In The City, Mocumentary Script, Support Your Local Harvest

{First scene, Everybody’s walking outside}

Tucker} Yo, I think somebody delivered me this container of food .

Delsin} Really ?.

Leroy} What food was it ?.

Tucker} I don’t know, I think they delivered me sago pudding or something .

Delsin} What the heck is sago pudding ?.

Tucker} I’d tell you but I don’t you’ll want to hear it, it looks disturbing .

{ Then, next scene, everybody’s in Jason’s office}

Delsin} You go to hill and go down .

Jason} Delsin, stop it .

Tucker} Why are we here ?.

Jason} Oh, I have something to tell you .

Delsin} What is it ?.

Jason} Today, we are doing a harvest festival .

Tucker} A harvest festival ?.

Delsin} Oh come on now .

Leroy} One question, why are we doing a harvest  festival ?.

Jason} Well, we are gonna be raising money .

Leroy} And what for, exactly ?.

Jason} It’s for charity .

Delsin} Nope, are you sure that it’s for charity, or are you doing this only so you can buy a new car ?.

Jason} No, I’m doing this for charity, I’m not doing it to afford money for a new car, why would I need to buy a new car ?.

Delsin} Because we crashed your car. last week , omg, you don’t remember .

Jason} I do, I just don’t have the energy to respond to your stupid questions .

Delsin} Why though, you should be able to do it, rapidly .

Tucker} Yes but what charity are we raising money for ?.

Jason} We are raising money to get pillars built on the streets , instead of lamp posts .

Delsin} Oh my, you are so nutty, you know that ?.

Tucker} Why have you chosen pillars, they aren’t any different compared to lamp posts .

Jason} Because they are made with different material, they don’t melt in the sun .

Tucker} Omg I can’t believe this, Delsin, have you ever seen a lamp post melt in the sun ?.

Delsin} No, never .

Tucker} Yeah exactly, that’s what I’m trying to say, the man’s sick .

{ Delsin’s read}

” I can’t believe I’m even asking you this question, ok, do lamp posts melt due to the sun ?, do you want me to say the first word ?, forget it .

Delsin} I’m sorry mate, but, you must be really unwell if you are telling me this .

Jason} There’s nothing unwell about this , I’ve seen it in front of my own eyes, I’m not talking shit .

Delsin} Nah mate, I think you are , you need to get your head out of the dustbin .

Jason} Look, if I’m telling you do a harvest festival, you do it , ok ?.

Delsin} Look, We are not your butlers, you can’t make us do stupid stuff like this .

Jason} How is the festival, stupid ?.

Delsin} It’s because you are gonna be building pillars, pillars ?, seriously ?.

{ Delsin’s read}

” I can’t believe that we’re doing this, it’s not even a good cause .

Tucker} What are people gonna be donating this harvest festival ?.

Jason} Like tinned goods and stuff like that .

Tucker} What tinned goods ?.

Jason} Look, do I have to spell it out ?.

Tucker} What tinned goods, though ?.

Jason} Like, tinned tomatoes, heinz baked beans, sweet corn and peas .

Tucker} Hah you see, you even look stupid saying it .

Jason} Please Tucker, can you just do it ?, otherwise I’m gonna attack you with my biguette .

Tucker} Oh my . { Then he walks off}

{Jason’s read}

” So yeah, we are doing a harvest festival, and um,  the boys are supposed to be involved with it, but they don’t seem to be interested , so yeah , I’ll just wish myself good luck .

{Meanwhile, they are in the place where the harvest festival takes place}

Tucker} Oh wow, the place is crowded , tinned goods, see this is not what I was expecting, I thought that they were donating Mcdonalds and KFC , such a bloody waste of time, what’s the point, honestly .

{ Delsin turns up}

Delsin} Oh hi Tucker .

Tucker} Hi .

Delsin} Geez, have you seen the madness here, it’s nuts .

Tucker} Yeah, I don’t know why I’m here, to be honest .

{ Then Jason turns up}

Jason} Hey guys .

Tucker} Hello Jason .

Jason} Can you see on how many donations are here, I’m impressed .

Delsin} Why are you impressed ?.

Jason} Well, it’s all for a good cause . { Does a weird suspicious move}

Delsin} Can you please stop saying that ?.

{ Then they realized that somebody in front of them , was stealing something}

Tucker} Oh shit, did somebody just do that ?.

Jason} Yes they did, I have got the perfect solution .

Tucker} Oh god, what are you gonna do now ?.

{ Then Jason runs out with a massive biguette}]

Jason} Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh .

Tucker} Oh shit, Jason .

{ Tucker’s read}

” Ok, I don’t know if I should be glad that I didn’t get chased and attacked with a biguette but witnessing it was just as painful, I am now meeting up with a person who is claimed to be a lunatic, how worse can life get ?.

Tucker} What the hell, what happened there ?.

Jason} I don’t even know, myself .

Tucker} What did the person steal ?.

Jason} A bloody tin of baked beans .

Tucker} You must be sick in the head .

{Leroy’s read}

” Have you ever wanted to have the super power of rewinding and skipping features and moments in your life, cause watching Jason flipping out is one of the purposes .

Delsin} Why did you freak out ?.

Jason} I don’t know , Delsin, have you heard of Life ?.

Delsin} Yes of course I have, I just never knew on what you meant by it , and now I know, because I have just watched a man turning going full phycho, knocking over the tin cans and attacking somebody with a bread stick .

Tucker} It’s a biguette .

Delsin} Yes I know that, Tucker, I was just making a joke, you can’t take a joke ?.

Jason} Guys, this is just getting out of hand, can you please just leave me, I’m gonna have an early night, refresh my brain .

Tucker} Ok, see ya . { They all walk off}

{Tucker’s read}

” That was kind of weird, it’s scary if you put it there without captions, even though I’m used to a kick off, I’m just not used to seeing Jason kick off, that makes no sense, just pretend that nothing happened .

End of Mocumentary script