A Struggling Writer Has A Mental Breakdown Script 5

{Warning, this script contains strong language and adult humor}

{First scene, Richard { The mad man}, is dancing and singing to the song, You Spin Me Round And Round Like A Record by Dead Or Alive, and he’s having a silent breakdown}

{Next scene, he gets called into the councillor John’s office once again. He’s sitting there like he doesn’t even want to know, like he always does}

The councillor} Richard, what’s been going on ?.

Richard} I have been soul searching .

The councillor} Oh really ?.

Richard} Yeah I have and I’m learning so much about myself, it’s fucking brilliant. So many discoveries .

The councillor} That’s great. What have you discovered ?.

Richard} Right so basically, I have discovered that I’m a total shit .

The councillor} Oh Richard, don’t say that .

Richard} What, it’s needed .

The councillor} No it’s not, it’s not needed, not in any way is it needed . You’re in no position to say that you’re a total shit .

Richard} Hah, the truth hurts .

The councillor} Why do you think you’re a total shit, Richard ?.

Richard} It’s because I am, there’s no doubt about it, mate. I write scripts that sound like bloody ancient bible .

The councillor} Your scripts don’t sound like that. What are you on about ?.

Richard} Well, you’re not the one who’s writing them. You’re always like that. You’ve been payed to act that way, all wide eyed, that’s what councilling does to you .

The councillor} That’s Deja Vu, Richard .

Richard} No it’s not Deja fucking vu, alright ?. You smile at everything, you even laugh at a cat falling off a chair. You say that you’re not terrified of spiders and insects, but then you see a butterfly and you shit yourself .

The councillor} Nonsense, man .

Richard} Say what you want, it’s all true .

The councillor} What the hell, man ?, I heard music playing really loudly coming from someone’s office. Was it you ?.

Richard} Yes it was me .

The councillor} Why were you playing music ?.

Richard} I play loud music to block out all the bullshit around me, I don’t have time for everyone’s shit. Less of the shit and more Dead Or Alive .

The councillor} Well, it’s really distracting. I have to do my shifts, you know ?, they’re so bloody hard. I can’t think of councilling when I can hear Dead Room Five, can I ?.

Richard} It’s not Dead Room Five, it’s Dead Or Alive .

The councillor} Whatever, I wasn’t around in the 80s, I don’t need to pull this off .

Richard} You’re bloody fifty, you’re fifty !!!. Of course you were around in the 80s, you dog .

The councillor} Alright yeah, I was alive in the 80s .

Richard} What, you don’t like muse ?.

The councillor} No I like muse, it’s just, I don’t remember that specific song .

Richard} Haha .

The councillor} Cut the shit, Ritchie. You’re gonna play shit, alright ?. Why are you doing this ?.

Richard} Because I’m bored and I’m pissed off. Why not have a lovely little sing along to dance the pain away. You know, as long as it’s not Roberto Blanco because that’s gonna be the thing that’s causing the pain. { Sings} ” Wow wowowowow Wowwwwww}

The councillor} Richard, don’t do this to yourself, you’re driving yourself mad .

Richard} What do you mean, ” Driving yourself mad ” ?, I’ve already gone mad .

The councillor} Oh for goodness sake. { He just sits there}

{ Silence}

Richard} Wait, you don’t know Dead Or Alive ?.

The councillor} Get out .

End of script}