The Comedy Stand up Night Script

Hayley} Hey Joe, what’s going on ?.

Joe} Oh nothing really, you ?.

Hayley} Yeah, not much.

Joe} Today I watched like a comedy stand up show.

Hayley} Really?, cool.

Joe} Comedy stand up is quite hard to put together like what if your jokes, ideas, and speeches are hasn’t got a funny part in it, it’ll just be a nightmare, embarrassing.

Hayley} Why are you talking about comedy, you are not thinking of taking part in it are you ?.

Joe} No , why?, even if I was gonna take part in it, why would it be such a problem to you anyway ?.

Hayley} I am saying if you want to, go for it, but it is a lot of hard work, it is not as easy as you think.

Joe] Oh, so now you know a lot about comedy and stand up, when did you learn about that ?.

Hayley} Look, the tv can be my teacher.

Joe} Yeah, if you could even understand all of it.

Hayley} Look, I can ok, just do your  stupid entertainment, or whatever it is called.

Joe} It is not called pub entertainment , it is called comedy ok .

Hayley} Whatever.

Joe} Right, so now I can see that you don’t have a good knowledge .

Hayley} Oh shut up.

Joe} Don’t stop me from achieving my dreams.

Hayley} What? comedy, you must be having a laugh.

Joe} What ?, I can tell funny jokes, I just won’t right now.

Hayley} As far as I know mate, you can’t tell a joke ok, don’t punch me but it is true.

Joe} Look, it is not funny, I am gonna put smiles on people’s faces   , and I am gonna cure depression.

Hayley} Look, you are gonna produce depression, let alone cure it.

Joe} No , I am not, you don’t know what I am gonna do yet, there is no point in saying that.

Hayley} What are you gonna do?, sing nursery rhymes and dance to christmas songs, cause if you are it is gonna be awful.

Joe} I am not gonna do that, I am 23 , I don’t sing nursery anymore, why not be a helpful friend and support me.

Hayley} What’s there to support ?, anyway I would help if you didn’t do comedy, lately you haven’t done anything to make me laugh, there’s no way you can do comedy and make 10000 people in a crowd laugh.

Joe} Of course I can, you are missing everything, but watch I can do this, it should make you laugh, if it doesn’t make you laugh , then I don’t know what will.

{ Joe, does dance}

Hayley} Ok, stop that, this is not a talent show, like the x factor, this is comedy, you can’t dance, you made me throw up in my mouth, stop dancing you like a chicken.

Joe} Don’t tell me that, I practiced the move in almost 4 weeks, you offended me.

Hayley} Not gonna lie but that move was awful.

Joe} It is some sort of effort, don’t offend me like that. I feel like the crowd would like it.

Hayley} Well , don’t come running to me , if the crowd faint, face palm and get embarrassed and leave.

Joe} Yeah , like they would ever do either of them.

Hayley} I hope you enjoy doing your flipping chicken dance.

Joe} It is not a chicken dance, it is a work of art, and I will enjoy doing it, and I hope that you enjoy your karma.

Hayley} Whatever.

 

A few minutes later at the comedy venue.

Joe} Oh, it is almost time for my turn, wish me luck.

Stranger} Whatever you say, Kid.

Operator} Ok, give it up for Joe, and he will be here to perform a special piece , that he worked on for 4 weeks,  enjoy.

Joe} Hey everybody, this is my firsr time being here tonight, so go easy on me, I am very grateful for being here, how are you guys doing ?.

Everybody} We are good.

Joe} Great to hear it, ok, without further to do , I am just gonna get straight into it, I hope you enjoy it.

Random girl in the crowd} Wooo, this is gonna be great, I know that man, Amazing boy.

Joe} takes a deep breath and does dance}

Hayley} WTH Joe ?.

Audience} What is this ?, boooo , I can’t believe I wasted my money on this.

Hayley} I can’t believe that I am friends with him, he is a nerd.

Joe} What a nightmare this turned out to be, I am going home.

End of script