Behind The Looking Glass Script, The Stupid Hunt For The Boot

Collin} Lads, I need you to do me a favor ?.

David} Oh, what now , chief ?.

Craig} You don’t want us to clean the toilets again, do ya ?.

Collin} No, nothing like that, it’s something work related .

David} Alright, what is it ?.

Collin} I have seriously had enough of your sarcasm , just wish that you’d get stuck in and do your job .

David} Well, you get us to do stupid jobs, like make sure that the computers are working right .

Collin} Yeah, but they are normal jobs .

David} Yeah, but do I look like I know IT ?.

Craig} He’s got a point , you have to give us more useful jobs , they have been nothing but useless .

Collin} Ok, I have a job for you, it is so much better .

Craig} Alright, what is it gonna be ?.

Collin} I need you to drive down Green Lanes , something very dangerous is going on .

David} Yesssss, finally, some proper work , I wonder what it’s gonna include .

Craig} Yeah .

{ A few minutes later }

David} Craig, do you see anything here ?.

Craig} No, it’s absolutely spotless , I don’t know on why we are here .

David} Yeah, wait, I think we should keep walking forward .

Craig} Yeah, good point .

{ They walked forward some more }

David} Oh bloody hell, this is getting stupid now, forget it .

Craig} Wait, we can’t give up now, what if we miss anything ?.

David} No mate, as far as I know, we are not gonna see anything .

Craig} Do you know what ?. why don’t you just go that way , and I’ll go that way , let me know if you find anything .

David} Ok, will do , ok see ya .

{ A few minutes later}

David} Bloody hell man, I can’t believe this, all thanks to you, Collin .

Craig} I can’t believe that he’s making me do this job , I wanted to have a night in with my wife , now that’s gone .

David} Oh crap, I think I found something , better call Craig .

{ Dials number to call Craig}

Craig} Hello, what is it ?.

David} Craig, you are not gonna believe this, I think I found something .

Craig} It better be something important , otherwise forget it .

David} It is though, I think I found something .

Craig} Wow ok, that’s cool I guess .

David} Where are you , anyway ?.

Craig} I don’t know where I am , I have been walking for bloody miles .

David} What are you talking about ?. , you’ve only gone across the street .

Craig} Yes, there is no only gone across the street, there’s a flipping dead end .

David} I can’t believe you , just come and find me , yeah .

Craig} Right, ok .

David} This is hilarious , he’s been walking for miles , I can’t help myself but laugh, I should probably go and help him, but this is an amazing moment, that I should treasure forever .

Craig} Ok, I finally got here .

David} Finally, did you find anything there ?.

Craig} N0, you said that you found it already .

David} Oh yeah, silly me, I had a rough night last night, I didn’t tell my boss, though .

Craig} Right ok, I am here to discover the clue of the crime , not to find out about your weird personal life , or that you drank and got drunk in a pub .

David} Ok, here it is .

Craig} Is this a joke or something ?.

David} Yeah I know .

Craig} Don’t tell me that I walked miles, just to come and discover this .

David} Collin man, what a git ?.

Craig} He lied to us , can’t believe that he did this .

David} I hate my life and my job .

Craig} You were the one who applied for this detecting job .

David} I didn’t apply for this job, my girlfriend did , she always gets in my head for these stupid jobs .

Craig} Ok, I guess I’ll take a picture of it .

David} Dude, what are you think that you are doing ?.

Craig} Oh, I’m taking a picture of it .

David} Why are you taking a picture of the single boot ?.

Craig} Because, my grandmother wanted a shoe, she lost her other one , I’m finding one that matches .

David} There’s no time for this , Craig, this isn’t the street version JD .

Craig} This is a free country , I can do this , right ?.

David} No , come on, we should go back to the department .

Craig} Yeah ok , I finally got a picture of a boot , been waiting for a long time for this .

David} Why are you acting like this was on your bucket list ?.

Craig} It’s not on my bucket list .

{They got back to the detecting department }

Collin} Oh good, you guys are back .

David} What the heck , mate ?.

Craig} What the hell was that for ?.

Collin} What was what for ?.

David} Sending us on that bloody trip, just to see a shoe, are you kidding me, Collin ?.

Collin} What do you mean ?.

David} My friend almost got lost , what the hell are you thinking ?.

Collin} Oh I’m sorry, I have no idea on what you are talking about .

Craig} You sent us all that way, just to discover a boot , it wasn’t a real crime .

David} Yeah, it was a waste of time .

Collin} Well , There was no sign of a crime what includes a boot, so someone might have lost it .

David} Are you kidding me ?, you sent us all that way, we walked miles , and now you are saying that it was a lost boot .

Collin} Well yes, what else could it be entitled to ?.

{ he brings his foot out and looks at it }

Craig} Why are you waving your foot up in the air ?.

David} Don’t wave it up in the air, it stinks , when was the last time you had a shower ?.

Collin} Completely irrelivant .

David} Why do you only have 1 shoe on ?.

Craig} Don’t tell me that the shoe was yours .

Collin} It was .

David} Oh for goodness sake .

Craig} I hate you .

David} What shoe size are you ?.

Craig} Does it matter ?.

David} No .

End of script