In The City, Mocumentary Script, The Sick Day

{First scene, Tucker is sitting on a bench}

Tucker} What day is it, do you know what it is, is it Friday, I honestly can’t get my head around on what date it is, I’m literally brain dead, it seems like I’m coming down with something, maybe it’s bad luck or something, or it could be a curse, either way, I have no idea .

{Next scene, Everybody is in Jason’s office, all leaning against the wall}

Delsin groans} ” What time is it ?” .

Tucker} I can’t feel my fingers .

Jason} What is wrong with you guys, why are you feeling like this ?.

Tucker} Look, I don’t know but, I think I caught a cold or something .

Leroy} I absolutely feel like shit .

Delsin} Yeah, this man right here, looking like some dislocated tree kelp .

Leroy} Oh shut up, what even is that ?.

Delsin} I think it’s like a strain of seaweed or something, it’s like a Christmas tree but it looks like shit, basically .

Leroy} I don’t like on what I’m hearing .

Jason} How did you guys get sick ?.

Tucker} I don’t know, but I think I got cursed, there are conspiracy theories that are like this .

Jason} No, that is fake news, you didn’t get cursed, you probably got a cold, it’s going around anyway .

Delsin} Oh ok, Doctor, since you are the expert on getting sick, why aren’t you sick, and all of us are ?.

Jason} I don’t know, I suppose that I just have good hygiene, you sanitize your hands and be cautious of what you touch .

Delsin} Bullshit, I’ve never seen you wash your hands in your life, what do you wash your hands with, spit ?.

Jason} No, ewwww, no definetly not, I use hand sanitizer .

Delsin} Liar, you think that you are using that, but you are not, it’s science .

Jason} Look, I don’t know on what you are talking about, I always wash my hands, I could show you if you want .

Delsin} Errr no, of course not, disgustang, why would I want to see you rubbing your hands together with filth, you sicko .

{ Tucker’s read}

” Right so, it’s only been a few minutes in and it’s not getting off to a good start, I had to sit there, watching Lawrence and Jason have a duel about personal hygiene, and I had to just cut it off, because they are beating the shit out of each other, so give it a few minutes yeah ?.

Delsin} What the heck are you doing, man ?.

Jason} I’m putting on a mask, so I don’t inhale your fog .

Delsin} You are a paranoid person, and that thing looks terrifying, take it off .

{Then Leroy gets up and shouts at them} ” Oh for god sake, can you just bloody shut up, stop it stop it, you maniacs .

Tucker} Oh for goodness sake, Leroy, keep your hair on, if they wanna fight, let them fight, it’s nothing to do with you .

Jason} Everybody sit down, I’m getting a head ache, not listening to your unfiltered guff .

Delsin} Hah guff ?, you talk more guff then we do, the sort of guff that would make you run a mile .

Tucker} What the actual heck, why is the light flickering ?.

Jason} No it’s not flickering, I only changed the light bulb last night, it can’t be finished that early .

Leroy} There is thing that I read online, so basically, if you see a light flickering, it means that you are getting a witch craft curse .

Jason} That can’t be real, you don’t get cursed, not like that, anyway .

Delsin} Leroy, when will you actually wake up one day, and realize ” omg, I talk a lot of shit and none of it actually makes sense ”, because you do, and it occurs to me, a lot of the time, you talk pony .

Leroy} Well I never will, because I live by all of the conspiracy theories and superstitions that I do research on, and it’ll remain like that .

Jason} When will any of you wake up and assume that you talk pure shit ?.

Tucker} And you’ll never know, unfortunately .

{ Delsin’s read}

” Jason is a total moron, he’s one of those people who would not remember his name, and call himself something dumb ” .

Jason} Let me tell you something, I don’t care that you guys are sick, I want you out of my office, now .

Tucker} Alright then, see ya .

{ Then they all walk out of the office}

{Jason’s read}

” I’m sorry, but can you go now, turn the cameras off, ok, good day ” .

End of mocumentary script