Behind The Looking Glass Script, The Speech

David} Craig .

Craig} Yes ?.

David} Can I tell you something ?.

Craig} Yeah, of course you can .

David} Ok, I saw some weird thing in the street, yesterday .

Craig} Right, what did you see ?.

David} I saw some person , jumping on a recycling bin .

Craig} A what ?.

David} A recycling bin .

Craig} Right ?.

David} And he was jumping up and down, , yeah ?, and the bin broke, and he fell right through it .

Craig} Who the hell jumps on dustbins ?, they are for rubbish, they are not a trampoline , what’s wrong with people ?.

David} Yeah, I took a picture of it , here look{ hands Craig the phone}

Craig} Geez, people at their finest .

David} you know what I mean .

Collin} Hey .

David} Hey .

Craig} Hello .

Collin} What are you guys doing, exactly ?.

David} Oh, I’m showing Craig a picture .

Collin} What’s the picture of ?.

David} A man jumping on a dustbin , care to have a look ?.

Collin} No way, man, don’t wanna see that .

Craig} Ok, what do you want from us ?.

Collin} I need you to hold a speech .

Craig} A speech ?.

David} Woah, speech , why are we doing a speech ?.

Collin} Well, the authorities want to know more about our industry .

David} Ok .

Collin} Ok, so I need you to write a speech, if you need me, I’ll be in my office .

{ Collin leaves the room}

David} Woah, a speech .

Craig} Now we’re talking .

David} Ok, so how shall we start off the speech , any ideas ?.

Craig} I don’t know , do you have any ideas ?.

David} Yes, pass me the pen and paper .

{Craig passes him the pen and paper}

{David giggles while writing }

{A few minutes later , at the press conference}

David} Are you sure, this is fine ?.

Craig} Yes .

Person} Hello sir, if you can start, that’ll be great .

Collin} Ok, so we have a little detecting business , and we have it because, detecting is very important , and it’s very good, and um, um, yeah so, um , err.

David} Oh, this is shit, let me handle this .

{ David walks in and takes over from Collin}

Person} Oh, and who’s this young man ?.

David} it’s David , that’s my name .

Collin} David, it’s not your time yet .

David} Yes it is my time, and it’s my time to shine .

Craig} Yes, go on, David , show them what you got .

David} Hello ladies and gentlemen, this is David and that is Craig, we are both employees at this detecting indistury .

Person} I see, and what do you do ?.

David} Didn’t you hear me, I said, we detect stuff , Jesus Christ, give me a break , I mean, geez .

{Craig giving him the signal to turn on the screen }

David} Oh, I have a small video to show you, just bare with me for a sec .

{ The tv turns on}

{ The video of the man jumping on the dustbin comes on}

Collin} What the hell ?.

{Person faints}

David} Yeah damn right, you know nothing about detecting , why be a journalist if you can’t question people, correctly .

{ Meanwhile, Collin is talking to David}

Collin} What the actual heck, David ?.

David} That was epic .

Collin} No it wasn’t , you are supposed to read the speech, not insult everybody .

David} Well, if you are dealing with David, that’s what you have to work with .

Collin} What was up with that video ?, omg, that’s got nothing to do with anything .

David} Yes it has, you can detect on why the person’s jumping on the dustbin .

Collin} No , no no no no no ,  No !!!! , they are gonna hate me now, they are gonna think that I’m not a professional .

David} Yeah ok, calm down, there’s still some time to save this thing .

Collin} Oh no, we are not saving anything, it’s done now .

David} I’m gonna go and do it .

Collin} No, come back here .

{ David goes back to do the speech}

David} Sorry guys, we had some technical difficulties , but we are back , so thank god for that .

{ Everybody sits down in silence}

David} Ok so, { Says gibberish}

David} So um, gfffguhlkjjsssdtfyg .

Person} Is that person having a stroke ?.

other person} Nah, he’s talking Spanish .

David} Oh crap, ha ha, a few minutes in and I’m already  mucking it up .

Craig whispering }

Craig} David, get the thing , say the line .

David} What the heck, what are you saying ?, oh, I get it, Craig wants to say he’s fine .

Craig} No, I didn’t say that .

David} Oh ok, Now , he’s gonna come, introducing my good friend, Collin .

{Collin walks in with a frown on his face}

David} Are you gonna say anything to the journalists ?.

Collin} Yes, conference over, have a good night .

David} What the hell, Collin, what about the Conference ?.

Collin} No,  you are alone on that one, see ya tomorrow .

David} This is the best day ever { Starts laughing}

End of script