In The City, Mocumentary Script, The Community

{First scene, Tucker is scoring shots in a dustbin}

Tucker} Alright , yeah, watch this, prepare to have your minds blown, I am the test shot king, watch and learn , oh for god sake, this is a total fix, you are only seeing this because the trash can is too far away, that’s your fault , not mine, let that be a lesson for you .

{First scene, Everybody’s in Jason’s office}

Delsin} Oh, this is bullshit .

Jason} Why is it bullshit ?.

Delsin} Cause we are sitting here, in clueless mode, why don’t you just tell us the real reason ?.

Jason} Ok, well, you guys are here today because, we are gonna be going through some community problems .

Tucker} Community problems , what problems are included in this ?.

Jason} Well, the first problem is that, there’s a toilet paper shortage .

Leroy} A shortage, of toilet paper, are you having a laugh, is this a joke ?.

Jason} Do you see me laughing ?.

Leroy} Everything is funny to you, you just don’t see it, whatever your stupid face has to offer .

Jason} Well, there is a shortage of toilet paper .

Delsin} Oh, this is a proper masculine cop out .

Jason} Have you even seen a toilet paper shortage ?, if you haven’t, why are you making a comment ?.

Delsin} I have seen a toilet paper shortage, and it basically includes a shortage of people wiping their asses with a role of silk , and it’s trading it with a role of stupidity .

Jason} And how does that even come to mind ?.

Delsin} Just go outside, you’ll see on what I’m talking about, or are you too dumb to agnoledge it ?.

{ Delsin’s read}

” A toilet paper shortage, what ?, that’s a drag, I’m telling you .

{Jason comes back with a sheet of toilet paper}

Jason} See this .

Delsin} Yes I do, I see, and what is this meant to do, for what pleasure ?.

Jason} It’s not gonna do anything, I’m just showing it to you .

Delsin} Oh are you, now, bring it more close to me, I can’t see it from down there, where are you, 20 feet away ?.

Jason} Alright, it’s there. ok . { gives it to Lawrence}

Delsin} Ok cool, what is this, velvet ?.

{ Tucker’s read}

” This is crazy, this is stupid, this is a drag , and that’s all I have to say to you ” .

Delsin} I want to know what this is, you brang it here for no reason, and I’m still sitting here, wondering, what the hell’s going on .

Jason} This is a sheet of Andrex, what do you think this is, velvet ?.

Delsin} That’s literally the answer, do you want me to spell it out ?.

Jason} Yes I do, because I have no idea on what you are talking about .

Delsin} Well then, bloody, shit . { then he throws the sheet of toilet paper at Jason}

Jason} PFfttt, what the heck, Lawrence .

Delsin} See, there you go, velvet, see that’s how you know if that is velvet, you throw it at someone and if it sticks on their face, then it is 100 percent velvet, experiment over .

{ Jason’s read}

” What am I doing with my life, honestly, I just got attacked in the face with velvet, sorry, I mean toilet paper, what’s the point of that, I don’t know .

Jason} Delsin, can you please explain to me, on what happened there ?.

Delsin} It’s called, velvet experiment, ever hear of it ?.

Jason} No, I don’t think I would like to .

Tucker} Delsin, what is velvet ?.

Delsin} Hah, great question, it could mean a lot of things, but, I don’t know .

Tucker} So, why did you actually mention it, if you have no idea on what it even is ?.

Delsin} Listen to me, Karen, that ain’t your bloody business, Karen .

Tucker} Ohhh, I’m a Karen now .

Delsin} Yes you are, get used to it .

Leroy} What is a Karen ?.

Delsin} it’s basically you . { As he points at Tucker}

{ Tucker’s read}

” Ok, so this is the best day of my life, I have basically witnessed a fight with velvet and I’ve been called a Karen, anything else on this bucket list ?.

End of mocumentary script .