In The City, Mocumentary Script, The Music Man

{First scene, Tucker is running outside}

Tucker} Oh for god sake, I just stepped in dog shit, just my luck, I knew it was some sort of bad luck, I think I know on how it happened, so yesterday, I picked up a glass the wrong way round, and now I’ve got bad luck all year round, way to go, Tucker, you idiot .

{ Next scene, Everybody’s in Jason’s office}

Delsin} Jason, can you just be a nice guy, and tell me , what the hell that is ?.

Jason} Oh, that’s a guitar .

Delsin} Is it yours ?.

Jason} Yes, who else are we talking about ?.

Leroy} I never knew that you played the guitar .

Jason} Yeah, it takes time to learn, you don’t pick it up straight away, so .

Delsin} I don’t even believe it myself, if I ask myself, can I try it ?.

Jason} Yeah sure, go ahead .

Delsin} Yesssss, { Then he goes to try it out}

{ Delsin starts doing free style} ” eeeeeeeeeeee, ing ling ling ling . { Then he stops and lifts it up}

Tucker} Oh my, what is that ?.

Delsin} Oh this, hah hah, this is a guitar. { And he attacks him with it}

Jason} Lawrence, What the hell is that for ?.

Tucker} Bloody maniac, he is .

Delsin} Oh I’m sorry, it’s not my fault that the guitar has a mind of it’s own .

Leroy} Jason, do you mind if I try it ?.

Jason} Yes, of course .

{Leroy goes to try the guitar out}

{Leroy starts singing}

Leroy} I’m the music man, get off of the table, kid .

{Jason sits there and face palms}

{ Jason’s read}

” Yeah, I don’t quite know on what happened there, I think we had technical difficulties, I’ll see if I can fix it, won’t be long, it’s usually never a hard process, isn’t it, shutting someone up .

{ Then Leroy smashes the guitar into bits}

Jason} What the actual hell, Leroy .

Leroy} Don’t bloody ask me, ask the ego .

Jason} Leroy, what ego ?.

Leroy} The music man .

Jason} You are not the music man, what the hell is that, anyway ?.

Leroy} Ok, so I assume that you have a lot of space in your head, you’re brain’s like a pea, is there space to fit a chair in there ?.

Jason} Leroy, what’s that got to do with anything ?.

Tucker} Just look , Leroy, you just entered hell, there are chunks of guitar wood, all waiting for you do bloody snow angels in them .

Jason} Can somebody please just fetch me a dust pen and brush, or do they not exist anymore ?.

Delsin} Hah, way before your time, Jason, might as well just get a stick and make marks on the floor, a 100 percent non plastic for this planet, the dolphins will thank you, if they have voices, if they can stand you .

{ Delsin’s read}

” Stupidity , yeah, is like a massive black hole, it’ll suck anybody or anything in it, and if you don’t have tree branch to hang on to, you are done for, mate, and Jason has already got sucked in one, and there’s no going back, he has to live there now, and even I wouldn’t even make an attempt to rescue him, he could just drift along like a tumbling tumbleweed .

Leroy} Why would you actually do that, if you already knew that it was gonna happen ?.

Jason} Cause I didn’t bloody know, did I ?.

Tucker} I mean, who are you ?.

Leroy} Hah me, let me tell you who I am, yeah, I’m the king of my own bloody business, and who the hell are you ?, exactly, sit down, you piffler .

Tucker} You don’t even need to know who I am, and you are the king of your own bullshit, you’re not the music man .

Delsin} You guys are nuts, you even take that as an answer ?.

Jason} No Lawrence, I’ve got up to a point where I’m not going to take any of their crap for an answer, and it’s gonna stay that way .

Tucker} I’m probably just gonna head off , have fun cleaning that , hah hah heh . { Then he walks off}

End of mocumentary script