New Script, A Struggling Writer Who Has Had A Breakdown

Hi guys, hope you’re all doing well. I have something very special in store for you lot today. I’ve got a new script to share with you guys . It’s about a struggling writer, his name is Richard and he has had a mental breakdown and he has been sent to this councillor’s office and he tries to find piece and a reason to carry on with his writing . I wrote this script a few days ago. I’m always trying out new things with scripts and characters . I hope you like it, it’s really funny . So here it is, enjoy .

{Warning, this script contains strong language and adult humor}

The councillor} Richard, Richard. Why are you causing a commotion ?. You had a breakdown and you scared my colleagues . Why are you doing this to yourself ?. Are you alright ?.

Richard} No I’m not, I’m not alright . Everything’s fucked at the moment . Don’t even know where to start .

The councillor} What’s the matter with you ?. What was all the shouting about ?. I was holding a very important meeting with a bunch of other councillors and the major shareholders of this company, meanwhile, you’re rolling about the place like a maniac, screaming about bloody Hamlet. What’s all that about ?, hm ?. This has been going on for a few good weeks now, it’s about time I finally put an end to this .

Richard} Ok well, first of all, why would I be screaming about Hamlet, I hate Hamlet. I don’t know what’s going on in that little head of yours, you’re re writing history, mate, you need to un clog it straight away .

The councillor} Look ok, I called you into my office to have an honorable discussion and you’re treating this place like a playground .

Richard} Honorable discussion, what honorable discussion ?. This isn’t honorable. It’s like saying ” Oh yeah, get the family over for dinner, we’re gonna have an honorable discussion ”. Nothing here is honorable .

The councillor} Hey, you have no right to bring my family into this. It’s hard, it’s hard working six jobs a day. Imagine being in my shoes. It’s easy for you to say, you don’t have to do shit. You can just sit down and write a script or two, you don’t have to worry about anything .

Richard} Oh yeah ?, and why do you think that, sir ?. Why do you think that my job is easy ?. Why don’t you try and write something ?. You know how long it takes me to write one paragraph ?. It takes me five weeks to write one draft. Then for the rest of my day, I’m thinking about what goes next . Then for the next two hours, I’m thinking about fucking geese .

The councillor} Richard, language, language.

Richard} I’m sorry but you will never be a writer. You think it’s so easy, why don’t you try it ?. I’m so done with this shit, man .

The councillor} What have you written so far ?.

Richard} Hm, a story about a dancing tree who was planted in the Bronx, a story about a girl who forms an unlikely bond with a sumo wrestler in Korea. Man lives in a tunnel where he hides from his wife .

The councillor} My god .

Richard} The list goes on forever. And oh yeah, there’s another one about a man who falls in love with a China doll .

The councillor} Ok, that’s enough. Thank you, Richard, I see that you have lots of material.

Richard} Well, if it’s good material, then that’s another thing. I couldn’t give a shit, really .

The councillor} Well, of course it’s good. They are very interesting story ideas .

Richard} How do you know ?. How do you know if it’s good  ?. You know shit, old man .

The councillor} Well really, I don’t know because I haven’t heard it yet .

Richard} Well, would you like to ?.

The councillor} No, I’m sorry, I’m quite busy at the moment, but maybe later .

Richard} Ok. The story starts in a small village in Japan. Little girl called Irisu was walking in a forest, aroused by the outside world, experiencing everything for the very first time since she was seperated since birth. ” Oh, I do like the green green leaves in the forest, it reminds me of home ”. The pine trees stare at her like ” What the fuck ?”. Little girl Irisu says .

The councillor} Right ok, that’s enough for today.

Richard} What do you think ?, it was good, wasn’t it ?.

The councillor} Yeah it was good. It’s just being creative and artistic, you’re experimenting with different writing styles. What do you think of the story ?.

Richard} I don’t know, I think it would have been better if she didn’t go into the forest .

The councillor} Right okay okay. So Richard, what do you think of this whole writing thing ?. Do you enjoy it ?.

Richard} I don’t know, man, that’s a very nerve wrecking question. You have no right put me on the spot like that ?.

The councillor} What, what did I do ?.

Richard} You just asked me if I enjoyed writing ?. What the hell am I supposed to say ?. It’s just like saying ” Oh yeah, do you like sailing the seven seas ?”, I have a boat, doesn’t mean I sail though . It’s bloody rubbish .

The councillor} What are you on about ?. I didn’t say anything about sailing. I just said ” Do you enjoy writing ?”, that’s all I said . What’s that got to do with sailing ?.

Richard} Well, you don’t read a script on a boat, do you ?.

The councillor} Richard, don’t go into that now.

Richard} You asked me whether or not I enjoy writing, what do you think is the answer ?. Am I sitting here, thinking about seeing name on the hall of fame, being known as the new Scorsese, or am I thinking about picking up my bags and leaving your office ?.

The councillor} How am I supposed to know ?, I can’t read minds, I wish I could. I think that you’re thinking of the first option. I think that you’re thinking about being a successful, famous film director .

Richard} Well, you’re wrong. But wouldn’t that be nice ?. For once in my life, I am being known for something and not just die as this unknown individual who writes theatre plays for bloody prisons. It’s like ” Yeah, there’s Tarantino, there’s Spielberg, there’s Scorsese, then there’s Richard Goulding, who the fuck is he ?”. That’s really what it is .

The councillor} Well, how do you know ?. Something might happen later on. It’s early days still, but if you keep at it, that might be you one day . Never say never .

Richard} Will it though, will it ?. Cause I think this is absolutely pointless, everyone keeps saying that I’ve got something special in me, I don’t see anything. I will never be as good as those geezers. Those geezers are the real deal. They’ve been doing it for years, they know how it goes .

The councillor} Well, they’ve been doing it for a long time, You don’t get it straight away. How do you think they all did it then ?. When they were all newbies, do you think they were like ” Oh forget this, this is rubbish, I’m never gonna do this again, it’s pointless ”, no they didn’t, they stuck with it and now look. They are the most successful film directors out there today. The key is to never give up, even if you think it’s not going well, stick with it because you never know. I think you’ll find it gets better with time and practise. The more you work on something, the more hard work and effort you put into your work, the more you make progress .

Richard} Right well, I wish I could believe that. I don’t have any brain cells left. I have one brain cell, the rest have washed away back to bloody secret land of brain cells.

The councillor} Richard, what I’ve been meaning to tell you is that you’ve gotta stop doubting yourself. You’ve been doing this for ages now and I don’t like it. All this wasted talent, all this wasted potential. Where’s it all gone ?. And now you’re saying that you can’t do it .

Richard} Well yeah, that’s right, I can’t . I can’t do shit. I can’t sing, I can’t dance, I can’t act. I’m shit at everything. Where’s the talent ?, I can’t see any talent .

The councillor} Yeah, but you can write though. And that’s just as good as everything else. Writers are talented too. Singers and actors are not the only ones who are talented. Hey, let me tell you something. The ones who go into acting, singing and dancing, they don’t start off amazing and perfect, it takes training, years and years of training . What about Shirley Bassey ?. She can sing, boy can she sing ?. But when she began her career, she wasn’t perfect. It takes hard work and courage .

Richard} Well no it’s not. Shirley Bassey had range. She was perfect from start to finish, she was born a star, she had everything . Me ?, not so much, I’m hardly James Taylor, I’m more like Roberto Blanco. I’m like the guy in the back of the bar who gets mistaken for some other famous guitar player . Why go up to Mr no good for nothing Asshole when you have Niel Diamond in front of you .

The councillor} Richard, you’ve gotta stop comparing yourself to other people, that’s a mistake that everyone keeps making. You have to focus on yourself .

Richard} Oh shut up. Focus on myself ?. I can’t hold a bloody tune. You ask me to sing uptone and accapella, I’ll sing bloody gospel instead. Working on myself is not gonna do shit . It’s somewhat easier if you have all these resources, things that you can turn to, but with me, I don’t have much. I’m nothing, I don’t have a purpose. Yeah, I can write scripts but I can’t knock anyone’s socks off, not yet anyway. It’s bloody pointless. What’s the point of that, what’s the point of this, what’s the point of anything. You’re not gonna go and stop this stranger in the street to listen to your bloody screenplay . All they’re interested in is going home. And you’re not gonna chase them and make a scene, make everything and everyone think you are mad. I don’t see a point in that .

The councillor} But Richard, what if people are interested in you ?.

Richard} Oh yeah right, dream on, dream on. You’d wanna be interested in me ?. What, a unqualified man writes screenplays and reads them to bloody lamposts, yeah, why would they be interested ?.

The councillor} You know what ?. I think the problem here is that you’re not confident in yourself. You seem to doubt yourself .

Richard} Well yeah I do, because I can’t do anything right. There’s no point in being confident, I’m not proud of any of this. Why would I be proud of it ?. What, the man on the moon in a far far far away land. Who is fascinated in other moons. The man can’t get off of the moon because he is known as the man on the moon. Probably one of the worst stories I have ever wrote in my entire life. Would you wanna know the man who lives on the moon ?. I am so tired of this shit, man, I’m exausted, I am pissed off. I don’t wanna do this anymore. Where am I gonna go with this ?. It’s just like saying that I write stories and scripts and all is well now but in a few years time, I’m gonna be sweeping the bloody streets. There’s no point in being confident, I have nothing to begin with .

The councillor} Look ok. You have to stop being hard on yourself. God knows where you will be in a few years time. You might be doing something really exciting .

Richard} No, I’m probably gonna be a toilet cleaner or something. I’m gonna be picking up massive pieces of shit, ohh, this one is crunchier, I’ll save that one for later, I’ll get someone else to clean it for me. Bloody crap, man .

The councillor} Richard, don’t start this off again. I thought I told you to be positive .

Richard} What’s the point ?, what’s the point of being positive ?.

The councillor} When you’re positive, good things happen.

Richard} Well no, nothing good happens anyway. Every day I try to be positive and bad shit happens to me, so really, I just give up. The whole thing is a fantasy. You’ve been brainwashed by other people. Positivity and spirituality are created by middle class women. They’re the ones who had money growing up, their parents are rich, they had no problems, they have a stress free life. Ok, they’re fine, but what about us ?, we’re bloody dying over here. To the lord and Jesus Christ, You’re taking that shit on board ?. Positivity . What a fucking liberty . What a load of old shit .

The councillor} Look. I know that things are hard for you, but when the going gets tough, the tough gets going .

Richard} What ?. What are you on about, sir ?.

The councillor} I’m just saying, I’m saying .

Richard} No no, you’re coming up me saying that when the tough gets going, da da da da, I don’t know what you’re bloody on about .

The councillor} It’s a saying, it’s an old saying .

Richard} What, is that made up by middle class women as well ?.

The councillor} What ?. No of course not, what’s all this hatred against the upper middle class ?.

Richard} I don’t bloody know . They are the ones who are making everyone’s lives utter miserable, they have everything served to them on a silver platter, whilst we out here eating shit .

The councillor} Look ok. I’m trying to say that whatever it is, it’s gonna be tough, because life is tough, but if you really believe in something, go for it. It’s all gonna be over in a flash, so enjoy it while it’s still here. What do you wanna do, Richard ?.

Richard} I wanna be a film director !!! .

The councillor} What do you wanna do ?. I can’t hear you. Say it loud and clear .

Richard} I wanna be a film director !!! .

The councillor} Yes Richard, you tell em. And what else are you gonna do ?.

Richard} I’m gonna be big and I’m gonna blow everyone’s minds with my work even if it’s shit .

The councillor} Fantastic, and that’s what you gotta do, you have to dive head first into the fire. You have to sacrifice .

Richard} Right well, I feel a lot better now, cheers .

The councillor} Great. Oh and just one more thing. If you wanna be an artist of any kind, you have to be passionate, you have to really believe in yourself. It’s art and not everyone’s gonna get it,  but if you like it, then that’s all what matters. So, if you really believe in this, Richard, finish it. Put it out in the world and you can have bloody posters if you want. Anything to let people know that you can create art. So Richard, go out there and kill it. I believe in you, Richard, I know that you can do this .

Richard} Ok, I’ll give it a go .

The councillor} Brilliant, fantastic. Now, off you go, and show the world what art really is . { Richard walks out and cheers in the hallway}

The councillor} Hah, silly boy . { He says to himself}

End of script