he looked. The man has the ability to make notorious serial killers like Dennis Neilson and Jack The Ripper look harmeless. It just goes to show how a very safisticated, thick skinned geezer like him, can be demented and unhinged too . It doesn’t do him any justice for talking to all the old ladies about flowers and The Beatles, now I know what’s really like. Bloody Sherry glasses .

” Do you have anything to say for himself, young man ?”, Mr Johnson asked. Mr Johnson ?, more like Mr unhinged nutcase, his crude personality doesn’t suit his name, sounds like a bloody kids daytime television presenter . Like the bloody music man. It’s like ” I’m the music man, get off the table, kid, if you wanna live to see tomorrow ”, what a recloose . Emmett stood there, we all wanted to see what he would do and say. Either act like the terminator and bollock him or deal with it like a man .

” Drop dead, you pisser ”, Emmett said. Is that really all that he came up with ?, ” Drop dead, you pisser ”, I can’t believe that shit. You can’t just say that, you need to have the introduction, the beginning, the middle and the ending. I thought that he would go out with a bang, after all, he threatened to thrash Emmett with a baseball bat, why wouldn’t he cause more damage ?, god only knows .

” Well, I never ”, Mr Johnson said, as he gasped .

” Emmett, what are you bloody doing ?, why did you do that ?”, I asked .

” What do you mean, I’m telling him straight, this geezer bollocked me and I’m gonna bollock him back ”, Emmett replied .

” I know, but this isn’t the way to go, you can’t wish someone dead, that’s dreadful ”, I said .

” Shhhhh, hush, hush, Liam, shh ”, Emmett said, and he put his finger on my lips and silenced me .

” Look, I’m really sorry, sir, what my friend did was bang out of order, he won’t do it again, I swear, especially after this ”, I said .

” Oh, that’s alright ”, he said .

” Right so, you’re okay with this ?, that’s cool, I guess, I thought you’d say otherwise ”, I said .

” Yeah nah, it’s alright, you can’t stay mad forever, you have to move on, eventually, onwards and upwards ”, Mr Johnson said .

” Oh, that’s brilliant, that is, wicked ”, I said .

” You alright, Mr Johnson, how’s it going, how’s work, you know, with the shop and that ?”, Johnny asked .

” Yeah nah, it’s going good, just had my shift, I’m absolutely knackered ”, Mr Johnson replied .

” Ah, tell er in doors I said hi ”, Johnny said .

” Will do, will do ”, Mr Johnson said .

” Ha well, this is nice, little chin wag, haven’t seen you in a while, you alright, John, how’s it going, long time, no see ?, what have you been up to ?”, I asked .

” Oh well, I have been busy with the shop and stuff, just taking care of a few bits and pieces, you know ?”, Mr Johnson said .

” Of course, of course ”, I said .

” Um excuse me, sir, can I just ask you something before I go ?”, Mr Johnson asked .

” You’re not getting my two quid, you pisser ”, Emmett said, and he pointed his gun at him .

” You know what, I’m not even gonna try it, you keep the change, kid ”, Mr Johnson said, and he ran off in plain sight. After he said bye, that is, he would never just run off, the man’s not built like that .

” Sucker ”, Emmett said .

” Woah, that was wicked, but terrible, how do you do that ?”, Johnny asked .

” Beginners luck ”, Emmett replied .

” That’s sick, man, sick ” Johnny said . Then, he got in the car, there was no sign of the shop owner anywhere, looks like he disappeared without trace. Emmett showed him who’s boss and they’ll never mess with him again . When he got in the car, everybody was laughing about Emmett’s defense against the shop owner, they all knew that he was unhinged, but he was cool at the same time, he knew how to get around .

” Emmett, that happened two times in a row, what happened ?”, Jamie asked .

” Hey Jamie, let me let you in on a little secret, ok, real men don’t wanna mess with me, they see me rocking and rolling around Stamford Hill, they don’t know who they are seeing, they may pretend to be tough, but when someone puts up a fight, they are the first ones to run away, so it just goes to show how you have to actually be tough, otherwise, it’s all show show. ” I mean, even when someone moves their fists, they flinch, without even doing anything, what a bunch of shitters. ” I’ve dealt with loads of them in my day, let me tell you, you have geezers who don’t even know how to throw a punch, their arms are floppy ”, Emmett said .

” Uh huh ”, Jamie said .

” It takes a lot to be a tough guy, you know, from different walks of life, they say the city’s tough, but I’m tougher ”, Emmett said .

After a long drive, we returned back home. We had a crazy day, let me tell you that. We found ourselves in trouble with the shop owner, he was a bit of a git at first, but after a little opening up and a chat, I’ve come to the conclusion and he’s not as bad as I thought . After with what happened to Emmett, I’m sure he didn’t mind it, the man is under a lot of pressure, I mean, he owns in a shop, for goodness sake, giving the customers what they want, it’s hard graph. I can never imagine myself working in a shop, ever, I’m not cut out for it. I’ve already been to university, that’s enough as it is . Johnny and Travis were mucking about with this microphone that I had, lying around in the sitting room, it sort of managed to peak both of their interests .

” Hey Johnny, come and check this out, it’s sick ”, Travis shouted, then Johnny came running in .

” What is it, Travis ?”, Johnny asked . ” Oh what is that ?”, He asked .

” What does it look like, it’s a microphone, pretty cool, ay ?”, Travis replied .

” Yeah, I like the look of that, where did you find it then, that microphone ?”, Johnny asked .

” It’s Liam’s, I found it on the tea table in the corner of the sitting room, looks quite new, I doubt it’s been used, well, do you wanna try it out ?”, Travis asked .

” Well yeah, I’m sure he won’t mind, well go on then, test it out ”, Johnny said .

” With no wire ?”, Travis asked .

” Well yeah, what do you mean, no wire ?, of course you need a bloody wire, otherwise it’s not gonna work, isn’t it ?”, Johnny asked .

” I know, that’s kinda the point, there’s no wires or a power supply, how are we gonna get this thing to work ?”, Travis said .

” Just use your voice, that’s the only thing you can do, if there’s no music, you make your own music ”, Johnny replied .

” And how do I do that, exactly ?”, Travis asked .

” Sing !!! ”, Johnny replied .

” Okay well, I’m not that good of a singer, I don’t think I’m ready for this ”, Travis said .

” Bullshit, you were born ready, just sing something into that microphone, it won’t bite ”, Johnny said .

” Ok um, here I go, come right back, I just can’t bare it, I got some love and I long to share it, come right back, I’ll show you my love is strong, oh yeah, have I the right to kiss you, you know I’ll always miss you, I’ve loved you from the very start, ughhh, come right back, I just can’t bare it, I got some love and I long to share it, come right back, back where you belong, oh yeah, you belong, oh yeah, you belong ”, Travis sang, everyone started stomping their feet, even though they weren’t in the room . Whilst Travis was singing, Johnny was hearing all the stomping and he was thinking ” What the bloody hell is happening ?”. It was like an orchestra, or like a medley .

{ Travis’s read}

As I started singing, I heard stomping. I had no idea where it was coming from, but when you’re in the moment and you’re enjoying yourself, you don’t have time to get up and try and figure out where the noise is coming from . My guess, it could of been the boys, cause who else would it be, there’s no ghosts or anything, so . I imagined myself, singing on a stage in front of tons and tons of people, it could never happen, because I have stage fright, but I imagined myself on a stage . I felt absolutely amazing. All around me was an orchestra. I didn’t find the music, oh no, the music found me . Johnny was right, if there’s no music, you make your own, the music will come to you .

” Wicked, man, it sounds sick with the microphone, never knew Liam was a dark horse ”, Johnny said .

” Yeah, do you wanna have a go ?”, Travis asked .

” What, with that thing ?, no way, you’d run a mile ”, Johnny said .

” Oh come on, Johnny, I did it, you don’t have to do much anyway, you can do a sound check if you want, you can just go ” One two, one two ”, Travis said .

” Ok then, I’ll do that, ok, this is pretty sick, this is, one two, one two, one two, one two ”, Johnny shouted, as he did a sound check to see if the sound was ok, cause he couldn’t get himself to sing .

” Hahaha, don’t do it too loud though, Liam’s probably wandering what we’re doing, you’ll break the floor boards ”, Travis said .

” Oh yeah, sorry sorry, did you hear the stomping, it’s wicked, innit ?, it’s like a bloody orchestra ”, Johnny said .

” Oh it’s hardly an orchestra, they have geezers waving this stick around like that, this is hardly an orchestra ”, Travis said, as he pretended to be a conductor . ” Wowowow wowahhh, ickishy ”, he sang .

I was in the cellar, trying to fix something, when I heard loud banging coming from the room above. So I thought ” What the hell is this ?, what’s this now ?”, so I had to step in and check on the boys to try and find out what it was . I heard stomping, banging and really loud singing, it sounded like a zoo . I thought ” Who could be doing this ?”, so I gave them a shout .

” Oi, Guys, what are you doing down there ?”, I shouted .

” Oh shit, sorry Liam, sorry ”, Travis shouted.

” Ok, you had your turn, it’s my turn now, move over, ok so, what am I gonna do, oh um, ok, I’ve got it. You are now listening to Eagle FM, with me, your host, DJ Louise and I’m here with the crack heads, this is DJ Louise and the crack heads, rah rah rah, boo boo boo boo boo boo boo, boo boo boo, the greatest DJ in the area, Johnny Branson ”, Johnny said, with a radio voice .

” Hahaha, oh stop that shit ”, Travis said and he slapped him, very softly because he thought that Johnny was messing around . Whilst they were doing that, Emmett walked into the room and made an announcement .

” Guys, group meeting, now ”, Emmett said and we all followed him into my room where the meeting was gonna take place. What is it this time ?.

” What is it that you wanna tell us ?”, I asked .

” Well um, just to start things off, um, so you know about this whole gang war thing ?”, Emmett asked .

” I’ve heard of it ”, I replied .

” Oh my god, Emmett, when are you gonna stop it with this gang war, there’s no gang war, the war’s over, Jesus Christ ”, Dominick said .

” But we need to do this, Dominick, do you wanna get smashed, left right and center, by these idiots ?, is that what you want ?”, Emmett asked .

” No, of course not, it’s just, like you always come up to us and tell us about this gang war thing, this constant, constant gang war nonsense, what are we gonna get out of it ?, it’s just like drilling a hole in a wall and you can’t fix it ”, Dominick said .

” Dominick, I really think that it’s best not to get involved, you don’t know you’re causing more and more damage ”, Johnny told him, to calm him down .

” Oh, I’m doing damage, I’m doing damage, alright, I see, well then, don’t come running to me when one of you gets roughed up by one of them, cause I won’t be there to pick up the pieces ”, Dominick shouted .

” You know what, if you’re gonna punch Johnny, don’t, cause it’s probably illegal ”, Travis said .

” You wanna see something that’s probably illegal, pass me that fucking stapler over there ”, Dominick shouted, as he pointed at the stapler .

” Oh, you’re going down with the bang, baby ”, Travis said .

” Alright, you know what we’re gonna do, I’ve heard that you love musicals, Dominick, so this is Tonight from West Side Story, ok, and I’m going to brrring the bloody house down, so you can’t rain on my parade, funny girl ”, Travis shouted . ” You know what we’re gonna do, when all of this over, we’re gonna take you down, we’re gonna take you down to funky town, funky town centre, here we come, choo fucking choo ”, he shouted .

” Is that really all you could think of, a choo choo train ?, you’re just as bad ”, Travis said .

” Choo Choo, Choo fucking fucking mega choo choo ”,  Dominick shouted .

” Alright, come on then, come on ”, Dominick shouted, and they started fighting each other . ” I asked you to send a solid shit in one direction, not mundra fucking everywhere ”, Dominick shouted .

” Oh I’ll send a huge shit your way, it’s coming right back, I’m telling you ”, Travis said .

” Guys, guys, come on, oh right, we’re gonna fight now, are we ?, oh come on, we’re not in a prison drama, are we ?”, I asked .

” Yes, we are in a prison drama, actually, yes, this is the cam down redemption with more tunneling around and no fucking redemption, this is bloody lockdown ”, Emmett said .

” Emmett, please, why do you wanna do this gang war anyway, our lives is already gang war as it is, we’ve got these geezers on our backs, don’t fucking leave us alone, they’re smashing us left right and center, day and night. Are we just gonna call the whole thing off and go up to them and be like ” Alright, now let’s all have a cup of tea, tell us all about how you turned into selfish gits ”, is that what we’re gonna do ?”, I asked .

” Well no, I don’t wanna do that shit, I don’t want their fucking tea, if something like that ever came along, I’d put fucking lard in it ”, Emmett shouted .

” Ok look, you know what, you’re right, if we don’t get at them, anytime soon, we’re gonna be pieces of toast, maybe you’re right, maybe we should do gang war ”, Dominick said .

” Wow, it took you that long, terrible ”, Emmett said .

” It’s not my fault I don’t like gang war, you’re badgering us, saying ” Brahhh, this is gang war, gang war ”, Dominick said, as he mocked Emmett .

” I don’t talk like that ”, Emmett said .

” You actually kinda do, that sounds exactly like you, he got it spot on ”, Kevin said .

” You’re just doing this just so we could get killed, that’s exactly what you’re doing, you wanna see us dead ”, Jamie said .

” Oh don’t be so fucking ridiculous, that’s hardly the point ”, Emmett said .

” Yeah yeah ”, Kevin said .

” You know what, this is utter slander, I’m not doing this bloody gang war ”, Dominick shouted and he stormed off in a right mood .

” Well done ”, I said. ” See, see what you just did, that’s my friend that you’ve just lost there ”, I said .

” Well, we knew him longer than you have, I’ve known him since he was a little boy ”, Jamie shouted .

” And now he’s gone and you can’t do anything about it ”, I shouted .

Dominick locked himself in his room, well, he thought that he locked it, but he was filled with so much anger that he didn’t manage to lock it, his hand slipped right off the door knob, so with that, he just left it open. Dominick never agreed to this whole gang war thing, he thought that it was stupid. He just wanted to save it for the rumble . At this moment in time, I was kicking myself, I couldn’t help but think that I probably just lost four good friends. I didn’t mean to snap at Jamie and Johnny, but with all the anger that I was experiencing at the time, the words just flew out of my mouth. We all say all sorts of mean and nasty things sometimes, but we don’t mean it . I left Dominick to have some time to himself, let him get it all under control. I thought that it was best to leave him alone for a little bit, he’ll come in when he’s ready. But he’s been in there for quite some time now, five hours have just gone past, I don’t think he’s gonna come out any time soon, I thought I’d better go and check on him . For my sanity and his . I knocked on the door .

” Who is it ?”, Dominick shouted .

” It’s me, Liam ”, I said .

” alright, come in ”, Dominick said . I twisted the door knob gently and walked in .

” Dominick, sorry, is it alright if I sit here, can you just move up a notch ?”, I asked, as I entered his room .

” Yeah sure, come in ”, He replied, and he moved up a bit .

” Cheers. ” so um, how are you doing ?, like are you doing alright ?”, I asked .

” I’m doing fine, thanks, why did you come up here then ?, what’s this about ?”, Dominick asked .

” Um nothing, nothing, I just um, I just wanted to see how you were doing, didn’t hear much from you since the last time you were here ”, I replied .

” Well, I’m doing fine, so ”, Dominick said .

” Look, I know that you’re angry about this whole gang war thing, but if it’s something that Emmett wants to do and if he feels like he can do it, then I’m afraid I can’t talk him out of this, I’ve tried everything, there’s nothing I can do ”, I said .

” Why does he want to do this gang war thing anyway, what is he gonna get out of this, why’s he so invested in this shit ?”, Dominick asked .

” It’s because he’s hungry, he loves violence, he’s built all that confidence, he doesn’t know when to stop, he’ll kill someone if you give him the chance ”, I replied .

” Why is he like that ?, why is he the way he is ?”, Dominick asked .

” He’s lived in a world of ignorance, he’s lived in a world that never cared for him, he’s lived in a world that abuses his power, makes him feel useless, and usually, you have to swear blind that you’ll never turn out like your enemies, anyone who hated you whilst you were at your best, or when you at your worst, but it’s like kick the man whilst he’s down, you swear that you’ll never turn out like that, but unfortunatly, he has and every bit of it, he feels powerful, dragging someone down, makes him feel like the bigger man, what can you do ?, ay ”, I said. ” I’d like to think that there’s still time, still time to get him out of this phase, he’s heading down a dangerous path ”, I added .

” But there’s still time, we have all the time in the world ”, Dominick told me .

” Oh, I don’t know about that, Dominick, Emmett’s already bad enough as it is, he will be framed for all the wicked things he’s done, what goes around, comes around, nature has it’s own way of dealing with things, and when that karma hits him, oof, it’s gonna hit him hard ”, I said .

” No, that’s not gonna happen, don’t even consider, we still have time, don’t give up just yet, we’ll think of something ”, Dominick said . Poor Dominick, he is full of hope, he never gives up, he believes there’s still time .

” Jesus Christ, Emmett and his gang war, honestly, I mean, what’s he thinking ?”, I said, as I tried to cheer him up .

” It’s absolutely ridiculous ”, Dominick said, and he started laughing .

” Yeah, I know, it’s like a life goal, it’s like ” When I get to the age of 21, I’m gonna do this ”, it’s like a massive thing, like nothing else, just gang war ”, I said . ” He’s like, ” Buuu, gang war, gang war ”, I mocked Emmett .

” Hahaha, bloody hell, he’s absolutely mad, if he’s gonna do gang war and he’s gonna make us do it as well, what do you think he’s gonna do, what does gang war entail, exactly ?”, Dominick asked .

” Hm, no clue, it could be anything, I hear it’s this thing where you hang down from this high rope, like trapeze and you do like summersaults and backflips ”, I replied .

” Oh what, we’re gonna do that ?, oh no way, it better not be, I can’t do that, we’ll look demented dimwits ”, Dominick said .

” That’s exactly what Emmett has signed us up for, I can’t believe it, we’re gonna do circus tricks ”, I said .

” Yeah, we’re gonna do like Indian rope trick or like I wei wei, the only way is wei wei ”, Dominick said .

” Haha, ahh jesus, I swear to god, if it is that, then I’m gonna lose my shit, I’m telling you ”, I said .

” Hah, you know what, I’m actually looking forward to this now, I actually wanna go and do it, are you feeling the same way ?”, Dominick asked .

” Nah, what me ?, you must be joking, I ain’t going and doing that thing, we’ll look like maniacs ”, I replied .

” Well, I am, so beat it. ” I’m gonna have the time of my life, step on those peasants egos ”, Dominick said .

” Oh how the tables have turned, I thought you didn’t wanna do it, you made a whole deal out of it ”, I said .

” Oh don’t worry about that, it was a passing phase, that was a moment of the past, I’m looking forward, there’s no time like the ”, Dominick said, I already knew what he was gonna say .

” There’s no time like the present, I know ”, I said .

” Brilliant, you already know all my phrases, now we can move on with life ”, Dominick said, as he got up from his bed .

” So, are we cool ?”, I asked, as I held my hand out, waiting for him to shake it, only if he’s okay with doing that, that is .

” We’re enemies for a day, Eagles for life ”, Dominick said, and he shook my hand .

” Let’s just act like this conversation didn’t even happen ?”, I said .

” Cool, hi, I’m Dominick, what’s your name ?”, he asked .

” I’m Liam, nice to meet you ”, I said, and I shook his hand .

” Pleasure meeting you, gor, it’s freezing out here, isn’t it ?”, Dominick asked .

” Oh yeah, it’s bloody freezing ”, I said and we started laughing . When we had a chat, he walked into my room, I thought it was about time we apologized to one another, after all, you can’t stay mad forever, it’s time to make ends meet .

” Oh look who’s back, it’s Dominick, where have you been ?”, Jamie asked .

” I was in my room for a little while, I had lots of thinking time, lately, and um, I’ve been thinking about what I’ve been doing, what I did was bang out of order, I should have never snapped at Emmett ”, Dominick replied. ” Where is Emmett ?, is he here ?”, he asked .

” Yeah, he’s just gone for a piss, he’ll be out in a sec ”, Jamie replied .

” Oh ok, so how is he then ?, is he alright ?”, he asked .

” Yeah, he’s fine, you know what he’s like, it’s a small thing, really, he’ll get over it ”, Jamie replied .

” Oh ok ”, Dominick said . A few minutes later, Emmett walked out of the Cat and dog  and he was still upset . { Cat and dog is cockney ryming slang for bathroom}

” Hi Emmett, are you alright, yeah ?”, Dominick asked .

” Oh bloody hell, not you again, what do you want ?”, Emmett asked .

” Look, Emmett, I’m really sorry, what I did was bang out of order, I am not proud of it any shape or form ”, Dominick said .

” Well, you’re sorry, you wasn’t earlier though, was you ?”, Emmett said .

” I know, that’s the thing, I’ve thought about this a lot, I couldn’t help but think that I hurt your feelings ”, he said .

” Why are you so concerned about my feelings, my feelings are rock hard as shit, don’t you worry about them ”, Emmett said .

” Well, I am, cause you’re my friend, you’ve got me through some tough shit, how can I live without you ?”, Dominick said .

” Wow, that’s flattering ”, Emmett said, sarcastically .

” The thing is, is that I didn’t agree with the gang war idea, I felt like it was dangerous and stupid, but you see, Liam talked me out of it ”, Dominick said .

” Oh, did you, Liam ?”, Emmett asked, as he looked at me .

” I did, yeah ”, I replied .

” You know, I’m actually looking forward to doing this, I just piled on all that extra stress, for nothing ”, Dominick said .

” Ar well, that’s alright then, sorted ”, Emmett said .

” Right so, you’re not mad at us anymore ?”, I asked.

” Nah, yeah exactly, I’m leaving all that behind, I’m moving forward ”, he replied .

” Ah fantastic, well, that’s just brilliant, that is, I knew we’d get there in the end ”, I said .

” Yeahhh, the Eagles are back ”, Johnny shouted .

” This calls for a celebration, where’s my fucking chardonet ”, I said .

” Yeah, we’re gonna do the gang war first, then we can celebrate ”, Emmett said .

” Oh come on now ”, Kevin said. ” Enough with the war shit ”, he added .

” Yeah yeah yeah ”, Emmett said .

” Guys, sit down, the meeting’s not over yet, be quiet, alright guys, listen up . We all gathered around the bed room, some were sitting on the bed, some were sitting on the floor, some were standing up .

” We get there by car, we wake up a minute early, we arrive at the old warehouse on time, even earlier, if it’s possible and then we find somewhere to hide and then we wait, we better not muck this up, this is our only chance ”, Emmett said. ” Do I make myself clear ?”, Emmett asked .

” Yesssssss ”, we all yelled .

” Brilliant, alright everyone, go upstairs to your bed rooms, you’ve got to get some rest, you have a very important day ahead of you, alright goodnight, off you go ”, Emmett said, and we all headed upstairs to our rooms to get some rest and feel fully refreshed for whatever tomorrow throws at us .

!!! Tomorrow, the boys are going to go and do gang war, things may get messy, arrive at the Driscool wharehouse and join them, and don’t be late . !!!

End of chapter