In The West Script, Nothing But Horses And Hay

{ First scene, Gillian is driving to his destination , and he ends up in a field }

Gillian} What the ?. What is this, just fields, why are there horses here ?.

{ He comes out of the car and walks }

Gillian} What is this place ?. { Turns round the corner }

Gillian} Oh look, there’s a person there, why is he dressed like a cowboy ?, that’s bizarre .

Tarquin} Hey, over here .

Gillian} Ok .

{Walks forward}

Tarquin} Need help or something ?.

Gillian} Yes, where am I ?.

Tarquin} You are in the wild west .

Gillian} Ok, what the ?.

Tarquin} You’re welcome .

Gillian} Why are there horses here ?.

Tarquin} Don’t you get it ?, there are always horses, here .

Gillian} Ok, that’s helpful , ok, goodbye .

Tarquin} Do you want me to show you around ?.

Gillian} Surely, there’s not much to show around , there are just fields .

{Tarquin gives him the weird look}

Gillian} Ok, yeah, please show me around .

Tarquin} Ok, so, these are the cabins , where the horses stay .

Gillian} Ok, if there’s a cabin there, why is a horse running loose on a road ?.

Tarquin} Well, I guess they get out , just like that .

Gillian} Ok , I guess that’s a good answer .

Tarquin} And these are the chickens .

Gillian} Ok I’m sorry to interrupt , is that normal ?.

Tarquin} What’s normal ?.

Gillian} The horses done a shit, don’t you clean it up ?.

Tarquin} We do .

Gillian} How many times do you clean it , a day ?.

Tarquin} Probably up to 5 or 4 times .

Gillian} More , you need to clean it more .

{ Gillian walks to the next area }

Gillian} Is that a boot on a stick ?.

Tarquin} Yeah, I use it for internet .

Gillian} What ?, a satellite ?.

Tarquin} Yes a satellite, that’s it .

Gillian} A boot , though, what the hell ? .

Tarquin} Well, I used to use it to scare away the pidgeons , but it ended up being there for internet connection use .

Gillian} That’s just bloody weird, man .

Tarquin} Are you interested in it ?.

Gillian} No, how can a boot connect to the internet ?.

Tarquin} Well, it’s a new update , pretty cool, ay ?.

Gillian} No, that’s not exactly the word that I’d describe it , I’d say it’s odd .

Tarquin} Have you ever tried horse back riding ?.

Gillian} No, I’d rather not .

Tarquin} Oh come on, I’ll show you .

Gillian} No , please no .

{ He put him on a horse }

Gillian} No, no , no, put me down , I am not the horse’s toy .

Tarquin} This is the Wild West , like it or lump it .

Gillian} Oh God no .

Tarquin} Welcome to the Wild West .

Gillian} Maybe get rid of the first word , it’s making my head spin .

Tarquin} How are you liking your first day in the Wild West ?.

Gillian} Not great .

Tarquin} Ok, see you here tomorrow .

Gillian} What ?, no , oh why did I have to end up here ?.

End of script