The Boys Of New York, Mocumentary Script, Messing With The Wrong Person

{First scene, Ponyboy is walking outside}

Ponyboy} Oh my god, listen to this right, ok so, I was walking around here and a squirrel jumped on me, I never jumped so high in my life, don’t come with your made up bullshit, saying that squirrels are afraid of humans cause I will come down there and I will find you and I will kill you, well not really kill you, but you get what I’m saying, just don’t mess with me, otherwise you get karma .

{Next scene, Everybody is in Reggie’s office}

Dallas} Ahhhhhhhhhhh for god sake, what are you doing, man, you must be sick .

Reggie} What is wrong, Dallas ?.

Dallas} Oh what is wrong, what is wrong, I’ll tell you what’s wrong, that stupid thing that everyone put on the doorstep of my condo .

Reggie} What thing ?.

Dallas} Oh so you don’t know, it’s this boot thing, it’s bigger then my house, it looks nothing like a boot, it’s my house, actually .

Johnny} Oh my god, man, why are you talking about this now, it happened 5 days ago .

Dallas} No it didn’t, I found it today, what are you talking about ?, stop acting like it was there for decades .

Reggie} Wait guys, let me get this straight, there’s a boot on your doorstep, how did it get there ?.

Dallas} Ho, you’re asking me, I don’t know, man, I am clueless as hell, I don’t have an answer, it didn’t get there by force, didn’t it ?, someone must have put it there .

Ponyboy} I’m sorry but, if you are saying that I did it, you need serious help .

Steve} Reggie, if you are taking Dallas to the asylum, take Johnny boy as well .

Ponyboy} What for, I wasn’t involved, neither was he ?.

Reggie} I’m taking no one to an asylum, not until I find out what’s wrong .

Johnny} Look guys, why is this essential, there are more important things to think about, like Donald Trump causing trouble in the Election polls, saying it’s rigged and whatnot .

Dallas} You call that important, that’s the opposite of important .

Reggie} Shhhhhhhhh, I called you into this office so that I could inform you about something .

Dallas} What is it, it better be something important this time, if it’s something about cleaning the skips, I ain’t got time for that shit .

Reggie} No it’s nothing like that, it’s nothing involved with skips and the dumpsters, it’s something better then that .

Dallas} Ok can you just tell me what it is, I’m not gonna sit here, listening to the sound of your own flute, ain’t nobody got time for that .

{Dally’s read}

” No but seriously, who’s got time for that, probably someone who is an alien, and somehow, Reggie thinks that we are aliens, but nah, he wrong ” .

{Then Dallas stands up and has an argument with Reggie}

Dallas} Nah, uh uh, you are not making me sit down for this, I am getting the heck outta here, cause it’s shit, ok thanks, ya’ll, you’re wasting 5 minutes of my life . { Then he storms off}

Reggie} What the hell is wrong with you, I will not allow this sort of attitude in my office, you understand ?.

Dallas} Oh for god sake, do I look like I give a damn, I’m not your pet .

Reggie} Can you calm down and come back in the room when you are ready ?.

Dallas} Yeah whatever, I ain’t coming back, this is a lockdown, nobody’s coming in or out . { Then he slams the door}

Reggie} Mentalist .

{Then Dallas walks in the hallway in a grumpy mood}

Dallas} I am done here, I am proper raging, I’m gonna go, that’s what I’m gonna do, I want out .

{ Johnny, Ponyboy and Steve start laughing}

{Reggie’s read}

” Jesus Christ, who knew that I would be doing this for my job, who knew, huh ?, I didn’t, that’s for sure, the scariest thing is that I don’t know where Dallas is, he could either be punching a wall or starting a fire, who knows, but the thing I do know is that I’m not going back out there, he can come in when he’s ready ” .

{ Steve is sitting down, confused about where his friend is}

Steve} Hey Johnny, have you seen where Dally is ?.

Johnny} Nah, no sign of him, have you ?.

Steve} Nah me neither .

{ Then suddenly, Reggie comes in and slams the door behind him}

Reggie} Oh Jesus Christ, yep, he’s found the num chucks .

Johnny} Reg, why would you keep num chucks in your cabinet ?.

Reggie} No idea, I just do, look, this this urgent, he’s gone absolutely ballistic . { Then he goes again}

{ Johnny tries so hard not to laugh}

{ Then Reggie goes out to find Dallas, and he’s standing there with the num chucks}

Reggie} but them back in, you maniac .

Dallas} Oh hello Reggie, nice seeing you here .

Reggie} What the hell do you think that you are doing with those num chucks, put them away .

Dallas} I found these in your cabinet, are you a trained ninja or something ?.

Reggie} No I’m not, but I will turn into one in a minute if you don’t put them away .

{Dallas starts waving them about} Look Reg, wAaaaaaaaahhhhhhh, waaaaaaaaaa .

Reggie} Stop it, stop doing basket case, you lunatic, owwwww .

{While that’s going on, Johnny, Ponyboy and Steve are watching it through the window}

Ponyboy} I swear that they are taking long . { Then he turns around and sees Dallas and Reggie fighting} ” Oh Gawd ” .

Soda} Woah, goodness gracious me, look at that, woah, quick . { He points at the window}

{ Then Darryl suddenly appears}

Darry} What the hell is going on there ?.

Ponyboy} Ahhhhhh, Darry, what are you doing here, I thought that you were at work .

Darry} I was, I got sent home early, they got someone else to work on the building sites .

Soda} Dude, you almost scared the life out of me, don’t do that again .

Ponyboy} Are you seeing this, brother ?.

Darry} Yeah, two people fighting, same old shit you see in New York .

{Then Soda carries on pointing at the window and freaking out}

Soda} Jimminy Jones, look, the nature of the thing that has happened has changed slightly, making that even more interesting .

Two Bit} What is going on though ?, I don’t get it, is it a party, are we supposed to dance .

Darry} Do you see us dancing ?.

Two Bit} Oh come on, Darryl, you spend your whole life dancing and you don’t know this, wake up, bitch, wake up .

Darry} I do, but this is a total mad house .

Two Bit} You know what, it feels like I have to dance, so I’m gonna dance, this is my moment . { Then he starts dancing}

{Then Darryl just gives up and starts dancing as well}

Johnny} Yo, what is he doing ?.

Ponyboy} Just don’t worry about him, he does this all the time at our house .

Johnny} I seriously don’t know what is going on outside, what are Reg and Dally doing ?.

Soda} I can’t explain it, you’re just gonna have to come here and stare at the window for a while .

Johnny} I’m not gonna go over there, I can’t be bothered .

Two Bit} Guys, why don’t you join in the party as well ?.

Ponyboy} Are you being serious, Two Bit, does it look like a party to you, does a party include punching and kicking ?.

Two Bit} Well, they do at the ones that I go to, usually a fight has to start and then everyone starts dancing .

Johnny} Yo, what are they doing, does this normally happen ?.

Steve} Yeah, this happens quite a few times, don’t worry, you’ll get used to it, it’s nothing new .

Ponyboy} Oh my god, this is mad, I need to get it on film .

Johnny} Wait, you’re not gonna film it, aren’t you ?.

Ponyboy} Yes I am, it’ll get me views on my You tube channel, this is gonna sick, in about 5 minutes, you’re gonna see some serious shit, and he pulls out his phone} ” Ahhhh, there you go, got em ” .

Johnny} This is gonna be a long day .

{A few minutes later, everything finally cooled off between Dallas and Reggie and they all have bruises and black eyes, they were holding ice packs, Darryl and Soda went back home}

Johnny} Yo what were you two doing in the hallway, why did you have num chucks ?.

Dallas} I don’t know, ask that maniac over there, it’s his cabinet .

Reggie} How did you even get into my cabinet, it was locked .

Dallas} I punched my way into it .

Reggie} Right, you need to pay for charges, you need to pay it now, hand over the cash .

Dallas} What, how much do I need to pay you ?.

Reggie} About 100 dollars .

Dallas} Heh, oh hell naw, I ain’t paying that much for a silly cabinet .

Reggie} Yes you do .

Dallas} Well that is just sad .

Ponyboy} Hey guys, I know what would cheer you up, Guess what I have .

Steve} What do you have ?.

Johnny} Oh don’t tell me that you have that video with that goose again, you better not .

Ponyboy} No it’s not the goose video, I have the video of you two fighting, I put on You tube .

{Then Reggie spits out his drink} You what ?.

Ponyboy} You know when you were fighting like mad earlier ?.

Reggie} Yeah I’ve heard of it .

Ponyboy} Yeah, I uploaded it on my You Tube channel, I got over 10 Million views and it’s only 5 o clock, check out, bam, pretty cool, ay ?.

Dallas} Oh my god, I can’t believe that you’ve done this, I hate you .

Ponyboy} Sue me .

Reggie} Sorry guys, but can you just get out of my office, you stink and you are getting blood on my carpet, now toodoolo .

Dallas} Ahhhhh shit, I’m outta here, you can keep this though, I don’t want it . { Then he gives Reggie the ice pack}

Reggie} No, I don’t want it, what am I gonna do with this, make a blindfold ?.

Dallas} Well, it was made for you, so .

Reggie} No, just take the ice pack and get off my property .

{Then Dallas just yeets out of the building with Steve, Ponyboy and Johnny}

{Dally’s read}

” Hah hah, just a little secret between you and I, guess who still has Reggie’s num chucks, me, and I ain’t giving it back, all I know is that it’s safe with me and he can’t break into my house and steal it, now mind you, I have a mission to do, good day . { Then just walks off}

{Then Reggie notices that the num chucks have been missing}

Reggie} Oh hold on a sec, where are the num chucks gone, I swear that they were here a while ago . { Then he goes through everything in the cupboard and finds a note, and it said .

The note

Hah hah hah, got the num chucks, sucker .

And Reggie just chucked it in the dumpster and walked out of the room, and Dallas started laughing whilst he hid behind the wall .

{Dally’s read}

” Hah hah hah, that was sick, he doesn’t know that it was me who did it, he was messing with the wrong person, looks like my job here is done, well not done, but I’m taking a break .

End of mocumentary script