In The City, Mocumentary Script, Who Let The Cat In ?

{First scene, Tucker is playing with a cat}

Tucker} I always knew that cats are evil, just look at the malice in their eyes, if I can understand on what cats are saying, I swear to god, I can tell you, so, by the look on it’s face, it saying if you don’t shut up, I will poke your eyes out with my sharp claws, and that’s bloody terrifying . Normally, people will say that cats are afraid of humans, but, nuh uh, it turned out to be the other way round, looks like , Charles Darwin got the wrong end of the stick , and there’s no going back, messed up evolution .

{First scene, Everybody’s in Jason’s office}

Delsin} Jason, what the heck is that ?.

Jason} What is what, oh this ?.

Delsin} Yeah, that thing over there , what is it ?.

Jason} Oh, it’s my new binder .

Delsin} What the hell, that looks nothing like a binder .

Jason} Yes it does, that’s what binders look like .

Delsin} No, you might have got the wrong end of the stick, mate .

Jason} No, have you seen one before ?.

Delsin} No , I’d rather leave it as that, my CV is not gonna say , ” Oh, I don’t know on what binders look like ”, cause that’s just shit .

Tucker} Guys, stop talking about folders .

Delsin} They are called binders .

Tucker} Whatever .

{ A cat comes through the window}

Jason} Oh my, what’s that ?.

Delsin} What’s what ?, { Turns around } ” Ahhhhhhhhhhh .

Jason} Guys, calm down, it’s only a cat .

Delsin} Hah ,” it’s only a cat, you can say that at your funeral .

Leroy} Look, it’s fine, it’s head butting the window .

Delsin} Don’t show me on what the cat’s doing .

Tucker} Hey guys, I read this thing in a book .

Delsin} Oh god, what’s it gonna be next , you have to put the head of a unicorn on your head, so that it can jump on you .

Tucker} No, that’s the weirdest thing I have ever heard .

Jason} Why don’t one of guys try picking it up ?.

Delsin} Uh huh, not me .

Jason} Yes, .

Delsin} Why does it always have to be me ?.

Jason} Cause, I am your boss .

Delsin} No, you’re not, stop talking shit .

Jason} I am your boss .

{ Delsin’s read}

” Name one group or duo, who will be the worst in ridiculous situations, come on, it has to be us, there’s nothing better then 1 maniac, a shit talking boy, a mad man who keeps telling me that he’s my boss, and a cat that just wants to rip our guts out and turn it into a knitted jumper , cause you know, that’s all you need in life , to cover up the cracks, you don’t need gorilla glue, you just need us , even though, we can make the damages much more resistant .

Delsin} You need to get that thing away from me , asap .

Jason} Look Delsin, say hello . { As he puts the cat near Delsin’s face}

Delsin} Ahhhhhhhh, please don’t do this to me , what have I ever done to you ?.

Jason} Nothing, it’s cute, isn’t it ?.

Delsin} No, I hate you , I bloody hate you .

Jason} You know what, I think I’m gonna call it Juniper .

Delsin} Oh , please don’t .

{ Jason’s read}

” Yeah, I don’t quite know on how the cat ran in . I think it flew, there was no way it ran in .

Leroy} What’s this kerfuffle ?, over a cat, can’t believe it .

Delsin} Yes Leroy, it’s a kerfuffle, and it’s a big one as well .

Tucker} I love this cat, it doesn’t leave .

Delsin} For goodness sake, Jason, why did you leave the windows open ?.

Jason} So what, I do it to get air in the room, did I know that the cat was fly in here ?.

Delsin} Geez, it’s like an accident , waiting to happen, with you, seriously .

Jason} I don’t even know why this occurs to you, you have bigger problems in your life, not a cat going ape shit .

Delsin} Well, apparently, the shit isn’t far from hitting the fan, and you can’t get a massive net to catch it .

Jason} Oh for god sake .

{ Few minutes later}

Tucker} Hey Delsin, check this out .

Delsin} What is it ?. { He turns round and sees the cat} ” Ahhhhhhh ” .

Tucker} Hah hah hah, got you .

Delsin} I hate you .

Tucker} Check this out, this is what I was meant to show you .

Delsin} Ok . { Turns round}

{Tucker making the cat dance}

Tucker} Heh heh, see this, watch , da da da da da .

Delsin} Please Tucker, is this a set up ?.

Tucker} No, why would it be ?.

Delsin} Cause, you are crazy .

Tucker} No look, Haysleif, Hayslief . { Then the cat attacks him}

Delsin} Yeah yeah yeah, Hayslief, go , just go, now . { Clicks his fingers}

{ Delsin’s read}

” Yeah but seriously, Tucker needs to grow up, who is he, a 20 year old in a 5 year old’s body ?, I won’t even be surprised if he doesn’t know who he is anymore, but seriously, who the heck dances with a cat, I’m surprised that the cat didn’t rip his face off, if it did, big mistake .

Delsin} Jason, can you like, take this guy away from me, the cat’s like, staring into my soul .

Jason} I’m sure it’s not that bad .

Delsin} Oh, it’s not that bad, someone harassing me with a cat that appears to be a living vampire in fur, wouldn’t scar me for life, who are you ?.

Jason} The cat won’t scar you for life, they are innocent animals .

Delsin} Omg, I can’t believe that you don’t understand me ?, might as well just talk to a living bush, with bears of some sort .

{ Then he walks off}

 

End of mocumentary script .