In The City, Mocumentary Script, The Community Speech

{First scene, Tucker is trying to talk to the camera but people are getting in the way}

Tucker} Can you just, omg, I can’t get the camera to film me, I’m supposed to be talking but, these people are getting in the way, I’m sorry but, no one wants to see your foot, I’d very much appreciate it if you moved, thank you, get out .

{Next scene, Everybody is in Jason’s office}

Delsin} How the hell did we get here, did you drag us with a Morrisons trolley ?.

Jason} No, what the hell are you talking about, that’s pathetic .

Delsin} Thank you, you are pathetic .

Tucker} Why are we here ?.

Jason} Well, I was gonna let you in on a special event that’s gonna be going on today .

Delsin} Omg, what event, I swear, everyday is an event, if you don’t stop there .

Jason} Well, it’s a good event, so I’ll give you that .

Tucker} You know what, sometimes, I sit here and think that there is no event, and you are just making this shit up for clout .

Jason} No that’s absolute nonsense, why would I be doing that ?.

Tucker} It’s because you are a fantasist, and when it comes to the event, it holds nothing .

Jason} Well I’m gonna tell you on what event it is, so feel free to pluck your ears with earbuds and take the shit out of it and use your ears for important reasons, for god sake .

Tucker} And unfortunatly, I ain’t accepting that offer .

Leroy} Omg guys, let the man talk, you can’t cover shit with shit, you just get even more shit .

Jason} Alright then, so, I need to come up with a speech that I need to present to the community .

Tucker} Right, and what’s in it for us ?.

Jason} Well, I need you guys to come up with one for me .

Delsin} Why, why can’t you  just do it yourself, what do you think is gonna come out of this ?.

Jason} Nothing, I just think that it will be good if you guys got involved in a new thing  that you’ve never tried before .

Delsin} I’m not doing it, ok, no no no no no .

Jason} I’ll pay you a 100 pounds .

Delsin} Ok, where is the pen and paper ?.

Jason} Oh um, it’s right here, here you go . { He gives the pen and paper to Delsin}

{ Delsin takes the paper and pen} ” Ok thanks, when do you want us to do it ?.

Jason} Um, you have 5 minutes to write it, I’ll be doing the set up . { Then he walks off}

Tucker} Ok, this is gonna be epic, ok I have a great idea, they are gonna be amazed .

{Few minutes later}

{They are at the place where they are gonna do the speech}

Tucker} Ok, are you sure that this will do ?.

Delsin} Yeah, of course it will, I spent half an hour writing this .

Tucker} Ok then .

{ Then Jason walks up to Leroy, Tarquin and Tucker}

Jason} Hi guys, did you write the speech ?.

Delsin} Um yes, it’s right here . { Then he gives him the paper with the speech on it}

Jason} Ok thank you, Ok I need to go and do it, I’ll see you lot in a bit . { Then he walks off} .

Tucker} Oh this is gonna be hilarious, he’s gonna fall for it s0 bad .

{Then Jason goes up to do the speech}

Jason} Hello everybody, and I’m glad that you made it, and I’m gonna be doing my community speech and I hope that you enjoy it, ok so, oh bloody hell, what is this, um, ok so, I can’t bloody do it .

Delsin} Oh for god sake, I’m gonna go and take over . { Then he goes to take over the speech} ” what the hell are you doing, Jason, honestly, hello, I am Delsin, and I am here to save you from this awful film, and I’m gonna introduce you to a video that we made to get more residents in the Hackney burough, so enjoy . { Then he makes a hand gesture for Leroy to turn on the tv screen} ” Leroy, turn it on .

{Then Leroy turns on the tv and the video of the 2 Indian people arguing} ” You go to hill and go down, you bloody you bloody ” .

{Random person in the crowd} ” Oh hell no ” .

Delsin} Oh god, sorry, there was an error, the system connected to another system, it happens a lot, Leroy, what the hell ?.

Jason} What in the actual hell is this, this isn’t a video for Stokey residents, it’s a bloody video of 2 people going ape shit, how did that end up on my computer system ?.

{Then Tucker leans against the wall, laughing his head off}

Delsin} All of you, yeah, you are massive piss takers, you act like you are experts, look at you, you fainting and making faces, you didn’t come here to watch Jason talking pure shit, you don’t even know on why you are here .

{ Then Tarquin tries to run off}

Jason} Delsin , what the hell was that ?.

Delsin} Yes, it was a masterpiece .

Jason} I’m sorry, but ain’t going in there, they are gonna think that I’m the joker behind all of this .

Delsin} Look, the video wasn’t actually far from the real thing of what happens here .

Jason} It’s not the video, you idiot, it’s the crowd, they are watching us now, like we are a bunch of children at a class party .

{ Jason’s read}

” This is gonna be the last ever time that I’m trusting the boys to do anything community related, it’s a massive bodge ” .

{Tucker’s read}

” Ahhhhh  hah hah hah hah, omg, heh heh heh, sorry, I can’t ” .

{ Delsin’s read}

” I’m sorry but Jason knew on what was coming, he didn’t expect it to be normal, if you let us do it, that’s what you have to work with, it may not be what he wants, but he’s gonna have to work with it, I suppose ” .

{After the massive nightmare speech, Tarquin lines up for Jason to pay him the 100 quid}

Delsin} Jason, where’s that 100 quid that you promised me ?.

Jason} Nah, I ain’t paying you 100 quid, not after what you pulled off .

Delsin} What, you said that you were gonna pay me a 100 quid, that was the deal .

Jason} Ok fine, but just remember, that you bodged it up . { And he gives him the money}

{Then he takes it and realizes that it’s a ten pound note} ” What the hell is this, this isn’t a 100 pound note .

Jason} Well too bad, see ya . { Then he leaves and walks off}

{Then Delsin walks off shouting} Rip off, what a bloody rip off ” .

End of mocumentary script .