In The City, Mocumentary Script, Winding Everybody Up

{ First scene, Tucker is walking in the street}

Tucker} Ok, so, let me show you something very cool, so, here, we used to have a harvest festival, and Jason had a mania of raising money for pillars to be built on the streets instead of lamp posts, so he told everybody to donate tinned goods but he had realized that somebody was doing theft , so he ran out with a massive  foot long biguette , and from that event, he got sectioned, but luckily he is out now, I always knew that he was mad from the start, though .

{ Everybody is now in Jason’s office}

Delsin} What the , why are we here ?.

Jason} I called you guys in here so we could go over some things .

Leroy} Omg, what things ?, is this some sort of a list ?.

Jason} Leroy, hear me out, so um, somebody has been littering again .

Delsin} What’s in it for us ?.

Jason} Well, do you have any idea on who might be involved in it ?.

Tucker} No, I have no idea, might be bloody Poseidon, you can give him a call .

Jason} Who is Poseidon ?.

Tucker} Exactly .

Delsin} See, this is the sort of thing that pisses me off, you get us involved in shit that we didn’t even  do .

Jason} I know, but I’m just trying to get answers out of you .

Leroy} Bloody hell, what is the point of that ?.

Tucker} To me, there’s no point what so ever .

Jason} I know, but .

Tucker} Why the hell would somebody get killed or arrested because they littered, what world are we living in ?.

Jason} Well, it’s for the sake of the environment .

Delsin} Who cares about the bloody environment ?, doesn’t make any sense, a bird isn’t gonna go ape shit over tangerine peel .

Jason} Well, that’s kind of the principal .

Delsin} Who gives a shit about the bloody principal ?.

Leroy} Exactly, it’s a waste of time , wake up, Jason, get out of your bloody dream , Jason . { Says it in a very faint voice}

Jason} I am not dreaming, ok, life’s not a dream .

Delsin} Well, I think that you are in one , if you are, you need to wake up immedietly .

Jason} Look, I don’t know what your problem is ?.

Tucker} I don’t think that you understand the amount of shit that we are talking about here .

Leroy} Oh, he understands, alright , he knows it, he’s basically drowned in shite, that you can still see it in his eyes .

Jason} You guys are nuts .

Delsin} Who are you calling nuts ?, you are nuts .

{ Delsin’s read}

” Jason is a total moron, have you ever seen a wild boar, they are like animals but they are also compared to humans in a way, because like, if you look at the animals , yeah, they are asleep, and meanwhile, you suddenly see the wild boar going ape shit, Jason is completely the same .

{ Meanwhile, they are still in Jason’s office , having an endless rant}

Delsin} Oh my god, what are you thinking ?, why are still telling us about the environment ?.

Jason} I’m not asking you to clean the shit, I’m telling you about the littering problem , is that a crime ?.

Delsin} Yes it is, it’s cleansing out my brain water .

Jason} Your brain water ?.

Delsin} Yes, it’s going , { Starts making hand gestures and talks gibberish}

{ Jason’s read}

” Yeah, dealing with Delsin is a little bit tricky, it’s definetly a challenge, I think that he has been a bit mad ever since he moved into a part of the city, he’s the sort of person who will get sectioned but he’ll find a way to get away with it, yeah, it’s definetly up there next to his name , I could just see the headlines now, ” Mad man sectioned ” .

{ Meanwhile, Tucker is playing on a swing}

” Yeah, see, I’m playing on a swing, this is like karma for people like Jason, he probably thinks that I’m too old for things like this, but you know what, piss off .

{ Meanwhile, Leroy is making marks on the floor with a twig}

” Ok so, here’s another fun fact or a superstition, so, here yeah, is a circle on the floor, and me, Delsin and Tucker used to think that it was witch craft, and we heard noises, and we turn around, and the next thing we know, Jason comes running out with a crow bar, so that was the end of that .

{ Tucker’s read}

” Where do I see myself in 10 years ?, I see myself in a BMV and just do drag races and shit like that, and Jason will probably work in a kebab shop, I think that that’s his dream job, I could just imagine him , standing there with a 10 foot long knife, yeah, even if he doesn’t like it, just bloody take it .

{Jason’s read}

” Where do I see Delsin in 10 years ?, I see him running back and forth from a mental asylum, I’m telling you now, the kid is nuts .

{ Delsin’s read}

” What, did he really say that ?, better not have, if he did, yeah, I don’t care, I’m just gonna go, knock him on the chin and go upwards like that, you don’t mess .

{ Tucker’s read}

” Whatever it is, yeah, I don’t give a shit, whatever you get, just bloody take it .

End of mocumentary .