A Struggling Writer Has A Mental Breakdown Script 6

{Warning, this script contains strong language and adult humor}

{First scene, Richard is called into the councillor’s office once again, after driving Tom mad with his demented stories}

Richard} Have you ever heard the story about that man who went mad in the streets of Dalston ?, and everyone thought that it was a bull ?. Did I tell you that one already ?.

The councillor} No, I don’t think you have .

Richard} Well in that case, I think I should fill you in on the whole thing .

The councillor} Richard, I don’t have that much time .

Richard} Oh it’s fine, don’t worry about it, there’s only like two pages, it’s not a bloody thesis .

The councillor} Richard, how do you think I spend my time here ?.

Richard} You talk shit .

The councillor} I don’t talk shit .

Richard} Yes you do, councilling is shit .

The councillor} No it’s not shit, Richard, it helps people .

Richard} Haha, what a load of old shit . You help me but I’m still losing my mind. It has done shit, mate .

The councillor} How long is the story anyway ?.

Richard} I already told you, it’s like two pages long, but the story is fascinating though, because the man goes mad under circumstances . That’s just what Dalston does to a person, you know what I mean ?. I’ve been down there once, there was this geezer with a stick, I think he was Greek. Then, there were these animal heads shrinkwrapped in these plastic bags, it bloody stinks, man, I thought I was gonna die there . Very lively neighborhood, everyone’s shouting, everyone’s being sick, pigeons are going mad and they’re all doing backflips, it’s bloody mad . Yeah nah man, I don’t want none of it, I just try and stay out of there as much as I possibly can. I don’t wanna be one of them !!, are you mad ?. Fucking Dalston, man .

The councillor} Richard, when are we actually gonna get to the story ?. You seem to be rambling on about Dalston, do you actually know what you’re doing ?.

Richard} Yes I do, I fucking wrote it, you dog !!!. { His voice sounds like he’s having a mental breakdown by the minute}

Richard} Right, here we go, The Man Who Shrieked Havvock In The Street, or as I would say, The Man Who Went Mad In The Street . Hah, that’s just brilliant, isn’t it ?. Also, what a place to go mad . DJ Louise And The Crackheads, what fun. Anyway, we’re jumping into the story now . Benji charges down the street, he frightens a dog. He runs across the street and he shouts at a bus, he’s on all fours, pretends to be a dog . The bloody dickhead, the pressure is on . { Starts singing} ” Daaaaa, he’s gonna get you, he’s gonna get you, baby, he’s gonna get you, he’s gonna get you, baby, he’s gonna get you . { Peep Show Reference}

{ Then he stops singing}

Richard} Benji’s gonna be here in a minute. Ahhhhhh, no Benji !!!, I hate Benji !!. Keep him away from me, I hate Benji. Bloody Benji !!! . My god, you haven’t even bloody met him yet, what are you on about ?. Ahhhhhh, bloody Benji !!!! .

The councillor’s had enough}

The councillor} Noooo, get out !! .

Richard} You don’t know the magic of Benji, sir .

The councillor} I couldn’t give a shit about Benji, get out .

Richard} Benji !!!!!!!!!!!! . { Tries to wind him up}

{The councillor slams the door behind him}

The councillor} Bloody Benji . { Says it under his breath} ” Benji, who the fuck is Benji ?”.

Disclaimer} John realises that his son’s name is Benji. That will haunt him forever .

End of script}