In The City, Mocumentary diary Entry, Delsin’s Diary / Twat List

Hello, I am Delsin Lawrence Rowe ,  I was born in America in 1999, and I moved to Hackney, I can’t decide whether moving was a great idea, because I met loads of Bell ends, but it seems to be alright . I met 2 boys called Tucker and Leroy, they are both maniacs, I can’t decide on who is worse, but they are both bozos, but that’s the first thing you do, innit, you meet idiots and then you’re scarred for life .

What do I think of Tucker ?

I think that Tucker is an absolute bell end, he comes knocking on my door at 10 pm, asking for bread and milk, and he just eats all my bloody food, I don’t have time to go to Tesco for more stock .

What do I think of Leroy ?

I think that Leroy is a foolish boy, he thinks that he stands out, when he doesn’t, he’s just as worse than all of us, he just sleeps all the time, lazy git .

What do I think of Jason ?

I think that Jason is a twat, he works in the Hackney Council, that gives me another reason to hate him. He just drags us into his office every single day, but it never holds the truth or reason, total waste of time if you ask me .

What do I think of Collin ?

He is a layabout, he stinks, he doesn’t take showers and he doesn’t change his trousers and he just moans about The Hackney Council every day, has fights with Jenny, who is another one of my neighbors, she doesn’t say too much, but that just gives me the indication to say that she is an ignorant old bat .

What do I think of Amanda ?

She is a phycopath, she gives you the look, every time I pass her by, I say hello, she just tells me to piss off, after that, I’m not even bothered anymore, she can waddle off back to the sea with the other fish cause I don’t care .

What do I think of Jenny ?

She doesn’t talk much, she doesn’t say hi to me when I say hi to her, she just gets in my way every time I go to Tesco, she just follows me around, always sticks her nose up in my business .

Everybody is a total twat .

Hello, this is Delsin, if you’re reading this and you like it, good for you, but if you don’t, kiss my ass, I don’t give a shit, I don’t offer you money, I don’t do anything for you, so just live with it . Have a nice day, guys, and don’t be a twat .