In The City, Mocumentary Script , The Plant Show

{First scene, Tucker’s walking around}

Tucker} Oh shit, I have just stepped on Jason’s plants, it’s going to stick on my shoe and make the sole turn green, I am so pissed, who the hell put them there ?, you know what, does that mean that my shoes are gonna grow into trees, bloody hell .

{Jason’s read}

” So today, we are doing a plant show, so basically, there’ll be a few contestants competing and who ever has the most exotic looking plant will win , sounds easy enough .

{ Next scene, everybody’s in Jason’s office}

Delsin} Why are there massive bonsai trees, outside ?.

Jason} Oh um, I totally forgot to mention, um, today we are throwing a plant show .

Tucker} A plant show ?.

Delsin} Oh for goodness sake, Jason .

Leroy} Can you please tell me on what a plant show is ?.

Jason} Yes, so um, it’s a competition where a few contestants take part in bringing their own plants, and who ever has the most exotic plant wins .

Leroy} Oh ok .

Delsin} But what the hell, why do we have to do this ?.

Jason} Well, it’s fun, we usually throw one every year .

Tucker} No but seriously, who wants to talk to plants , isn’t that how people get sectioned ?.

Jason} No, what are you talking about, you don’t talk to plants .

Tucker} Are you sure about that ?, because that’s what it said in the letter .

Jason} Omg, hm, It was a typo, I apologize , my mistake .

Delsin} Omg, can’t you see what it says on the letter, is you blind ?.

Jason} No Delsin .

{Tucker’s read}

” The day started off quite shit, I stepped in weeds, now we have to do this stupid plant show .

Jason} We are just doing a plant show, that’s all there is to it , did you bring a plant of some sort ?.

Delsin} No, I don’t, I didn’t bring a tree, cause I don’t have a sack and I’m not a tree surgeon , but I can make a remote control out of a parsnip .

Jason} A remote control out of a parsnip ?.

Delsin} Yeah, never seen one before ?.

Tucker} Jason, sorry to interrupt, do potatoes count ?.

Jason} What no, it’s not a plant .

Tucker} Are you sure, because I’m gonna get one and tie to the ceiling with string .

Delsin} Why in the all mighty world would you throw a plant show ?.

Jason} Cause, why not ?, the public loves this sort of thing .

Delsin} Not us, though .

Jason} Yeah but it’s not all every man for himself, there are other people too .

Delsin} I hate the Earth, I don’t want to talk to you because you live on Earth .

Tucker} You really want to listen to yourself, sometimes, you certainly want to listen to yourself .

Delsin} This is a shit day, and a bloody plant show, with a flipping tree , and people talking to trees, and getting sectioned .

Jason} Why don’t we just get this thing started, everything’s mucked, so hm .

{ Leroy’s read}

” Who the hell thought of a plant show, why do you have so much time on your hands, get a job, have a family, and get plant shows erased .

Tucker} Bloody hell, I can’t believe I’m doing this, I feel like such a tool, honestly .

Jason} This is fun, Tucker, there’s nothing strange about it .

Tucker} Ok so, anything with people competing with plants is not weird ?.

Jason} It’s for the community, it’s not for the birds .

Tucker} All this is gonna do is create a herd and attract people to come and crap over every opportunity the area has .

Jason} Well, this is what it is, I’m the councillor and I make up the rules for the area .

{ Jason’s read}

” Yeah, Tucker is one of those sorts of people who argue with themselves, if you lock him in a room, he’ll have a fully planned conversation and argument sorted out .

Tucker} Is this what you do, Jason, do you do this for a living , do you shit on people for a living ?.

Jason} Omg Tucker, can you just get the plants and do the set up .

{ Meanwhile, at the plant show}

Tucker} Oh god, look at this place, what a drag .

Jason} Tucker, look at this plant .

Tucker turns around}

Tucker} Ahhhh, Jesus, .

Jason} It’s only a plant, it looks great, doesn’t it ?.

Tucker} Jason, seriously ?, what have I ever done to you ?.

{ Then Leroy appears}

Leroy} Oh hey, you won’t believe it, there’s a plant that’s shaped like a scarecrow .

Tucker} Oh for goodness sake, scarecrow plant, What are you, nuts ?.

{ Then, Delsin appears}

Delsin} Oh hey guys, oh crap, this place is crowded .

Jason} I’m glad you came, Lawrence .

Delsin} Yeah, I never wanted to come anyway, but I came , so .

Jason} Superb .

Delsin} Look at all of these plants, though, looks like we’ve been invaded by aliens .

{ Delsin’s read}

” I can’t explain on how shocked I am, but the place is filled with plants, it’s like a farm or a green house, it’s like you’ll sleep with plants, you’ll eat plants , you’ll breathe plants and in the evening with a bonsai on your chest, and you’ll wake up with a stalk of tomatoes in your mouth, um, that’s sounds very satisfying , not .

Jason} Sorry, I’ll be back in a bit .

Tucker} Oh, where’s he going now ?.

{ Jason goes on the podium to make an announcement }

Jason} Hello everybody, sorry to interrupt, I’d just like to say a few words .

Tucker} Yeah yeah yeah, hurry up, Jason .

Jason} Ok so, it’s almost time to announce the winning plant .

Delsin} Wooooo, bloody hell .

Tucker} Hey Delsin, he’s gonna do the speech , soon .

Delsin} Yeah so ?.

Tucker} We should write his speech for him .

Delsin} Yeah .

{ They start writing his speech}

{Few minutes}

Tucker} Ok, this should do .

{Jason walks up to them}

Tucker} Hello mate, good luck with the speech . { Gives him the paper}

Jason} Thank you, I need to go now, won’t be long .

Delsin} Ok, { Starts giggling}

{ Then he goes to do the speech and to announce the winner}

Jason} Ok everybody, can I have your attention , please ?.

{ The people look at him}

Jason} Thank you, so firstly I’d like to start with saying a few words, so plants are great, big plants, small plants, tiny plants . They are very special, including remote controls made out of parsnips and swinging potatoes on string .

{ Delsin, Leroy and Tucker start laughing their head off}

Jason} Yeah, very great, they are bloody brilliant, they are .

Random person in the crowd} Hey, who’s the winner ?.

Another person} Get to the bloody point .

{ They all throw plants at him}

{Few minutes}

Jason} Well, that was a bloody nightmare .

Tucker} Yeah, who told you to say those things ?.

Jason} No idea .

Leroy} They wrote the speech .

Tucker} Leroy, why did you tell him ?.

Leroy} Well I can’t keep a secret , I garrantee you that .

Jason} Oh well, what a mess , look at all of the plants every where .

Tucker} Yeah, you shouldn’t of threw the plant show .

{ Jason’s read}

” A plant show turned into a nightmare, what else can go wrong ?.

{Tucker’s read}

” Jason is an idiot, who would even come up with the idea of a plant show, I don’t know, probably someone who wants to waste someone’s time .

End of Mocumentary script .