The IT Crowd And This Country Mash up

Moss} Roy, have you heard about these new people , coming in to see us today ?.

Roy} No, are there people coming ?.

Moss} Yeah, .

Roy} Right, so that’s the story of the day  ?.

Jen} What’s the story of the day ?.

Moss} Oh, people are coming in to see us today ?.

Jen} Ok, that’s exciting, we really need to get this office cleaned , asap .

Roy} No, you shouldn’t be touching our stuff, Jen , just leave it to us .

Jen} Yeah, but what if the new people have a bad impression on us , we don’t want people assuming that we live like tramps , do we ?.

Roy} I seriously don’t see a problem with that , plus anyway , the last time you got away with cleaning our office, you entered the room with the red door , I don’t want Richmond wandering around in this office .

Jen} Roy, Richmond isn’t gonna come out anymore , he has a serious problem with light .

Roy} I really hope I don’t have to say ” Have you tried Turning it off and on again ?, It’s like a never ending catchphrase , hopefully that they don’t have computers .

A knock on the door .

Jen} Oh look, somebody’s here .

Roy} Just act normal .

Kerry and Kurtan} Hello .

Moss} Hiya .

Jen} Who are you guys ?.

Kerry} Oh , I am Kerry, Kerry Mucklowe , And he’s my cousin, Kurtan Mucklowe .

Kurtan} Hello .

Roy} Hey .

Kurtan} Right, so this is where you live, yeah ?.

Jen} Actually no, this is our office, we work in the IT Department .

Kerry} Oh, ok  cool.

Jen} Do you guys want a cup of tea ?.

Kerry} No thank you .

Kurtan} Wow, is this a computer , haven’t seen these in ages .

Moss} Yep .

Knock on the door .

Jen} Hello, who is this ?.

Mandy} Oh hi, I am  Mandy Harris, Is Kerry and Kurtan there ?.

Jen} Yep, they are over here .

Kerry} Right Mandy, What are you doing here ?.

Mandy} Oh yeah, I found this, Baby Oleg , for the Meerkats family , I thought you wanted one, you told me on how much you liked these .

Moss looking confused and uncomfortable }

Roy} Does she look familiar ?.

Moss whispering } No, .

Roy} Oh yeah, she looks like that lady, um what’s her name ?,

Moss} Judy .

Roy} Yeah Judy, I thought that she was gone .

Roy} Alright Judy, nice seeing you here again , after I tried to help you with your computer , then you stalked me .

Mandy looking confused } Huh ?.

Roy} Oh I think that this is a misunderstanding , I was mistaken you for somebody else .

Jen} What ?, this is Mandy , Roy , Judy’s long gone .

Roy} Oh right, sorry .

Mandy} Well do you want this then ?.

Kerry} No, thanks .

Moss} I’ll take it, if that’s fine with you .

Mandy} Yeah sure .

 

Roy} Moss, what is that thing ?, It keeps staring at me .

Moss} I have no idea .

Roy} Well can you move it ?.

Moss} Yeah .

Kurtan} I have always wondered if this is true , are you Rob Robinson ?.

Roy} Who ?.

Kurtan} Rob Robinson, I know you are , remember I saw you last week , I was trying to get answers from you, remember, you were one of the kids in one of my classes at school, I used to bully you relentlessly , , do you remember me, I’m Kurtan ?.

Roy} Who the hell ?, what ?.

Kurtan} Come on, I know it’s you .

Roy} Who the hell is Rob Robinson ?.

Kurtan} Do you not remember ?.

Moss looking confused at Roy }

Moss} Who the hell is this kid talking about ?.

Roy} No idea, it’s getting to my head .

Kurtan} Are you really him ?.

Roy} No.

Kurtan} HHHHH, Dang it .

 

Mandy} Hello, .

Moss} Hello  .

Roy} Moss, just pretend to have a conversation with her, it will end soon, trust me .

Moss} This woman is crazy for my reputation .

Mandy’s dog } Woof Woof Woof .

Mandy shouting at the dog } Tyson shut up .

The Vicar turns up at the door .

Jen} Hello.

Vicar} Hi, I’m sir Francis Seaton , Is Kerry And Kurtan here ?.

Jen} Yes they are, let me just get them for you .

Vicar} Great, thanks .

Kerry} Hey The Vicar, what are you doing here ?.

The Vicar} I just came out in the city with Jacob, thought I’d come by and check on you .

Moss} Who’s this now ?.

Roy} Oh look, It’s the full family , what are we gonna do, throw a party ?.

Jen} Woah, so many people here, I’m just gonna go mad.

Roy} I honestly just hate life .

Moss} Do you have Aunt Irma , Roy ?.

Roy} No, I am a man, I don’t get Aunt Irma .

Kurtan} What the hell is Aunt Irma ?.

Kerry} Do you have an Aunt coming over ?.

Jen} No, it’s just a day of the month , I don’t have one coming over, I never said anything about that .

Kerry} Oh look, what’s that door over there ?.

Moss} Oh don’t go in there, you’ll kill the rainforest .

Kerry} Oh, don’t be silly , what , a door like that ?, you have to be kidding me .

Kerry enters the door, the door makes a creepy sound }

Kerry} Oh shit, who are you ?.

Lady C appears } I’m sorry .

Kerry} Who are you ?.

Lady C} Get off of my lair .

Kerry} Kurtan, I think somebody’s there .

Kurtan} Oh yeah .

Kurtan} What do you want from us ?.

Lady C} It’s none of your buisness, you arch hypocrite , you pretentious piffler .

Kurtan} Excuse me ?.

Lady C} You are a Chippy oik , and I have had a belly full of you .

Kurtan} Mandy, come here, we need you for something .

Mandy} What is it ?.

Kurtan} Just come .

Mandy chases Lady C out of the room .

Roy} Do you know what’s going on in there ?.

Moss} Not one bit .

Moss} Well at least everybody has gone home, everything is back to normal.

Roy} Yeah .

Moss} Roy, is it normal to feel frightened ?.

Roy} Yeah .

Moss} I think that there’s something under my table .

Suddenly focuses under the table , and Lady C is under there .

Moss and Roy screaming after realizing that Lady C is under their tables .{ Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh .

To be continued .