Posted on November 26, 2020
Halloween With Hayley And Joe
Halloween is a great time of year where you see pumpkins, ghosts and other ghastly creatures, but most of all, trick or treating. Trick or treating is where you go out dressed up as scary characters and wear costumes and ask strangers for sweets. But Halloween with me and Hayley is diffrent, nothing like the original halloween, here is how we celebrate the holiday. Me and Hayley love Halloween, instead of carving pumpkins, we carve cabbages , onions and watermelons , we just choose to carve onions since they are more chunky, and they get really moldy after 3 days, but we usually have it all covered, when we are finished with it, we deliver the leftovers to our neighbors, they don’t like but we don’t really care. For trick or treating we are too old for getting dressed up and asking for sweets but we always knock on our neighbor’s doors and we get like cans of beans, like the Hienz kind, and we also get like canned mushy peas, not exactly what we expect to get but we have to accept it anyway, at least it is edible. When I was young I used to get given like paper clips and they always used to be left in my chest of drawers, never used them.
Posted on November 26, 2020
Script, The Day Out
Hayley] Hey Joe.
Joe] Hey , what’s up?
Hayley] oh nothing really, you?
Joe] yeah , nothing.
Hayley] Do you fancy going on a day out together?
Joe] I think that’ll be great, Are you up for it?
Hayley] yeah , I am up for it, where do you wanna go?
Joe] I don’t now really, we can either go for a trip locally.
Hayley] ok, have you ever been down Dalston before?
Joe] yeah, it is not that place with that Market isn’t it?
Hayley] yeah, but it is better than you think.
Joe] no, it is probably what I think it is, I am not going there.
Hayley] Why do you hate it so much there anyway?
Joe] Because one time I went there, yeah I got in a punch up with a person there and one of the people chased me with a narwhal’s tusk.
Hayley] Really? that is awful.
Joe] yeah, do you want that to happen again?
Hayley] no, of course not.
Joe] Ok, then don’t go.
Hayley] Look, it won’t happen again, the person probably moved towns.
Joe] Do you think so? because if it isn’t he’s gonna be the one with the narwhal’s tusk hanging out of him.
Hayley] look , that was the past, it is probably changed, since the last time you came.
Joe] ok , We’ll go then, but if it happens again I’m out of there.
Hayley] yeah, yeah, yeah, get in the car, we are going.
Joe] ok , fine.
they arrived.
Hayley] ok, so this is the market.
Joe] yeah, I know what it is.
Hayley] look Joe, look at the those fishes.
Joe] Yeah, it stinks here.
Hayley] it is really cool, isn’t it?
Joe] Really Hayley, Do you really think I am gonna smile and say wow to a fish? you got to be kidding me.
Hayley] Look Joe, Do you see those bags ?
Joe] What those bags?, what are they?
Hayley] I have no idea, do you know what? I am gonna go and ask.
Joe] No don’t, I’ll get chased again.
Hayley] Hello, What are those things up there?
Seller] Oh those things, they are animal heads.
Hayley] Oh what? Oh hell no, animal heads, who wants them?
Joe] I want to go because the heads are staring at me.
Hayley] Woah, not so fast Joe.
Joe] What the hell are you doing here , looking and talking to the heads, making me look like an idiot?
Hayley] I don’t know what you are talking about.
Joe] Oh crap, who is that? it is not who I think it is.
Unknown] Well, well, well, we meet again.
Joe] Oh not you again, what do you want from me?
Unknown] You are down the wrong road , Mr.
Hayley] Joe, what is going on ?
Unknown stranger pulls out narwhal’s tusk.
Joe] oh, stop come on Hayley , lets go.
Hayley] ok.
They finally escaped the mad man, when suddenly he appeared again.
Joe] I thought you were gone, Do you have magic powers or something? are you a wizard ? Go away.
Stranger] Who’s gonna make me?
Joe] just you watch.
Hayley] What are you doing Joe? put the animal head down, what do you think you are doing?
Joe] I am getting rid of this phychopath from my life for good.
Hayley] oh , don’t do it.
Joe got rid of the mad man for good, They got home safetly.
Hayley] Hey Joe, I have to say on how shocked I was on how you handled it today.
Joe] yeah, well, friends look after each other, don’t they?
end of script.
Posted on November 26, 2020
Joe’s beliefs In Aliens
Every day, every night, I see weird oval shaped things, In my mind I keep thinking on whether they are aliens, I keep telling people about my discovery but they think I am crazy. Don’t know what to believe. I keep thinking whether there are real aliens out there or it’s just a myth , However I still think that they are real and trust me I’ve seen them myself, and I am not seeing things. When I go out for walks , I see oval shaped things in the skies, normal people would say it is a kite or a frisbee , but I see it a different way. Every time I explain the discovery to Hayley , she thinks I am sick, I don’t like it, I am saying that there is proof that they are real, . The same looking things fly over my house and waves at me every night, And I am not dreaming.
Hayley on Joe’s belief on aliens
I am sure Joe has told you about his belief on aliens, it is the weirdest thing I have ever seen. I see Joe waving in windows and talking, I’m sure he is a fantasist, He keeps saying that he sees UFOs in the sky, but what he is actually seeing are aeroplanes, not UFOs. He goes crazy, I don’t know what I should do, probably take him to see a therapist, check him out. I don’t really know why he is so obsessed with aliens, I think he watched a documentary, it is taking over his mind. Many people see him waving in the windows and they get worried, everybody knows that aliens are not real, I keep telling him but he gets aggressive and obsessive. I am getting very worried now.
Joe’s response
I don’t know what the hell Hayley is talking about, I am seeing UFOs , not aeroplanes , and I am not gonna see a therapist, I don’t need that sort of help, perhaps Hayley needs it though. I can’t handle her stupid answers anymore, I wish I had proof, I wish I got a camera and filmed the footage to prove that Hayley is stupid and that I am right, that is all what I need. Hayley is in a dream world, she needs to wake up and relocate from the fake world to the real world, I am so fed up of it all being treated like a joke, I don’t care if people see me waving in the windows, they can jog on, I don’t care one bit. I just wish she took the subject seriously, that is all I want, and no I am not obsessive, don’t say that ok.
Hayley’s next response
I know but you were quite obsessive not gonna lie, all of that just about aliens, surely it is stupid, the aliens don’t give a crap about you. I always thought you saw aeroplanes, not UFOs , I thought that subject was declared years ago, they said that they are not real, you know, what are you gonna do about it? you can’t bring it all back. I can’t explain on how many times you scared and worried me by talking to yourself, I had to maintain it all in front of loads of people in public because it looked weird. If you really think aliens are real, why don’t you just prove it to me?
Joe’s next response
That is because you say that I am a fantasist, I do show you, don’t try and pretend that you forgot cause I know what you are thinking, don’t try and think that I am stupid. I can’t explain on how many times you made me look like a laughing stock, you made me look like a weirdo in Morrisons the other day and that is all you. Anyway aliens make sense to be thinking about, you are the sort of person that believes that milk cartons can walk and talk if it had a mouth and legs, I mean that is just stupid, not believing that milk cartons can walk and talk. Every time I talk about aliens you act like it is a deadly virus, why do you act like that? what is wrong with aliens? do they haunt you? that is gonna ruin my chemistry with aliens.
Hayley’s next response
First of all, where the hell did you come up with the whole milk cartons can walk situation, I am not that sort of person, you don’t know me, you probably dream all of it up, the whole thing in Morrisons never happened, that was like months ago, I see you are stuck in a time loop, I never believed that milk cartons can walk, that just shows you on how much of a fantasist you really are. Aliens can’t be your friends, they can’t even talk, you know it is a myth, aliens don’t fly over your house, they don’t even know you, they are strangers to you, drop the whole aliens thing, they are not real.
Joe’s final response
I’m never gonna give up on the aliens subject, why would I give up on something I am interested in? you can’t tell me that they are not real, you are not a scientist, you don’t know the whole process of space. who are you to tell me? you don’t even know the alphabet works. I know aliens are real, I am writing one right now, and it is making me feel sick and tired along the way, I am talking to a living brick wall, and don’t ask me who that is, don’t think you are ready for that part yet. What do you have againgst aliens? every time I talk about them you seem to dodge the conversation, I understand that is the whole point of an opinion but you don’t have one and you just think you can prove it but you don’t know yourself, so how can you be so sure?.
Posted on November 26, 2020
Our Pet Peeves
Joe’s pet peeves
One of my pet peeves is traffic, Hate traffic, I could go mad along the moterway, when I am in a traffic Jam I could have like 1o mental breakdowns and I can almost punch somebody, I haven’t been driving for months , just to take it easy.
My other pet peeve is ignorance , I deal with ignorance everywhere, Where I live and out on the streets, every person that walks past me doesn’t say hello when I say it to them, some of them just do it on purpose, I can’t handle my anger when in those sorts of situations.
Embarrassment ] I deal with embarrassment a lot back at home, Hayley is a part of that, She’ll do anything to get on my nerves, she is a very embarrassing person, you would have to an embarrassing person yourself to have a friend like that, and I am not embarrassing, just got with the wrong person I guess, but I am ok with it for the time being.
Hayley’s pet peeves
Stupid beliefs] Stupid beliefs is definetly one of my pet peeves, for instance, the other day Joe explained that he believes in aliens, He said he has seen UFOs but I think that he is crazy, he also said that I am the sort of person that believes that Milk cartons can walk, I mean what a fantasist?.
No manners] This one definetly really annoys me , the other day I kept the door open for a customer in the shop and they didn’t say thank you, you know if I wasnt nice I would of let her struggle and drop her groceries, I wouldn’t help her, wouldn’t budge.
Littering] littering is disrespectful, I saw somebody drop their plastic cup and didn’t even pick it up, what if they actually get off their bum and clean it up, there was a bin right next to her, walked past it, seriously disrespectful idiot.
Posted on November 26, 2020
New Years Celebrations
For new years celebrations we don’t really throw any parties or celebrate much, we all do it very diffrently , however , every year to celebrate New years people watch this firework display on the tv , we find it very boring, there’s no point screaming at the tv when you see stupid holograms made out of fire, and the worst thing is that the programme is very long, it goes on forever, and the flashing images give me really bad migraines, seriously it drives me crazy. Most of the bands that play there never really seem to satisfy me, and when they sing through the microphone it is like air comes out but no sound, it gives me a headache at the end, don’t come at me, but it is my opinion, and a opinion stays as an opinion.
Don’t you dare throw a stone at me, the stones are staying in your backyard .
New years with Hayley
New years is an exciting time of year for most people, for me it is not really much of a big deal, it is a waste of time if you ask me. We don’t really celebrate new years, don’t think we are bothered, except on that day we just fight over who gets to take the rubbish out, it is always occasional. However, about the bands playing live on stage, trying to entertain people while the fireworks are taking ages to go off, must be hard, bless them, anyway, I don’t listen to a lot of music, so I wern’t really satisfied , I am sorry but whenever I see a musician singing on stage, it looks like they are suffering from constipation and diarrea ,and that must be why they sweat a lot, can’t imagine it, must be awful. I don’t know about anyone else but I wouldn’t wanna see musicians on stage suffering from bad toilet issues so I would rather take a pass on that one.
Posted on November 26, 2020
What We Do In Our Free Time
Over the last couple of weeks we haven’t been doing anything but doing a few tweaks around the house, here are some of the things we have doing to pass the time. 1 of the things I do sometimes is sketching, except with a twist, I draw sketches of things I see , like trees, a plastic bag which I keep on seeing that floats around on cars, seriously I think I am going mad. Another thing I do is I draw a line every time I see a reflection of my shadow, I know it is weird but I think it is rather satisfying , to be honest I don’t care what anybody thinks. I also create footprints , it can sometimes lead to my house or my backyard , people or neighbors probably think I have OCD or something but I can accept that. Another thing I do is set up pull pranks on Hayley, the funny thing is with her is that she doesn’t know what is coming , but it backfires, still funny though.
What I do in my free time with Hayley
I have a couple of activities that I do to pass the time, recently every day has felt like a time loop, it has been crazy. Here are some of the things I do to pass the time. One of the things I do is play a game , which entails numbers, it is not really a game but I think you know what I mean. It includes a pencil and piece of paper, and I just basically write down numbers, there are millions of other things I can do instead of that but I don’t care. Another thing what I do is I chase cats around the block, I love cats or anything furry except for spiders, yeah no I don’t deal in that, I don’t care on what the cats are thinking, but I’ll carry on doing that, There’s a paticuliar breed of cat that wonders around in the bushes, it is like a British Cream, Joe would flip if he sees it, he hates cats, but I like them and I have no problem following the cats, I do that daily, Probably 10 times depending on when it turns up, it sometimes craps in the bushes, but it is not my problem, I don’t clean it, the council does, so that is a bonus for me.
Posted on November 25, 2020
Words Of Wisdom About Hayley By Joe And Hayley About Joe
I swear , Hayley is one of those people that have jumped straight out of a horror, thriller movie, She creeps me out, I swear I have nightmares and I can’t sleep at night, because I am frightened that she’ll do something to, it is like horror sequel viewers waiting for something to jump out and scare you, it is just like that in real life without all the CGI and makeup and special effects. I can describe Hayley in a Million words, They are, crazy, frightening, chaotic, thick , nosy , and I can describe Hayley in a million other words but the list will go on forever, and I choose not to.
If Joe has mental breakdowns and panic attacks, He wouldn’t do anything normal, I even see him Jumping around and ripping things in half, when he gets to the bottom of that He’ll have nowhere to live, and that part isn’t very far away , I can feel it coming.
Joe is the sort of person who will speak his mind , which I find ok, but he ruins things for a lot of people, like I have to maintain it for everyone, so it doesn’t get out of hand, which is hard because he won’t stop sometimes. And I have to also kick him out of public places, since it gets too much to handle, it is very sad but it is true, You cant get about in life without dealing with tough situations.
Posted on November 25, 2020
Joe’s Impressions On Their New Neighbours
My first impressions on the new neighbours are that they stink, I hate them, they stared at us in weird ways and they looked suspicious too. They also refused to take the cups of tea that we offered them which was rude, we put in our effort to welcome them and they are not grateful . Completly unacceptable , not even gonna try to be nice to them, let them learn the cruel way. The Neighbors are literally bad eggs, if they need help I am just gonna let them starve and face the pain, that is all what they deserve. I have a feeling that they are the sort of people who are gonna throw us under the bus, if they do, no worries I’ll throw them under the bus too, and it would be really easy, I’ll do that without conflict and a shadow of a doubt.
Hayley on the Neighbors
My first impressions on the neighbors are that they are nice and humble but I might be changing my mind, I think one of them is a criminal, I saw the article in a local newspaper, I’m getting quite worried, I haven’t told Joe about it yet but I will break the news, I should probably think about moving. I do not like them, one of them woke me up at 3am to give them milk and a couple of quid, and they did not bring anything back in return, What jokers, Honestly?
They sent like 5 complaints about us when we didn’t do anything wrong, what noisy idiots, I am gonna make sure I send some complaints about them so that we are even, I am gonna do them on how bad neighbors they are, I am telling ya, they are gonna have trauma from that, but it won’t be my problem , They deserve it.
Posted on November 25, 2020
All On The Streets With Joe And Hayley
Every time we go for a walk on the streets, we witness some weird things. Once when I went on a evening stroll around the block , I noticed a fox in the bush screaming like a girl or somebody being murdered, scared the crap out of me.
There was this other time where I was breifely walking to the shops and suddenly a jogger aproached me, and steam came out of her mouth and went straight into my face, I hate them, they have no sense, no one wants to smell their breath, it is really annoying.
Then another time I saw somebody standing near the shop with a wooden hanger in their hand, where the hell does he think he is? what the hell has the world come to?.
Posted on November 25, 2020
The British Take Off
Sending Hayley on the Great British Bake off was by far one of the biggest mistakes ever. I knew Hayley was a very violent person, everybody wasn’t ready for her, she started off ok then it sort of kicked off out of no where. The last thing I ever remembered when I , watched the footage was I saw Hayley throw a fridge at one of the judges, I think it was Paul Hollywood, makes the thought sound more painful, he had no idea what was coming, probably has a phobia of fridges now, ever since it happened Hayley kept it all a secret, probably ashamed and guilty. Hayley was always a competetive person, she always wants to win, and she always hates it when things don’t go her way, which is a problem.
This thing literally sounds like a soap opera but it is real events from Hayley, it is much worse since I know her.