The Disastrous Detectives Script, Its All Fun And Games Until You Get Through Collin

{ First scene, David and Craig are doing a prank call on Collin}

{David starts laughing while dialing the numbers}

Craig} Oh, this is gonna be sick .

David} Yeah .

Craig} Well, what are you waiting for ?, call Collin .

David} Ok, one sec , oh yeah, get the phone, get the video ready .

Craig} Oh yeah, here you go .

{ Collin picks up the phone}

Collin} Hello .

{ The video of the Indian people arguing}

Collin} What the actual heck, what is this ?.

{David and Craig laughing their heads off}

Collin} What the hell is this ?, just wait until I get my hands on you .

David} Oh shit, .

Craig} Turn off the phone, hang up .

{ David hangs up}

Craig} Omg, that was hilarious .

David} Yeah, do you think that Collin knew that it was us ?.

Craig} Nah .

{ Collin walks through the door}

David and Craig trying to hold their laughter }

Collin} Hey, what are you guys up to ?.

David and Craig} Oh, nothing .

Collin} Why are you guys laughing ?.

David} No, we are not laughing .

Craig} Yeah, we are serious .

Collin} Were you the ones who called me ?.

David} Ok, yes we did .

Collin} Why did you do that ?.

David} We thought that it would be hilarious .

Craig} Yeah, and it was .

Collin} Ok, and was it you who was talking and shouting ?.

David} No it wasn’t, it was a video that we found .

Collin} A video , what video ?.

David} It was some video of two people swearing and shouting at each other .

Craig} Yeah, it has like 10 million likes and views, it’s crazy .

Collin} Why aren’t you guys working ?.

David} We aren’t bothered .

Craig} Yeah, if we was to do work, what work would we be doing ? .

David} Yeah, cleaning the sewer or something ?.

Craig} Nah, does he really look like that sort of guy to you ?, he’d make us clean the toilets .

Collin} No, get to work, I haven’t got time to mess with you today .

{ Collin leaves the room}

Craig} Hey David, show me that video , again .

David} Ok { Puts the video on }

{ Craig and David starts laughing}

Craig} Classic .

David} Hey, I have a plan .

Craig} What is it ?.

{ David sneaks behind Collin with the video}

{ The video plays}

Collin} David, what are you doing ?.

David} Crap, messed it up .

Collin} What exactly are you doing ?.

David} I was gonna show you that video .

Collin} I don’t want to bloody see that thing .

David} Why not, sir ?, it’s hilarious .

Collin} No, don’t show it to me, show it to the mice in the cellar .

David} No, not the mice, they don’t even talk .

Collin} Please, let me do my thing .

David} Oh come on Collin, this video is great, watch it .

Collin} No, get it away from me .

David} It’s great, though .

Collin} No it’s not, you are weird .

David} Collin, listen to me, this is the best video in the world, you are gonna thank me for this .

Collin} David, what world are you in ?.

David} No, you probably watch more worse videos, like people walking in a trance .

Collin} How do you bloody know that ? .

David} I just know, ok ?.

Collin} Alright David, you all seeing eye, you don’t know it, you are not the expert .

David} Have you even seen this video ?.

Collin} Do I have to ?.

David} No, but I’d prefer if you did .

Collin} Well, I don’t want to, so, can you go now ?.

David} No, I’m not gonna go .

Collin} Do you want me to chase you with my num chucks ?.

David} Um, no , please don’t .

Collin} Well, that’s what’s gonna happen if you harass me with the video .

David} Is that really necessary ?.

Collin} Yes .

David} Ok, well, before I go, feel free to have a look .

{ Collin stares at David}

{David runs out of the office with Collin chasing him with the num chucks }

Craig} What was all that about ?.

David} No idea, but from my expective, he doesn’t like the video .

End of script