Behind The Looking Glass Script, The Spider

David} Hey Craig, come and check out my internet dating status .

Craig} Wow, this is it ?.

David} Yeah, I did it , just now, it took 5 minutes .

Craig} Wow, why are you making a internet dating status ?.

David} What do you mean ?, every man has a internet dating status .

Craig} Yeah not everyone .

David} Yeah I know .

Craig} Did you make one just because you got that review ?.

David} No, what , that one from Collin ?, no, I would never fall for something like that .

Craig} Ok, do you mind if I read and have a look at your profile and description ?.

David} Yeah sure .

{ Craig starts reading the description }

Craig} Hey, my name is David but you can call me Dave , .

David} Yeah, you don’t have to read that part, you can just skip it , move on to the next part .

Craig} Wait a sec Dave .

David} Don’t call me Dave .

Craig} Yeah but you said that I can call you Dave .

David} When have I said that ?.

Craig} You said that in your profile .

David} I know but I meant the girls can call me Dave, you can’t .

Craig} You know what ?, that is bloody sexist .

David} Just read the rest .

Craig} Ok, I don’t like people who are obsessed with anything , or people who are obsessed with their appearance , what the heck ?.

David} Yep, you read my whole description .

Craig} Geez, more like biography , I know enough now .

Collin} Guys .

David} Woah, you scared me .

Craig} Yeah, don’t do that .

Collin} What do you guys think you are doing ?.

David} I’m showing Craig , my internet dating profile .

Collin} I don’t give a shit about your dating profile .

David} That is harsh .

Craig} What brings you here ?.

Collin} You are late for your meeting .

David} Meeting ?, I don’t remember anything about a meeting .

Craig} No mate, my head’s gone blank , was there something about a meeting ?.

David} Yeah I don’t think there was, unless that you are a stupid fantasist .

Collin} Just come in to the meeting room .

David} I thought it was an office .

Collin} Oh shut up .

{ They walked in the office and sat down}

David} Right, so what’s all the hype about, then ? .

Craig} Yeah, tell us the big news .

Collin} You guys are really pissing me off, today .

David} What is it ?, we are all ears .

Collin} I need you to get rid of a spider .

David} A what ?.

Collin} A spider .

Craig} Are you messing with us ?.

Collin} No, I need you to get rid of it, it’s been wandering around in my room for days .

David} Collin, can I tell you a story of when I tried to catch a spider ?.

Collin} No, you guys need to get going , I haven’t got all day .

David} Alright fine , come with me, Craig .

Craig} Ok , coming .

{ A few minutes later}

David} Craig, can you see any sign of a spider ?.

Craig} No, what about you ?.

David} Nah, nothing  .

Craig} Ok , just keep your eyes on the wall, just in case it might turn up .

David}  Ok .

Craig} Dave, when was the last time , you got rid of a spider ?.

David} It was a few weeks ago, it’s a boring story though .

Craig} Ok, tell me the story .

David} Ok, just let me know when you have had enough .

Craig} Yeah ok .

David} One time , I tried to catch a spider , and I was out of focus, so I looked behind me, by the time I turned around and it jumped on me, and a broke the ladder, and I got the bowl stuck on my foot , my son was laughing at me  .

Craig laughing} Ha ha ha ha ha , classic  Dave .

David} Yeah it was funny, my name is not Dave , it’s David .

Craig} Oh look, the spider’s there , get the bowl .

David} Ok, oh shit, it escaped .

Craig} You better be kidding me , don’t say that it escaped .

David} Oh no, I’m joking, I have it here .{ Suddenly realizes that it’s not in the bowl}

Craig} Dave, I think it’s on your head .

David} What the Hell, ahhhh , crap, I’m out of here .

Craig} Ok, it’s gone now .

David} Are you for real with me, if you are not, this spider will be yours .

Craig} No, it’s gone, it’s back in the bowl .

David} Ok, I have a plan .

Craig} What is it ?.

David} We should surprise Collin with it .

Craig} Yeah , come with me .

{ Puts spider on Collin’s desk }

David} Ha Ha, that’s hilarious , that made my day .

Craig} Yeah .

Collin} Craig, David, I’m coming for you .

David} Oh shit .

Craig} Yeah, we should run .

End of script