The Adventures Of Disgrace With Joe And Hayley , Locked In Script

Joe} Hey .

Hayley} Hey.

Joe} What are you gonna do tonight ?.

Hayley} Nothing really.

Joe} Ok, can I show you something ?.

Hayley} Yeah, what is it ?.

Joe} Come in the cellar and I’ll show you .

Hayley} Ok, is this it ?.

Joe} Yeah, I found a hatch in the secret door .

Hayley} Wow cool, that’s it ?, looks weird .

Joe} Yeah, its cool though, found it yesterday .

Hayley} That’s cool.

Joe} Yeah sure is .

[ Door slams shut }

Joe} What the heck was that ?.

Hayley} I actually don’t know, oh crap, I think that we are locked in the cellar now .

Joe} What , are you for real with me ?.

Hayley} Yes, it pains me to say, oh no, what are we gonna do now ?.

Joe} Well I don’t know , there’s nothing we can survive on .

Hayley} Great, [ Says sarcasticaly] .

Joe} Is there a way we can break through, by jumping through the windows ?.

Hayley} What , like a bunch of idiots ?, no way .

Joe} Ok well, this is an absolute nightmare .

Hayley} Yeah oh god, I am getting so hungry.

Joe} What already ?, it’s only been 2 minutes .

Hayley} I know .

Joe} Geez, you can literally eat like a pig just by breathing in the air .

Hayley} No, it’s not like that, and I am not a pig, it’s normal to eat a lot .

Joe} Yeah right .

A few minutes

Hayley} I am so bored, what shall we do ?.

Joe} Ok first of all, I don’t want to sing , dance or tell stories, I just can’t, I don’t have any energy .

Hayley} Well, you are very miserable .

Joe} I am not miserable , it is a thing called choices .

Hayley} Yeah, but you never want to do any of those things, that is not a choice .

Joe} Yeah, but the world would be a boring place if you had no choices .

Hayley} I know, but wouldn’t it be good if you just went along with it ?.

Joe} Yeah, but I am not a pushover, anyway, you’d turn this cellar into Butlins, I hate Butlins .

Hayley} What is Butlins ?.

Joe} Have you been living under a rock your whole life ?.

Hayley} No, what is it ?.

Joe} It is a theme park for holiday events .

Hayley} Oh, I thought it was like a park where they have swans and ducks .

Joe} Wow, you really have a brain the size of a pea .

Hayley} Oh shut up, oh it’s really dusty in here isn’t it ?.

Joe} Oh , don’t talk about the dust, it’s making me gag .

Hayley} Ok, what shall we do now ?.

Joe} I don’t know .

Hayley} Well surely, there’s something better to do, other then just staring at the walls .

Joe} Well, I do this every day .

Hayley} That’s obviously why you are going mad .

Joe} How do you know that I am going mad ?.

Hayley} I just know it .

Joe} Yeah, but you don’t know my life, you are not a flipping phychic .

Hayley} Do you have a key ?.

Joe} You can check my pockets, but you won’t find anything .

Hayley} Great, there’s nothing .

Joe} See, I told you .

Hayley} Well, we are doomed .

Joe} We should probably call a locksmith .

Hayley} No not them, they take hours .

Joe} Really ?.

Hayley} Yeah, they do their jobs in all, but one time , I called one person and they just sat around on their phone and smoking a cigarette .

Joe} Ok, then I guess we won’t call one, we’ll stay here tonight  until we start to see a change .

Hayley} Well, this is gonna be a long night .

End of the script