In The City, Mocumentary Script, The Broken Door

{First scene, Tucker is sitting on a nearby bench}

Tucker} Can I just ask you a question real quick, ok, does this bench remind you of being in PE ?, can’t you hear me, I said, Does this bench remind you of being in PE ?, ok, never mind .

{Next scene, Everybody is in Jason’s office}

Delsin} Tell me if you think that this isn’t real, but I think that I saw your silhouette .

Jason} A silhouette ?, what ?.

Delsin} I swear that I saw your silhouette, sorry if this offends you, actually no, I’m not sorry, but are you a ghost ?.

Jason} No I’m not, not that I know of, why do you think that I’m a ghost ?.

Delsin} It’s because you always stand there in a weird position, looking like you are about to shit yourself, is there something that I’m missing ?.

Jason} No you are not, I think you need to go and see a phycologist .

Delsin} No I don’t, have you ever heard of all of the symptoms ?.

Jason} No, there are no symptoms, what are the symptoms ?.

Delsin} Ok, so they are, a sign of brain damage, being thick and thinking that you are posh, when you are not, and it’s very common, a lot of people have this .

Jason} What has any of that got to do with being a ghost ?.

Delsin} Look, haven’t you ever done research before ?, this a goddam farce .

Jason} Look, can you just give up on the ghost conversation, I am not a ghost, and there are more important things to talk about .

Delsin} What like, the shoes you brought, I don’t want to talk about shoes, I don’t give a shit about your shoes, only if it ends up on the ceiling and swings like a helicopter, and knocks out your front teeth, otherwise, I’m not involved in the conversation .

Jason} Ok, well the topic that I have, isn’t about shoes or any crap that sprewed out of your mouth .

Leroy} Well, what is it, then ?.

Jason} It’s about a broken door .

Tucker} Oh for goodness sake, a broken door ?.

Jason} Yes, the door in the office keeps jamming and it doesn’t open .

Tucker} Right, so how did we enter the office if the door didn’t open ?, did we break through a window or something ?.

Leroy} Omg, maybe it’s true, maybe Jason is more stupid then he thinks . { Then he imitates his brain exploding}

Jason} No it’s not, it’s kind of unstable, I almost locked myself out .

Delsin} Well maybe that’s good then, innit, it can do that while giving you a good boot in .

Jason} No, this is a problem, and we need to deal with it, I don’t know on who I can call, though .

Delsin} Just don’t start a circus, ok, just do it and get it over with .

Jason} Tucker, can you just do me a favor and walk up to the door and test it out ?.

Tucker} Why me ?, can’t anybody else do it ?.

Jason} No, just do it .

Tucker} Ok . { Then he walks off and does a test experiment on the door}

Jason} Ok, can you just let me know if the door is open ?.

Tucker} Yeah .

Jason} Ok, how about now ?.

Tucker} Yes, it’s open .

Jason} Ok, I’ll go and check .

{ Then he goes to open the door}

{ But when he tries to open it, Tucker damages a part of the door and sticks his head through the crack}

Tucker} Here’s Johnny !!!!! .

Jason} Ahhhhhhh, Tucker, what’s your problem, man ?.

Tucker} Hah hah, see, the door is fixed, no more problems .

Jason} Yes, I know that .

{ Leroy’s read}

” Watching Tucker blast his head through the door was like watching a ram breaking into a barn, it was disturbing and creepy, I call it Goat head horror .

Jason} You seriously need to fix the door and clean up ?.

Tucker} Why me, why do I have to do it ?, you told me to do it, it was your idea , not mine .

Jason} And when did I tell you to do that ?, I don’t remember telling you .

Tucker} Well you did, you are just a forgetful person, and you didn’t realize you were, until now, which is better then never .

Jason} Right, all of you just need to go, get out of my office, get out, get out now .

Tucker} Why don’t you get out ?.

Jason} Cause it’s my office, and you are a guest .

Tucker} No, you need to go, you look tired and mental .

{Then Jason walks out}

Tucker} Use that part of the door, go through the crack .

Jason} Oh shut up .

Tucker} Hah heh, I’m loving this .

End of mocumentary script .