In The City, Mocumentary Script, The Lost Phone

{First scene, Tucker is walking outside}

Tucker} Ok, so basically, Jason has started this new scheme called Go Brick Free, and it basically entails all of the builders using no bricks for housing, and I just think that it’s the dumbest thing ever, tell me how on earth can you build a house without using bricks and cement, the house wouldn’t even stand straight, you’d just die, I’m sorry but, Jason has crossed the line, the community wouldn’t even be called a community anymore, it would just be shit .

{Next scene, Everybody is in Jason’s office}

Delsin} Ho hey, let’s sing a song to start the day, and piss everyone off, shall we ?. { He says it sarcastically}{ As he stands up}

Jason} Delsin, shush, sit the heck down, are you crazy or something ?.

Delsin} No mate, are you sure, are you sure that you are not crazy, you are messing with the wrong person .

Leroy} Why are we here, Jason, is this a piss take or something ?.

Jason} No it’s not, it isn’t a piss take, this is all for a good reason .

Delsin} If this is all for a good reason, why don’t you just leak it, why are you skeptical of leaking the news so quickly, do you know deep down that it is full of shit ?.

Jason} No I’m not skeptical, why do you think that ?.

Delsin} Because you are, you make us start a circus all for absolutely nothing at all .

Jason} That is absolute nonsense, I don’t do that, where have you seen me do that ?.

Delsin} You do it every single day, you did it yesterday, and the day before, and the day before that, and tomorrow .

Jason} Right, maybe if I get to the point, will you give me a mature reaction ?.

Delsin} A mature reaction, omg .

Jason} Delsin, please .

Delsin} Alright, alright fine, go on .

Jason} Ok so, Tucker lost his phone .

Delsin} Hohhh, omg .

Jason} Delsin, shut up .

Delsin} What, what reaction do you want me to give you ?.

Jason} Well, one that doesn’t make you look like a shitter .

Delsin} Well, I’m really sorry if you are not satisfied with my reaction that I gave you, actually no, I’m not sorry .

Leroy} Omg man, let the man talk for once in his lifetime .

Jason} Thank you, Leroy, ok so, I’m gonna set an investigation for Tucker’s lost phone .

Delsin} Why do you need to set an investigation, for a stupid thing like a phone, you use a phone so that you could get OCD, is there a need for that ?.

Jason} No but, Tucker needs to get it back, he said that it costs him 100 quid .

Leroy} Hah what the, 100 quid, that’s nothing, I had to pay 3 pound 50 for a box of corn flakes, you think that that’s bad, well, think again .

Tucker} No that’s wrong, they don’t charge you 3 pounds 50 for a box of corn flakes, what supermarket do you go to ?.

Leroy} Every average supermarket in London, where do you think I go, Papua new Guinea ?, you are twisted to the limit, I’m sorry but, it’s true .

Tucker} No, bloody hell .

Jason} Guys, are you done now, stopped talking shit yet ?.

Leroy} You can say that .

Jason} Thank you, ok Tucker, what phone did you have ?.

Tucker} Oh, I think that it was a Samsung galaxy .

Jason} Ok, did anybody see any sign of it any where ?.

Delsin} No, not that I know of, where are you going with this ?.

Jason} Well, I’m just trying to track it down .

Leroy} You seem triggered, some how, your brain has gone inside out, how the hell can you track a phone down if you don’t know on where it is ?.

Jason} People do this all of the time, how do you think I’m supposed to do it, scream into the phone and tell it to come and find us, that can literally get you sectioned, I’m not doing that, there’s no way, um um .

Delsin} You know what, I’m actually starting to think that there is no phone, and this is just a set up, is this a joke to you ?.

Jason} Well, ask Tucker, see what he says, oh and make sure that you do sign language so that he can understand you, but it’s not possible, because it’s all crap at the end of the day .

Delsin} Tucker, is this just shameless attention seeking, are you playing a game ?.

Tucker} Delsin, don’t you believe me, I can show you if you want, do you want me to send you down the hill to hunt for wolves, the phone is real, everything to you is a joke, isn’t it ?.

{ Tucker’s read}

” I don’t find it funny, he thinks that it’s a joke, I’m a clown, he wants me to congregate in Zippo’s circus, for god sake ” .

Tucker} It’s even that or one of you stole it and don’t have the guts to tell me .

Delsin} Are you bloody blaming me, huh, yeah right, like I’d steal a thing outlined with glass, a thing I would never hold in my hand .

Jason} Woah woah woah, you shouldn’t be blaming anybody that fast, did you even find it yet ?.

Tucker} No I didn’t, does it look like I did ?.

Jason} Look, do you know what, I’m just gonna get my phone and hunt it down myself, since none of you are bothered to join in .

{ Then he picks up his phone and walks out of the door}

Delsin} This is bloody typical, his mind is playing tricks on him again, as it always does, can’t wait for witch craft to happen .

{Then Tucker walks out to find Jason}

Tucker} Jason, is there any sign of it yet ?.

Jason} No , nothing yet, I’m afraid, it must be somewhere though, do you remember when was the last time you had your phone ?.

Tucker} Yes, it was in my hand, where else would it be ?.

Jason} Ok, there’s still no sign of it .

Tucker} Oh right ok .

{Then meanwhile, Delsin goes out to find the phone as well}

Delsin} Bloody hell man, Tucker and his long lost phone, and I don’t think that there is any phone, Tucker is a massive fantasist .

{Then he finds the phone}

Delsin} Oh what’s this, oh, I think I found it, finally, should I just steal it and never tell him ?, yeah, actually, I have a plan, I’m gonna call Jason’s phone and prank him, this is gonna be great .

{ Meanwhile, Jason is waiting with Leroy and Tucker}

Jason} Where is the phone, where could it be ?.

{Then the phone rings}

Jason} Oh wait, what’s this ?. { Then he picks up the phone call}

{Then Delsin starts laughing while leaning against the wall} ” Hah hah hah hah, heh heh heh ” .

{Then the phone call goes on in the back round} ” Shake hands, shake hands I say, shake hands, I thought to myself !!! .

Jason} Ahhhhhhhhhh . { Then he smashes the office phone against the wall}

Leroy} What happened, Jason ?.

Jason} Bloody purge .

{Then Delsin comes running in} ” Hah hah, omg, that was iconic .

Jason} Bloody hell, Tarquin, don’t do me like that, almost gave me a heart attack .

Delsin} Hah hah, it was well worth it .

Tucker} Did you find the phone ?.

Delsin} Yeah, it was in the hallway .

Jason} Why would you leave it there, you dummy .

Tucker} Where else am I supposed to store it  ?, wasn’t my fault .

Jason} Right, I have a head ache, I’m going to have a lie down, see you in a bit . { Then he walks out}

End of mocumentary script .