In The City, Mocumentary Script, Fishing

{First scene, Everybody’s walking together}

Tucker} Was you the one who threw away my scarf ?.

Delsin} What, what scarf ?.

Tucker} There was a scarf that had 3 colors , did you throw it away ?.

Delsin} No, I didn’t see the scarf, why are you blaming me ?.

Tucker} That’s because, nobody else touches it .

Delsin} Well, you are wrong .

{ Then, Jason calls them }

Tucker} Oh hi, Jason, what are you doing here ?.

Jason} Ermm, would it be ok if I could talk to you , just for a few minutes .

Tucker} Omg, what do you think this is ?.

Jason} Nothing, just come and sit down .

{ They come in and sit down}

Jason} Ok, I’d like to talk to you about a few things .

Delsin} Jason, just before we start, I’d like to say something .

Jason} Ok, what do you want to say ?.

Delsin} Ok , so basically, I’m not here to listen to your crap .

Jason} Oh come on, Lawrence, there’s nothing crap about this , I assure you .

Delsin} Nope, nope, I’m sure it’s crap .

Jason} Well, can I at least have my say ?.

Delsin} Right, whatever, but you can keep your shit to yourself, my ears are not a toilet .

Jason} Right, anyway, do you guys like fishing ?.

Tucker} Yes, I did once, it was terrible .

Jason} Ok, why’s that ?.

Tucker} Ok, so firstly, a wild boar came out of the woods, and it ran towards me, so I hit it with a fishing rod, and it got furious and pushed me in the river , long story short, I hate fishing .

Jason} Right well, how the hell did the wild boar appear ?.

Tucker} I don’t know, don’t ask me, how the hell am I supposed to know, the wild, innit ?.

Jason} Ok, well, I was gonna take you guys fishing .

Tucker} Oh for goodness sake .

Delsin} Why do you want to take us fishing ?.

Jason} Well, I thought that would be nice, you know, the nature, the breeze, the fish, you can’t beat going fishing .

Tucker} You can’t take us fishing , are you nuts ?.

Delsin} To be honest, Jason, you have the worst ideas , ever .

Jason} Why though ?.

Delsin} Don’t you know on how lame fishing is ?.

Jason} Well, I like fishing .

Tucker} Yeah, and I don’t .

Jason} Oh come on, guys, it’ll be fun .

Delsin} Jason, you need to wake up, stop day dreaming, you are dancing with a flipping care bear .

Jason} Why do you hate fishing so much ?.

Delsin} Ok, it’s rubbish, ok, nobody’s gonna wave a fish in the air while screaming ” Fishhhhhh ”, ok, I’m not gonna do that .

Jason} You guys are potty .

Delsin} That’s fine, just don’t take us fishing .

Leroy} Oh, you think he’s gonna be soft and accept that ?.

Delsin} Well, he’s forcing us to go fishing, that’s criminal assault .

Jason} It’s not criminal assault, what , catching fish is not illegal .

Tucker} Are you sure, because I think it is, they mentioned it on the news .

Leroy} You know what, you are right .

Jason} Omg .

{ Jason’s read}

” All I want is to take them fishing, I’m not sentencing them up to 10 years in prison, for god sake .

Delsin You know what, why do you like going fishing ?.

Leroy} Because he’s an average person .

Tucker} Yeah, who wants to murder fish ?.

Jason} You don’t murder fish in the process, you catch fish .

Leroy} Hah, animal abuse .

Jason} It’s not animal abuse .

Delsin} Yes, it is .

Jason} Ok enough, do you guys wanna go fishing or clean the toilets ?.

Tucker} What, clean the toilets ?.

Delsin} Oh hell no .

Jason} Well, then let’s go fishing .

Tucker} Oh for god sake, when are you gonna give up with this ?.

Jason} Just shut up .

{ They arrive at their destination}

Tucker} Wow ok, a field .

Jason} Well yes, that’s where you’re meant to do it .

Tucker} Um, nope, don’t think so .

Jason} What do you mean ?.

Tucker} You’re meant to do it in a park .

Jason} A park, no, don’t be silly .

Tucker} Yep, parks are more open, the field’s like a bloody jungle .

{ Tucker’s read}

” Jason taking us fishing , was probably one of the biggest mistakes he has ever made , what was he thinking ?, honestly .

Jason} There’s just something great about the out doors .

Delsin} Yeah , it’s you forcing us to come here .

Jason} Oh, would you just forget about that, already, we are here now, enjoy the view .

Tucker} You have lost your head, mate .

Leroy} Hey Tucker, come and check out this tree .

Tucker} Oh for goodness sake, a tree ?.

Leroy} Yeah, it’s cool, isn’t it, it’s been here for 5 years .

Tucker} Leroy, a tree, seriously ?.

Leroy} Yeah, why ?.

Tucker} It’s weird, every time I see you talking to a tree, my stomach feels funny .

Leroy} Well, that’s just bloody weird .

{ Tucker’s read}

” Seeing Leroy talk to a tree is like talking to somebody through a hatch in a cellar, it’s so hard to un see it .

Jason} Delsin, why don’t you try catching something ?.

Delsin} Oh hell no, not me, you can try it though, it’ll help with your phicotic brain, that needs to be decluttered , asap .

Jason} Ok, don’t mind if I do . { Throws in the fishing rod bait}

{Jason reels out a boot}

Jason} Oh my god, bloody hell .

Delsin} Hah hah, Jason caught a boot .

Jason} Oh shut up .

{ Delsin’s read}

” Omg, Jason caught a boot, hah hah, I’m loving this, all though I might stop, because he might beat me to death with it .

Jason} This is bloody typical, we came here to fish , not to catch boots, what , has the river turned into JD or something ?.

Delsin} Oh well, you asked for it .

Jason} I didn’t ask for this, where did that come from ?.

Delsin} You took us here, so, there you go, fish .

Tucker} Did we come with the car ?.

Jason} No, I doubt it .

Tucker} Oh, thanks a lot, Jason, you truly have made it .

Jason} Well, I didn’t bloody know, did I ?, this place is quite close from home, why would I drive my car, to a place that is a few minutes away from us ?.

Delsin} Bloody hell Jason, .

Tucker} Well then, we might as well just stay here for the night .

Delsin} Oh for goodness sake, the shit has hit the fan .

Jason} Oh, shut up, Lawrence, you are not helping .

Delsin} Well, do I have to help ?.

Jason} No you don’t, I’d rather you keep out of this .

Delsin} Okey dokey .

{ A few minutes later}

Tucker} Jason, do you have any crisps ?.

Jason} No, you can tree bark, help yourself .

Tucker} Err, no thank you , I’d rather starve .

{Leroy’s read}

” What did Jason think was gonna happen, you send us fishing, you get lost and have to sleep in a field, and the worst thing is that, when you wake up, you just see green and trees, but maybe, Jason deserved it, I’d stand by that .

Delsin} Tucker, can you please just stop it with the snoring, I can’t hear myself think .

Tucker} I have a right to snore, don’t tell me that you can’t stand hearing my snoring but you can stand hearing the birds going ape shit, cause that is bang out of order .

Delsin} Oh, whatever .

End of mocumentary script .