The Hackney Diaries Script, The Mystery Box .

Hayley} Hey .

Joe} Hey .

Hayley} What are you up to ?.

Joe} Oh nothing really, look at this .

Hayley} Woah, where did you get that from ?.

Joe} Oh, I found this in a charity shop .

Hayley} When do you ever go into Charity shops ?.

Joe} Hey, I do go in to charity shops , it’s antique shops , I don’t like .

Hayley} You didn’t go in a charity shop, I know that for a fact , where did you get it from ?.

Joe} Ok, I found it in a dustbin .

Hayley} You what ?.

Joe} I found it in a dustbin , you can find bargains , they are free as well .

Hayley} Yeah, but you can’t just steal stuff like that .

Joe} What , from dustbins ?, it’s mainly waste, no one is going to know .

Hayley} Are you sure about that ?.

Joe} Of course I’m sure, no one’s gonna run themselves in the ground for things from a dustbin .

Hayley} Ok, do you mind if I open it ?.

Joe} Yeah sure, go ahead .

{ Hayley opens the box }

{Joe giggles}

Hayley} Oh God, what on earth is that horrible smell ?.

Joe} What horrible smell ?.

Hayley} Don’t tell me that you are nose blind .

Joe} I can’t smell anything .

Hayley} Ok ladies and gentlemen , Joe is now nose blind, what a surprise ?.

Joe} Hey, knock it off , I don’t want to smell it anyway .

Hayley} Of course you can smell it, don’t play games with me .

Joe} No seriously, I can’t smell anything , what exactly are you smelling anyway ?.

Hayley} It smells like shit, that’s how far I can go .

Joe} Well , it is very unusual , why are you smelling that ?.

Hayley} I don’t bloody know, Joe, this is awful .

Joe} You shouldn’t of opened the box .

Hayley} Joe, I am not the one who found the box , and you shouldn’t of got it .

Joe} Hey, it isn’t my fault .

Hayley} Oh yes it is ,.

Joe} No it isn’t .

Hayley} Yes it is, you liar .

Joe} Didn’t you read the Greek Myth, Pandora’s Box ?.

Hayley} No, what’s that got to do with anything ?.

Joe} Well, no one listened so the person opened the box and bad omens came out of it .

Hayley} Wow, the amount of bullshit that comes out of your mouth .

Joe} It’s not shit, it is actually real .

Hayley} We are not in a place where things fly everywhere and the world falls apart because of a bloody box .

Joe} You probably got the wrong side of the stick .

Hayley} This is rubbish, just chuck the box in the bin .

Joe} I’m not doing it .

Hayley} You better bloody do it, otherwise this box will end up on your head .

Joe} Ok, ok, I’ll do it .

Hayley} Ok , thank you .

 

Joe} Ok box, it was nice knowing you, we had great times together, I’m going to miss you .

Hayley} Joe, it’s only a piece of plastic and wood, it’s not your family member, why are you doing a eulogy ?.

Joe} Oh shut up, you are ruining the atmosphere of the moment , we have to live in the moment .

Hayley} You have gone completely mad .

Joe{ Chucks the box in the bin .

Hayley} Finally, you made the decision not to keep it, probably the best decision yet .

Joe} Oh shut up .

End of script .