The Boys Of New York, Mocumentary, Pilot Script

What you are about to read is my own comedy mocumentary show about five boys who live in New York, their names are, Johnny, Dally, Steve, Two bit and Ponyboy and they live in New York City, they are have many opportunities around them, but they just choose not to do anything . The rights for the names go to SE Hinton, the right for the name Dallas Winston goes to her, I didn’t make it up myself, just so you know . It sounds very similar to The Outsiders, which is one of my most favorite films in the world, but instead, this one is a comedy show . If I stole the name ideas, I apologize, I don’t mean to steal someone else’s name idea, but I promise that my script has nothing to do with the film, I am not desrespecting it in any way, the characters are amazing as well as the film and the book but it has different elements in it, so I just wanna come clean, this show is also set in the modern time and it’s really funny, whenever you watch the film and you are heartbroken, just come and read my scripts, they’ll make you feel so much better, ok that’s about it, I hope you have a great day, I love you so much and let me know what you think in the comments and enjoy the script, thank you for reading the description .

{The script starts off with a character who is called Ponyboy and he was born in New York City and he is introducing himself to the directors}

Ponyboy } Howdy stranger, my name is Ponyboy Michael Bushwack Curtis, I am 24 years old, I am a resident in New York . Living here is weird, man, I just see lamposts and streetlights, looking at them, thinking ” Who the hell put that there ?” but yeah, what are they for, are they other versions of trees ?, someone help me here . I also made a few friends, I can’t even remember on how I met them, but all I know is that they are here, and I don’t know why .

{Then he introduces his friends to the directors}

Ponyboy} Ok so, these are my friends, they’re also born here, that is Steve, that is Johnny, that is Two Bit, Dallas and together, we are the  Greasers AKA  the Greasy boys, AKA, the four Greasers and the male casanova .

Steve} Howdy stranger, Yes, this is Steve .

Ponyboy} And that is Johnny .

Johnny} Yo hoo . { He waves} ” My name is Johnny Cade and welcome to New York City ” .

Dally} Goddammit, Johnny, this isn’t Ru Paul’s Drag Race .

Johnny} Yes it is, it’s a documentary .

Ponyboy} Yeah, it’s kind of a coincidence because my name used to be Johnny, except there it had boy at the end, but yeah, we used share the same name, that’s not what annoys me, the thing that does, is that everybody in the neighborhood doesn’t believe me and thinks that Ponyboy  is a fake name, I had a girl friend once, but she ended up dumping me, I got so fustrated, I was done with her and I was like, ” Well, Cherry  isn’t a real name ” so there you go, nobody can change that, me and Johnny have a ship name we call it Johnny boy, some people take advantage and say that they prefer Jally, but oh no that isn’t right, no one can change that, Johnny boy forever . { He says as he makes a fist and puts it in the air} . I also have three brothers, their names are Darry, Sodapop and Pork Chop, they are all older then me, but this isn’t about me, isn’t it, that boy over there, he is Dallas . He may seem like your average, rough, gangster type of person, but really, he is so much more then that .

Dallas} Yeah howdy, I am the male casanova, AKA, the male of New York but you can just call me Dal, it saves half of the trouble . I am Dallas Dalton Winston , I was born here in New York, I’m 21, and I like fighting, stealing and I like punching squirrels that I find in trees .

Ponyboy} Great, I’m telling you now, this man is a legend, he can jump over a fence without getting stuck, he’s a natural .

Dallas} Yeah, I’m not really a natural, every time I do parkour, my flares get holes in them, I have these patches, people think I’m some sort of a tramp and I just have to say ” Mind your own business, you nosy cow ” .

{And everyone just stands there in silence}

Pony boy} Okey dokey .

{Then he introduces his other friend, Two Bit to the camera}

Ponyboy} Oh and this is Two bit, his real name is Keith, but we call him Two Bit .

Two bit} Yeah that’s right, my name is Keith Two Bit Matthews, I am 24 and I also live here, actually, I used to live in Ohio with my cousin, but I came to live down here, it’s just more exciting, there’s a lot going on . Yeah, everybody’s making banana bread now, what’s up with everyone making banana bread, if you go in the grocery stores, all of the bread makers are gone, like what the fuck .

Ponyboy} Yeah, but that’s the whole point, right, you make bread with it .

Two Bit} I know but it’s weird, like what the fuck is banana bread, it’s like the aliens invaded our planet or something, like, I don’t wanna see anything involved with bananas, I’m done .

{Then he introduces the youth worker to the directors}

Ponyboy} Ok so, this is Reggie, he is our youth worker, I sometimes forget on why he’s actually there and what he’s doing here, but he turns people into phychos, he’s a cult leader, isn’t that right ?

Reggie} That’s a bit too far fetched, Ponyboy, I don’t turn people into phychos, I help them .

Ponyboy} No sir, you are wrong, I am right and you are wrong, you belong in movies like The Wicker man and shit .

Reggie} Noooooooooo .

{Reggie’s read}

” Working with the boys can be a bit chaotic sometimes, I’m trying my best to guide them through life but they just seem to go the other way, they think I’m some sort of a cult leader, how dare they, they are sick, man, sick ” . ” But yeah, you know, I’m gonna keep going cause I need a couple hundred bucks in my wallet, it gets hoovered out so quickly, keep spending it all on bills and taxes, like hell no, they don’t need my money, they have their own, they just spend it on refurbishing parks and playgrounds for young children, they’re all full of crackheads and alcoholic pests, they all smoke weed and snort coke all day and night, the lights are on, nobody’s at home, no thank you, I’d rather stay here, I’m happy with how it is, so kindly leave my money alone and jog on ” . I will say that my job is difficult, I just have to stay on the phone all day, talking to these time wasters, cause they got nothing to do all day .

{Then it shows Reggie in the office, talking to someone on the phone}

Reggie} Yes hellooooooooooooo .

{Reggie’s read}

” You know, I wouldn’t trade it for something else, you know, I enjoy helping people, but when these stupid boys come along, right, I have to smile and pretend that I’m a pedophile or some shit, it’s ridicolous ” .

{Then it goes on to Ponyboy showing the directors his pet pony}

Ponyboy} Ok, I think it’s about time that I introduced you to this little fella, so this is my pet pony, it used to be my brother’s but I took over, his name is Tarquin, you know, at first my brother called him Mickey Mouse, but that’s just creepy, so I called him Tarquin, he is a rascal, I have to stand a certain way, otherwise he will go for me, but yeah, I don’t even know why I adopted him, I just did, so, but yeah, he’s alright, keeps me on my toes . Dally absolutely hates Tarquin, he bit him a few times, my god, you should of seen his face, hah hah, he was like, ” Ahhhh hell nah, get off me get off me ” and I chase Tarquin with a boot, let’s just say, it was a failure .

{ Dally’s read}

” Jesus Christ, where do I start, um, Ponyboy’s horse creeps me out, I don’t really like him, he gives me the fright ” . Every time I wake up in my small condo, I see a massive floating head outside of my window, I go outside and I see a freaking horse, I’m sorry but, I ain’t letting him anywhere my Condo, you’re asking for too much ” .

{Then Pony introduces his brother to the directors}

Pony} Oh, if you are wondering on who this handsome fella is, this is my brother, Soda, he works in a gas station just a few miles down from where I live, isn’t that right ?, Soda ?.

Soda} Yeah it’s true, I just had my 5 hour shift, I had to wake up at one in the morning, I was fast asleep and suddenly, this crazy boy runs into my room, thinking he’s in Say Anything and lifts a boom box over his head, I had to take an Aspring for my head ache .

Ponyboy} Yeah, but I had to do it for revenge, because the other day, he told my other brother, Darryl, that I threw a brick the window and Soda blamed me for doing it, I got grounded, so I woke up Soda with a boom box, jumped out of his skin .

Soda} Yeah, but you did do it though, let’s not forget that .

Ponyboy} I know that, but just don’t tell the directors about it, they are gonna get in on the action, next thing we know, we got the paparazzi running after us .

Ponyboy} Plus, that was a romantic gesture, why weren’t you satisfied ?.

Soda} Because I’m not gay, Pony, if I was gay, I wouldn’t have a problem with that .

Ponyboy} Why are you gay ?.

Soda} Who says I’m gay ?.

Ponyboy} You are gay .

Soda} No I’m not, I have a girlfriend .

Ponyboy} Who is it, is it Sandy ?.

Soda} No Ponyboy, don’t mention her name otherwise I will shit in your mouth .

Ponyboy} In case, you didn’t know the story between them too, it’s basically, he partnered up with Sandy and she broke up with him and she had his baby, he’s been quiet ever since the break up happened, I don’t blame him though, he is so much better now, he is thriving, he was better off without her, to be honest .

Soda} Yeah, I kind of liked her though, we had so much in common, she only broke up with me because I didn’t give her a card for the date .

Ponyboy} Yeah, but shame on her, you’ll find someone else, there’s loads of fish in the sea, especially the girl who fancied you at the gas station, what was her name ?.

Soda} Carly, her name was Carly .

Ponyboy} Yeah that’s it, Carly, her name was Carly, she seemed to have a crush on him like she couldn’t take her eyes off of him, every time Soda walked over to change the gas pumps, she just laughed and blushed like crazy, but who is she to blame, ay ?, my brother is very handsome, I can’t blame anyone for liking him, I actually get quite jealous of him, cause he has a six pack and I don’t .

Soda} Yeah well, if you work out, you will get one, but you need to go to the gym everyday if you want a body like mine .

Ponyboy} hey, are you dissing me ?.

Soda} No I’m not, I’m just saying you have to work out if you want a six pack, you don’t get one by doing nothing, don’t you ?.

Ponyboy} Yeah, well I don’t want to look like a sack of potatoes, so .

Soda} You don’t look like a sack of potatoes, you look fine, be happy with how you look .

Ponyboy} Ok that’s true . { Nods}

{Then Sodapop and Ponyboy just stare at the camera} { Then he introduces his other brother to the directors}

Ponyboy} Oh and this my other brother, his name is Pork Chop, my other brother isn’t here to introduce himself but at least the others are here, that’s all what matters . So this Pork Chop, he’s my eldest brother .

Pork Chop} Yeah hi . { Waves}

Ponyboy} He’s been living here in New York City for two years, he used to live in Miami with my other brothers, but then he got married and raised a family here in New York, it was actually weird, cause I never knew that I had a third brother, but I took an Ancestry DNA test and I got a call from somebody and they said ” Look sir, you have a third brother and he is in Miami ” and I was over the moon, I was shocked to the core .

Pork Chop} Yeah like, I didn’t even know who this guy is, he doesn’t even look like me, how the hell is he related to me, it’s weird .

Ponyboy} Yeah, I guess the world works in mysterious ways. Tell the directors about why your parents named you Pork Chop, it’s a crazy story .

Pork Chop} Oh right, ok so, my parents named me Pork Chop because er, well um, I wasn’t called Pork Chop for a long time, I used to be called Corona, but I changed it to Pork Chop because once, I turned up at the butcher  with a pork chop in my hand and I attacked the owners of the store cause they refused to slice the beef and give it to me .

Ponyboy} Wow, that is some mad shit .

Pork Chop} But yeah you know, I sort of like having this name because it sounds cool, I don’t know why my name had to be Corona, they named me that because of my mother always thought I liked the smell of the Corona beer, I don’t know why, they are weird .

Ponyboy} Look, I don’t even know why you called yourself Pork Chop, you could of just chose something normal, there are millions of other names out there and you choose Pork Chop, seriously ?.

Pork Chop} I don’t want to sound boring, that’s not how we do it around here, we have to stand out, not blend in with the herd .

Ponyboy} Yeah that’s true, I’d rather be weird then be normal .

{Then Ponyboy  is still talking to the horse, Johnny, Steve, Two Bit and Dallas are there as well, Johnny looks slightly paranoid}

Ponyboy} Guys look, I can teach it to speak Greek .

Steve} Oh come on, man, why you do this to yourself ?, horses don’t speak Greek .

Dallas} Oh for goodness sake, Pony, I don’t know what you’re thinking with that horse of yours .

Ponyboy} It’s my horse, my rules . Don’t disrespect my horse, you hear me ? .

Dallas} You’re weird man .

Ponyboy} Yeah, call me whatever name you like, I’m not gonna stop liking my horse .

Johnny} Anyway, why would you name a pony, Tarquin ?.

Ponyboy} Because Tarquin is a good name, I’m not gonna call it Gillian, aren’t I ?.

Steve} Jesus Christ, he’s all Hat and no Cattle .

Ponyboy} Oh shut up, It’s my horse . { Then starts talking to his horse} ” You’re a good boy, are you, such a good boy, don’t listen to what those damn fools say .

Two Bit} Wow, I’m feeling sick, actually, it’s making me feel physically sick .

Johnny} Two Bit, if you are gonna throw up, don’t throw up all over me, these flares are expensive .

Two Bit} Where did you find them, in the trash ?.

Johnny} Oh shut up .

{ Then Dallas makes hand signals to the camera}

{Dally’s read}

” But yeah, Ponyboy has got this horse now, it’s called Tarquin, but I call him Ringo Starney, he doesn’t like it when I call him Tarquin, but who is he to blame, Tarquin is a terrible name ” .

” Bahahahaha, I don’t know how to feel, to be honest, that was sickening, I bet you right now, yeah, that Tarquin means nothing to him, he’s just trying to brag to say that he’s got a life, but he’s all Hat and no cattle, if anything, he’s just made himself look a damn fool ” .

{Then suddenly, Ponyboy is harassing everyone with the horse, and Dallas and Johnny are trying to run away}

Dallas} Yo, what are you doing ?, are you crazy or something ?.

Ponyboy} Talk to Tarquin, go on, talk to him, say hello, how you doing ?.

Dallas} Oh hell no, I ain’t talking to any horse, I’m outta here .

Ponyboy} Look, it’s a horse, I think he likes you, look, he’s smelling you .

Dallas} Yeah, and I don’t like him, unfortunatly, I’m gonna shit myself .

{And the horse got closer to him}

Dallas} Ahhhhhhhhhh shit, get away from me, step off, step off, stupid Tarquin, ahhhh, I’m gonna get the hell on out of here . { Then he runs off}

{And Ponyboy, Johnny, Two Bit and Steve start laughing their heads off}

{ Steve’s read}

” Oh my god, what’s he thinking, ever since I met Dallas, he’s been some crazy man, and now he’s got a pony chasing him, how good can this day get ?” .

{Dallas’s read}

” I swear my life, yeah, I’m getting the hell on outta here, I’m no longer associated with this place, I’m just gonna smile and say goodbye, then the next thing I’m gonna say is goodbye ”.

{Next scene, Everyone is in Reggie’s office, Johnny, Steve are still laughing}

Ponyboy} Dude, shut up, it’s not even funny .

Steve} Are you sure about that ?.

Reggie} Wait, what is going on here ?.

Ponyboy} It’s this whole pony thing, it’s getting to my head, please do something and drag these fools away .

Reggie} What pony thing, I don’t get it .

Ponyboy} Right ok, I have a pet horse and the boys are treating it like I am some sort of idiot .

Dallas} Are you joking, that horse is fake as hell, how can you not treat it like a joke .

Ponyboy} Because it’s not a joke, dat’s why .

Reggie} What do you want me to do about this, put it in some sort of a home ?.

Ponyboy} Well no, but what I would like, is for you to prove these maniacs right .

Dallas} Oh so I’m a maniac now, who are you calling maniacs, pal ?.

Reggie} Ok ok, easy going, easy going, shut up please .

Johnny raises his hand} I need a piss .

Reggie} Ok just go, but quickly please .

{Then Johnny gets up and walks off}

{A few minutes later, Ponyboy and Reggie are arguing}

Ponyboy} If you don’t think that I’m telling the truth, you can wazz off, I don’t give a hang .

Reggie} Now listen to me, kiddo, you don’t desrespect me like that, otherwise I’m not gonna help you .

Ponyboy} You help me anyway, that’s what you are here for, you do your job, take a hint and go .

Reggie} Why are you buggin, bro, I’m only asking you to tell me what’s wrong ?.

Ponyboy} If I tell you, will you put your guard down ?.

Reggie} Yes, yes I will .

Ponyboy} Right, so you know about that pony that I have ?.

Reggie} Go on ?.

Ponyboy} Dally, Johnny, Two Bit and Steve keep taking advantage of him, they think I’m going mad or something .

Reggie} Ok first of all, you never told me about this horse of yours .

Ponyboy} 1, of course I have, and 2, it’s not a horse, it’s called a pony .

Reggie} It doesn’t matter, Ponyboy .

Ponyboy} Yes it does, it matters to me .

{Reggie sighs} ” Look, why don’t we talk to them about it ?.

Ponyboy} Hah, talk tothem about it, what’s that gonna do ?, get them sued ?.

Reggie} No, I’m gonna call them in, and that’s all there is to it, just hold your horses .

Ponyboy} Stop saying horses all the time .

{Then he calls Dally, Johnny, Two Bit and Steve outside in the corridor}

Dallas} Yo yo yo, what’s going on, man ?.

Reggie} Nothing, would it be ok if we had a chat, just between, you, Steve, Johnny and us ?.

Dallas} Ok, I got a few minutes .

Two Bit} Well, this is weird, isn’t, talking in the corridor .

Steve} So what’s all this about then ?.

Reggie} Well, you see, Johnny boy has been troubled by this whole  thing and something needs to be done .

Dallas} Oh for crying out loud, if this is about the pony, I’m gonna lose my shit .

Reggie} It is about the pony thing and Ponyboy is not so happy about this .

Johnny} Wait, sorry can I just say something ?.

Reggie} Go ahead .

Johnny} What pony, what is this guy talking about ?.

Ponyboy} Oh, don’t act like you don’t know what I’m talking about, you were here this morning .

Steve} Do you remember, Johnny, he’s talking about that horse who almost bit your arm off .

Johnny} Oh yeah, that horse, what a downgrade, am I right ?.

Ponyboy} No it’s not, you silly billy .

Dallas} Wow, is that what this is about, the pony scandal, wow, what a good few hours of our time, these are the days of our lives and Cameron is fighting over a pony, wow .

Reggie} Look Pony, I don’t think that we can solve this problem, we’ll have to just let it go, it’s not a big deal .

Ponyboy} Wow ok, a big deal is a big deal, I’m not having it .

Reggie} Ok guys, can you just get out of my office, I’ll see you tomorrow .

Dallas} Ok byeeeeeeeeeeeee . { He waves}

{ Then they walk out}

Johnny} Bro, what is it about that horse thing, what are you, nuts ?.

Ponyboy} Just shut your trap .

{Dally’s read}

” Wow, what a waste, seriously, I could of used all of that time for parkour, guess that’s a waste, thanks a lot, Ponyboy, thanks a lot ”

End of mocumentary script .